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    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 24th Sep 17, 1:22 PM
    • 2,299Posts
    • 11,166Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    • #1
    • 24th Sep 17, 1:22 PM
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally 24th Sep 17 at 1:22 PM
    My DH and I have been in debt for 34 Years, apart from brief periods, ever since I was offered my first credit card at the tender age of19.

    Our debts were caused by us being impulsive spenders and not being very skilled at budgeting or managing our money, so we know it is our own fault. We always believed that one day we would have more money, mysteriously, and that this would bail us out .

    Our full light bulb moment came when we realised, "What if we never have any more money than we do right now?"

    A couple of years ago we were coping with the minimum payments, but didn't have enough to overpay on any of them. We were forking out £1300 a month in minimum payments, and the interest alone was £1000 a month .

    But then in 2015 our small business started to bring in less, and a family bereavement, and illness affected our ability to work. We could no longer afford the minimum repayments and we were scared we would lose our home. We were stricken with stress and depression .

    Step Change shone a light in the darkness for us and they arranged for us to make token payments of £1 a month to our creditors. This saved our sanity and we were reassured that our home was unlikely to be taken from us.

    My DH recently turned 55 and drew out his pension so that we could make full and final offers to our creditors. All but one accepted an offer of 50% of what we owed (which is all we had to offer). We are continuing negotiations with the final creditor and hope to be debt free by Christmas .

    Being so close to being debt free has made me realise what a heavy burden the debts have been all these years, like living our lives wearing lead boots.

    Once we are debt free we will still need to live very frugally because we have no emergency fund or savings, and our income can be irregular. I hope that starting a diary will help to focus me on frugal living, avoid impulsive spends, and keep my spirits up. Because frugal living can be a lonely and isolating experience.

    This site and Step Change has helped me so much, and I hope that my diary will help to inspire others that it's never too late to change your life .
    Last edited by HairyHandofDartmoor; 18-11-2017 at 9:49 AM.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
Page 53
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 4th Dec 17, 9:37 AM
    • 441 Posts
    • 3,045 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    What did we do before we had children?
    Had chance to have a hot cuppa
    Managed to leave the house without a screaming fit and at least one child needing a clothing change just as you're ready to leave.
    Have a bath in peace Hang on even have a pee in peace



    Can you tell how my mornings been

    Have a good day x
    “Once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.”
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Dec 17, 12:18 PM
    • 49,084 Posts
    • 182,299 Thanks
    beanielou
    What did we do before children indeed?

    Lovely idea to write letter to DS2.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Pauper1
    • By Pauper1 4th Dec 17, 2:08 PM
    • 289 Posts
    • 2,363 Thanks
    Pauper1
    I'm sure DS appreciates how much you are doing for him, even if he doesn't show it (Just thinking back to my youngster days). I think I'd have cried if my parents wrote me a letter like that, so lovely!

    Haha WannabeFree sounds very similar to my days at the moment!
    DMP start 1st May 2014 - £22,850 £39,349.41 Original DFD from Stepchange 6th Sept 2039... Aiming for 1st Nov 2026
    Priorities changed, sold our house, going through the settlement process and hope to be debt free by Christmas 2017
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 5:11 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Thank you Wannabe, beanie and Pauper .

    It's been a hectic day so far. I've had my hair cut, cleaned out the furry moron, put the lights on the Christmas tree, sorted through two rubbish bags, put some laundry on and wrote a packing list for DS2 . I'm just recovering now.

    DH has taken DS2 to buy a bigger suitcase, some adaptor plugs for USA, a money card to carry money safely, and a document wallet to carry his many travel documents safely. DH has also printed out DS2's coach ticket to London, hotel reservation, plane tickets etc, to keep in the wallet .

    Tonight we still need to sort out DS2's travel insurance and write out a list of safety advice for him and I wznt to write the letter to him .

    When he's gone we can rest, apart from worrying about him .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 5:13 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Had chance to have a hot cuppa
    Managed to leave the house without a screaming fit and at least one child needing a clothing change just as you're ready to leave.
    Have a bath in peace Hang on even have a pee in peace



    Can you tell how my mornings been

    Have a good day x
    Originally posted by WannabeFree
    What did we do before children indeed?

    Lovely idea to write letter to DS2.
    Originally posted by beanielou
    I'm sure DS appreciates how much you are doing for him, even if he doesn't show it (Just thinking back to my youngster days). I think I'd have cried if my parents wrote me a letter like that, so lovely!

    Haha WannabeFree sounds very similar to my days at the moment!
    Originally posted by Pauper1
    I thought I'd have more time when the kids were grown up, apparently not
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 6:23 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Well that's DS2's travel insurance sorted. I've written the letter and put it inside DS2's new empty suitcase. I hope he spots it before he piles his clothes on top of it .

    DH has persuaded DS3 to postone his Dartmoor photography outing until tomorrow, but we still need to finally submit his UCAS form.

    We haven't managed to get much work done today, but that was only to be expected .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 4th Dec 17, 6:49 PM
    • 632 Posts
    • 3,589 Thanks
    redofromstart
    I thought I'd have more time when the kids were grown up, apparently not
    Originally posted by HairyHandofDartmoor
    Don't tell me that
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 7:17 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Don't tell me that
    Originally posted by redofromstart
    Sorry . Mind you it might be a different story when they all move out, DH and I probably won't hear from them for months on end .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Dec 17, 7:20 PM
    • 49,084 Posts
    • 182,299 Thanks
    beanielou
    I miss my now adult DS more than I can say.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 7:23 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Yes I know I will miss them when they go and I'll probably look back at the present chaos with rose tinted spectacles .

    Does your DS live near to you beanie?
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 4th Dec 17, 7:38 PM
    • 915 Posts
    • 4,663 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Believe me wait till you get grandchildren you will never have any time. I wouldn't change it for the world though.

    DS 2 must be very excited by his journey , he will have a fabolous time. I worried when my son went to Las Vegas and California, they drove everywhere, I was convinced he was never coming home , but he did .

    When the sons have gone you will miss them.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Dec 17, 7:40 PM
    • 49,084 Posts
    • 182,299 Thanks
    beanielou
    Yes I know I will miss them when they go and I'll probably look back at the present chaos with rose tinted spectacles .

    Does your DS live near to you beanie?
    Originally posted by HairyHandofDartmoor
    He does live quite near me.
    He is currently doing his Masters & has a part time job so time with him is very very precious.
    After the turmoil of his teenage years & then he & his GF living here for 22 months I am glad to say we now have a great relationship & he can be a great voice of reason.
    I am very proud of the very lovely young man he has become despite the many challanges he has faced.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 7:43 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    He sounds lovely beanie and I'm not surprised that you're proud of him .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • badmemory
    • By badmemory 4th Dec 17, 8:30 PM
    • 1,071 Posts
    • 1,138 Thanks
    badmemory
    I'm sure you have done it but you never actually said visa, so I thought i'd stick my oar in.

    Incidentally, I could deal with having my legs crossed, but cold or even not very hot coffee I did not like. I still have the legs crossed problem because he now takes 30 min showers & never ever says he is going to!
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Dec 17, 8:32 PM
    • 49,084 Posts
    • 182,299 Thanks
    beanielou
    He sounds lovely beanie and I'm not surprised that you're proud of him .
    Originally posted by HairyHandofDartmoor
    Thank you
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 8:34 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I'm sure you have done it but you never actually said visa, so I thought i'd stick my oar in.

    Incidentally, I could deal with having my legs crossed, but cold or even not very hot coffee I did not like. I still have the legs crossed problem because he now takes 30 min showers & never ever says he is going to!
    Originally posted by badmemory
    Thanks badmemory we have got an ESTA authorisation sorted out for him. Luckily DH has a friend who goes to the USA every year so thry told us it was needed .

    to the 30 minute showers, I feel your pain!
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 8:36 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Believe me wait till you get grandchildren you will never have any time. I wouldn't change it for the world though.

    DS 2 must be very excited by his journey , he will have a fabolous time. I worried when my son went to Las Vegas and California, they drove everywhere, I was convinced he was never coming home , but he did .

    When the sons have gone you will miss them.
    Originally posted by Cumbria lass
    Thanks Cumbria. I'll probably cry when he's left because I do feel worried, but I'm sure he'll be fine. He's packing his case right now .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 4th Dec 17, 8:50 PM
    • 4,761 Posts
    • 28,328 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    He'll be fine and back home before you know it

    Pre children I used to dance the night away. In my opinion I was cut off in my prime when I gave birth to DS at 24

    Don't worry you'll never get rid of them, they'll be back when they need feeding or their washing doing

    Seriously, I hope he has a wonderful time.
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £20.70
    December 3 NSD
    Weight loss 2/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 9:11 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Thank you SA he is very excited and looking forward to it . I will try not to worry
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Dec 17, 5:00 PM
    • 2,299 Posts
    • 11,166 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Well DS2 has begun his big adventure today and is his way to London .

    He should be fine today as he just has to make his way to DH's sister's house for the night. Tomorrow will be more hair raising (for DH and I anyway) as he has his long plane journey and also has to change planes along the way .

    He forgot his jacket so I'm worried he won't have anywhere safe to keep his wallet . We suggested he buys a new jacket at Victoria but I don't know whether he will.

    I feel a little strange but am telling myself that he will be fine .

    On the way home from dropping him off DH and I went to Mr M for milk and bread and spent £15 . That's the last time I allow DH in a supermarket .

    DH has now taken DS3 onto Dartmoor to take photos for his college project and I have put some bedding on to wash, emptied some bins, folded up some clean washing, emptied the dishwasher and sorted through 8 rubbish bags. I only found 82p this time so I feel very underpaid .

    I'm keeping busy so that I don't have time to worry about DS2
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £203.76
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