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  • FIRST POST
    • NoNoDrama
    • By NoNoDrama 16th Sep 17, 5:37 PM
    • 184Posts
    • 47Thanks
    NoNoDrama
    Long Term Partner Becoming Personal Trainer (Jealousy etc)
    • #1
    • 16th Sep 17, 5:37 PM
    Long Term Partner Becoming Personal Trainer (Jealousy etc) 16th Sep 17 at 5:37 PM
    We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

    ....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

    I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

    She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

    I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

    I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

    My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it?
Page 1
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 16th Sep 17, 5:42 PM
    • 1,139 Posts
    • 4,135 Thanks
    lika_86
    • #2
    • 16th Sep 17, 5:42 PM
    • #2
    • 16th Sep 17, 5:42 PM
    You don't trust her. Ending it would be in both your interests.
    • balletshoes
    • By balletshoes 16th Sep 17, 5:49 PM
    • 15,796 Posts
    • 40,259 Thanks
    balletshoes
    • #3
    • 16th Sep 17, 5:49 PM
    • #3
    • 16th Sep 17, 5:49 PM
    We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

    ....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

    I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

    She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

    I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

    I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

    My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it?
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    you've answered your own question - you have to end it because you can't be with her when she gets the job she wants.
    • copperclock
    • By copperclock 16th Sep 17, 5:55 PM
    • 186 Posts
    • 205 Thanks
    copperclock
    • #4
    • 16th Sep 17, 5:55 PM
    • #4
    • 16th Sep 17, 5:55 PM
    There is 'intimacy' in all sorts of jobs: massage therapist, hairdresser, chiropractor, doctor etc. etc..

    If you don't trust her, you don't trust her. Imposing rules on what kind of job she does or doesn't do isn't going to help. You need to either change your opinion or break up.
    • IAmWales
    • By IAmWales 16th Sep 17, 5:58 PM
    • 1,232 Posts
    • 2,595 Thanks
    IAmWales
    • #5
    • 16th Sep 17, 5:58 PM
    • #5
    • 16th Sep 17, 5:58 PM
    What on earth is "very seedy" about being a personal trainer?

    She's not going to be a prostitute!
    • lincroft1710
    • By lincroft1710 16th Sep 17, 6:03 PM
    • 9,637 Posts
    • 7,627 Thanks
    lincroft1710
    • #6
    • 16th Sep 17, 6:03 PM
    • #6
    • 16th Sep 17, 6:03 PM
    .

    I've researched and it's a very seedy industry
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    I don't think so!
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 16th Sep 17, 6:06 PM
    • 17,632 Posts
    • 44,899 Thanks
    Pollycat
    • #7
    • 16th Sep 17, 6:06 PM
    • #7
    • 16th Sep 17, 6:06 PM
    "seedy industry".?
    Really?
    Are you sure you've Googled the right occupation?
    • barbarawright
    • By barbarawright 16th Sep 17, 6:17 PM
    • 1,666 Posts
    • 3,196 Thanks
    barbarawright
    • #8
    • 16th Sep 17, 6:17 PM
    • #8
    • 16th Sep 17, 6:17 PM
    Sounds like you've been watching too much porn. Seriously, what is seedy about helping others to become fit? Most of her clients will probably be overweight middle aged women if the female trainer I know is anything to go by
    • NoNoDrama
    • By NoNoDrama 16th Sep 17, 6:22 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 47 Thanks
    NoNoDrama
    • #9
    • 16th Sep 17, 6:22 PM
    • #9
    • 16th Sep 17, 6:22 PM
    Well the jealously is industry specific .. she works with mostly men now and it's never been an issue.

    We can pretend affairs aren't common in the personal trainer world but we'd all be kidding ourselves, anyone who has worked in a gym will tell you the stories.

    I do accept it's my issue not hers. I wouldn't dream of asking her not to pursue it, she'd just end up hating me plus she's so determined would probably tell me to just jog on anyway.

    There is no way but to end it. If her future career is more important than me I shouldn't be with her anyway.
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 16th Sep 17, 6:24 PM
    • 1,139 Posts
    • 4,135 Thanks
    lika_86
    There is no way but to end it. If her future career is more important than me I shouldn't be with her anyway.
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    If your irrational jealousy and insecurity is more important than her happiness and self-fulfilment then you shouldn't be with her anyway.
    • barbarawright
    • By barbarawright 16th Sep 17, 6:28 PM
    • 1,666 Posts
    • 3,196 Thanks
    barbarawright
    How would you feel if she told you to change your career because she'd heard some people in it had affairs?
    • NoNoDrama
    • By NoNoDrama 16th Sep 17, 6:31 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 47 Thanks
    NoNoDrama
    How would you feel if she told you to change your career because she'd heard some people in it had affairs?
    Originally posted by barbarawright
    My career is !!!! as is her current one so I wouldn't mind one bit!
    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 16th Sep 17, 6:32 PM
    • 4,475 Posts
    • 6,041 Thanks
    74jax
    She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

    ?
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    You sound like a pathetic prat.

    Very low self esteem and selfish too.

    Do her a favour and end it.

    I call a wind up.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
    • decbel
    • By decbel 16th Sep 17, 6:33 PM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 1,495 Thanks
    decbel
    We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

    ....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

    I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

    She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

    I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

    I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

    My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it?
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    Ok

    How do feel about male midwives?
    • NoNoDrama
    • By NoNoDrama 16th Sep 17, 6:34 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 47 Thanks
    NoNoDrama
    There is 'intimacy' in all sorts of jobs: massage therapist, hairdresser, chiropractor, doctor etc. etc..

    If you don't trust her, you don't trust her. Imposing rules on what kind of job she does or doesn't do isn't going to help. You need to either change your opinion or break up.
    Originally posted by copperclock
    Thanks this is a good post in amongst the expected rubbish. Hairdresser, doctor wouldn't bother me massage therapist couldn't date or chiropractor.
    • NoNoDrama
    • By NoNoDrama 16th Sep 17, 6:36 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 47 Thanks
    NoNoDrama
    [QUOTE=decbel;73134983]Ok

    How do feel about male midwives?[/QUOTE

    I wouldn't put this in the seedy list personally. Nothing sexy about that job
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 16th Sep 17, 6:41 PM
    • 12,714 Posts
    • 16,898 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    We can pretend affairs aren't common in the personal trainer world but we'd all be kidding ourselves, anyone who has worked in a gym will tell you the stories.
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    Oh noes!!! My wife has had two female personal trainers and her current one is male.

    She's obviously been cheating on me.
    Advice; it rhymes with mice. Advise; it rhymes with wise.
    • Loz01
    • By Loz01 16th Sep 17, 6:42 PM
    • 1,426 Posts
    • 3,107 Thanks
    Loz01
    Jeez if you took out the words "personal trainer" you'd think OPs girlfriend was going to be a hooker. You cant be with someone who is in that profession? Wtf?
    An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough
    • Ganga
    • By Ganga 16th Sep 17, 6:45 PM
    • 725 Posts
    • 349 Thanks
    Ganga
    We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

    ....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

    I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

    She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

    I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

    I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

    My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it?
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    I go to the gym most days and there is a female personel trainer who works there,she only works with female members,i would think that most men would prefer a male trainer than a female one,you seem to be a person who has issues,you need to sort yourself out.
    ITS NOT EASY TO GET EVERYTHING WRONG ,I HAVE TO WORK HARD TO DO IT!
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 16th Sep 17, 7:03 PM
    • 947 Posts
    • 1,001 Thanks
    NeilCr

    We can pretend affairs aren't common in the personal trainer world but we'd all be kidding ourselves, anyone who has worked in a gym will tell you the stories.

    I.
    Originally posted by NoNoDrama
    Really

    I use the gym regularly and have a number of friends who work there/arePTs/ are class instructors. They'll all tell you that affairs are not at all common

    Indeed they try to avoid any personal involvement and make sure they remain professional

    Got any empirical evidence for your assertion?
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