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  • FIRST POST
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 26th Oct 17, 7:52 AM
    • 287Posts
    • 2,352Thanks
    Pauper1
    Are we nearly there yet?
    • #1
    • 26th Oct 17, 7:52 AM
    Are we nearly there yet? 26th Oct 17 at 7:52 AM
    I've been on these forums for nine years (according to all the messages I got from MSE Badger when I signed back in after a few years break), so it's been nine years that I've struggled with money. DH and I entered our 'living together life' with £2k worth of debt, and I remember thinking we'd never get out of it. It massively snowballed after we bought our house in 2010, especially when I became ill, and at our highest we owed nearly £40k.

    After we had our son, we were living in a 2 bed flat, without a garden, and no prospect of moving for years despite the fact we wanted another baby. Our DMP wasn't due to end until 2030something, when we'd be in our 40s. We spent a year or so weighing up the various options - not having another baby yet, me going back to work to pay it all off sooner, having another baby and dealing with the smallness of the house, IVA. In the end we decided to sell our house as it had gone up in value so much.

    Unfortunately we didn't make enough to pay it all off outright, so we're currently going through the settlement process with StepChange. We're making about a 58% offer I believe, but with supporting evidence as to why our income won't change in the foreseeable, so they are better off accepting the offer. It works in our favour that rent is so much more expensive than our mortgage, as our DFD based on the new DMP is 2044! Our debt advisor says they probably won't want to wait that long. I'm just waiting for my MH counsellor to send a letter about my PND that I can pass on to StepChange, and then the ball will get rolling.

    In the meantime, as our disposable income has dropped, I am focusing on spending less and trying to build up some savings. Once the debt is all settled, it will be about 4 years before the partial settlements/defaults drop off our credit file and we can think about buying again. So I will be trying to get a deposit together in those 4 years.

    We are due our second baby now in April, and I am working through my PND with a local counselling service. I will probably go back on the meds once baby is born, and then when it's about 2 (or before, if I'm going mad) I will try to find work to build up the savings even more. I'm also keeping busy with the OU.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
Page 5
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 8:27 PM
    • 2,176 Posts
    • 10,303 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    It must be tough for you if DH suffers from stress. It does mean you have to take on more of the load but sometimes it can't be helped.

    Men sometimes struggle with small children because you can't reason with them, but often come into their own when the kids are older.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £181.63
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 4th Dec 17, 8:51 PM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    I think it's tough for us both; he's supported me through Post-and-Pre-natal Depression recently, ME/CFS a few years ago, more depression before that haha. I suppose now I'm feeling better it's just my turn to shoulder things for a bit.

    Fingers crossed for the coming into their own! (How many years have I got to wait?! )
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 9:39 PM
    • 2,176 Posts
    • 10,303 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Not that long school age?
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £181.63
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 5th Dec 17, 7:50 AM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Our shopping is being delivered this morning, then DS and I have swimming and DH is finishing at lunchtime so he'll probably take DS to soft play or something and I'll crack on with my assignment. Not a NSD but hopefully no unplanned for spends either.

    I'm really frustrated with my bank. At least a week ago we bought the last of our Christmas presents - lots of different little transactions mostly all from Amazon that I didn't bother checking against the orders (naughty me), but they all seemed to have come out, nothing in pending, no reduced balance, then BAM yesterday afternoon £50 odd came out I'd re-sorted out the bank accounts that morning and was feeling confident about our budgets. Now, not so much.

    PLUS DH got an email from his accounts department saying the tax rebate is incorrect and if we claim it (already have done) then HMRC will just ask for it back at a later date. So now the phone and my overspends also aren't covered.

    I'm ready for this month to be over, and to start again.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Dec 17, 8:49 AM
    • 2,176 Posts
    • 10,303 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    How annoying about the tax rebate . It feels like one step forward snd one step back sometimes.

    You should definitely keep a spending diary, either on here or in a notebook so you are less likely to get unpleasant surprises.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £181.63
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 5th Dec 17, 9:26 AM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    I'll need another week's worth of shopping, so will budget £50 for that. DH put petrol in his car yesterday that he says will last about two weeks, so he shouldn't need any more until payday, but I'll budget another £10 there as it's just over two weeks. I think I'll need another £20 diesel. So £80 for essential spends.

    Then we've got things like soft play (£5ish), meal out this weekend (only at Toby so shouldn't be expensive and I'll look for a voucher - about £20), another toddler group Christmas party next weekend (£8.50 this time), so maybe £45 for 'entertainment' just to be safe, and in case DS and I need to get out and do something! Eurgh, I've just remembered that DS has a haircut booked for Friday, so that'll be another £3/£4.

    Bills are already accounted for, so I need £129.

    We've got a "spare" £12.99 in our bills account so I will move that across to groceries, giving us £35.98 in there. There's £14.86 in the petrol account and £1.20 in buffer. I've got £13 in cash. That's £65.04. Doesn't even cover the essential spends.

    Obviously we have various savings so we won't starve but it's so annoying that I seem to be failing to budget properly. Rather than move money across yet I'll see how much I can increase my income/decrease spends by. I'm not going to cancel the parties/haircuts and that's maybe not the best idea, but it's my Christmas mentality. If it was January, I might do. Is this where I need a change of thinking though?!
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 5th Dec 17, 9:30 AM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Thank you HairyHand I think I will pop my spends on here, to keep me accountable, plus to have all the money stuff in one place.

    The shopping this morning was £42.85, which is within budget for a week, but I'll try to eke it out a couple of extra days on the end as well. So next shop should be the 14th. Ooh, our wedding anniversary, what a treat for me haha
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Drawingaline
    • By Drawingaline 5th Dec 17, 10:56 AM
    • 206 Posts
    • 808 Thanks
    Drawingaline
    Hi, just wanted to say I have just read your diary and it sounds like you are doing so well. Hoping you have good news from the other creditors soon.

    How are you finding ynab? I used to be like you, loads of different accounts for all sorts of things, however I found that when I started YNAB I slowly started closing them down and keep most of my funds in my current account now. I still have a savings account but tend to only keep money towards home improvements and holidays in it now. I am on a face group and they are great for helping with any queries about YNAB and how it works etc.
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 5th Dec 17, 12:41 PM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Thanks for popping by Drawingaline! I'm not really getting the hang of it, my multiple accounts are making things a bit tricky, stuff is showing up twice and I'm having to keep making adjustments. I'd be interested in the FB group, what do I search for?
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 5th Dec 17, 3:33 PM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    I'm 49% of my way through my assignment, but I thought it was due in on Friday and it turns out it's Thursday

    Better crack on...
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Drawingaline
    • By Drawingaline 5th Dec 17, 4:30 PM
    • 206 Posts
    • 808 Thanks
    Drawingaline
    Sent a pm about the help group
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 5th Dec 17, 5:12 PM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    74% done. I'm stopping there for the day. If all else fails tomorrow and my final report is complete garbage, I could submit it and be fairly hopeful as I only need 40% correct to get a pass.

    DH and DS are still out! I wish I hadn't had to do my assignment and could've made the most of this child-free time ah well, at least I haven't been trying to do it with a toddler running around I suppose. Might fit a bit of telly watching in before they are back and I have to get tea on.

    Hope you all have a lovely evening.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 5th Dec 17, 5:12 PM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Ooh thank you, drawingaline
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 6th Dec 17, 11:14 AM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Today is (so far) a better day than yesterday. Productive morning getting a wash on, DS let me wash my hair, and we went for a lovely walk to the bottle bank and post office. DS is now having a pre-nap snack so I've popped on here for a bit. I'm hoping that this afternoon he'll let me do the first draft of the final report for uni, but if not then when DH gets home he can take over and I'll go upstairs to work. It's due in at lunchtime tomorrow so he has no choice!

    I can't believe I'm still getting "morning" sickness at 20 weeks pregnant. Last time I was feeling amazing by 10 weeks. *sigh* I threw up my breakfast this morning, which I was most annoyed about because it's not very moneysaving!

    It'll be a NSD day today which is handy because DH has managed to take my money to work with him.

    And in FAB news, DH is getting a bonus this month (which was sort of expected as he's been working on a big project). I just need to work out how much it'll be after tax. It's handy because it covers the non-existent tax rebate, and hopefully a little bit more, but we'll see.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 6th Dec 17, 2:31 PM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    DS had a super long sleep on my arm and slept too late to give him lunch, so he's having some cereal. Top Mum Award. I got to chill out a bit and catch up on my telly though. Luckily I'd made tea in my flask so it was like having some child-free time, if you don't count the dead arm and background snoring music.

    I've just worked out that we should get £344.99 extra for DH's bonus, so it is definitely better than the tax rebate! I checked the tax calculator against his last pay check and it was only £4 out so fingers crossed.

    Started making a plan for the last bit of my assignment. Can you tell I really hate the report bits?! I'm procrastinating so much. Right, now to do the research. C'mon girl!
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 6th Dec 17, 4:55 PM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    So, who could have guessed that it's super hard to write a report when you have a toddler climbing all over you, pressing random buttons on the keyboard, driving a car over the keyboard/your leg/head, demanding different tv programs, crying for milk (?! WTH, he has it at bedtime, its not even 5pm and he only woke up 3 hours ago!), trying to jump off the arm of the sofa, losing toys under said sofa and having a meltdown?

    Anyway, I'm all researched and referenced. Just need to get my notes into some sort of sequence that makes sense. I'm stopping for now as I'm getting a headache and a bit too frustrated with the kiddo; who I must remember is just a baby that wants his mum's attention and that's not really too much for him to ask.

    I'll go and do the washing up, investigate what's for tea and get ready for DS's bedtime, so when DH gets home (could be anytime from now to an hour and a half from now) he is ready to take over and I can do a first draft.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 7th Dec 17, 8:01 AM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Last night didn't go especially to plan; DS managed to give himself not one, but two, eggs on his head. This is what happens when DH does bedtime, gets DS all hyped up, he runs in circles, trips over and smashes his head on something *insert eye roll emoji* He's fine, just a bit bruised this morning.

    I managed to finish my report, just went to bed a bit later than I'd hoped. DS had us up rather early this morning too, so I'm feeling a bit tired. I've just submitted my assignment so I'm trying to think of something fun and free to do with DS this morning as he's been a bit neglected, attention wise, this week. I think we'll do some baking this afternoon, and unfortunately I do have housework to do which I can't put off until tomorrow as we'll be out all day.

    The tax rebate has turned up so I've put it in a spare account, renamed 'tax rebate', but it's very tempting to make use of it, especially as we are behind on budgets. I'm going to see how we go, but it's there if I need it. It really makes no difference which account I transfer money from if we run out, as we'll have to pay it back somewhere, but psychologically it feels better not using the emergency fund!
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 7th Dec 17, 8:13 AM
    • 2,176 Posts
    • 10,303 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I'm sorry you're still suffering from morning sickness Pauper, I hated that feeling but it's all worth it when your beautiful baby is born .

    Great news that you've finished your assignment and about DH's bonus .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £181.63
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 7th Dec 17, 8:32 AM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Free/cheap activities with toddler

    Out and About
    Park
    Seaside
    Library (although I currently owe money so only once that's been paid!)
    Walk in the woods
    We have a museum pass so that is currently free for us (lots of outdoor space, a park, some animals)
    Feed the ducks
    Childrens centre

    At Home
    Painting
    Baking
    Make Christmas/birthday/thank you cards
    Gardening
    Make a fort

    Any other ideas? I think we're going to go to the museum this morning, as I'd forgotten about our pass haha

    Edit - ah, just looked outside and it's grey, checked the weather and it's supposed to rain all morning. Will switch around and do baking and housework this morning instead.
    Last edited by Pauper1; 07-12-2017 at 8:46 AM.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 7th Dec 17, 8:34 AM
    • 287 Posts
    • 2,352 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Thank you HHD! It's not every day so it could definitely be worse, but it just takes me by surprise! My friend is due in two weeks and has suffered all through her pregnancy, so it's right under my nose just how much worse it could be! Not literally under my nose...
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
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