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  • FIRST POST
    • VfM4meplse
    • By VfM4meplse 14th Sep 17, 6:26 PM
    • 23,522Posts
    • 49,248Thanks
    VfM4meplse
    Please let me hold your hand...roll on 2018!
    • #1
    • 14th Sep 17, 6:26 PM
    Please let me hold your hand...roll on 2018! 14th Sep 17 at 6:26 PM
    I've had a bit of (good) news today and am going to need some OS handholding for a few weeks. Quite a few weeks

    In fact I can feel the stress coursing through my body right now - so will go for a brisk walk and then fill in the blanks on this post. I need all the practical OS shortcuts I can get!


    Ok, so I'm exercised and showered and have had a chance to think...life's about to get crazy! I am pleased to say that after a long and picky search, it looks like I'm going to finally move back to the shires! (Well, Essex to be precise). If the sale goes through in 13 weeks as I hope that takes us to the the week before Christmas. With slippage, realistically it wil be in the New Year but there is a stack of stuff to do beforehand. Ironically, the only thing I feel I have a handle on is the finances and paperwork!

    The thought of having to pack up the house filled me with dread, there is just so much stuff, much of which I never use! But having thought about it, I know its possible but would appreciate some guidance. I knew I was going to have to economise for at least 12 of the weeks before 2018 but now I've got no choice. Where do I start?

    Food is probably the easiest: no buying it. 3 months to work my way through the freezer. Which is not so easy given that it takes me a week to get through a take-away sized container of soup. The dried goods I'll probably take with me - plenty of space in my new kitchen . Can't wait to pack up my gadgets and bakeware that never get used but equally I don't want to live amongst cardboard boxes for the next few weeks.

    I've got enough toiletries to last me a lifetime. Books are also relatively straightforward. I've got roughly 1,000 and lately have been adding at the rate of 25-30 a month. I am going to have to get a handle on my chazzer craziness. I'll make an exception for the books I've P'inned, but no more buying stuff. My plans are to furnish my excess space with thrifty "antique" furniture that fits in with the style of my new home, so there will be plenty of time for that in 2018. Which is just as well, as there isn't going to be much cash

    Throwing unwanted stuff is relatively easy. Now for the excess. Most of it is packed away in my loft, and I had the intention of getting rid of it. Every penny counts, so I can't afford to give it to charity / stick it on Freecycle . I always meant to start eBaying, but never quite got there. I know it will be straightforward when you get in the swing of things, but also that it requires organisation so how do people do it when they are working full time, commute and making a conscious effort to take time out to exercise? Especially as so much of it is brand new and unused from my glamorous days: shoes, handbags, lingerie and formal dresses. Pre-Christmas is the time it would sell. If I take it with me, it will just hang around for ages and make my new home look untidy.

    And so much kids stuff. What my niece doesn't need, I should get rid of. And then there is clearing the shed...!

    On top of that there is the day to day stuff, there's so much to think about! haven't submitted my tax return for last year, thats the worst job of the year and I hate it . Plus I was looking for another job and I guess that will have to go on hold for now. I know I'll need to create some sort of schedule as I can't afford to waste a single evening but I don't really know quite how to organise Sorting out post, and that sort of thing. And it sounds really silly, but I've got 12 chunky library books on loan to read before I move out of the borough. That takes time too

    It goes without saying that Christmas is cancelled (for me, anyway). I will get help around moving time but I need to make inroads well before then. How long will it take to pack up my home?

    I need to prioritise, and fast. Tried and tested tips, please? And help in keeping me on track....
    Last edited by VfM4meplse; 14-09-2017 at 9:59 PM.
    Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!

    "No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio

    Hope is not a strategy ...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...If in doubt, don't pull out... I love chaz-ing!
Page 5
    • Floss
    • By Floss 9th Oct 17, 5:16 PM
    • 3,918 Posts
    • 31,579 Thanks
    Floss
    I think you should stay positive. If it works out, it was meant to be. If not then there is somewhere better meant for you.

    And quit buying books!
    • Lynplatinum
    • By Lynplatinum 9th Oct 17, 11:22 PM
    • 908 Posts
    • 17,446 Thanks
    Lynplatinum
    Surveys
    Dear VfM4meplse

    When I moved last year the buyers of my house were so put out by the first surveyor's report that they had a second one done - which mentioned none of the 'defects' the previous one had found! neither of them mentioned issues that I told my buyer about (I sold through Tepilo and cant speak highly enough of them). Get a tame builder to at least look at the 'survey' it is often a method of allowing the lender to offer you less should you want/need a mortgage. Not that they arent useful as a 'take into consideration' advice but be aware how much they are trying to cover their own ****

    Moving is an emotional roller coaster.

    But it will be worth it in the end to be by the sea - believe me!
    Wishing you well. tc
    Aim for Sept 17: 20/30 days to be NSDs NSDs July 23/31 (aim 22)
    NSDs 2015:185/330 (allowing for hols etc)
    LBM: started Jan 2012 - still learning!
    Life gives us only lessons and gifts - learn the lesson and it becomes a gift.' from the Bohdavista
    • VfM4meplse
    • By VfM4meplse 10th Oct 17, 12:27 AM
    • 23,522 Posts
    • 49,248 Thanks
    VfM4meplse
    Thanks for your kind words
    I think you should stay positive. If it works out, it was meant to be. If not then there is somewhere better meant for you.

    And quit buying books!
    Originally posted by Floss
    Thats precisely why I bought another two today - was in a soddit kind of mood! And a blouse that was a want, not a need
    Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!

    "No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio

    Hope is not a strategy ...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...If in doubt, don't pull out... I love chaz-ing!
    • MMF007
    • By MMF007 10th Oct 17, 8:13 AM
    • 916 Posts
    • 21,415 Thanks
    MMF007
    Don't despair!
    Firstly, there will usually be more to do than the survey says because you will find poor joinery, rotten woodwork, or cosmetic things you didn't think woold bug you! This will keep your creative mind occupied, deciding how to make the place your own.
    Secondly, if the works mentioned in the survey are required and will only take you 18 months of financial squeeze, that's a very short time to put up with for an amzing end result AND meantime you will be living by the sea, jn an area you love!

    Our survey included the requirement to fit a backboard to the open-tread stairs to comply with building regs. That was just before we moved in, 27 years ago. Not saying anything else, could be incriminating
    I have changed my work-life balance to a life-work balance.
    • PipneyJane
    • By PipneyJane 10th Oct 17, 1:29 PM
    • 582 Posts
    • 3,622 Thanks
    PipneyJane
    I feel a bit subdued today, itís out of my grip and all in the vendorsí hands now.

    Yesterday I was told by someone with the gift that my past plans have been plagued with disappointment, and this is set to continue. Am guessing whatever happens now will be for the best. If I donít think that way, Iíll be quite wretched.
    Originally posted by VfM4meplse

    Excuse me but I am sceptical about this person with "the gift". While I will admit to one or two psychic moments of my own in the past, the statement I have highlighted in red could easily be made to 90% of the adult population of this country who would all think it was an insight into their personal history. You don't need a psychic gift to make that statement, just knowledge of humanity. I hope you didn't pay for the reading.


    Anyway, chin up. Your past does not dictate your future. Even if they gave you specific examples from your earlier life when they made their reading, it does not mean that it will happen again. Hindsight is easy but history does not have to be repeated - you can learn from it, grow and move on. Silence that self-doubt voice now. "What if's" and "if only I'd done xx instead of yy" are easy ways to beat yourself up when you're feeling down.


    Apologies if the above sounds harsh. If you were here in front of me, I'd make you a cup of tea, sit you down for a few minutes, get you to focus on your breathing and give you a neck massage. You've embarked on one of the biggest periods of stress anyone can face - moving home and purchasing a property in England - and your head must be spinning. Ten minutes of meditation/mindfulness-training/anything-that-stills-your-mind will make you feel better and more able to cope.


    Good luck with the move.


    - Pip
    "Be the type of woman that when you get out of bed in the morning, the devil says 'Oh crap. She's up.' "

    C.R.A.P R.O.L.L.Z. #47 Official Brain Harvesting Body Counter
    • LameWolf
    • By LameWolf 10th Oct 17, 1:43 PM
    • 9,772 Posts
    • 105,237 Thanks
    LameWolf
    VfM Listen to Lynplatinum, she speaks a lot of sense (I know her IRL, btw). And I wouldn't set a lot of store by someone's gloomy prognostications, either. You have your OS friends here cheering you on; hang onto that fact.
    LameWolf
    If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
    • Sayschezza
    • By Sayschezza 10th Oct 17, 9:19 PM
    • 159 Posts
    • 1,379 Thanks
    Sayschezza
    And when you start packing mark the boxes with where everything is going both in terms of which room and which cupboard then pack accordingly. Never random pack as it makes unpacking a nightmare. Label the boxes with room/contents and when the removers are putting stuff into your new home, stand at the door and tell them what room it is to go in. I have moved several times and with a fairly large family in tow and I reckon I can be mostly unpacked and with beds made up in 2/3 hours after the removal men have gone.
    • kittie
    • By kittie 10th Oct 17, 9:41 PM
    • 11,128 Posts
    • 62,077 Thanks
    kittie
    This is all so interesting as well as quite scarey, the thought of all that stress ahead. At least I have time to sort now, before I have even seen a house to buy. Vfm, I have always been a great believer of fate, if it is meant to be then it will be,

    Surveys can be very stressful, that surveyor speak. My husband was a structural engineer so I always felt comfortanble wrt building problems but not now, on my own. I have two people I will rope in, one is a very reliable odd job man, the other is a good friend also a structural engineer. Vfm are you having to go through this without a sounding board at home?
    • VfM4meplse
    • By VfM4meplse 13th Oct 17, 3:38 AM
    • 23,522 Posts
    • 49,248 Thanks
    VfM4meplse
    Itís weird how buying a new home can unleash such an emotional response. Am glad of the online advice in managing my crazier moments!

    Iíve had some tough conversations over the past few days and it looks like things are going ahead (this week, at any rate!). I came home this evening to a thick envelope full of paperwork from the solicitor so that will keep me busy for the next couple of days. I still dare not pack though.

    Vfm are you having to go through this without a sounding board at home?
    Originally posted by kittie
    Iím on my own but have supportive parents (who are a key reason for my move back to my hometown). Theyíve encouraged me to think hard but have agreed with me every step of the way. In fact it feels rather strange that they are actually taking me seriously for once! We normally quibble over minor things and itís a bit disconcerting finally being treated like a grown up by your own parents

    The other person I can always trust for good advice coated in a harsh package has been very hands-off, but again has challenged me positively in the major decisions as the plot wefts and weaves its way forwards...
    Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!

    "No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio

    Hope is not a strategy ...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...If in doubt, don't pull out... I love chaz-ing!
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 13th Oct 17, 8:53 AM
    • 3,007 Posts
    • 37,647 Thanks
    monnagran
    You poor dear. Regard any survey, unless you know and trust the person who carried it out, with a shovelful of salt.

    When my brother and I sold my father's bungalow the surveyor nearly gave the buyer a heart attack. He said that the cracks in the concrete path that ran alongside the house had cracks that indicated subsidence.
    Fortunately, my father had bought a bungalow, newly built, just a few yards down the road in 1937 which was our home when we were growing up. That concrete path was, to our certain knowledge , 75 years old.
    It would have been remarkable if there had NOT been a few cracks in it.
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
    • short_bird
    • By short_bird 13th Oct 17, 12:38 PM
    • 1,827 Posts
    • 25,987 Thanks
    short_bird
    I still dare not pack though.
    Originally posted by VfM4meplse
    But you can still get rid of a few things and use up the last bits of toiletries and...
    Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas.
    • Lynplatinum
    • By Lynplatinum 14th Oct 17, 11:11 PM
    • 908 Posts
    • 17,446 Thanks
    Lynplatinum
    Chin up me old fruit!
    Evening VfM4meplse

    Look mate, we all fall by the wayside occasionally - enjoy the shirt to the full

    I have a bright red jacket I bought once, in such a mood! My kids call it the 'go forth and replicate' (but ruder words) red jacket and when I go to any official meeting wearing that jacket - they laugh and say that the person opposing me in that meeting is really really in for it!

    So what can you constructively do? Someone once said to me that success was preparation meeting opportunity! So what if this one falls through - it wasnt meant to be. The universe has something better lined up for you. So get ready for it. Even if you dont want to pack:

    1) get rid of carp you dont want to keep NOW! (you 'll still move with some - I guarantee it! I did !)
    2) line stuff up ready to be packed. Have stuff organised in groups in drawers etc - not all over the place - especially know where your paperwork (car mot/insurance/id etc etc) is.
    3) get all the equipment for packing -Large permanent markers - packing tape - scissors (see lists above) - friends lined up to help

    So when opportunity comes knocking you will be ready!
    As I said - chin up mate - tc
    Aim for Sept 17: 20/30 days to be NSDs NSDs July 23/31 (aim 22)
    NSDs 2015:185/330 (allowing for hols etc)
    LBM: started Jan 2012 - still learning!
    Life gives us only lessons and gifts - learn the lesson and it becomes a gift.' from the Bohdavista
    • VfM4meplse
    • By VfM4meplse 14th Oct 17, 11:56 PM
    • 23,522 Posts
    • 49,248 Thanks
    VfM4meplse
    Not good news today

    Feel overwhelmed by everything, can’t think straight with a blinding tension headache to boot. Am hoping some sleep will help sort things out for me.
    Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!

    "No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio

    Hope is not a strategy ...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...If in doubt, don't pull out... I love chaz-ing!
    • Wednesday2000
    • By Wednesday2000 15th Oct 17, 10:24 AM
    • 1,135 Posts
    • 5,911 Thanks
    Wednesday2000
    I hope you feel a bit better today.xx
    "It doesn't cost any more to dream big."
    • LameWolf
    • By LameWolf 15th Oct 17, 11:34 AM
    • 9,772 Posts
    • 105,237 Thanks
    LameWolf
    I hope you feel a bit better today.xx
    Originally posted by Wednesday2000
    ^ ^ ^ Wot she said. With a tartan ribbon on. x
    LameWolf
    If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
    • VfM4meplse
    • By VfM4meplse 15th Oct 17, 11:55 PM
    • 23,522 Posts
    • 49,248 Thanks
    VfM4meplse
    I hope you feel a bit better today.xx
    Originally posted by Wednesday2000
    ^ ^ ^ Wot she said. With a tartan ribbon on. x
    Originally posted by LameWolf
    I do, thank you. Have no doubt that my throbbing head was a direct result of developments.

    I let myself think about other things today and felt a lot more detached as a result. Another night’s sleep will help I think. This whole situation feels like my very own Brexit!
    Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!

    "No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio

    Hope is not a strategy ...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...If in doubt, don't pull out... I love chaz-ing!
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