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    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 26th Oct 17, 7:52 AM
    • 289Posts
    • 2,361Thanks
    Pauper1
    Are we nearly there yet?
    • #1
    • 26th Oct 17, 7:52 AM
    Are we nearly there yet? 26th Oct 17 at 7:52 AM
    I've been on these forums for nine years (according to all the messages I got from MSE Badger when I signed back in after a few years break), so it's been nine years that I've struggled with money. DH and I entered our 'living together life' with £2k worth of debt, and I remember thinking we'd never get out of it. It massively snowballed after we bought our house in 2010, especially when I became ill, and at our highest we owed nearly £40k.

    After we had our son, we were living in a 2 bed flat, without a garden, and no prospect of moving for years despite the fact we wanted another baby. Our DMP wasn't due to end until 2030something, when we'd be in our 40s. We spent a year or so weighing up the various options - not having another baby yet, me going back to work to pay it all off sooner, having another baby and dealing with the smallness of the house, IVA. In the end we decided to sell our house as it had gone up in value so much.

    Unfortunately we didn't make enough to pay it all off outright, so we're currently going through the settlement process with StepChange. We're making about a 58% offer I believe, but with supporting evidence as to why our income won't change in the foreseeable, so they are better off accepting the offer. It works in our favour that rent is so much more expensive than our mortgage, as our DFD based on the new DMP is 2044! Our debt advisor says they probably won't want to wait that long. I'm just waiting for my MH counsellor to send a letter about my PND that I can pass on to StepChange, and then the ball will get rolling.

    In the meantime, as our disposable income has dropped, I am focusing on spending less and trying to build up some savings. Once the debt is all settled, it will be about 4 years before the partial settlements/defaults drop off our credit file and we can think about buying again. So I will be trying to get a deposit together in those 4 years.

    We are due our second baby now in April, and I am working through my PND with a local counselling service. I will probably go back on the meds once baby is born, and then when it's about 2 (or before, if I'm going mad) I will try to find work to build up the savings even more. I'm also keeping busy with the OU.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
Page 4
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 1st Dec 17, 10:26 AM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,361 Thanks
    Pauper1
    December MSE Goals

    1. Have 10 NSDs
    2. Make £50 (sales/PA/SB etc)
    3. Meal plan every week
    4. Replenish batch cooked freezer meals

    December Personal Goals

    1. Wrap the presents
    2. Write cards in time to post!
    3. Think up some free/cheap Christmassy things to do with DS
    4. Clear out the "study" (cats' room)
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 1st Dec 17, 2:02 PM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,361 Thanks
    Pauper1
    We've had such a lovely, slow day today. Again, DS has watched a lot of telly but his cough has come back so keeping him still has been a bit of a priority. I've kept us washed, fed and clean, and that's about it.

    I have managed to work towards my December goals though, as I made an extra portion of pasta at lunch, which I will freeze for DH's lunches. He's definitely getting better at taking things to work, but if I have a secret stash of emergency lunches for days when he's "forgotten" then I can pre-empt his laziness. It's also just DS and I for tea, so I chucked a load of stuff in the slow cooker. I've made a huge amount so hopefully I'll get a couple of lunches from that too.

    I signed up for YNAB today. I wanted to do it ages ago but didn't want to pay. I found out earlier that they do a year's trial for students, so I whizzed off to do that.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 1st Dec 17, 2:45 PM
    • 630 Posts
    • 3,054 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Of course yes you won't be a first time buyer! I'm not sure if you could still open one though and just not claim the government bonus, I say this because they are one of the best interest rate savers I have found but there could be other regular saving accounts that are equally as good.
    Loan:1780.49 2207.38 Car Loan:2039.22 2419.64 0% CC:984.98 1063.48 Overdraft: 860 Overpayment:1781 Total: 7445.69 DFD Dec 18
    SPC 586
    • Lauralozzle
    • By Lauralozzle 2nd Dec 17, 3:42 PM
    • 476 Posts
    • 4,321 Thanks
    Lauralozzle
    Popping in to subscribe.

    You look like you’re doing well and are focussed at making things better and sorting the debt.
    December grocery challenge £136.56/£250 | December NSD 4/15
    Credit Card 1: £145 (0%) | Credit Card 2: £2,256.06 (0%) | Credit Card 3: £787.60 (0%) Car Finance: £7,865 (7.9% APR) | Mortgage: £111,363 (3.99% APR)
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 2nd Dec 17, 7:53 PM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,361 Thanks
    Pauper1
    YNAB is confusing me slightly, but I think it's mostly because of how I usually keep track of my budget. We use credit cards for groceries and petrol, and have two separate bank accounts that we transfer our budget for these to each month. Then as soon as we have spent the money on the card we transfer that amount from the relevant account to a different account called 'money for credit cards'. That way we know the credit card bills are covered, and how much budget is left per category. (I'm aware I have a ridiculous amount of accounts but I honestly find it easiest this way) Anyway, I'll get my head round it I'm sure.

    I had to buy a new phone today so we went to our local trade in place cos the man who runs it is so helpful. He gave us a discount so I could stick to my budget. Although to be fair I don't think I've ever paid full price for anything in there! I was a bit gutted to be moving more money from the emergency fund but DH said it could be my Xmas present from him, and I planned to adjust the standing order to put the money back in over the year. When we got home, he'd had a letter advising of a tax rebate, so that's covered! Plus my slight overspend that I mentioned the other day. Phew.

    I've also added another emergency DH lunch to the freezer as I made extra lasagne tonight. I was also sneaky and dished up slightly less than usual to DH (who always asks if there's any left, as he knows I tend to make some to freeze) so when he wanted more, I still had my portion to freeze! Win.

    Is anyone else having any problems with PA by the way? It loads the website but when I click on log in, it never loads
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 2nd Dec 17, 7:57 PM
    • 630 Posts
    • 3,054 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    PA is working for me. Well done on paying for your phone up front, it sounds like you have it all covered.
    Loan:1780.49 2207.38 Car Loan:2039.22 2419.64 0% CC:984.98 1063.48 Overdraft: 860 Overpayment:1781 Total: 7445.69 DFD Dec 18
    SPC 586
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 2nd Dec 17, 8:11 PM
    • 2,274 Posts
    • 11,057 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    It's great that two of your creditors have accepted you settlement offers . What percentage have you offered them?

    It is important to keep track of the little spends as they add up to a lot of money . I try and write on my DFW diary how much I spend each day to help me keep track. Also DH and I don't have any credit cards and we try to use mainly cash which helps to keep down our spending.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 3rd Dec 17, 9:11 AM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,361 Thanks
    Pauper1
    It's great that two of your creditors have accepted you settlement offers . What percentage have you offered them?

    It is important to keep track of the little spends as they add up to a lot of money . I try and write on my DFW diary how much I spend each day to help me keep track. Also DH and I don't have any credit cards and we try to use mainly cash which helps to keep down our spending.
    Originally posted by HairyHandofDartmoor
    They've accepted 58% which the debt advisor said was quite low and did say that they wouldn't expect all of them to accept it. Most have come back with counter offers of around 80%. The biggest debt has asked for evidence of where the money has come from, so hopefully they're only doing that because they are seriously considering accepting the offer.

    I definitely do need to keep a record of what we are spending. I think I managed to yesterday, and today should be low/no spend.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Lauralozzle
    • By Lauralozzle 3rd Dec 17, 9:46 AM
    • 476 Posts
    • 4,321 Thanks
    Lauralozzle
    Good job on the sneaky lasagne portions. The things we have to do to get bits in the freezer. Might have to think of that myself.

    Yey! Tax rebate. Things are looking on the up.

    Keeping a record of what we spend is really important and is my biggest downfall.

    I hope you can get good settlement offers with the others debtors - 58% is amazing!
    December grocery challenge £136.56/£250 | December NSD 4/15
    Credit Card 1: £145 (0%) | Credit Card 2: £2,256.06 (0%) | Credit Card 3: £787.60 (0%) Car Finance: £7,865 (7.9% APR) | Mortgage: £111,363 (3.99% APR)
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 3rd Dec 17, 9:49 AM
    • 2,274 Posts
    • 11,057 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Asking where the money has come from is a good sign. Lots of our creditors asked questions before they said yes. They all wanted to know where the money had come from and they all wanted to know that we had offered all of our creditors the same percentage.

    One of them said no, asked a couple of questions on the phone and then said yes. Another said no, asked for medical evidence, and once they got that wanted copies of acceptance letters from our other creditors, and finally said yes .

    The longer it will take to pay the debts off through a DMP, the more likely they are to say yes. It is a bit of a stressful process, I found it stressful anyway, but definitely worth it in the end. Good luck .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 3rd Dec 17, 11:29 AM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,361 Thanks
    Pauper1
    LauraLozzle 58% *is* really good I know, but some of them we've been paying for years (probably at least 5 years for most of them, longer for others) so had already managed to pay about 30%. With the 58% settlement they'd have received around 71% of the total debt.

    Plus a few of them have added on such huge amounts of interests and charges over the years so I've no doubt that they would actually be getting 100% of what we originally borrowed anyway. Haha. Sorry, that turned in to a bit of a rant!

    HairyHandOfDartmoor The letter that Stepchange sent to them all showed the breakdown and the medical stuff, so hopefully that bit is covered. But I am taking them asking for more info as a good sign! Our DMP is currently due to take 45 years I believe and one of the creditors that said an outright no is literally getting pence a month for a £50 debt...

    How strange that one of yours wanted proof that others had accepted - I can't see the reasoning behind that one really!
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 3rd Dec 17, 11:49 AM
    • 2,274 Posts
    • 11,057 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Maybe they thought if all the others had said yes then it proved what a hopeless case we were and that they'd have zero chance of getting their money any other way, which is the truth .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 4th Dec 17, 1:58 PM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,361 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Yesterday was a NSD as I was feeling rubbish so we didn't actually leave the house at all, just watched a lot of Christmas films and made a roast.

    This morning was a bit spendy -
    £20 diesel which should last me a while (The last £20 only did 157 miles, which I don't think is great, and was only just over a week... I think. I'm glad I've written down when I've topped up as that'll help me get a better idea of how much fuel budget I need),
    £22.86 grocery spend (quite a lot on milk to be honest, but that *might* last us until our Amazon delivery comes, and then a few snacky bits for lunches),
    £5 on our toddler group Christmas party, which I agreed to go to ages ago. (DS fell asleep saying "fun party" so I guess it was worth it <3 )

    DH annoyed me this morning, well actually most of the weekend, but he came home early on Friday and saw me squirrel away a portion of stew. So he didn't bother making any lunch for today as he was just going to take that instead. I know it was kind of the point of the emergency lunches but if he takes them all before, you know, just making a sandwich then we're out of lunches by Wednesday. SO he made a 'butter sandwich' and then went and left it on the stairs. Gah. DS and I went to Asda super early before the party to buy him a whole load of lunch stuff to keep at work, and then took that and his delicious 'butter sandwiches' to him. He's definitely going to sabotage this money saving mission, unless I think for him, which isn't really fair. My brain is full enough.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 4th Dec 17, 2:38 PM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,361 Thanks
    Pauper1
    I've just snuck a couple of pots of sausage rolls in to the freezer to build up my emergency lunch stash. DH definitely doesn't know about those!

    DS is just finishing up his lunch and then we'll crack on with some housework. I've had to put the heating on.... only to dry the washing, of course, and not because I'm cold...
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 4th Dec 17, 2:40 PM
    • 630 Posts
    • 3,054 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Have you sat down and had a chat with DH recently? Make sure you are both still on the same page? It is hard when you feel like you're doing everything you can but then having other things come along to stop you or slow you down.
    Loan:1780.49 2207.38 Car Loan:2039.22 2419.64 0% CC:984.98 1063.48 Overdraft: 860 Overpayment:1781 Total: 7445.69 DFD Dec 18
    SPC 586
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 4th Dec 17, 3:16 PM
    • 130 Posts
    • 879 Thanks
    Chrystal
    Have you sat down and had a chat with DH recently? Make sure you are both still on the same page? It is hard when you feel like you're doing everything you can but then having other things come along to stop you or slow you down.
    Originally posted by DebtFreeDuo
    Totally agree with this... it's time he woke up and smelled the coffee! Mind you I'm convinced that regardless of their bodies growing up most male minds stick at around 7 years of age and never progress any further!
    Have you tried making him do his lunch the night before? If carrots won't work you'll have to use a stick!
    GC. Oct.17 = £261.18/ £300 = + £38.82 NSDs 20/31
    GC. Sept.17 = £354.89/£300 = - £54.39

    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 4th Dec 17, 4:08 PM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,361 Thanks
    Pauper1
    Ah, not really. Things are a bit weird at the moment, both a bit tired and stressed I think, so he tends to take things very personally if I bring up anything he's not doing "perfectly". When DS was about 6 weeks old he had to have time off for stress and he was supposed to self-refer to a stress management course, but he never did. I've nagged him a few times since then with no joy. DS is now 2 years old. I've also mentioned counselling, either just him or together, but that's never come to anything either.

    He was also supposed to go back to his GP after an endoscopy about 4 or 5 years ago, but never did. He has previous, so it's not a new thing! It's really frustrating because I can't force him to deal with any of this.

    I think the next time DS is at my mum's overnight we'll have a night in and make some plans/goals/have a chat. He's a lot calmer when DS isn't around.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 4th Dec 17, 4:21 PM
    • 130 Posts
    • 879 Thanks
    Chrystal
    Sounds like you've got your work cut out there - hope things start to improve for you both. X
    GC. Oct.17 = £261.18/ £300 = + £38.82 NSDs 20/31
    GC. Sept.17 = £354.89/£300 = - £54.39

    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 4th Dec 17, 8:14 PM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,361 Thanks
    Pauper1
    I'm really getting the hang of this batch cooking thing - I made shepherdless pie for tea tonight, and have got an extra dinner for the three of us and an Emergency DH Lunch out of it as well. My freezer is going to be bursting!

    Sounds like DH is having some difficulties putting DS down for the night so I am expecting to be pulled away any second.
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 8:24 PM
    • 2,274 Posts
    • 11,057 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Mind you I'm convinced that regardless of their bodies growing up most male minds stick at around 7 years of age and never progress any further!
    Originally posted by Chrystal
    I have to agree with this sometimes
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
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