Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • GTR King
    • By GTR King 30th Sep 17, 11:44 PM
    • 708Posts
    • 122Thanks
    GTR King
    Finding right girl
    • #1
    • 30th Sep 17, 11:44 PM
    Finding right girl 30th Sep 17 at 11:44 PM
    I am 27 (28 next year)

    I donít know why but I am getting really bored of going out clubbing/getting drunk every week (My work friend keep persuading me & my mate to go & say I wonít find a girl if I donít go) & asks whatís up when I donít wanna go drinking...

    I would rather do something else E.G cinema/bowling....

    I feel that when I go clubbing most of the girls are 18-23 and not ready to settle down... I hardly see any single girls my ages when I am out... most donít go clubbing anymore

    So is it weird that I am starting to get bored of clubbing....

    Also on dating sites lately all the girls that are interested in me are super fit\have children... usally find out when talk to them...

    Why is this. Not read to have children yet
Page 2
    • Robin-o'-the-Hood
    • By Robin-o'-the-Hood 1st Oct 17, 6:20 PM
    • 109 Posts
    • 40 Thanks
    Robin-o'-the-Hood
    Agree with the other posters. You are growing up and maturing and your mates are not. There is no harm in clubbing every now and again with them just don't see it as the way you are going to meet "the one."
    I would say don't follow/take up any activity just to meet someone. Do whatever interests you in itself. If there are females there, you might well find a partner, or make a female friend (partnered up or not) who has a single friend...
    • GTR King
    • By GTR King 1st Oct 17, 6:27 PM
    • 708 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    GTR King
    Robin-o’-the-Hood

    Thanks for the advice.. I don’t mind going clubbing every now & then... Now every week
    • GTR King
    • By GTR King 9th Oct 17, 9:19 PM
    • 708 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    GTR King
    Update I have started talking a girl (Match.com) (Think she is very good looking, someone I think is way too hot for me) since yerstday.

    She is shy & always replies with good long messages, take ages to reply (will reply instantly/within 20 mins once she longs on, hardly logs online)

    Was thinking (if still talking) give her my number tomz or Wed/Thurs. Then arrange to meet up next week... don’t like the idea of messaging for ages & it lead to nothing..

    Am I being too quick? Don’t wanna rush things etc
    Last edited by GTR King; 09-10-2017 at 9:32 PM.
    • goodwithsaving
    • By goodwithsaving 9th Oct 17, 9:48 PM
    • 651 Posts
    • 998 Thanks
    goodwithsaving
    Update I have started talking a girl (Match.com) (Think she is very good looking, someone I think is way too hot for me) since yerstday.

    She is shy & always replies with good long messages, take ages to reply (will reply instantly/within 20 mins once she longs on, hardly logs online)

    Was thinking (if still talking) give her my number tomz or Wed/Thurs. Then arrange to meet up next week... donít like the idea of messaging for ages & it lead to nothing..

    Am I being too quick? Donít wanna rush things etc
    Originally posted by GTR King
    Oh come on. It has been since yesterday. Forgive me for being blunt, but she might not even be messaging you by tomorrow.
    Every time you borrow money, youíre robbing your future self. ĖNathan W. Morris
    • GTR King
    • By GTR King 9th Oct 17, 9:53 PM
    • 708 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    GTR King
    She message me earlier today, (was a long message) I don’t wanna act too keen that’s all.

    Not end of the world if she stops talking gotta keep positive
    Last edited by GTR King; 09-10-2017 at 9:55 PM.
    • IAmWales
    • By IAmWales 9th Oct 17, 9:56 PM
    • 1,491 Posts
    • 3,127 Thanks
    IAmWales
    She is a woman. There is a name for grown men that like girls.

    And yes, slow down. You've already made several judgments about this woman and you've known her 24 hours.

    Desperate is not attractive.
    • zx81
    • By zx81 9th Oct 17, 9:58 PM
    • 13,677 Posts
    • 14,139 Thanks
    zx81
    Don't let her hear you say 'wanna' all the time.
    • GTR King
    • By GTR King 9th Oct 17, 10:01 PM
    • 708 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    GTR King
    Ok thanks... I never send 2nd messages before they have replied, I am gonna play it cool & wait for her to reply, if she don’t I will move on.

    Not gonna act to keen... will see what happens
    • zx81
    • By zx81 9th Oct 17, 10:02 PM
    • 13,677 Posts
    • 14,139 Thanks
    zx81
    Or 'gonna '.
    • GTR King
    • By GTR King 9th Oct 17, 10:06 PM
    • 708 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    GTR King
    I am not gonna take ages, so that she looses interest....

    I will see what happens
    • WibblyGirly
    • By WibblyGirly 10th Oct 17, 8:20 AM
    • 215 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    WibblyGirly
    My partner and I sent about 4 or 5 messages online and arranged a date. Both of us had filled out our profiles pretty well though so we could see the others interests etc. We did swap numbers and text for about a week before the date so there was time to cancel if we wanted.
    I didn't want to spend ages messaging first as it can build up a false idea of a person before you meet them.
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 10th Oct 17, 8:25 AM
    • 12,899 Posts
    • 17,075 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    Update I have started talking a girl (Match.com) (Think she is very good looking, someone I think is way too hot for me) since yerstday.
    Originally posted by GTR King
    I wouldn't let that put you off. You only have to look around to see that there are plenty of extremely good looking women paired up with ugly men. Women have different priorities when looking for a mate, apparently.

    I think there is/was whole website devoted to the phenomenon somewhere.
    Advice; it rhymes with mice. Advise; it rhymes with wise.
    • Judi
    • By Judi 10th Oct 17, 9:00 AM
    • 15,175 Posts
    • 61,976 Thanks
    Judi
    Your on a dating web site don't leave it too long.
    'Holy crap on a cracker!'
    • sillygoose
    • By sillygoose 10th Oct 17, 9:02 AM
    • 3,935 Posts
    • 4,022 Thanks
    sillygoose
    I wouldn't let that put you off. You only have to look around to see that there are plenty of extremely good looking women paired up with ugly men. Women have different priorities when looking for a mate, apparently.

    I think there is/was whole website devoted to the phenomenon somewhere.
    Originally posted by Gloomendoom
    Is there a holding my hand up Emoticon? Wife gorgeous, me ugly as sin ...but I am very funny!

    Try not to 'keep score', attraction isn't a computer game.

    Counter to some comments, I wouldn't play it too cool, I mean don't turn into a stalker with a shrine in your cupboard to her, but how often do you hear women saying 'I just don't know, he doesn't really seem into me, I don't get much signs'

    Being excited and enthusiastic to talk and spend time with someone is a good thing. We all like to be 'attractive' in a whole person way not just physically.
    • lillie421
    • By lillie421 10th Oct 17, 9:33 AM
    • 44 Posts
    • 19 Thanks
    lillie421
    Your friends sound somewhat controlling maybe? It is a little odd that they are funny about you wanting to stay in. It is understandable that as you get older, you don't want to be going out to clubs every weekend. I suggest talking to them about this and try to get them to understand your point of view. Maybe they will compromise with you and start going to the cinemas etc. like you said. If after this chat, they are still funny about it, maybe it would be the right time to find some new friends?
    • ringo_24601
    • By ringo_24601 10th Oct 17, 10:37 AM
    • 16,966 Posts
    • 27,573 Thanks
    ringo_24601
    My advice with the online dating is to take it offline as soon as possible - have a chat on the phone, make this 'real'.

    Online chatting isn't the same at all

    (Met my missus with an online dating site owned by match.com 12 years ago... We were on the phone the day after I first messaged her)
    Last edited by ringo_24601; 10-10-2017 at 10:53 AM.
    • GTR King
    • By GTR King 10th Oct 17, 1:07 PM
    • 708 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    GTR King
    Thanks for advice, I suggested we talk via WhatsApp or I message, will see what she says... not replied yet
    • Ozzuk
    • By Ozzuk 16th Oct 17, 10:13 AM
    • 1,121 Posts
    • 1,652 Thanks
    Ozzuk
    As others have said, don't fall into the trap of messaging for ages and becoming a pen pal. She may be happy to talk to you, then someone better/more dynamic comes along and you are forgotten.

    You know from her profile what she is like, exchange a few messages to see if you appear on the same wavelength then its time to take a chance and validate it in person.

    I always tried to avoid coffee dates, can be really awkward. Try and do something fun, activity based dates can be awesome, and if it doesn't work out then at least you did something fun.

    I've done things like dog walking/fruit picking followed up with picnic. Always more relaxed on those types of dates.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

315Posts Today

3,694Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • RT @LordsEconCom: On Tuesday Martin Lewis, Hannah Morrish & Shakira Martin gave evidence to the Cttee. Read the full transcript here: https?

  • Ta ta for now. Half term's starting, so I'm exchanging my MoneySavingExpert hat for one that says Daddy in big letters. See you in a week.

  • RT @thismorning: Can @MartinSLewis' deals save YOU cash? ???? https://t.co/igbHCwzeiN

  • Follow Martin