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  • FIRST POST
    • NoNoDrama
    • By NoNoDrama 2nd Nov 17, 7:50 PM
    • 205Posts
    • 59Thanks
    NoNoDrama
    42 and Pregnant - the grim statistics
    • #1
    • 2nd Nov 17, 7:50 PM
    42 and Pregnant - the grim statistics 2nd Nov 17 at 7:50 PM
    My G/F is 42 and pregnant.

    I've researched the miscarriage rate and it's shockingly high (45-50%!)

    She's still early at 8 weeks.

    She will see midwife next week - will the midwife tell her the strong likely hood of something going wrong or just post a positive outlook?

    I'm delighted she is pregnant and naturally so is she (first time !) but I can't ignore the statistics so I'm holding myself back a little.

    I'm obviously not conveying this onto her but it's the back of my mind all the time.

    Being a woman, is she likely to be aware the rate is that high? I know there will always be a risk but does the risk ease after so many weeks the same as a younger woman?

    Thanks.
Page 3
    • jamesperrett
    • By jamesperrett 19th Nov 17, 1:06 AM
    • 699 Posts
    • 354 Thanks
    jamesperrett
    Congratulations on the pregnancy - hope it is still going well. I'm going to echo most of the reassuring words here. My wife had our only son when she was 44. We had had one miscarriage about 18 months before that at 9 weeks where it looked like the embryo never actually developed. Our doctor said that this was very common and many women don't actually realise they are pregnant at that stage - hence the under-reporting of miscarriages.

    With our next pregnancy we were under the care of the fertility clinic (although the baby was conceived naturally) which gave us the luxury of a 6 week scan that showed us all was normal.

    Right from an early stage we decided that we wanted a home birth and, like olgadapolga, we encountered resistance from some midwives but good support from others in the profession who guided us through the process of changing midwife to one who was more supportive. We found that the NCT ante-natal course was really helpful for both of us. The NCT were also really helpful in the first few days after birth as we struggled to find our way through breast feeding - a few minutes with the NCT breast feeding counsellor worked wonders.

    As jackyann say, one of the biggest factors in having a pregnancy with no complications is the health of the mother. We found a very good academic study (sorry don't have the reference to hand) which looked at the pregnancy process for older women and the various factors that affected the outcome. The reason that older mothers have more problems is that more of them have health problems. If you take a sample of women at different ages in similar health, the pregnancy outcomes for the older mothers aren't much worse than for younger mothers.
    • The Ang
    • By The Ang 29th Nov 17, 12:21 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 145 Thanks
    The Ang
    My mom got pregnant when she was 42 and I was 17 at that time. It was unpredicted pregnancy. Unfortunately, it was a miscarriage. It was 22 years ago. She just followed the pregnancy without being worried too much. I remember what she said, "Just follow the fate. It will say something to us. It will teach us something about life."
    Recently, there are several friends of mine that get pregnant on 40s and they are fine. The technology has made great influence on health. So, don't be too worry about it!

    Congratulations!
    • fred246
    • By fred246 29th Nov 17, 3:47 AM
    • 921 Posts
    • 500 Thanks
    fred246
    Right from an early stage we decided that we wanted a home birth and, like olgadapolga, we encountered resistance from some midwives but good support from others in the profession who guided us through the process of changing midwife to one who was more supportive.
    Originally posted by jamesperrett
    For us the health of my wife and my children was more important than having a homebirth. If you tell the midwife that homebirth is more important than their health your midwife should support your decision. If I was a midwife I would probably want that agreement in writing. When things go wrong people then realise that their health is the most important thing. But then it is too late.
    • Elliesmum
    • By Elliesmum 29th Nov 17, 11:36 PM
    • 1,444 Posts
    • 1,748 Thanks
    Elliesmum
    Congratulations NoNoDrama... All will be well. I had my 2nd child at 41 and even though there is a slightly higher risk - all was well and he came out fine.

    The problem you've got is 9 years later, when DS hops onto a very well known auction site and buys a fidget spinner, that he was told he couldn't have

    EM x
    You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
    Plato

    Saving for Jersey 2018 - it's a challenge...
    • jamesperrett
    • By jamesperrett 29th Nov 17, 11:56 PM
    • 699 Posts
    • 354 Thanks
    jamesperrett
    For us the health of my wife and my children was more important than having a homebirth.
    Originally posted by fred246
    We didn't take this decision lightly - we talked to plenty of midwives about this before making it. If you have a baby in hospital the birth is often more stressful, and medical intervention is more likely. We made a great effort to create a relaxed, stress free environment for the birth and we made sure that any anxiety was kept away. It paid off as the birth was quicker than many (7 hours for a first time) with no complications. If there had been complications the hospital was less than 15 minutes drive away.

    The mental preparedness of the people involved is just as important as the physical. Birth is very medicalised in our culture whereas it should really be a natural joyous occasion - women were giving birth long before hospitals existed. I would agree that there are circumstances where a hospital birth is essential but the vast majority of people don't need to go to hospital to give birth - it is simply a cultural norm at the moment.
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