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  • FIRST POST
    • NoNoDrama
    • By NoNoDrama 16th Sep 17, 5:37 PM
    • 184Posts
    • 47Thanks
    NoNoDrama
    Long Term Partner Becoming Personal Trainer (Jealousy etc)
    • #1
    • 16th Sep 17, 5:37 PM
    Long Term Partner Becoming Personal Trainer (Jealousy etc) 16th Sep 17 at 5:37 PM
    We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

    ....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

    I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

    She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

    I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

    I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

    My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it?
Page 2
    • GwylimT
    • By GwylimT 16th Sep 17, 7:09 PM
    • 5,806 Posts
    • 10,814 Thanks
    GwylimT
    I've been using gyms and personal trainers most of my adult life, never come across affairs. I have however come across many men who treat their girlfriends and wives as nothing but an object under their ownership, much like the OP.
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 16th Sep 17, 7:14 PM
    • 7,603 Posts
    • 25,586 Thanks
    Primrose
    You sound very immature, jealous and probably over possessive. . Quite honestly I think the best thing you can do is let her go and not enter another relationship ship until you've learned how to trust people and respect the way they want to earn a living.
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 16th Sep 17, 7:25 PM
    • 2,743 Posts
    • 6,117 Thanks
    gettingtheresometime
    Just trying to work out (no pun intended) why anyone would find another person sexy when that person is sweaty & smelly.
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


    Next on the list - the Argos Card!
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 16th Sep 17, 7:39 PM
    • 17,607 Posts
    • 44,826 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Well the jealously is industry specific .. she works with mostly men now and it's never been an issue.

    We can pretend affairs aren't common in the personal trainer world but we'd all be kidding ourselves, anyone who has worked in a gym will tell you the stories.

    I do accept it's my issue not hers. I wouldn't dream of asking her not to pursue it, she'd just end up hating me plus she's so determined would probably tell me to just jog on anyway.

    There is no way but to end it. If her future career is more important than me I shouldn't be with her anyway.
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    Just grow up.
    • NoNoDrama
    • By NoNoDrama 16th Sep 17, 7:43 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 47 Thanks
    NoNoDrama
    I'm not biting to bored hermits but it's quite common knowledge....granted the combo is usually male trainer > female.

    Of the multitude of google results here is a marriage forum discussing how rife it is...

    http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/28877-personal-trainers-affairs-2.html

    But of course it doesn't happen at the gyms people on here go to and they've already conveniently had that conversation with gym staff haha.
    • decbel
    • By decbel 16th Sep 17, 7:43 PM
    • 1,358 Posts
    • 1,442 Thanks
    decbel
    My Mrs works frontline in retail.

    She is well endowed and sometimes attracts attention from 'admirers' shall we say.

    Do I get jealous, no.

    She comes home to me.
    • balletshoes
    • By balletshoes 16th Sep 17, 7:45 PM
    • 15,794 Posts
    • 40,255 Thanks
    balletshoes
    OP I neither know, nor care, how many personal trainers end up having affairs with their clients.

    Bottom line is, you don't trust your partner not to do the same thing. You don't trust your partner.
    Full stop.

    And so, as you don't trust your partner, you would be better ending it.
    • NoNoDrama
    • By NoNoDrama 16th Sep 17, 7:47 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 47 Thanks
    NoNoDrama
    Just grow up.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Your post rate is offensive. get out the house before giving others "advise".
    • elsien
    • By elsien 16th Sep 17, 7:48 PM
    • 15,046 Posts
    • 37,638 Thanks
    elsien
    I can find you any number of threads/forums explaining how lizards are ruling the world. Doesn't make it true.

    Now where did I put that heatlamp...
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • NoNoDrama
    • By NoNoDrama 16th Sep 17, 7:49 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 47 Thanks
    NoNoDrama
    My Mrs works frontline in retail.

    She is well endowed and sometimes attracts attention from 'admirers' shall we say.

    Do I get jealous, no.

    She comes home to me.
    Originally posted by decbel
    Fair play to you. Just hope no one richer/better looking comes along
    • decbel
    • By decbel 16th Sep 17, 7:53 PM
    • 1,358 Posts
    • 1,442 Thanks
    decbel
    Fair play to you. Just hope no one richer/better looking comes along
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    That is the risk you take in life.
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 16th Sep 17, 7:56 PM
    • 12,691 Posts
    • 16,884 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    Your post rate is offensive. get out the house before giving others "advise".
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    You can't give "advise" to anybody.
    Advice; it rhymes with mice. Advise; it rhymes with wise.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 16th Sep 17, 7:58 PM
    • 17,607 Posts
    • 44,826 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Your post rate is offensive. get out the house before giving others "advise".
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    Don't you think your attitude that you should 'end it' because of your partner's job - without any proof of her infidelity - is childish?

    I have no idea what you mean by 'your post rate is offensive'.
    Is there a rule in MSE that limits the number of posts a member makes?
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 16th Sep 17, 8:03 PM
    • 945 Posts
    • 1,000 Thanks
    NeilCr
    I'm not biting to bored hermits but it's quite common knowledge....granted the combo is usually male trainer > female.

    Of the multitude of google results here is a marriage forum discussing how rife it is...

    http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/28877-personal-trainers-affairs-2.html

    But of course it doesn't happen at the gyms people on here go to and they've already conveniently had that conversation with gym staff haha.
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    Yep

    Cos most of us live in the real world and actually know and talk to people in these situations

    As opposed to frantically googling something to back up our assertions. But, then, if you are relying completely on everything you read online I can see why your partner may be looking for some "action" elsewhere
    • donnac2558
    • By donnac2558 16th Sep 17, 8:14 PM
    • 2,312 Posts
    • 1,922 Thanks
    donnac2558
    OP you come across as petty, sad, mental age of 9 and boring

    I hope she dumps you ASAP!
    She can do so much better
    • JJM100200
    • By JJM100200 16th Sep 17, 8:22 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    JJM100200
    We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

    ....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

    I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

    She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

    I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

    I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

    My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it?
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama

    says more about you than anything. I use a personal trainer and have mates who are personal trainers....there is f all seedy about it, no more so than the average office and what goes on day to day in all walks of life.

    This is a trust issue or a control issue, reading your post it appears to all be from you!! Sorry to be blunt.
    • Loz01
    • By Loz01 16th Sep 17, 8:25 PM
    • 1,422 Posts
    • 3,100 Thanks
    Loz01
    If her future career is more important than me I shouldn't be with her anyway.
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    Says it all!!!! She's trying to make a change, get a job, qualify to be something and its hurting your manly ego it appears. Grow up mate.
    An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 16th Sep 17, 8:42 PM
    • 2,567 Posts
    • 2,513 Thanks
    cjdavies
    Affairs can happen no matter what profession.
    • emmatthews
    • By emmatthews 16th Sep 17, 8:50 PM
    • 650 Posts
    • 1,259 Thanks
    emmatthews
    I think you're better off ending it. Your stereotyping of an entire profession is just ridiculous. I'm sure some PT's have affairs just as I'm sure some police officers, teachers, bankers do. Doesn't mean they all do.

    If you seriously have such low opinion of your girlfriend and her ability not to start shagging someone else then I really think you should do her a favour and end it (or show her thread and she'll finish it instead).
    • decbel
    • By decbel 16th Sep 17, 9:33 PM
    • 1,358 Posts
    • 1,442 Thanks
    decbel
    I think you're better off ending it. Your stereotyping of an entire profession is just ridiculous. I'm sure some PT's have affairs just as I'm sure some police officers, teachers, bankers do. Doesn't mean they all do.

    If you seriously have such low opinion of your girlfriend and her ability not to start shagging someone else then I really think you should do her a favour and end it (or show her thread and she'll finish it instead).
    Originally posted by emmatthews
    Yes.

    If she ever got to read this it would be over anyway.
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