Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • day_dream_believer
    • By day_dream_believer 27th Nov 17, 1:22 PM
    • 3Posts
    • 0Thanks
    day_dream_believer
    Separation Advice
    • #1
    • 27th Nov 17, 1:22 PM
    Separation Advice 27th Nov 17 at 1:22 PM
    Hi

    I am looking for some advice on what to do with my house after a recent separation.
    My wife & I have decided that our relationship isn't working so we are going to separate.
    We live in a house we only bought just over a year ago with our 2 children. My wife simply cannot afford to pay the mortgage on her own as she works part-time, earning less than the mortgage payments. She has hinted she would be wanting me to pay the mortgage in full when I move out. I cannot afford to do that as well as rent a place of my own. I would also be looking to buy again in future so would need to remove my name from existing mortgage. I would like to keep the house in my name and would be prepared to offer her the savings she put into the deposit to buy her out of the house. That could be used towards kitting out a new house she would need to get from the council as she cannot afford to rent. Can anyone offer any advice on what options are available to me?

    Thanks
    D
Page 1
    • Caz3121
    • By Caz3121 27th Nov 17, 1:39 PM
    • 10,864 Posts
    • 7,093 Thanks
    Caz3121
    • #2
    • 27th Nov 17, 1:39 PM
    • #2
    • 27th Nov 17, 1:39 PM
    We live in a house we only bought just over a year ago with our 2 children. My wife simply cannot afford to pay the mortgage on her own as she works part-time, earning less than the mortgage payments. She has hinted she would be wanting me to pay the mortgage in full when I move out. I cannot afford to do that as well as rent a place of my own. I would also be looking to buy again in future so would need to remove my name from existing mortgage. I would like to keep the house in my name and would be prepared to offer her the savings she put into the deposit to buy her out of the house. That could be used towards kitting out a new house she would need to get from the council as she cannot afford to rent. Can anyone offer any advice on what options are available to me?
    Originally posted by day_dream_believer
    I assume you mean that your wife could not take a new mortgage due to income and not that she could not afford to make the monthly payments. In addition to her part time income, your wife will likely have working and child tax credits as well as maintenance from you.
    How does the mortgage amount compare to the amount you would be required to pay in maintenance?
    Does your local council have a glut of empty properties? waitlists can be many years long with possibly b&b or temp housing offered. Why do you say she could not afford to rent privately...she would likely qualify for help through housing benefit unless she had savings over £16k (reductions if over £6k)
    • mrsjanebanbury2009
    • By mrsjanebanbury2009 27th Nov 17, 1:44 PM
    • 77 Posts
    • 74 Thanks
    mrsjanebanbury2009
    • #3
    • 27th Nov 17, 1:44 PM
    • #3
    • 27th Nov 17, 1:44 PM
    If the seperation is amicable, I suggest you contact a soilcitor who can provide a mediation service for you to attend together. This will allow you to come to a financial agreement that suits both of you, and that will be allowed by a judge. (I have fairly recently been through this myself). What I can tell you is that what you will find you need to do is add up all of both your assets (savings, salary, pensions, shares, inheritance etc) then divide them up in such a way that you both have an equal amount available to you, whether that is to rent or buy.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 27th Nov 17, 1:54 PM
    • 16,119 Posts
    • 40,020 Thanks
    FBaby
    • #4
    • 27th Nov 17, 1:54 PM
    • #4
    • 27th Nov 17, 1:54 PM
    That could be used towards kitting out a new house she would need to get from the council as she cannot afford to rent
    It doesn't really work like that though. The waiting list can be long, she could end up in a property in an undesirable area or away from your kids' school if they go already.
    • gonzo127
    • By gonzo127 27th Nov 17, 1:57 PM
    • 4,403 Posts
    • 5,635 Thanks
    gonzo127
    • #5
    • 27th Nov 17, 1:57 PM
    • #5
    • 27th Nov 17, 1:57 PM
    you have pretty much covered most of them

    Her stay in the house - she needs to check the benefits + child maintenance from you, she would be entitled to since that is likely to top up her wage considerably.

    you will need to explain your financial situation to her in that you are unlikely to be able to afford to pay any towards the upkeep of the house due to the costs of living yourself in rented, if you can get some numbers together for rental to show her what you need to live that would probably help.

    if this is an option i would suggest you try to agree a time limit on her buying you out of the house, and agree the % of the house which would be yours upon her selling it, and make it a % of the house not the equity, since you would get any growth/reduction in house price, but not in the equity that she has built up by paying off the mortgage on her own.

    you stay in the house and her move out - make sure you can actually afford this as well, taking the maintenance you will pay for the children out of your outgoings etc,

    you will also need to check that the council will actually house her since there could be rules around being made 'homeless' when she is actually on the mortgage of a house etc, do not assume this will be a possibility. also they might take into account the 'savings' she would have from the you buying her out of the house, which might make it impossible for her to get a house


    sell the house and both move
    - simple in a lot of ways, 'nice' clean break in which neither stays in the house and both can make fresh starts, the main issue will be agreeing the split of the equity of the house, but as you have only been moved in a year, then it should be simple in that each gets their deposit contributions back, and 50:50 any further growth in equity (for example) only issue comes back to if your 'ex' wife can get her own place taking into account the savings she would have from the sale of the house
    Drop a brand challenge
    on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
    10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
    20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
    30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)
    • jamiehelsinki
    • By jamiehelsinki 27th Nov 17, 10:07 PM
    • 91 Posts
    • 114 Thanks
    jamiehelsinki
    • #6
    • 27th Nov 17, 10:07 PM
    • #6
    • 27th Nov 17, 10:07 PM
    A starting point would be 20% of your total pay after pension contributions but before tax and NI for child maintenance for 2 children but this reduces if you have the children over night regularly etc.

    Unless your a big earner you will probably struggle to pay more after your living costs etc, generally you will both be worse off financially after a split she needs to understand this.

    Is there much equity in the house?
    • Sarastro
    • By Sarastro 27th Nov 17, 10:14 PM
    • 339 Posts
    • 266 Thanks
    Sarastro
    • #7
    • 27th Nov 17, 10:14 PM
    • #7
    • 27th Nov 17, 10:14 PM
    I don't think you've any alternative to selling the house.
    • day_dream_believer
    • By day_dream_believer 28th Nov 17, 11:13 AM
    • 3 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    day_dream_believer
    • #8
    • 28th Nov 17, 11:13 AM
    • #8
    • 28th Nov 17, 11:13 AM
    The mortgage is more than double what I would be paying in maintenance. Private renting in our area is going to be more expensive than we're paying for our mortgage. I am happy to walk away and leave the house to her and the kids however, I am virtually certain she won' qualify for the mortgage on her own - I assume the banks don't take tax credits or child support into account? We both have no savings left after buying the house.
    • day_dream_believer
    • By day_dream_believer 28th Nov 17, 11:25 AM
    • 3 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    day_dream_believer
    • #9
    • 28th Nov 17, 11:25 AM
    • #9
    • 28th Nov 17, 11:25 AM
    A starting point would be 20% of your total pay after pension contributions but before tax and NI for child maintenance for 2 children but this reduces if you have the children over night regularly etc.

    Unless your a big earner you will probably struggle to pay more after your living costs etc, generally you will both be worse off financially after a split she needs to understand this.

    Is there much equity in the house?
    Originally posted by jamiehelsinki

    I am well aware we'll be worse off. She seems to think she'll be rolling in it.
    I doubt there will be any equity in the house. The housing market is not what it was when we bought it so I think we'd get around what we paid, maybe a little more but that would all get used on fees if we sold.
    • gonzo127
    • By gonzo127 28th Nov 17, 11:28 AM
    • 4,403 Posts
    • 5,635 Thanks
    gonzo127
    The mortgage is more than double what I would be paying in maintenance. Private renting in our area is going to be more expensive than we're paying for our mortgage. I am happy to walk away and leave the house to her and the kids however, I am virtually certain she won' qualify for the mortgage on her own - I assume the banks don't take tax credits or child support into account? We both have no savings left after buying the house.
    Originally posted by day_dream_believer
    i do not mean this to be rude, but you seem to be assuming a lot in this post or at least jumbling things up, try to break things down as that can help

    the mortgage being double the child maintenance doesnt really have much to do with anything, the main thing is could you afford BOTH, plus bills, plus food, plus travelling to and from work, plus etc etc look at doing a statement of affairs, on the debt free wannbe forum on this site it has a couple of very good links to SOA's, which you can fill in with dummy numbers to get a feel of how things will look.

    a lot of banks DO take into account child maintenance AND tax credits into account on mortgage applications so it is possible she could get a mortgage, but the question is could she get a mortgage AND buy you out? or would you be expected to stay on the deeds with a type of trust set up for when she sells that you would get a certain amount of money out of the house etc.

    as to renting being more than the mortgage, that is very possible, but why not check? pop on rightmove and look at the rentals in your area and SEE how much they cost.

    just try and pin some numbers down instead of ifs buts and maybe's, as it will help you plan and start to figure things out
    Drop a brand challenge
    on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
    10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
    20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
    30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)
    • andydownes123
    • By andydownes123 28th Nov 17, 4:10 PM
    • 120 Posts
    • 200 Thanks
    andydownes123
    Hi

    I am looking for some advice on what to do with my house after a recent separation.
    My wife & I have decided that our relationship isn't working so we are going to separate.
    We live in a house we only bought just over a year ago with our 2 children. My wife simply cannot afford to pay the mortgage on her own as she works part-time, earning less than the mortgage payments. She has hinted she would be wanting me to pay the mortgage in full when I move out. I cannot afford to do that as well as rent a place of my own. I would also be looking to buy again in future so would need to remove my name from existing mortgage. I would like to keep the house in my name and would be prepared to offer her the savings she put into the deposit to buy her out of the house. That could be used towards kitting out a new house she would need to get from the council as she cannot afford to rent. Can anyone offer any advice on what options are available to me?

    Thanks
    D
    Originally posted by day_dream_believer
    What you should do is pay what you are supposed to according to maintenance guidelines. Anymore and you may create a rod for your own back until the judge decides.
    • Ozzuk
    • By Ozzuk 28th Nov 17, 5:04 PM
    • 1,176 Posts
    • 1,723 Thanks
    Ozzuk
    One risk if you push this too hard and it becomes nasty, she'll just stay in the house. She could get a court agreement that the house can't be sold (I think that is the correct process, could be wrong), until kids are 18, or out of FTE (if later). Then you are stuck and choosing to either help with the mortgage or not.

    I've known a few people in this scenario, they often change the mortgage to interest only until the kids are of age. Again, not saying it is a good idea, but I've seen it done.

    Don't forget if you earn more than her then she could come after your pension as well. In reality you need to either agree a financial split, or go legal.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 28th Nov 17, 8:35 PM
    • 6,084 Posts
    • 7,832 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    OP, are there any other assets, such as pensions?
    Have you yet looked into what (i) your wife may be entitled to claim, in tax credits etc (ii) what you will be liable to pay in child support (iii) how much each of you could borrow individually (if the house were sold)

    It's very unlikely that you would be required to pay the mortgage long term.

    It's not unlikely that your wife might be allowed to stay in the house with the children if she can afford the monthly mortgage payments, if that is the best way to ensure a secure home for the children.
    If that happens, then it would be reasonable for her to work towards getting a mortgage in her own name so that you could be released from your mortgage liability.

    How old are the children? That will be relevant to the issue of how soon it may be reasonable for her to increase her hours and move towards working full time.

    What do each of you earn? What would the costs be if one or other or both of you were to rent as opposed to buying?

    What enquiries have you made about availability of council housing? Is it a realistic option?

    All of these are relevant issues in determining what the best way forward will be. It's not as simple as whether you can afford a mortgage or she can't.
    • pinkshoes
    • By pinkshoes 28th Nov 17, 9:41 PM
    • 15,386 Posts
    • 21,004 Thanks
    pinkshoes
    I'm assuming you have been down the counselling route to attempt to save your relationship...?

    Separation generally means bleak financial times ahead, as you will both need homes suitable for having the kids.

    Could you rent a room on the basis that you get to stay at the family home say two or three nights a week to see the kids? (And she could stay with her family???). That would minimise spending on rent/mortgage.

    Do you have a spare room so you could stay in, so you live together but just not as a couple?

    (Or is the reason for the split due to someone meeting someone else??)
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

32Posts Today

4,200Users online

Martin's Twitter