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  • FIRST POST
    • alxmryjn
    • By alxmryjn 12th Sep 17, 11:26 PM
    • 4Posts
    • 0Thanks
    alxmryjn
    Need help with partners debts ... !
    • #1
    • 12th Sep 17, 11:26 PM
    Need help with partners debts ... ! 12th Sep 17 at 11:26 PM
    Hi guys,

    So I hate to do this and it makes me feel like I'm awful but I want to help my boyfriend and things haven't gone too smoothly so far. He has around 12,000 in debt with various creditors, he works around 40 hours a week and the outgoing is still around £200 more than the income.

    I'm a full time student and I work 30 hours a week too - his debt is nothing to do with me but I am trying to help him, but I don't count our household income collectively as I personally have my own things to pay for.

    So here's a breakdown, I'll post his share of the breakdown, as we halve mostly everything.

    rent - £250
    all bills inc. council tax - £150
    food - £60 (including our kitten food but I pay all their vets bills)
    mobile - £10
    tv/entertainment - £13
    car/insurance - £298
    car (his mother's payment) - £118.20
    barclay card - £81
    vanquis card - £90
    aqua card - £20

    (all per month, all his share, double those figures and it would be the total between us both)

    total cost of the cards and car finances;
    barclay - £1982
    vanquis - £1452
    aqua - £770
    mothers car - £3886
    his car - £ 5195

    His monthly income is around £1100

    BEFORE we go any further - there are two cars here on finance, I won't elaborate on what the issue is and why his mother's car debt is in his name as that's personal, it's can't be wiped, transferred or sold back to the creditor a so i'd appreciate no rude comments on this area please. Very often, she can't pay her share.

    I'm really not sure what to do. I'm going to pay off his aqua card with my student loan this month because i feel so stuck here and this isn't what i imagined my life would be like, i really care about him and i can't cope with seeing him in the state he is in, but it starting to affect my health and my happiness and I feel like our future is going to be ruined by these debts. I'm desperate.

    Stepchange have been useless so far, everything feels terrible
Page 1
    • Bewildered Banshee
    • By Bewildered Banshee 12th Sep 17, 11:36 PM
    • 31 Posts
    • 25 Thanks
    Bewildered Banshee
    • #2
    • 12th Sep 17, 11:36 PM
    • #2
    • 12th Sep 17, 11:36 PM
    What did Step change suggest?
    • alxmryjn
    • By alxmryjn 12th Sep 17, 11:43 PM
    • 4 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    alxmryjn
    • #3
    • 12th Sep 17, 11:43 PM
    • #3
    • 12th Sep 17, 11:43 PM
    They mentioned telling creditors he can't pay anymore than £1 per month, which is useless because we want them gone...
    • alxmryjn
    • By alxmryjn 12th Sep 17, 11:43 PM
    • 4 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    alxmryjn
    • #4
    • 12th Sep 17, 11:43 PM
    • #4
    • 12th Sep 17, 11:43 PM
    They mentioned telling creditors he can't pay anymore than £1 per month, which is useless because we want them gone...
    • sourcrates
    • By sourcrates 13th Sep 17, 12:05 AM
    • 12,402 Posts
    • 11,816 Thanks
    sourcrates
    • #5
    • 13th Sep 17, 12:05 AM
    • #5
    • 13th Sep 17, 12:05 AM
    Hi,

    To be fair to stepchange, your boyfriend is insolvent, his income does not cover his debts.

    There are only the debt solutions laid down by parliament, there are no magic solutions here unfortunately.

    A properly formatted SOA would give us a clearer picture of the situation :

    http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

    They have recommended £1 a month as at present no other solution looks viable.

    Do the SOA and format it for MSE when prompted and we'll see what can be done.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File And Ratings, and
    Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. "I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly".
    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, or, CAB.
    For Legal advice see : http://legalbeagles.info/
    • alxmryjn
    • By alxmryjn 13th Sep 17, 12:28 AM
    • 4 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    alxmryjn
    • #6
    • 13th Sep 17, 12:28 AM
    • #6
    • 13th Sep 17, 12:28 AM
    I do understand why they are suggesting this, problem is it just feels like a dead end - we aren't married and haven't been together two years yet and only just moved in together, I was aware of the debts but under the impression the total was 7k not 12k. I'll have to get my partner to have a look at the SOA as there are some bits I can't answer - I just don't know how else this can be fixed because it genuinely doesn't feel like it can.
    • Bewildered Banshee
    • By Bewildered Banshee 13th Sep 17, 7:52 AM
    • 31 Posts
    • 25 Thanks
    Bewildered Banshee
    • #7
    • 13th Sep 17, 7:52 AM
    • #7
    • 13th Sep 17, 7:52 AM
    Unfortunately there is no magic bullet, which is why step change have suggested token payments I would think.
    Your boyfriend doesn't have enough income to service the debts.
    Post the soa once it's done and I'm sure more savvy people will help.
    • TeaRex
    • By TeaRex 13th Sep 17, 5:54 PM
    • 40 Posts
    • 97 Thanks
    TeaRex
    • #8
    • 13th Sep 17, 5:54 PM
    • #8
    • 13th Sep 17, 5:54 PM
    Cant offer much advice but please don't start paying his debts for him..

    Coming from experience, I took out multiple loans and credit cards to help my ex partner out, he didn't learn anything from it, did not change his spending habits or anything as he just knew I was like a bank he could use, when we split after being together for 10 years he walked away owing nothing and I owed £20k+

    Just think carefully before you start giving your money away, especially as its your student loan. It will be tough for him to go through this hard time and obviously you can be supportive but he won't change if people bail him out.

    Good luck
    June 2015 Debt - £23643 // Nov 2017 Debt - £1950
    Sealed Pot Challenge Member - 584
  • National Debtline
    • #9
    • 13th Sep 17, 6:11 PM
    • #9
    • 13th Sep 17, 6:11 PM
    Hi there,


    I noticed from your original post that you mentioned you are considering using your student loan to help pay off one of the debts (you mentioned the Aqua card) but, before you do that, you need to consider carefully, how would you manage over the next 3 months without that £770? If you are left without enough money to support yourself over this time then the situation is no further resolved. In fact, you may up using credit when you would've used your student loan, meaning you repay more interest.


    You also mentioned that your 'hands are tied' with regard to some debts, such as the car. If that is the case it will eliminate other options such as a Debt Relief Order to get the debts written off and may only leave token offers as a solution for the debts. I also appreciate that you mention the car has personal issues tied up within it, and you are reluctant to discuss that element of things, but as it is one of the biggest outlays it may be worth talking about this again with another debt charity.

    I will mention very briefly that most car agreements will be hire purchase/ conditional sale or a fixed sum loan agreement. Conditional sale agreements can be voluntarily terminated (if you are up to date) to return the vehicle and limit liability. And if the car is only subject to a loan it could be sold to clear the debt and purchase a cheaper vehicle (if 2 are essential). I accept these options may not be 100% suitable, but it is important to explore as many options as possible. Best of luck,


    Laura
    @natdebtline
    We work as money advisers for National Debtline and have specific permission from MSE to post to try to help those in debt. Read more information on National Debtline in MSE's Debt Problems: What to do and where to get help guide. If you find you're struggling with debt and need further help try our online advice tool My Money Steps
    • elsien
    • By elsien 13th Sep 17, 6:13 PM
    • 15,282 Posts
    • 38,362 Thanks
    elsien
    Can your boyfriend get a second job at evenings and weekends to pay towards the debt?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Mnd
    • By Mnd 13th Sep 17, 6:37 PM
    • 226 Posts
    • 260 Thanks
    Mnd
    Is that correct £3500 a year on car expenses each?
    • zippygeorgeandben
    • By zippygeorgeandben 13th Sep 17, 7:33 PM
    • 707 Posts
    • 882 Thanks
    zippygeorgeandben
    Has he actually said he wants help with his debts? You can't make people see the light.
    End Sep 2016 End Oct 2017
    £8236.57 £0
    (Tesco 4.8%) £0pcm
    £6185.75 £0(Zopa 4.0%) £0pcm

    £5344.50
    £2610.04 (Sainsburys 0% until 06/19) £140pcm
    £2000.00 £1066.69 (Sister 0%) £133.33pcm

    Total debt
    £19.766.82 £3676.73 Original DFD May 2019.
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