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  • FIRST POST
    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 22nd Oct 17, 11:57 PM
    • 279Posts
    • 515Thanks
    camz2017
    Paying off debt to freedom
    • #1
    • 22nd Oct 17, 11:57 PM
    Paying off debt to freedom 22nd Oct 17 at 11:57 PM
    Started my debt free diary, 31k in the red. The way I see it, the sooner I can become debt free the sooner I can live my life.

    I am starting this diary as I have always kept my debt to myself, and I split with the girl I am seeing today... I think all of my debt and worries have meant I just ignored her, I feel bad I have literally said almost zero to her for the past 3 or 4 weeks, blanking her messages just thinking of my own mess. I was unsure how to tell her what is going on so I got kinda messy and couldn't explain myself and she naturally assumed I was hiding something and jumped to I have cheated...

    Had a huge argument where she told me I encourage women to throw themselves at me and I am a psychopath, I'm a sociopath, and a horrible human being with no conscience guilt, can't remember what else, but basically told me I'm a horrible human being. I mean I can be an !!! at times, and I am quite nasty if I'm moody, but I do really care about those around me I feel sad my debt has caused this for me, as I'd have been fine otherwise. Amazing eh how debt can impact so much.

    Anyway, felt like time to get my stuff together, get a diary going and vent out a little bit.

    I imported all my spending for the past 4 months into YNAB, and it was frankly disgusting how I spent over £80 a month on fast food alone! So bad for my budget, and also my health! Likewise I spent £109 on average per month dining out!!! I have done a budget for next month, where I have said no fast food, and halved my dining out (with a view to phase out). I just think I am best to tackle one problem area per month, whilst keeping myself on budget and not going over into more debt. If I go crazy all at once, I know me, I will break everything and go wild.
    Last edited by camz2017; 23-10-2017 at 12:00 AM.
Page 14
    • natsplatnat
    • By natsplatnat 10th Jan 18, 9:26 AM
    • 2,714 Posts
    • 2,431 Thanks
    natsplatnat
    How do you tell someone nicely that you donít wanna see them?!
    Originally posted by camz2017

    Just by explaining your reasons; like "I've got a potentially horrendous day ahead of me tomorrow, I'm a bit tired after hanging out over the weekend (which was great!) and I just need to get some sleep so tomorrow is bearable."


    What you are waiting for her to apologise for?


    Glad your new recruits sound okay - how nice are you organising pizza and drinks? Definitely some good karma points in your favour as I bet it made their first day a bit nicer!


    You could share some of the chocolate and snacks with your house-mates and earn some more good karma points! ?
    LBM ,- Wed 19th Nov 2008 £21,225 PAID OFF
    *DEBT FREE 28th September 2015*
    *2017 cashback pending £175.35, paid £??*
    (2011=£137.30, 12=£66.39, 13=£102.61, 14=£214.97, 15=£159.51 16=£213.05) 17= to be calculated
    Pro.Ac £12.81 + £126.19 paid
    SAVINGS TO CLEAR STUDENT LOAN £0.00 (£528.56 paid off)

    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 10th Jan 18, 9:51 AM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    She got all crazy for me asking for one night alone, she can apologise for that. & I don’t need a reason to want some personal space, the reason is I want some personal space. My personal time is important to me sometimes, not a lot of the time, just sometimes, she needs to respect that.

    I hate my housemate she always moans. Literally hate the girl. She sends like 10 complaint texts a day, she has issues... The other ones nice but she’s away - so all mine! I would rather pour acid in my eyes than share anything with said housemate.
    • natsplatnat
    • By natsplatnat 10th Jan 18, 10:20 AM
    • 2,714 Posts
    • 2,431 Thanks
    natsplatnat
    She got all crazy for me asking for one night alone, she can apologise for that. & I donít need a reason to want some personal space, the reason is I want some personal space. My personal time is important to me sometimes, not a lot of the time, just sometimes, she needs to respect that.
    Originally posted by camz2017

    It could be hard for her to 'respect that' if she isn't certain of why you don't want to see her. Early days of a relationship, emotions running high on cloud 9 and then boom - "not tonight thanks!" If she isn't aware that personal time is important to you, you might want to let her know asap to reduce the risk of this happening again. I'm sure she'll be fine knowing you want / need personal time and its not you just going cold on her (although if you are going cold on her be nice and let her know sooner rather than later!) Finally, she may not realise you are expecting an apology as she may think her reaction was justified.


    Oh, and re: your house-mate... it is doing nice things for people you like least that gain you the most good karma points!
    LBM ,- Wed 19th Nov 2008 £21,225 PAID OFF
    *DEBT FREE 28th September 2015*
    *2017 cashback pending £175.35, paid £??*
    (2011=£137.30, 12=£66.39, 13=£102.61, 14=£214.97, 15=£159.51 16=£213.05) 17= to be calculated
    Pro.Ac £12.81 + £126.19 paid
    SAVINGS TO CLEAR STUDENT LOAN £0.00 (£528.56 paid off)

    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 10th Jan 18, 10:45 AM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    We can agree to disagree.

    & re the housemate, sheís on a diet and is like quite big, so technically Iím doing her a favour.
    • Scott_Weiland
    • By Scott_Weiland 10th Jan 18, 11:17 AM
    • 736 Posts
    • 1,836 Thanks
    Scott_Weiland
    Alone time is important i can understand that i started seeing someone in october/november who i split with quite quickly when she started to randomly appear at mine during my alone time. Then she randomly did the same when i was finishing work she met Elbow quite quick.

    How big is the dieting housemate?
    Cashback Earnings YTD £8.25 Survey Earnings YTD £38.38
    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 10th Jan 18, 3:19 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    I should have used the term dieting loosely, more serial deliveroo user less dieter. Certainly doesn’t need anything extra... Maybe if she wasn’t such a disgusting human being she wouldn’t feel the need to stuff her face with comfort food as people would actually like her.

    Anyway, got a meeting with work this week to negotiate my US numbers, super excited for that.
    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 10th Jan 18, 4:17 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    I mean disgusting re personality, just to clarify. No issue with fat people if they’re nice.
    • EscapingTheAlarm
    • By EscapingTheAlarm 10th Jan 18, 4:47 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 192 Thanks
    EscapingTheAlarm
    Good luck in your meeting Camz, I hope they give you a great offer!
    ETA x
    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 10th Jan 18, 4:49 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    Me too I just wish they had kept me more in the loop!!!

    If it’s below what I’m after I will pushback and refuse, given they’ve spent a bunch on the immigration experts already I feel I can have some leverage.
    • natsplatnat
    • By natsplatnat 10th Jan 18, 5:05 PM
    • 2,714 Posts
    • 2,431 Thanks
    natsplatnat
    Anyway, got a meeting with work this week to negotiate my US numbers, super excited for that.
    Originally posted by camz2017


    Exciting!
    LBM ,- Wed 19th Nov 2008 £21,225 PAID OFF
    *DEBT FREE 28th September 2015*
    *2017 cashback pending £175.35, paid £??*
    (2011=£137.30, 12=£66.39, 13=£102.61, 14=£214.97, 15=£159.51 16=£213.05) 17= to be calculated
    Pro.Ac £12.81 + £126.19 paid
    SAVINGS TO CLEAR STUDENT LOAN £0.00 (£528.56 paid off)

    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 10th Jan 18, 7:38 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    Girlfriend said word for word:

    “I fword hate you, I didn’t realise I was in a relationship with a narcasist.”
    Then she said she wants to talk to me so said sorry.

    So I told her to say it like she means it hahahaha... anyway she called me so we’re talking again.

    Told her I’m usually called a sociopath or a psychopath but narcasist is a refreshing change.

    Gonna have to research what that one means fully.

    Anyway meeting her Friday, she said her family gets Chinese on Fridays, I love Chinese
    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 10th Jan 18, 7:43 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    Lol she just said “you have tall man syndrome, you think because you’re taller than everyone you’re better than them.” Cutting me deep now isn’t she?
    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 10th Jan 18, 10:16 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    Women are weird at times, she called me and said she thinks I love myself too much to love anyone else, erm ok, & that I think Iím better than everyone. She said she thinks Iím super controlling... Weird chat for like 10 straight minutes she just basically listed reasons for disliking me. I didnít have much to say fully expected her to be like this ainít gonna work out, I think all I said was ďrightĒ between each thing lol... & then she was like Iím reply surprised you havenít kicked off, well I canít really change her opinions and Iím not about to try and like pretend Iím crazy nice or whatever, thatís just fake. So I said that, then she was all ďitís weird Iím strangely attracted to youĒ and basically was like see you Friday. Lol, what the hell... like if you donít think Iím a nice guy why you wanting to see me Friday. Meh, love and relationships make zero sense. I think sheís attracted to how much of a douche I am in a way. Whatever Iím quite liking having someone around so im gonna just play it cool.

    On another note just realised bonuses are paid in 6 weeks.
    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 11th Jan 18, 12:27 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    This morning I was on the tube and thought someone went in my pockets of my massive long coat, kinda looked around realised I had my phone and didn’t think too much.

    Got to the tube station at work my wallet was gone, along with £120 I had in there which was my weekly budget.

    Just feeling really sad. Got myself a coffee which was counter productive but had like £4 in coins. Rang all the banks got everything closed down, my wallet was really nice also was like £70.
    • Mumoffourkids
    • By Mumoffourkids 11th Jan 18, 12:30 PM
    • 268 Posts
    • 939 Thanks
    Mumoffourkids
    Oh no that's awful Camz. I am really paranoid about things in my pockets and tend to keep my hands in my pockets in case I lose anything.

    What a horrible start to the day for you.
    Total debt Dec 2017 £20607.44/£23090.83 10.75% paid
    Debt no 1 £0/£593.29 paid Jan 2018 ~ Emergency fund £337.50/£600
    PAYDOBX2018 #97 £2524.42/£12,000 ~ Make £10 a day #16 £98.88/£62
    20p savers 2018 #95
    NSD Jan 2018 2/12
    • natsplatnat
    • By natsplatnat 11th Jan 18, 1:17 PM
    • 2,714 Posts
    • 2,431 Thanks
    natsplatnat
    Got to the tube station at work my wallet was gone, along with £120 I had in there which was my weekly budget
    Originally posted by camz2017

    Oh No! That's terrible news!! What a cr4ppy thing to happen!
    LBM ,- Wed 19th Nov 2008 £21,225 PAID OFF
    *DEBT FREE 28th September 2015*
    *2017 cashback pending £175.35, paid £??*
    (2011=£137.30, 12=£66.39, 13=£102.61, 14=£214.97, 15=£159.51 16=£213.05) 17= to be calculated
    Pro.Ac £12.81 + £126.19 paid
    SAVINGS TO CLEAR STUDENT LOAN £0.00 (£528.56 paid off)

    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 11th Jan 18, 7:01 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    As the day has gone on I've developed the worse headache and blocked sinuses. Just ready to leave the office now, feel like garbage.... I actually can't bail tomorrow on the gf given this whole situation, so no matter how I feel tomorrow I've gotta be at work and spend the evening with her. I just feel really low about things right now, like I loved my wallet it was a gift to myself as I got a pay-rise... I wouldn't normally buy myself an expensive one. I usually feel guilty treating myself to expensive things but when I got it, it felt justified and I felt good about it. It had a really cool interior which I had seen a few months before, and I got it specially ordered in, remember being really excited about the inside being like a cool pattern. It has a zipper for my change too, dunno it felt like something special. I'm more upset losing the wallet than the money at this stage.

    Also I'm now going to feel guilty spending any money as I'm basically over budget this month now. Bit of a cr*p start to the year if I'm honest.
    • timetobefrugal
    • By timetobefrugal 12th Jan 18, 11:19 AM
    • 77 Posts
    • 212 Thanks
    timetobefrugal
    Camz - a lot of us women have this weird attraction to the 'bad boys' (or f*ck boys if you're under 30) heaven knows why!

    Sorry to hear about the wallet, don't feel too bad, as we all know we can budget to our heart's content but unexpected things happen, that's life!

    Enjoy the weekend and be nice to the gf
    Debt Total October 2017 £20,511.27
    • camz2017
    • By camz2017 12th Jan 18, 12:30 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 515 Thanks
    camz2017
    I honestly have found when I’m nice to women they take advantage of me, when I’m totally awful they try everything to make me happy. How messed up is the world that men learn being wan*ers is the way to happiness?

    Got my offer through, 77,000 USD plus 7000 bonus annually. Number wise it feels good!!! No idea of costs of living etc but will soon find out.
    • natsplatnat
    • By natsplatnat 12th Jan 18, 12:35 PM
    • 2,714 Posts
    • 2,431 Thanks
    natsplatnat
    Got my offer through, 77,000 USD plus 7000 bonus annually. Number wise it feels good!!! No idea of costs of living etc but will soon find out.
    Originally posted by camz2017

    Don't forget to factor in Insurances in USA (if the company doesn't cover them!) - they can be a financial killer to a budget!
    LBM ,- Wed 19th Nov 2008 £21,225 PAID OFF
    *DEBT FREE 28th September 2015*
    *2017 cashback pending £175.35, paid £??*
    (2011=£137.30, 12=£66.39, 13=£102.61, 14=£214.97, 15=£159.51 16=£213.05) 17= to be calculated
    Pro.Ac £12.81 + £126.19 paid
    SAVINGS TO CLEAR STUDENT LOAN £0.00 (£528.56 paid off)

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