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  • FIRST POST
    • Jones254
    • By Jones254 9th Oct 17, 11:21 PM
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    Jones254
    Cohabiting
    • #1
    • 9th Oct 17, 11:21 PM
    Cohabiting 9th Oct 17 at 11:21 PM
    Hello guys, just wanting some other people's opinions on this situation...

    I am a home owner and have been for 5 years. My boyfriend (4 years) moved in at the beginning of the year and we agreed that he would pay £250 rent to contribute to bills etc which was a lot cheaper than what he previously paid when he rented a flat.

    In total my monthly outgoings are just under 700 a month (bills, mortgage, insurances etc) on top of this I pay for all house maintenance, repair, renovation, household items (all appliances, furniture and furnishings)etc (the home is being fully renovated) my boyfriend will not assist with any of this even if something breaks he will leave it. I also recently had all of the doors replaced and he has not assisted with the painting of these doors leaving it all to me in very black and white terms saying he is just a lodger and the landlord would do all this if he was in a private rented place.

    I had a smart meter fitted recently and my boyfriend is questioning me about bills, he is saying he thinks it's unfair that he has to pay me 250 a month as his calculation and how often he uses things do not equate to this amount and he says he should pay 150 instead and he does not think it is right that I make money from him. I have explained to him that the smart meter shows actual usage but I pay a monthly flat rate as per contact and that there are the rent fees also with gas and electric but he thinks I'm lying.

    It making me sad but also confused, he is mentioning this often but In my opinion 250 was fair considering I sort out everything and he does nothing. It was also an agreement made prior to him moving in.

    I have also let him have an entire room for himself only as he likes his own space and let him have the shed as he wanted to store a lot of things (it's now full so I cannot store anything in it)

    In terms of income we have exactly the same wage as we have the same job!

    We also pay personal bills separate such as our car insurance etc.

    Am i missing something here? What do other people do?
Page 3
    • bugslet
    • By bugslet 11th Oct 17, 1:31 PM
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    bugslet
    Actually he owes whatever the OP decides. If he doesn't like that, then she can either reduce the charge or face losing the income, and he can decided if whatever rate it is, is better than what he can get elsewhere and if not leave.

    Kind of depends where in the country they live as well.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 11th Oct 17, 1:37 PM
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    Comms69
    Actually he owes whatever the OP decides. If he doesn't like that, then she can either reduce the charge or face losing the income, and he can decided if whatever rate it is, is better than what he can get elsewhere and if not leave.

    Kind of depends where in the country they live as well.
    Originally posted by bugslet


    By that logic, if she asked for £10k and he gave it to her, you don't think that would amount to a beneficial interest?


    The whole point here is to protect the OP and her investment. But charging more than half of the costs, she could be open to a legal struggle down the line.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 11th Oct 17, 1:45 PM
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    FBaby
    The whole point here is to protect the OP and her investment.
    Yes, and it sounds like he is starting to realise this. I expect he'll be the one walking out shortly. Sometimes it's better to pay more than to be taken for a fool! 4 years is a long time to still being considered nothing more than a lodger at the end of it.
    • bugslet
    • By bugslet 11th Oct 17, 1:51 PM
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    bugslet
    By that logic, if she asked for £10k and he gave it to her, you don't think that would amount to a beneficial interest?


    The whole point here is to protect the OP and her investment. But charging more than half of the costs, she could be open to a legal struggle down the line.
    Originally posted by Comms69
    Maybe, that would be interesting in court, but I think the reality is wildly different, he's going to take the moving on option.

    Going back to reality, at the moment I don't think she has much to worry about in terms of protecting her investment.

    Going by my example, with a far greater time period than the OPs, he might and only might, have got some money.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 11th Oct 17, 2:03 PM
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    Comms69
    Maybe, that would be interesting in court, but I think the reality is wildly different, he's going to take the moving on option. - I don't see why his behaviour is so offensive though

    Going back to reality, at the moment I don't think she has much to worry about in terms of protecting her investment. - No, at the minute it seems to be perfectly sound

    Going by my example, with a far greater time period than the OPs, he might and only might, have got some money.
    Originally posted by bugslet

    Just to be clear, that was just the opinion of the solicitor.... You never actually did the whole court thing



    Sometimes it's not about the money won, but the money lost by the other side.


    If I issued court papers and you didn't have a clue, you may go to a solicitor, who would charge you £200 to file a defence.


    I simply withdraw my claim (total cost so far is around £35) and you are left £200 down. You cannot reclaim that from me.
    • Slinky
    • By Slinky 11th Oct 17, 2:34 PM
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    Slinky
    £315 - yep fine with me
    £200 - bit high, but sure
    £45 - storage - no, they're living as one household.


    So he owes £7.50
    Originally posted by Comms69
    The OP said he has his own room within the house as he 'likes his own space' (doesn't sound like 'one household') plus sole use of the shed.

    We recently rented a cubic meter sized cupboard at a storage unit. That was £8+VAT per week.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 11th Oct 17, 2:37 PM
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    Comms69
    The OP said he has his own room within the house as he 'likes his own space' (doesn't sound like 'one household') plus sole use of the shed. - What like a home office or a man cave? Never heard of either of those?

    We recently rented a cubic meter sized cupboard at a storage unit. That was £8+VAT per week.
    Originally posted by Slinky


    Presumably you aren't sleeping with the owner though....
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 11th Oct 17, 3:32 PM
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    Fireflyaway
    If you earn the same and are sharing the same house and bills it makes sense to me to split it equally. The way I see it is its probably cheaper than him renting elsewhere and if the house is mortgaged, you are sort of renting it off the bank. Its not as if you are personally pocketing his rent. He sounds ungrateful.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 11th Oct 17, 3:37 PM
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    Comms69
    If you earn the same and are sharing the same house and bills it makes sense to me to split it equally. The way I see it is its probably cheaper than him renting elsewhere and if the house is mortgaged, you are sort of renting it off the bank. - no you aren't... Its not as if you are personally pocketing his rent. He sounds ungrateful.
    Originally posted by Fireflyaway
    And yes that is exactly it, she is pocketing his money to pay her debts.


    Literally putting money into the property in the form of equity.
    • pollyanna24
    • By pollyanna24 11th Oct 17, 3:40 PM
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    pollyanna24
    I don't understand this, that's not fair, attitude.
    Originally posted by Comms69
    Maybe I'm thinking about it from the point of view that I have my own house that I have worked hard for and am struggling to pay for (why did I buy it? Cos I bought it with an ex 11 years ago and he left me with small children, so situations change).

    If I had someone move in with me and they expected to live with me for free when I can barely keep the house over my head, I think I would resent them.

    At the same time, I wouldn't want them to have a claim on my house as I've had it for so long and I know that relationships don't always last the course.
    Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
    House Worth (approx) - £400,000
    Mortgages (3rd Nov 2017) - £180,813.85
    Equity - £219,186.15
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 11th Oct 17, 3:51 PM
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    Comms69
    Maybe I'm thinking about it from the point of view that I have my own house that I have worked hard for and am struggling to pay for (why did I buy it? Cos I bought it with an ex 11 years ago and he left me with small children, so situations change). - So you'd like someone to pay for it for you?

    If I had someone move in with me and they expected to live with me for free when I can barely keep the house over my head, I think I would resent them. - ok, but their still paying their way, it's costing you no extra to have them there. What you actually want is for them to pay off your mortgage, but you to benefit from it.

    At the same time, I wouldn't want them to have a claim on my house as I've had it for so long and I know that relationships don't always last the course.
    Originally posted by pollyanna24
    Exactly. You want someone to just pay off your house for you.


    You see nothing wrong with that? profiting from someone you supposedly care about
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 11th Oct 17, 6:22 PM
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    FBaby
    If you earn the same and are sharing the same house and bills it makes sense to me to split it equally. The way I see it is its probably cheaper than him renting elsewhere and if the house is mortgaged, you are sort of renting it off the bank. Its not as if you are personally pocketing his rent. He sounds ungrateful.
    Originally posted by Fireflyaway
    She is gaining from an investment that he is contributing towards. That's the problem with property, it is both an essential need (rent) and an investment (growing in value), unfortunately, seen to depreciate sometimes on the short/medium term, but so far always considered the safest investment.

    So on one hand, why shouldn't he be paying half for having a roof over his head. On the other hand, why should he be paying so that she can pocket the profit!

    No right or wrong, as said before, it comes down to commitment. At which point do you move from 50/50 in being fair, to 50/50 out being fairest.
    • pollyanna24
    • By pollyanna24 11th Oct 17, 7:45 PM
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    pollyanna24
    I still don't get why someone should live for free while someone else has to pay.

    Surely if it is less than he would be paying by renting, he should be grateful.

    Maybe the answer is to rent out the house, earn income from that and just rent another house together, but split the rent. Or would this be unfair too?
    Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
    House Worth (approx) - £400,000
    Mortgages (3rd Nov 2017) - £180,813.85
    Equity - £219,186.15
    • indiepanda
    • By indiepanda 11th Oct 17, 8:10 PM
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    indiepanda
    This is a tricky one. I had a boyfriend live with me for about six months some 13 years ago. He had his own house which he rented out for more than the mortgage so he had an investment that he was making money on, while I carried on paying the mortgage on my place and all he paid was half the monthly bills and half the food costs. Oh, and he refused to pay towards the cleaner on the grounds if we didn't have one I would do all the cleaning as I would be the one to crack first long before he cleaned (I know... there was a sign there, right?).

    Net result of this arrangement was that I earned 50% more than him but we had the same disposable income and he was benefiting from the housing market going up in the same way as I was. I can't see that this was really fair and it definitely felt like he was profiting from the situation much more than I was but it has to be said when we split it and he moved out meant there were no discussions to be had about whether I owed him a penny.

    If I had someone live with me again, I think I would take a similar approach - I know I can bounce back from heartbreak but the idea of losing my home because someone had built up a beneficial interest and I couldn't afford to buy them out terrifies me.

    Maybe the OP needs to detail out exactly how much each bill is and show him he is only paying half. If it is more than half then she needs to think hard about whether she wants to risk the boyfriend building up a beneficial interest.

    I have to admit, I think it would be fair to pay a little bit more than the bills as the boyfriend is also getting benefit from the situation by paying rather less than a market rate of rent for the space he is getting, but then again a lot of bills don't double just because you are sharing, so even him paying half the bills benefits the OP.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 11th Oct 17, 9:19 PM
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    Poor_Single_lady
    Putting aside the legalities and entitlements just for a second.

    If 2 people are in a relationship And love each other then I would hope that the boyfriend would want to contribute fairly. Surely if you love somebody and you are living together then you would want to put in more than £250 per month. I know personally this wouldn't sit right on my conscious if I was the one moving in.

    It just Seams a bit of a mean approach to. A Relationship.
    Surely at the point of living together you either go in 100% together or you call it a day. I know I couldn't be happy payiny this amount and resentment would not be too far away.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 11th Oct 17, 10:45 PM
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    Comms69
    Forget there’s a mortgage- imagine she owns it outright- would it be fair to charge your partner rent?
    • bugslet
    • By bugslet 11th Oct 17, 11:01 PM
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    bugslet
    Just to be clear, that was just the opinion of the solicitor.... You never actually did the whole court thing



    Sometimes it's not about the money won, but the money lost by the other side.


    If I issued court papers and you didn't have a clue, you may go to a solicitor, who would charge you £200 to file a defence.


    I simply withdraw my claim (total cost so far is around £35) and you are left £200 down. You cannot reclaim that from me.
    Originally posted by Comms69

    Indeed, well worth 200 quid for peace of mind in my book. .
    • Plush
    • By Plush 11th Oct 17, 11:02 PM
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    Plush
    This is what I would do if I were in your shoes... For as long as you two keep finances separately, I would ask him to contribute exactly 50% of all housing expenses - mortgage payments and all utilities and services, including council tax. I would not ask him to contribute to repairs or improvements though.

    It's a fair deal for both of you - you both pay much less than you would if you lived separately. Now, if you're feeling particularly generous and loving, you could ask him to only pay half of the interest portion of the mortgage (exclude capital repayments), plus utilities and services. If you have access to your mortgage online, you can figure out very easily how much interest you are paying.

    In my case for instance mortgage payments are about £1000 monthly, but interest is only £400. Utilities and all services are about £300 (council tax included). So I would ask him to contribute £1300/2 = £650 or, in the "me being generous" scenario he would contribute £700/2 = £350. That £650 would be much much cheaper than what he would pay on this own.

    If, at some point in the relationship, we decided to go to the "next level" and have joint accounts and stop tracking 'who buys what' then we'd have a discussion about how to change things from that point on.

    Good luck with that discussion...
    • bugslet
    • By bugslet 11th Oct 17, 11:03 PM
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    bugslet
    Forget there’s a mortgage- imagine she owns it outright- would it be fair to charge your partner rent?
    Originally posted by Comms69
    In that scenario you'd hope they would split utilities and council tax. I certainly don't get why anyone would charge a love interest rent.
    • Plush
    • By Plush 11th Oct 17, 11:12 PM
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    Plush
    In that scenario you'd hope they would split utilities and council tax. I certainly don't get why anyone would charge a love interest rent.
    Originally posted by bugslet
    If I moved in with my boyfriend and he owned his place outright I would offer to pay for all utilities and council tax and be thankful that I can live rent free. We are all different I guess...
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