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  • FIRST POST
    • johnash1
    • By johnash1 9th Sep 17, 4:16 PM
    • 4Posts
    • 0Thanks
    johnash1
    how would my finances be split after a short marridge
    • #1
    • 9th Sep 17, 4:16 PM
    how would my finances be split after a short marridge 9th Sep 17 at 4:16 PM
    hello I'm hoping you guys can help me with what may happen to our finances after divorce and what's the best way to go about this?

    Basically myself and my wife got married in march an during this time we've struggled with a miscarriage which has led to 1 thing to the next. I would like to work our marriage out and not quit at it so early! however she just want to end things. We've started counselling but she doesn't seem committed to making us work and I get the impression from the councillor that she doesn't think we'd work out long term.

    Obviously our 2 year old son in my main priority, by not unsettling him too much /as little as possible. When we brought our house in 2014 we paid £145k (now worth 180k according to zoopla) I put down all the deposit 37k(from memory) paid all the legal fees etc. . We set up an declaration of trust she was pregnant at the time of signing this(not sure if that have any implications) protecting my deposit and split the equity in the property 80/20% in my favour. at the time we worked out I paid 80% of all house bill mortgage ect.. while she paid 20% obviously this stopped when our son was born and I paid all bills, maintenance everything for the 3 of us(it is a struggle but just doable). Because its a short marriage will the terms of the trust still stand? if not what will the likely outcome be?

    she wants to sell the home but I'm not sure what/how things will be split. I think I'd like to buy her share out so our son still has his home and thus don't unsettle him too much. with possibly selling later on. But if buy her out would I have to pay things like stamp duty again and get a new mortgage agreement?

    I also have 10k in savings, and own our car worth approx. 4k. also I brought all furniture and white goods, I'm not sure if this would be split. my savings is what I saved before we met over 6 years ago, same as our deposit.
Page 1
    • Jamiehelsinki
    • By Jamiehelsinki 9th Sep 17, 4:39 PM
    • 99 Posts
    • 151 Thanks
    Jamiehelsinki
    • #2
    • 9th Sep 17, 4:39 PM
    • #2
    • 9th Sep 17, 4:39 PM
    How long were you living together before the marriage? (This time counts)

    If you have a son with your wife then you will probably get hit for six.

    Zoopla valuation are usually way out by the way.

    If she wants to sell the home then I would personally before she changes her mind.
    • johnash1
    • By johnash1 9th Sep 17, 4:50 PM
    • 4 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    johnash1
    • #3
    • 9th Sep 17, 4:50 PM
    • #3
    • 9th Sep 17, 4:50 PM
    we got together jan 2012, we started living together in may 2013(rented), and brought our house oct 2014, son was born june 15

    my idea of of buying her out is that I know the house needs fully redecorating and some basic maintenance carried out which I would do myself, so hoping the house would be valued less than what I could sell it on for in future once its redecorated ect.. and I want my son to know what he's doing/staying
    • theoretica
    • By theoretica 9th Sep 17, 7:44 PM
    • 4,917 Posts
    • 6,143 Thanks
    theoretica
    • #4
    • 9th Sep 17, 7:44 PM
    • #4
    • 9th Sep 17, 7:44 PM
    Will you be the primary carer for your son?
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
    • DigForVictory
    • By DigForVictory 9th Sep 17, 9:45 PM
    • 7,148 Posts
    • 19,463 Thanks
    DigForVictory
    • #5
    • 9th Sep 17, 9:45 PM
    • #5
    • 9th Sep 17, 9:45 PM
    I'm very sorry to hear your family is on the edge of breakdown. It is very tough, for everyone.
    It is possible that if you cooperate in full with your wife, you can achieve a complete financial split, but as your son ages & his needs change, I wouldn't count on it.
    As for how your finances will be affected - well, as I understand it, the theory runs 50/50 Everything but then there's another pass for the care of the child. (I'm sure more knowledgeable folk will be along shortly.) The problem is both immediate & longer term in that if you try to hang onto anything from before marriage, reasonable though it may seem, it will almost certainly come back to bite you later.
    Although pretty much breathing might - much depends on how well your wife copes with being a single mum (I'm stepping past your understandable wish to stay married, & even keep the family home together - as frankly your post doesn't sound hopeful on either count.)

    Get a free halfhour with a family solicitor & have your eyes opened to the minefield ahead. You may be able to find a solicitor who is able to get most of your desires onto the record, so that in future when you are accused of almost anything you can at least point to "look, I tried". In another 16-18 years that may be important to your relationship with your son - it may certainly help you get through the next few months & years.

    Wishing you the very best of luck.
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 9th Sep 17, 10:00 PM
    • 1,178 Posts
    • 4,218 Thanks
    lika_86
    • #6
    • 9th Sep 17, 10:00 PM
    • #6
    • 9th Sep 17, 10:00 PM
    For a start, you can't get a divorce until you've been married at least a year.

    For someone who apparently wants to work things out, you seem awfully keen to split up and sort things out. You only got married in March which presumably means that things were ok then and you've had a very sad thing happen to you both since then. Maybe for now you need to see how things go when you have both had a bit more time to grieve and adjust. It sounds like you're in counselling, which is a good start.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 10th Sep 17, 12:46 PM
    • 3,854 Posts
    • 2,866 Thanks
    sheramber
    • #7
    • 10th Sep 17, 12:46 PM
    • #7
    • 10th Sep 17, 12:46 PM
    you need grounds for divorce

    https://www.gov.uk/divorce/grounds-for-divorce
    • theguru
    • By theguru 19th Sep 17, 4:35 AM
    • 604 Posts
    • 328 Thanks
    theguru
    • #8
    • 19th Sep 17, 4:35 AM
    • #8
    • 19th Sep 17, 4:35 AM
    If you can walk away with 50/50 then do that, believe me I was shocked after sitting down my solicitor and been told I could potentially walk away with 30% as we had a child and a broken 3 year marriage.

    Like you it was me that put all the deposits into the house from the sale of my old house, savings plans and selling shares...
    • lauretta
    • By lauretta 19th Sep 17, 8:55 AM
    • 18 Posts
    • 40 Thanks
    lauretta
    • #9
    • 19th Sep 17, 8:55 AM
    • #9
    • 19th Sep 17, 8:55 AM
    I think you know how the finances will be split - 50:50 plus consideration for your son - but you are posting on here to see if anyone knows a way you can slither out of the obligation.

    Personally I think you deserve each other. You: because, after a three year relationship, and your partner being pregnant with your baby, you tried to get her to sign away her rights when buying a house together. Her: because your mean streak about still seeing money as "yours" has obviously rankled with her, and she's decided that the best revenge is to take the house and get rid of you! Charming behaviour on both sides.

    If you are so mean spirited towards those who shared a life with you, how will you feel when the lawyers start taking your money?
    • Ozzuk
    • By Ozzuk 19th Sep 17, 9:19 AM
    • 1,145 Posts
    • 1,675 Thanks
    Ozzuk
    I think you know how the finances will be split - 50:50 plus consideration for your son - but you are posting on here to see if anyone knows a way you can slither out of the obligation.

    Personally I think you deserve each other. You: because, after a three year relationship, and your partner being pregnant with your baby, you tried to get her to sign away her rights when buying a house together. Her: because your mean streak about still seeing money as "yours" has obviously rankled with her, and she's decided that the best revenge is to take the house and get rid of you! Charming behaviour on both sides.

    If you are so mean spirited towards those who shared a life with you, how will you feel when the lawyers start taking your money?
    Originally posted by lauretta
    Wow.

    Anyway...more importantly what have you and your wife agreed? What are your relative salaries? If you earn a lot more it might be fairer to make the split more in her favour, perhaps in return she gives up any pension rights. It also matters who is primary carer, you may not be able to sell the house if she decides to stay there until the child is 18.

    Try and keep it amicable, protecting your deposit doesn't seem unreasonable but the whole pot/earning potential/savings/child placement should be considered and a financial split agreement drawn up.
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 19th Sep 17, 7:40 PM
    • 7,783 Posts
    • 26,092 Thanks
    Primrose
    Just be aware that if your marriage fails and your wife ends up staying in the house until your child is 18 and the house is then sold you will have to pay capital gains tax on your share of any profit from the equity because it is not your prime residence.
    • andydownes123
    • By andydownes123 20th Sep 17, 10:33 AM
    • 101 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    andydownes123
    we got together jan 2012, we started living together in may 2013(rented), and brought our house oct 2014, son was born june 15

    my idea of of buying her out is that I know the house needs fully redecorating and some basic maintenance carried out which I would do myself, so hoping the house would be valued less than what I could sell it on for in future once its redecorated ect.. and I want my son to know what he's doing/staying
    Originally posted by johnash1
    Buying her out? More chance of her asking you to leave and you getting a place of your own. High likelyhood of you getting your house settlement when your child is eighteen.
    • mark5
    • By mark5 20th Sep 17, 4:24 PM
    • 1,194 Posts
    • 811 Thanks
    mark5
    How long were you living together before the marriage? (This time counts)

    If you have a son with your wife then you will probably get hit for six.

    Zoopla valuation are usually way out by the way.

    If she wants to sell the home then I would personally before she changes her mind.
    Originally posted by Jamiehelsinki
    As stated above, if your ex is prepared to sell at the moment then I wouldn't hesitate to get the house sold asap.

    It's your best chance of getting a decent split of the equity now and not a long time in the future.
    • ~Gabriel
    • By ~Gabriel 20th Sep 17, 4:38 PM
    • 53 Posts
    • 65 Thanks
    ~Gabriel
    marridge? Is that like porridge?
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