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  • FIRST POST
    • Jones254
    • By Jones254 9th Oct 17, 11:21 PM
    • 1Posts
    • 1Thanks
    Jones254
    Cohabiting
    • #1
    • 9th Oct 17, 11:21 PM
    Cohabiting 9th Oct 17 at 11:21 PM
    Hello guys, just wanting some other people's opinions on this situation...

    I am a home owner and have been for 5 years. My boyfriend (4 years) moved in at the beginning of the year and we agreed that he would pay £250 rent to contribute to bills etc which was a lot cheaper than what he previously paid when he rented a flat.

    In total my monthly outgoings are just under 700 a month (bills, mortgage, insurances etc) on top of this I pay for all house maintenance, repair, renovation, household items (all appliances, furniture and furnishings)etc (the home is being fully renovated) my boyfriend will not assist with any of this even if something breaks he will leave it. I also recently had all of the doors replaced and he has not assisted with the painting of these doors leaving it all to me in very black and white terms saying he is just a lodger and the landlord would do all this if he was in a private rented place.

    I had a smart meter fitted recently and my boyfriend is questioning me about bills, he is saying he thinks it's unfair that he has to pay me 250 a month as his calculation and how often he uses things do not equate to this amount and he says he should pay 150 instead and he does not think it is right that I make money from him. I have explained to him that the smart meter shows actual usage but I pay a monthly flat rate as per contact and that there are the rent fees also with gas and electric but he thinks I'm lying.

    It making me sad but also confused, he is mentioning this often but In my opinion 250 was fair considering I sort out everything and he does nothing. It was also an agreement made prior to him moving in.

    I have also let him have an entire room for himself only as he likes his own space and let him have the shed as he wanted to store a lot of things (it's now full so I cannot store anything in it)

    In terms of income we have exactly the same wage as we have the same job!

    We also pay personal bills separate such as our car insurance etc.

    Am i missing something here? What do other people do?
Page 4
    • -taff
    • By -taff 11th Oct 17, 11:29 PM
    • 7,172 Posts
    • 5,162 Thanks
    -taff
    If he's moning about it, he's more than wlecome to buy his own place and you can go and live with him and pay 250 while you rent yours out.
    • Plush
    • By Plush 11th Oct 17, 11:38 PM
    • 82 Posts
    • 193 Thanks
    Plush
    (the home is being fully renovated) my boyfriend will not assist with any of this even if something breaks he will leave it.

    ...
    he is saying he thinks it's unfair that he has to pay me 250 a month as his calculation and how often he uses things do not equate to this amount and he says he should pay 150 instead and he does not think it is right that I make money from him.
    Originally posted by Jones254
    PS. And this would make me leave him instantly. Petty soul..
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 12th Oct 17, 4:33 AM
    • 16,135 Posts
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    FBaby
    I still don't get why someone should live for free while someone else has to pay.
    The problem here is that either one will benefit from the position of the other, so the question is who does. Her as she gets him to pay towards her investment, which she would have to pay on her own if it wasn't for him leaving with her, or him because he gets cheaper rent than what he would have to pay if he wasn't with her.

    So it's not a matter of how you look at it financially but you look at it emotionally, and even then there is no right or wrong but the need of both to be on the same page. Clearly they are not as she is keen on keep getting rent from him whilst he is getting tired of paying towards an investment he knows he'll get nothing out of. The issue is time now, as having been together 4 years, leaving together 12 months, it is time to decide if the dynamics remain the same, which he doesn't seem happy with, or they move on to the next stage of commitment.

    Either way, I very much doubt they will remain a couple for long if nothing evolves.
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 12th Oct 17, 9:38 AM
    • 1,465 Posts
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    Izadora
    The problem here is that either one will benefit from the position of the other, so the question is who does.
    Originally posted by FBaby
    I would've thought a fair way to look at it would be to make sure that they both benefit.

    If you take half of the cost of all bills, excluding mortgage, and the rate for a room (inclusive of bills) and split the difference they both benefit.

    e.g. If bills are £200 (£100 each) and to rent a room would be £400 then split the £300 difference between his share and what he'd pay elsewhere and they're both £150 a month better off.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Oct 17, 9:48 AM
    • 1,315 Posts
    • 1,066 Thanks
    Comms69
    Indeed, well worth 200 quid for peace of mind in my book. .
    Originally posted by bugslet


    Sure, but the point is my claim could have zero merit and yet you've had to spend money on it.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 12th Oct 17, 9:50 AM
    • 1,315 Posts
    • 1,066 Thanks
    Comms69
    In that scenario you'd hope they would split utilities and council tax. I certainly don't get why anyone would charge a love interest rent.
    Originally posted by bugslet
    But that's exactly what we're discussing.


    The money the OP would take in mortgage payments would be going directly into her pocket via an asset.
    • indiepanda
    • By indiepanda 12th Oct 17, 12:15 PM
    • 965 Posts
    • 6,439 Thanks
    indiepanda
    I would've thought a fair way to look at it would be to make sure that they both benefit.

    If you take half of the cost of all bills, excluding mortgage, and the rate for a room (inclusive of bills) and split the difference they both benefit.

    e.g. If bills are £200 (£100 each) and to rent a room would be £400 then split the £300 difference between his share and what he'd pay elsewhere and they're both £150 a month better off.
    Originally posted by Izadora
    Even sharing bills, she is better off - I know from having a lodger my bills went up a bit - e.g. gas up because we were using more hot water, electric up because we ran the washing machine more often, lost the single person discount on council tax. However, many bills unchanged - sky, phone line, tv licence, water (as I am not metered), broadband etc. Overall I reckon the bills went up by no more than 20% so on that basis sharing them with someone else would mean they cost 120% of what they did before, but I would only be paying 60% of what I used to pay. Food costs definitely go down per person if you cook together too - it's more efficient given typical package sizes, food wastage is more when you are on your own unless you are a brilliant planner (I am not).

    My lodger ended up benefiting living with me versus renting a one bed flat on her own, but ultimately I was making a profit out of her - was a commercial arrangement. I wouldn't expect the same from a romantic partner. Maybe an understanding that they would use their savings from not paying rent to save up towards one day buying somewhere together... but even then if we split I doubt I would expect them to share that money.

    If the OP really needs the money then maybe she should rent out the room the boyfriend has to himself to a lodger instead.
    Last edited by indiepanda; 12-10-2017 at 12:26 PM.
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 12th Oct 17, 12:55 PM
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    Izadora
    Even sharing bills, she is better off
    Originally posted by indiepanda
    Not as much better off as he is though.

    It's also not a commercial arrangement as he's her boyfriend rather than a lodger, therefore splitting costs 50/50 seemed the fairer thing to do. Even if you took his starting point as the 20% cost-increase to bills then there'd still be quite a saving if he put in half the difference between that and the cost of renting somewhere else.

    Food costs definitely go down per person if you cook together too
    Originally posted by indiepanda
    Not always, my food budget would be about 1/3 of what it currently is if it was just me. Admittedly that's partly because my husband eats meat and I don't but it's also because if he goes shopping he'll pick the most expensive thing, thinking that means it'll be the best quality, whereas I will pick the best value for money.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 12th Oct 17, 4:25 PM
    • 16,135 Posts
    • 40,037 Thanks
    FBaby
    e.g. If bills are £200 (£100 each) and to rent a room would be £400 then split the £300 difference between his share and what he'd pay elsewhere and they're both £150 a month better off.
    You haven't taken account the biggest saving, the growth in equity from the ownership of the property.
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 12th Oct 17, 6:32 PM
    • 1,465 Posts
    • 4,205 Thanks
    Izadora
    You haven't taken account the biggest saving, the growth in equity from the ownership of the property.
    Originally posted by FBaby
    That's going to happen whether he's paying 50p or £500 a month to her though, I was talking purely about what they have available to them on a month-to-month basis.
    • leslieknope
    • By leslieknope 12th Oct 17, 6:37 PM
    • 314 Posts
    • 468 Thanks
    leslieknope
    Presumably you aren't sleeping with the owner though....
    Originally posted by Comms69
    he made it clear that he sees this as a lodger arrangement (with added benefits for him) and any lodger landlord would charge you for that extra storage space!
    CCCC #33: £42/£240
    DFW: £4355/£4405
    • Plush
    • By Plush 12th Oct 17, 8:04 PM
    • 82 Posts
    • 193 Thanks
    Plush
    You haven't taken account the biggest saving, the growth in equity from the ownership of the property.
    Originally posted by FBaby
    That's not certain. With any property purchase there is a risk of going into negative equity and losing money.

    I really strongly believe that - as long as they keep separate accounts and finances - they should share 50-50% all housing costs (excluding renovation and improvements). They are better off financially, both of them. If the relationship breaks down they'll both be happy they kept it like that (and again, both saved some money while together).

    If it doesn't break down, then the money he paid her "in rent" went towards the equity of a property they both will use (instead of his money going to another landlord), so he still benefits financially - much more than her, she contributed all the purchase costs, the renovation, extra mortgage payments etc.

    She did make a mistake though - she agreed to less than half when he moved in. And now he's questioning even what they agreed upfront.

    Greedy douche bag.
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