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  • FIRST POST
    • XKXPX
    • By XKXPX 4th Oct 17, 8:38 AM
    • 6Posts
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    XKXPX
    Advice required please
    • #1
    • 4th Oct 17, 8:38 AM
    Advice required please 4th Oct 17 at 8:38 AM
    Hi Guys

    I am new to this forum, but in a position that I fell utterly stuck in.

    In 2009 I started a relationship with a man, who went on to destroy my life for 5 years, the most awful domestic violence, controlling and abuse ion every aspect. In 2014 I finally got the courage to get him sent to prison, Upon doing so, he and his family, threatened me so many times, that even his mother ended up with an harassment warning. Every threat involved the speaking to the taxman, now this is where its difficult.

    In 2010 I started a business that was cash, my ex husband woulnt put the business in his name just my name, he pretty much controlled the business and would beat the hell out of me if I didn't do what he asked, I reported how he was on statement to the police, but he would always get me to drop charges etc, at the time he was also in the British Army, and he would do this thing called 'Double Bubble', he would come back from camp with so much money, like £1000 a time, and give it to me to put in my bank, saying he will get sacked from the army if they found out, and I couldn't say no, sometimes he would simply go to my bank and put this money in, even his rent and bill money when he did contribute was all cash, at the time I was so brainwashed and scared, I didn't even think, because it became so 'normal' that rather than argue backhand get winded, raped or glass crushed in your hand again, I just didn't say anything, and at the time didn't have a clue, what he was doing,

    A few years into the marriage, he started stealing LEAD from the roofs at the army barracks, and this was part of the cash he kept giving me, it was only when I found out from his friend, I refused to take money from stolen goods, and him to stop, but in fact he started getting money in cheques from Lead companies, and paid into his step dads account.

    As time went on many people who worked for me, came and told me not only had half my business been sleeping with my ex husband, he had also been stealing from me and setting me up. I also had to be sectioned for my own safety as I had tried to commit suicide to get away from him, in hospital because, this was too much on top of the violence and everything and I finally started to trust in the police,

    My ex had researched PTSD mental health till the cows came home, and played on this, (which saw him awarded £1000s) from the army, all bull crap, he then got back inside my head after he contracted menigutis and I allowed him to come back, thinking his stint in mental health hospital worked, but within a few days, I was covered in bruises, over the xmas period things got so bad, and all he would say is, if I went to the police, he had so much on me, and all I could genuinely think of was a large payment from a client that had gone in my person bank, but that I had paid pretty much out straight away, money that had been going in, had been genuine (i.e.) wedding money etc, and his money. in 2014 he took his violence even further by trying too strangle me and attacking our puppy, I finally trusted in the DV unit, and hd him arrested, the judge imprisoned him, due to the long long history, and he kept returning back there, for stalking me and harassing me on his releases, and breaking his injunctions.

    I then had to deal with his family, he had lied through his back teeth at them, and told them so many lies, and given them bank statements and wage slips of mine, which added to his lies, I at the time paid myself in dividends, so say £700. was on my wage slip, the rest made up in dividends, so they would see say 2k going in my bank which is perfectly legal, however his family are not quite with it even after I explained, and saw this as stealing and not declaring, so started making calls to HMRC, and broadcasting my life etc on their social media, even the fact I had been sectioned and tried to take my own life, he had told them I had made the whole thing up, and that he was only pleading guilty all the time to get lesser sentences.

    Roll on 2015 a year later, and my accountant receives details of a tax investigation going on, my accountant is a lovely guy, but I hadn't disclosed all my DV to because that was my business, and I do keep a lot of things in, my accountant asked for my bank statements for like 5-6 years, and without hesitation I supplied these, when I started going through them I was shocked, my ex husband had always kept my bank accounts when they came in the post, I wasn't allowed them, he would say he's putting them safe, but the money kept adding up, even money going in, in his parents home town, which is miles away etc, so I told everything to my accountant, who said did I have proof, I messaged my ex husband even though he was under injunction, and I asked him for written proof that he was the one putting cash in my bank, at first he was like ok sure, let me see proof you're under investigation etc, I sent my accountants details etc, then the more I asked him to admit what he had done, the more harder it got, because he would change the subject onto me and my new life away from the city we lived in, he then started telling me not to be silly by getting ;police involved as he wouldn't help me, I was desperate at this point, I even allowed him to come and see me, ion the hope he would help and say it was his money, but all he did was take pics of me and insult me and laugh when I cried.

    Eventually after me begging him his reply was 'payback'for me putting him in prison, I showed all of this to the HMRC guys and the liquidator, I told them, that the police have years of statements about his controlling, and money things and violence, but they are saying NO its undisclosed sales from my business, and a year into this investigation are billing me 317k more money than I've ever seen, and even my liquidatior is saying, it doesn't mater the bill is there I have to give them all I have and either. IVA or bankrupt, but the thing is I don't have anything, I don't live fancy, in 2014, I had a 15k loan off my bank and visa debts, I have proof of all that, if I had money I wouldn't have debt, but still they are saying that its a,l my debt, and if money would of gone through my business I would have triggered VAT, and have to pay that to, but I have told them over and over (my accountant and liquidator) and feel like I'm just dismissed, they're saying that because I have no proof and my business is cash, its kinda tough !!!!.

    Im at my wits end, I don't have anything of value, I don't even have jewellery and I have a few fake handbags, the sale from the money of my house they can have about 25k they're welcome to it, as I shared that house with him, but I don't have anything more, I even got asked if I have banks in Switzerland, where I have never been, and thats like wolf of Wall Street stuff.

    Im struggling so so much with my anxiety and depression, and I fought so hard to get away from this man, and now he has set up a competition business and living the high life travelling the world., with fancy crap and a fancy social media, and he is just laughing at me, sending my pics of piles of cash he's not declaring.

    Everyone who knows me, has said, he knew what he was doing all along, ands its true he did, but I just don't know what to do or say anymore, and feel like ending it, I worked so hard to build a business that I can't be apart of anymore, and to keep my friends in jobs, my mate has offered the liquidators money for the website, however think they want more than she can ever afford, as they're looking at traffic rates to the site rather than actual business coming through. I really don't want her loosing out because of my ex to

    Is there anything I can do>? the liquidator told me I can't appeal, because I have no money to, and it doesn't matter if its 30k 300k or 3million, they're clearly out for me...

    thank you , sorry to have gone on... just need to get it off my chest. xx
    Last edited by XKXPX; 04-10-2017 at 8:57 AM.
Page 1
    • StopIt
    • By StopIt 4th Oct 17, 9:07 AM
    • 1,449 Posts
    • 1,239 Thanks
    StopIt
    • #2
    • 4th Oct 17, 9:07 AM
    • #2
    • 4th Oct 17, 9:07 AM
    Aside from the relationship stuff, which is horrible and I can only sympathise, could you answer a simple question about your business?


    Is your company VAT registered? if it was "cash only" and not declared to HMRC for VAT purposes, you're going to be charged for the 7 years of VAT liabilities you haven't accounted for. Hence the massive bill, especially if you can't prove the difference between business funding and personal funding.


    Seek legal advice but it may be best to declare bankruptcy, move on and set up a new business (With VAT registration!) once you've got everything cleared.
    • XKXPX
    • By XKXPX 4th Oct 17, 9:16 AM
    • 6 Posts
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    XKXPX
    • #3
    • 4th Oct 17, 9:16 AM
    • #3
    • 4th Oct 17, 9:16 AM
    hi there,


    the company was registered a limited business yes and paid tax, but my accountant said I didn't need to sign on for VAT because I earned just below the threshold, I did get close 1 or 2 years but didn't go over it.

    its just so unfair, when you know you've been set up, and I feel he still has a hold on my life, I just feel like I don't want to carry on anymore and it feels like he is laughing at me, I just feel so stupid.
    • StopIt
    • By StopIt 4th Oct 17, 9:44 AM
    • 1,449 Posts
    • 1,239 Thanks
    StopIt
    • #4
    • 4th Oct 17, 9:44 AM
    • #4
    • 4th Oct 17, 9:44 AM
    In which case, HMRC are clearly treating this as undeclared turnover in regards to VAT.


    The threshold is £85,000 turnover, not profit, a year and you mentioned a bill of £317k?


    At a rate of 20% that's turnover of £1,585,000.


    Now divided by 5 (2010-2015, from your timeline of the business to the investigation) that's well, £317k a year.


    Now, what was the turnover of your business and just how much money was your ex putting into this account? Because the figures are far beyond an average Army salary, even taking into account some nefarious acts on his behalf.


    You say this business had your friends in jobs also? How many friends? I mean, how can you have had less than £85,000 a year turnover, draw a salary for yourself, anyone else, pay tax and another person, let alone operating costs.


    Something doesn't add up here.
    • XKXPX
    • By XKXPX 4th Oct 17, 10:59 AM
    • 6 Posts
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    XKXPX
    • #5
    • 4th Oct 17, 10:59 AM
    • #5
    • 4th Oct 17, 10:59 AM
    Hi there sorry I didn't make it clear apologies.

    My friends are self employed there was only me and one of my friends actually employed.

    My ex husband used to make money on 'double bubble' where he would lend squaddies money and charge them time and a half or double back, I have Facebook messages from one lads mother pleading with me to get my ex husband to stop getting her son into debt. Because he was a big guy and nasty he exploited the younger lads massively and because he was a few ranks above them that contributed to his bullying power to.

    My whole business turnover was between 75-82 a year in full, but the amount of money in my account going to that takes it over the vat threshold.

    The situation is when he went to prison in 2014 and we finally split up, there was only odd bits of money going in, mainly my mate who lived with me and gave me rent or her half of the holiday money when we went away, then a couple of grand money I raised for charity, in which I spent 3 weeks in an earthquake relief and the money was accounted for, so I raised this argument, stating that they needed to look at this, the money stopped going in when he went to prison..

    But they really don't seem interested.
    • XKXPX
    • By XKXPX 4th Oct 17, 11:01 AM
    • 6 Posts
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    XKXPX
    • #6
    • 4th Oct 17, 11:01 AM
    • #6
    • 4th Oct 17, 11:01 AM
    My accountant and the liquidator have both said the 317k bill I have been sent doesn't add up and they don't know where that figure has come from, as they didn't expect nothing like that..
    • StopIt
    • By StopIt 4th Oct 17, 11:16 AM
    • 1,449 Posts
    • 1,239 Thanks
    StopIt
    • #7
    • 4th Oct 17, 11:16 AM
    • #7
    • 4th Oct 17, 11:16 AM
    Hi there sorry I didn't make it clear apologies.

    My friends are self employed there was only me and one of my friends actually employed.

    My ex husband used to make money on 'double bubble' where he would lend squaddies money and charge them time and a half or double back, I have Facebook messages from one lads mother pleading with me to get my ex husband to stop getting her son into debt. Because he was a big guy and nasty he exploited the younger lads massively and because he was a few ranks above them that contributed to his bullying power to.

    My whole business turnover was between 75-82 a year in full, but the amount of money in my account going to that takes it over the vat threshold.

    The situation is when he went to prison in 2014 and we finally split up, there was only odd bits of money going in, mainly my mate who lived with me and gave me rent or her half of the holiday money when we went away, then a couple of grand money I raised for charity, in which I spent 3 weeks in an earthquake relief and the money was accounted for, so I raised this argument, stating that they needed to look at this, the money stopped going in when he went to prison..

    But they really don't seem interested.
    Originally posted by XKXPX

    No need to apologise, and thanks for explaining that arrangement as for civvies like me, that made no sense!


    If the people dealing with your business liquidation can't work this out, I don't think anyone else will. What part of the investigation process are you with HMRC, is there any right to appeal and have they applied to make you personally bankrupt as a result?


    If anything, if HMRC are going to be HMRC, maybe bankruptcy is the best way to draw a line from the whole thing and start again. It certainly doesn't sound fair but frankly, unless if you can prove your VAT status, they're going to hammer you either way. Going bankrupt wont prevent you from starting a new business once this is all out of the way.


    Edit: And I'm sure you know this now, but set up a different business account, to avoid this conflict happening. Keeps things much simpler.
    • XKXPX
    • By XKXPX 5th Oct 17, 4:33 PM
    • 6 Posts
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    XKXPX
    • #8
    • 5th Oct 17, 4:33 PM
    • #8
    • 5th Oct 17, 4:33 PM
    thank you, I was diagnosed with PTSD this year myself and had a lot of therapy, but when I thought this man was out of my life, he ruins it completely, and its so hard trying to move on, I'm currently about to go through IVF to with my new partner, and I just feel the whole world is against me, Ive come from nothing in life, and worked so so hard and although I don't have material things, the fact I will be made bankrupt is very very difficult, and as I have read so many others are in that boat.

    I fought so so hard to see justice done and this man still lives the high life, sending me so many pics of cash and bragging how much cash he's getting cash in hand.

    Ive been told its pointless appealing, regardless of his Domestic violence history, police records and his messages to me, its so unfair, he broke me and now he's doing it again.

    In the year 2014 when he went to prison no cash was going in of his only one or two payments of cash his dad gave me for the mortgage, but I was left struggling and took out loans etc to get by, and now I'm like, if I had so much money then why would I have to take loans. I guess they have to treat everyone equally when it comes to this, but if they walked into Central Park Police station in Mcr, there would be quite a few people who know his name, and many were so so shocked by the things he did to me, I just feel like giving up... I really do, all my life I have been controlled in one way or another, and I finally get strong and it affects me again, I just don't see any point. I love my new partner but this whole event has triggered so many flash backs and anxiety issues that I just cannot deal with.

    Its so sad reading all of these peoples threads, Im just relieved I don't have children yet to suffer, and even thinking of backing out of my IVF because I don't know how we will afford a child.
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 5th Oct 17, 4:57 PM
    • 36,208 Posts
    • 153,066 Thanks
    silvercar
    • #9
    • 5th Oct 17, 4:57 PM
    • #9
    • 5th Oct 17, 4:57 PM
    Sorry to hear that things have been so bad.

    You need to draw a line under everything and bankruptcy will be the quickest way of doing this. It would mean you don't need to calculate whether the true debt is £317k or £20k as it all falls into the bankruptcy.

    Start your business again with a new basic bank account. Keep your finances separate from your new partner until the bankruptcy is finished and walk away from this mess.

    There is no shame in bankruptcy anymore. It is designed to give you a new start. Take that opportunity and walk away from the financial mess. You have the strength to do this in the same way you had the strength to start again with a new partner. Stay strong!
    • XKXPX
    • By XKXPX 5th Oct 17, 5:21 PM
    • 6 Posts
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    XKXPX
    thank you, I just have no one to talk to at all, I keep reading about bank accounts getting frozen and other businesses shut down, I'm worried about another new small business io own, that doesn't earn much but its leading me to a new career, and I'm worried they will take that to, as the liquidator said I won't be allowed to have any businesses and they may take away my equipment.

    reading this forum and hearing other stories does help, and Womens aid did help me a few years ago, but it feels no-one can help now, I'm sure my accountant and liquidator think I'm a crazy woman, but I just don't know what to do, and I know its not so much a taboo from what I read, but its so hard to accept when it really is someone else fault.
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