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  • FIRST POST
    • Jellyb
    • By Jellyb 2nd Oct 17, 7:44 PM
    • 19Posts
    • 160Thanks
    Jellyb
    Birthday celebrations - paying for own meal
    • #1
    • 2nd Oct 17, 7:44 PM
    Birthday celebrations - paying for own meal 2nd Oct 17 at 7:44 PM
    My friend is planning her birthday celebrations. (50 at the start of the year.) She said she would like to go to a restaurant hotel with a private room/space where she could host a meal.
    This sounded great until I heard the price - £40 a head. This sounds fine until I read the menu choices - very basic starters, desserts and the mains - macaroni cheese, chicken and mushroom pasta, gammon steak or a burger.
    Am I being unreasonable - to me this sounds expensive especially when I took the prices from their menu and to have the most expensive starter, main and dessert, large wine, soft drink and a coffee and it would still come to less than £40
    I don't want to be a wet blanket - but when you include drinks, coffee and taxi home - it turns out to be an expensive deal.
    p.s. 'Guests' have also been told what she would like for a present.
    Sealed pot challenge No 562
    Total so far £18.50
Page 5
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 4th Oct 17, 3:56 PM
    • 1,098 Posts
    • 1,216 Thanks
    NeilCr
    I didn’t say it was a good generic one!


    Look, in the end we can go round and round on this. Bottom line, I think, is that some of us (including me) want to go along and help our friends celebrate their big days. If that means an overpriced, not great menu then that’s not a problem because it’s about our friends, not us. We’ve always been able to find something to eat

    Others take a different view. Not one I agree with but that’s what makes the world go round
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 4th Oct 17, 4:20 PM
    • 18,549 Posts
    • 47,766 Thanks
    Pollycat
    I didnít say it was a good generic one!
    Originally posted by NeilCr
    At last!

    We have found some common ground.
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 4th Oct 17, 4:25 PM
    • 1,098 Posts
    • 1,216 Thanks
    NeilCr
    At last!

    We have found some common ground.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Took us a while!

    • Mr_Singleton
    • By Mr_Singleton 4th Oct 17, 4:29 PM
    • 733 Posts
    • 1,538 Thanks
    Mr_Singleton
    Any deviation from her chosen menu (ie regular chips instead of sweet potato fries) will cost extra.
    Originally posted by Jellyb
    Wow, sounds like a classy joint.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 4th Oct 17, 4:38 PM
    • 940 Posts
    • 1,650 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    Food may be amazing. I didnít get there was a stipulation you had to give a present. And, even if there is, we arenít talking huge amounts.

    But, secondary to the point. For us itís about the other person - not us. For others it is clearly different. Which is fine. As you say donít expect me to feel the same as you
    Originally posted by NeilCr
    Maybe the other person isn't that important to the OP? There are friends I would bother for and friends I wouldn't. I wouldn't fancy the menu much and would probably prefer to spend the £40 on something else and of course some people just don't have the money to spend £40 on a not very inspiring meal and perhaps not a very close friend.
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 4th Oct 17, 4:56 PM
    • 1,098 Posts
    • 1,216 Thanks
    NeilCr
    Maybe the other person isn't that important to the OP? There are friends I would bother for and friends I wouldn't. I wouldn't fancy the menu much and would probably prefer to spend the £40 on something else and of course some people just don't have the money to spend £40 on a not very inspiring meal and perhaps not a very close friend.
    Originally posted by thepurplepixie
    Sure

    As Iíve said before the OP is a bit light on detail - although there seemed no problem with the cost. We donít really know how close a friend she is

    Me - Iíd go to a special birthday if asked. Iíd appreciate the invitation and that the person wanted me there. But, of course, financial constraints have to be taken into account.
    • Quizzical Squirrel
    • By Quizzical Squirrel 4th Oct 17, 5:00 PM
    • 167 Posts
    • 4,186 Thanks
    Quizzical Squirrel
    So what's for pudding?

    (After all this, I feel like I've already eaten the first course now.)
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 4th Oct 17, 5:13 PM
    • 1,098 Posts
    • 1,216 Thanks
    NeilCr
    So what's for pudding?

    (After all this, I feel like I've already eaten the first course now.)
    Originally posted by Quizzical Squirrel


    Perhaps the pudding is the birthday cake the £40 is going towards

    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 4th Oct 17, 5:38 PM
    • 18,549 Posts
    • 47,766 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Maybe the other person isn't that important to the OP? There are friends I would bother for and friends I wouldn't. I wouldn't fancy the menu much and would probably prefer to spend the £40 on something else and of course some people just don't have the money to spend £40 on a not very inspiring meal and perhaps not a very close friend.
    Originally posted by thepurplepixie
    I think this is quite possibly the case.

    I agree with NeilCr - the information is a little sparse.
    And as the OP logged on this morning but didn't comment on any of the replies, I think we're unlikely to get to know much more.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 4th Oct 17, 5:54 PM
    • 16,119 Posts
    • 40,019 Thanks
    FBaby
    A big part of us enjoying ourselves is making sure that the others in our group (especially the person who’s do it is) are having a good time as well. It’s what we do.
    Of course, of course. Most people just enjoy themselves the moment you throw a bit of alcohol into the mix and everyone relax.

    I wonder if you'd think the same if you had to pay £40 to eat food you dislike, drink some fancy water, and take party into a knitting class for the 5 hours. How many such parties would you attend and pay with a big smile on your face just to make the person celebrating their special day happy? (and if you happen to enjoy knitting, replace with attending a lecture on the reproduction of snails ).
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 4th Oct 17, 5:55 PM
    • 16,119 Posts
    • 40,019 Thanks
    FBaby
    There are friends I would bother for and friends I wouldn't.
    Mmm, I think that's what I stated in my post which prompted you to talk about making everyone happy!!
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 4th Oct 17, 6:10 PM
    • 1,098 Posts
    • 1,216 Thanks
    NeilCr
    Of course, of course. Most people just enjoy themselves the moment you throw a bit of alcohol into the mix and everyone relax.

    I wonder if you'd think the same if you had to pay £40 to eat food you dislike, drink some fancy water, and take party into a knitting class for the 5 hours. How many such parties would you attend and pay with a big smile on your face just to make the person celebrating their special day happy? (and if you happen to enjoy knitting, replace with attending a lecture on the reproduction of snails ).
    Originally posted by FBaby
    What a strange question

    Yep. Iíd be fine - if thatís what my friend wanted to do and it was a special birthday.

    Why wouldnít I be?

    Alcohol helps but we donít need it to enjoy ourselves. Weíd end up having a laugh (probably at my efforts at knitting!)

    As I said earlier in the thread over the years we as friends have done things together that some of us like and some of us are not so keen on. Jeez Iíve been to ballet and opera and thatís real hot needles and eyes stuff for me. Itís evened out over that time. Sort of what friends are about (to us anyway - perhaps not to some on this forum). Different strokes for different folks and all that
    Last edited by NeilCr; 04-10-2017 at 6:57 PM.
    • Jellyb
    • By Jellyb 5th Oct 17, 8:28 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 160 Thanks
    Jellyb
    Macaroni cheese
    The reason for the Macaroni cheese is because it's one of her personal favourites! Nothing to do with a veggie choice
    Sealed pot challenge No 562
    Total so far £18.50
    • Jellyb
    • By Jellyb 5th Oct 17, 8:30 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 160 Thanks
    Jellyb
    I think this is quite possibly the case.

    I agree with NeilCr - the information is a little sparse.
    And as the OP logged on this morning but didn't comment on any of the replies, I think we're unlikely to get to know much more.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    That's a bit unfair - I thought I had commented already and didn't want to cover the same ground and didn't have time to check or comment again.
    Sealed pot challenge No 562
    Total so far £18.50
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 5th Oct 17, 8:34 AM
    • 18,549 Posts
    • 47,766 Thanks
    Pollycat
    That's a bit unfair - I thought I had commented already and didn't want to cover the same ground and didn't have time to check or comment again.
    Originally posted by Jellyb
    I regret that you think my post was unfair.

    The point of my post was that you'd made 2 posts early on and there we were on page 5 with lots of questions and speculation but no clarification from you.
    I believe I made a fair point, but that doesn't stop you thinking otherwise.

    Enjoy the party (or not, as the case may be).
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 5th Oct 17, 12:57 PM
    • 1,098 Posts
    • 1,216 Thanks
    NeilCr
    The reason for the Macaroni cheese is because it's one of her personal favourites! Nothing to do with a veggie choice
    Originally posted by Jellyb

    But it kills two birds with one stone. She gets her favourite meal and provides a veggie option
    • Quizzical Squirrel
    • By Quizzical Squirrel 5th Oct 17, 1:29 PM
    • 167 Posts
    • 4,186 Thanks
    Quizzical Squirrel
    My next one of these things is on the 10th.

    I wonder if I should pre-emptively send her some sort of manifesto before the invitation arrives?
    • lillie421
    • By lillie421 6th Oct 17, 11:36 AM
    • 44 Posts
    • 23 Thanks
    lillie421
    The present bit is quite rude of her. If she is your friend, she should be fine with you just letting her know that you can't afford it. The price of the meal will be so expensive because you are in a private room and being waited on. I don't blame you for not wanting to pay so much for something so basic. Good luck
    • Rev
    • By Rev 8th Oct 17, 2:13 AM
    • 2,998 Posts
    • 2,715 Thanks
    Rev
    I donít really understand friends who do this. I always feel so incredibly lucky to have the friends I have when I read threads like this.

    I have 4 best friends. On one of our birthdays we always pick somewhere everyone can afford. Caveat being the birthday girl never pays for her meal. But we all do that and we take that in to account when picking somewhere.


    Fact is Iíd rather spend my 40th in a Wetherspoons with my best friends then in a fancy hotel without them. For me itís about who youíre with not where you are. And Iím thankfully my friends feel the same.


    I do have to admit though I always ask friends what they want as a present so her saying what she wanted would be absolutely fine with me as I know Iím putting money towards something she wants.


    If you canít afford it then be honest. If sheís a real friend she will understand.
    Sigless
    • Bogof_Babe
    • By Bogof_Babe 8th Oct 17, 5:54 PM
    • 9,997 Posts
    • 15,828 Thanks
    Bogof_Babe
    Would be funny if it turned out she had actually said fourteen pounds not forty!
    I haven't bogged off yet, and I ain't no babe


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