Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 26th Oct 17, 7:52 AM
    • 289Posts
    • 2,363Thanks
    Pauper1
    Are we nearly there yet?
    • #1
    • 26th Oct 17, 7:52 AM
    Are we nearly there yet? 26th Oct 17 at 7:52 AM
    I've been on these forums for nine years (according to all the messages I got from MSE Badger when I signed back in after a few years break), so it's been nine years that I've struggled with money. DH and I entered our 'living together life' with £2k worth of debt, and I remember thinking we'd never get out of it. It massively snowballed after we bought our house in 2010, especially when I became ill, and at our highest we owed nearly £40k.

    After we had our son, we were living in a 2 bed flat, without a garden, and no prospect of moving for years despite the fact we wanted another baby. Our DMP wasn't due to end until 2030something, when we'd be in our 40s. We spent a year or so weighing up the various options - not having another baby yet, me going back to work to pay it all off sooner, having another baby and dealing with the smallness of the house, IVA. In the end we decided to sell our house as it had gone up in value so much.

    Unfortunately we didn't make enough to pay it all off outright, so we're currently going through the settlement process with StepChange. We're making about a 58% offer I believe, but with supporting evidence as to why our income won't change in the foreseeable, so they are better off accepting the offer. It works in our favour that rent is so much more expensive than our mortgage, as our DFD based on the new DMP is 2044! Our debt advisor says they probably won't want to wait that long. I'm just waiting for my MH counsellor to send a letter about my PND that I can pass on to StepChange, and then the ball will get rolling.

    In the meantime, as our disposable income has dropped, I am focusing on spending less and trying to build up some savings. Once the debt is all settled, it will be about 4 years before the partial settlements/defaults drop off our credit file and we can think about buying again. So I will be trying to get a deposit together in those 4 years.

    We are due our second baby now in April, and I am working through my PND with a local counselling service. I will probably go back on the meds once baby is born, and then when it's about 2 (or before, if I'm going mad) I will try to find work to build up the savings even more. I'm also keeping busy with the OU.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
Page 6
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 7th Dec 17, 9:04 AM
    • 632 Posts
    • 3,083 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Well done on getting your report done! Its a fine balance trying to get on top of everything but housework is always the bottom of my list, I would much rather give DS some quality time, housework can wait. When DS was younger I would always try and make cleaning up fun for us so that he helped me rather than undone all of my tidying! The good thing about that now is that he is very helpful when it comes to tidying up. Have a lovely day even if it is miserable!
    Loan:1780.49 2207.38 Car Loan:2039.22 2419.64 0% CC:984.98 1063.48 Overdraft: 860 Overpayment:1781 Total: 7445.69 DFD Dec 18
    SPC 586
    • Drawingaline
    • By Drawingaline 7th Dec 17, 9:07 AM
    • 215 Posts
    • 849 Thanks
    Drawingaline
    Morning sickness sucks. I was rarely actually sick, but that all day hang over feeling is so so draining, without even the benefit of the good night out beforehand

    Good luck with today, it's awful weather here, I am waiting to take the smallest to school then off to work. Enjoy your baking.
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 7th Dec 17, 3:45 PM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,363 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Drawlingaline It's chucked it down here pretty much all day, it perked up a bit a few hours ago but is now raining again! Hope you didn't get soaked on the school runs, and work went okay.

    DebtFreeDuo We do similar and DS loves to help me carry things or hang washing up. It's so cute. It definitely takes longer but it's beneficial for both of us. My DH is *still* useless when it comes to housework, I think he genuinely doesn't realise what needs to be done. He didn't even know how to do toast when we moved in together, as his mum did/does everything! So I make an extra effort to include DS in everything I do so that he can be a much more useful adult haha.

    Housework is definitely the bottom of my list too, but we needed to get a wash on and put some toys away as I couldn't see the floor etc. It's taken us most of the day, but we've played a lot around all of this as well. We baked some banana muffins this morning and took a bath together, so hopefully I've refilled his cup today.

    Today has been my second NSD in a row! Tomorrow won't be though, DS is having a haircut and we've got our 20 week scan in the afternoon so will probably go for a celebratory coffee afterwards (fingers crossed!).

    I can't decide whether I want to find out the sex. We didn't with DS but I didn't get the magical "it's a boyyyyy!" moment because he was checked over for so long after birth, and I didn't get to see him for about 45 minutes, so by the time I did it was more "he's alright!". I'd like to be able to enjoy it this time, and obviously the birth will hopefully be different, but at least this way we definitely get that moment. Also, I'm 99% convinced that it's another boy, and while I don't mind either way, I'm worried I'll be disappointed if I go another 4 months thinking it's a boy and then that 1% chance it's a girl happens... On the other hand, I like the suspense, the guessing, the fact it's not 'common' to not find out, and DH would rather we didn't although has said it's my choice.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 7th Dec 17, 4:22 PM
    • 632 Posts
    • 3,083 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    I found out with my DS but if I had another baby then I wouldn't find out. I always wanted a boy and a girl but I would be happy either way. You will love them unconditionally whether you find out the sex now or in 4 months time. There are lots of things I would do differently second time around though.

    It sounds like you have had a lovely but productive day. I know what you mean about wanting to raise our children to have the skills they need as adults, I encourge DS to do everything with me, I would hate for him to rely on others for things and I think our main role as a parent is to raise our children to be independent.
    Loan:1780.49 2207.38 Car Loan:2039.22 2419.64 0% CC:984.98 1063.48 Overdraft: 860 Overpayment:1781 Total: 7445.69 DFD Dec 18
    SPC 586
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 7th Dec 17, 6:30 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I didn't know the sex of my three. They weren't allowed to tell us when I had mine, but I wanted a surprise anyway . I just bought yellow and white clothes until I knew.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 8th Dec 17, 6:19 AM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,363 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Thank you, both. I also read some articles last night and I'm back on board with Team Yellow. I just have to hope the birth is different than last time, and try not to convince myself that it's a boy!

    I woke up at 5am, think I'm a bit nervous, so I've been balancing my budgets. Again. We're doing well with our food shop, I think I'll be able to stretch it out until Tuesday. I'd forgotten how helpful it can be to bake things. I might try bread! We've got £37.98 in the Groceries account, and £14.86 in the Fuel one, which needs to last another 12 days..... I need to double check how much we've both got left in our tanks.

    I'll use up my cash for today's spends. I forgot about the car park for the hospital as well. Gah. Need to count up my cash as DH has had it the last couple of days and I wouldn't put him past spending it. I did have £13, which would cover it - haircut £3/£4, car park £2.20 (if we get there early enough to park in the one further away) and celebratory coffee £4.05 (if we can resist mince pies...)

    I've got £52.01 pending in TCB but the bigger amounts are linked to monthly payments (insurance and phone contracts), so I think it'll be a few months before they get authorised. I also have £4.46 in PA, at the moment I seem to consistently getting one survey a day, yesterday I had two. Lets hope it continues. I will try to add some bits on to FB marketplace at the weekend as well.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 16th Dec 17, 10:09 AM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,363 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Whoops. It's been too long since I posted. Posting every day keeps me on the straight and narrow!

    Everything went well at the scan by the way.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 16th Dec 17, 10:54 AM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,363 Thanks
    Pauper1
    I've done a fresh budget on YNAB as DH got paid a few days early, and am currently trying to send my student ID photo over to them but my phone is playing up

    I've ignored my credit cards and the savings account I use to pay them off each month, and I'll just "spend" from the budget on there. My new problem is that I'm getting a bit confused with savings - I'm not sure how to "give every dollar a job" when I don't want to spend the emergency fund... :/ I've had a search through the FB group but it's not helping me get my head round it. The 'yearly spends' are easier because I will just put them in the month I intend to spend them - car insurance in July, wedding anniversary in December etc. Hmm, will keep thinking. I've got £1.20 as 'aged money' at the start of the month haha but I aim to build this up in 2018.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 16th Dec 17, 1:12 PM
    • 632 Posts
    • 3,083 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Can't you just pretend the emergency fund doesn't exist until you truly need it? I'm not completely sure how YNAB works but if it links with your accounts then can't you just not link that to it? I may be completely way off here though.

    Glad the scan went well. I agree that posting here often keeps you more on the straight and narrow so post as often as you can just to keep your focus.
    Loan:1780.49 2207.38 Car Loan:2039.22 2419.64 0% CC:984.98 1063.48 Overdraft: 860 Overpayment:1781 Total: 7445.69 DFD Dec 18
    SPC 586
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

3,971Posts Today

7,199Users online

Martin's Twitter