Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 8th Sep 17, 4:21 PM
    • 168Posts
    • 50Thanks
    himynameisaaron
    Brother problems
    • #1
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:21 PM
    Brother problems 8th Sep 17 at 4:21 PM
    Hi

    Had a conversation with my brother today regarding him purchasing a car, he is currently at the dealership with my mum and started asking me questions like "Is it okay to put you down as a family member?", and about work income and how much I receive each month between my two jobs. I then started to be suspicious because he wanted to know my sort code and account number.

    Now, would this be for a regular Direct Debit whereby if he fails to make a payment then he will come to me or would it be just a quick credit check? I wish I never gave him all those details now because he never told me what he was doing with the bank details, so am not really happy.

    I don't want to ask him why he needs all those details without wanting a second opinion first.
    Last edited by himynameisaaron; 08-09-2017 at 4:26 PM.
Page 6
    • elsien
    • By elsien 14th Sep 17, 6:48 PM
    • 15,044 Posts
    • 37,612 Thanks
    elsien
    Unless I've misunderstood though, mum isn't taking any of Aaron's money. He isn't paying her any keep. Do you not think there is a possibility that she is applying for PIP for you to give you more money? I know it's not want you want her to do, but isn't it possible she believes she's doing it in your best interests?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 14th Sep 17, 8:54 PM
    • 168 Posts
    • 50 Thanks
    himynameisaaron
    Unless I've misunderstood though, mum isn't taking any of Aaron's money. He isn't paying her any keep. Do you not think there is a possibility that she is applying for PIP for you to give you more money? I know it's not want you want her to do, but isn't it possible she believes she's doing it in your best interests?
    Originally posted by elsien
    Hi Elsien

    You speak a lot of sense. That may be the case regarding me not paying her any keep as when you get to my age (25) you cannot leave at your parents and make use of their electricality, food, showers etc free of charge. Parents work hard for us and want it in my best interests to live a positive lifestyle.

    As of tonight, I'm going to pay her £25 per week through PayPal without consulting her whether it's a fair amount, which it sounds like it is - as way of apology to prevent her from moaning at me that I'm not paying her any rent, and just for the sake of living here with her as well.

    Because she's at work tonight too, so I guess it'll be a nice surprise for her too. I've not mentioned this, but she is a single parent and you know how that is, they struggle financially as well as mentally on their own and need aid from whoever they can get hold of, whether that be their sons/daughters.
    Last edited by himynameisaaron; 14-09-2017 at 9:02 PM.
    • Ames
    • By Ames 14th Sep 17, 10:01 PM
    • 16,252 Posts
    • 28,377 Thanks
    Ames
    If you want to pay her it would be better to do it straight to her bank account. Paypal charge fees and you have to withdraw it, whereas a bank transfer is pretty much instant.
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.

    Reading the alphabet in 2017. 21/100
    ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 14th Sep 17, 10:15 PM
    • 168 Posts
    • 50 Thanks
    himynameisaaron
    If you want to pay her it would be better to do it straight to her bank account. Paypal charge fees and you have to withdraw it, whereas a bank transfer is pretty much instant.
    Originally posted by Ames
    PayPal don't charge no fees for sending to family and friends according to their app. I've literally just tried it and no fee was charged.
    Last edited by himynameisaaron; 14-09-2017 at 10:27 PM.
    • Ames
    • By Ames 14th Sep 17, 10:49 PM
    • 16,252 Posts
    • 28,377 Thanks
    Ames
    I don't know if the rules are different for family and friends, but I know they don't charge anything to send money but they usually charge to receive it.
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.

    Reading the alphabet in 2017. 21/100
    ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
    • Bath cube
    • By Bath cube 14th Sep 17, 11:11 PM
    • 127 Posts
    • 68 Thanks
    Bath cube
    If it doesn't feel right then don't do it. Trust your instincts. I'm lucky to have a very honest brother but he is held back in life by my over bearing father. However I have a very lazy sponging cousin so I do empathise with you. I wish you well with your decision.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 15th Sep 17, 8:24 AM
    • 17,605 Posts
    • 44,823 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Hi Elsien

    You speak a lot of sense. That may be the case regarding me not paying her any keep as when you get to my age (25) you cannot leave at your parents and make use of their electricality, food, showers etc free of charge. Parents work hard for us and want it in my best interests to live a positive lifestyle.

    As of tonight, I'm going to pay her £25 per week through PayPal without consulting her whether it's a fair amount, which it sounds like it is - as way of apology to prevent her from moaning at me that I'm not paying her any rent, and just for the sake of living here with her as well.

    Because she's at work tonight too, so I guess it'll be a nice surprise for her too. I've not mentioned this, but she is a single parent and you know how that is, they struggle financially as well as mentally on their own and need aid from whoever they can get hold of, whether that be their sons/daughters.
    Originally posted by himynameisaaron
    Why paypal?

    Why not just give her the money?
    Or pop it in an envelope and leave it with her handbag?

    You seem to be making this more complicated than (I think) it needs to be.
    • Monika333
    • By Monika333 15th Sep 17, 6:55 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Monika333
    I should speak to your bank immediatelyand tell them yiunsuspect a family member may have named you as a guarantor without your permission. Better, still, take a letter down to your bank so that they have something in writing. An if you know garage in question phone them NOW and find out exactly how the information your brother gave them is being used
    Originally posted by Primrose
    I think, addressing your bank can help to siolve your problem. They can help you to keep your details in secure, so your brother won't be able use them.
    • maman
    • By maman 15th Sep 17, 9:50 PM
    • 16,622 Posts
    • 99,275 Thanks
    maman
    Not sure if I missed something but why only £25?

    Although I have little sympathy with your mother if she's fiddling the benefit system, you should be paying your way. That figure wouldn't cover even your share of food and household bills.
    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 16th Sep 17, 9:57 AM
    • 168 Posts
    • 50 Thanks
    himynameisaaron
    Not sure if I missed something but why only £25?

    Although I have little sympathy with your mother if she's fiddling the benefit system, you should be paying your way. That figure wouldn't cover even your share of food and household bills.
    Originally posted by maman
    Because I work part-time on an eight hour contract and six hours at the other job, also part-time. That equates to £427 per month on a £7.05 NWM.

    If I paid £50 each week then that income wouldn't cover it as that would also mean I'd be out of pocket, because I have an expensive mobile phone contract to pay for as well as a monthly bus ticket.
    • RUSS56
    • By RUSS56 16th Sep 17, 10:25 AM
    • 22 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    RUSS56
    I,m ex motor trade after 25 years Bmw and landrover and I was Finance and Insurance Business Manager throughout .
    If I were you I would get straight onto the finance house and voice your concerns because to me as other guys on here have said sounds that if he fails to pay YOU WILL !!!
    If you do not want to speak to your brother speak to the dealership/garage it was baought from or being bought from and get the name of the finance house OR failing that get them to HPI the reg number
    That will give the name of finance company and an agreement number if its that far ahead !!
    If you dont ? This could cost you a fortune and kill your credit rating too !!!!!
    • maman
    • By maman 16th Sep 17, 12:28 PM
    • 16,622 Posts
    • 99,275 Thanks
    maman
    Because I work part-time on an eight hour contract and six hours at the other job, also part-time. That equates to £427 per month on a £7.05 NWM.

    If I paid £50 each week then that income wouldn't cover it as that would also mean I'd be out of pocket, because I have an expensive mobile phone contract to pay for as well as a monthly bus ticket.
    Originally posted by himynameisaaron

    I understand the arithmetic but £25 a week can only be a gesture. It doesn't begin to cover what it must be costing your mother. So (although as I said before) while I can't condone her trying to defraud the system I can see why she's keen for you to supplement your income with benefits.
    • ViolaLass
    • By ViolaLass 16th Sep 17, 3:00 PM
    • 5,015 Posts
    • 6,936 Thanks
    ViolaLass
    Because I work part-time on an eight hour contract and six hours at the other job, also part-time. That equates to £427 per month on a £7.05 NWM.

    If I paid £50 each week then that income wouldn't cover it as that would also mean I'd be out of pocket, because I have an expensive mobile phone contract to pay for as well as a monthly bus ticket.
    Originally posted by himynameisaaron
    That phone contract must be very expensive then! When will you be able to switch to a cheaper one?
    • AylesburyDuck
    • By AylesburyDuck 16th Sep 17, 4:28 PM
    • 669 Posts
    • 1,522 Thanks
    AylesburyDuck
    I,m ex motor trade after 25 years Bmw and landrover and I was Finance and Insurance Business Manager throughout .
    If I were you I would get straight onto the finance house and voice your concerns because to me as other guys on here have said sounds that if he fails to pay YOU WILL !!!
    If you do not want to speak to your brother speak to the dealership/garage it was baought from or being bought from and get the name of the finance house OR failing that get them to HPI the reg number
    That will give the name of finance company and an agreement number if its that far ahead !!
    If you dont ? This could cost you a fortune and kill your credit rating too !!!!!
    Originally posted by RUSS56
    Surely you have to sign to agree to do this, there must be something in place to safeguard against fraud. Otherwise the garage could be liable for fraud surely?
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 16th Sep 17, 8:39 PM
    • 168 Posts
    • 50 Thanks
    himynameisaaron
    That phone contract must be very expensive then! When will you be able to switch to a cheaper one?
    Originally posted by ViolaLass
    I began my contract in July 2017 for £47.99 per month (iPhone 7 Plus) on EE and won't be able to transfer to a cheaper tarriff until 2019.
    • IAmWales
    • By IAmWales 16th Sep 17, 8:48 PM
    • 1,171 Posts
    • 2,518 Thanks
    IAmWales
    I understand the arithmetic but £25 a week can only be a gesture. It doesn't begin to cover what it must be costing your mother. So (although as I said before) while I can't condone her trying to defraud the system I can see why she's keen for you to supplement your income with benefits.
    Originally posted by maman
    He is already supplementing her by the additional benefits she is claiming by virtue of his (much exaggerated by her) condition!

    I do wish you'd get some help with this OP. This thread is turning into the same old suspects picking fault, they're not trying to be helpful they're just bored with their own lives. Talk to someone you can trust.
    Last edited by IAmWales; 16-09-2017 at 8:50 PM.
    • maman
    • By maman 16th Sep 17, 10:04 PM
    • 16,622 Posts
    • 99,275 Thanks
    maman
    He is already supplementing her by the additional benefits she is claiming by virtue of his (much exaggerated by her) condition!

    I do wish you'd get some help with this OP. This thread is turning into the same old suspects picking fault, they're not trying to be helpful they're just bored with their own lives. Talk to someone you can trust.
    Originally posted by IAmWales
    Apologies. I've only read this thread about the brother's car and am unfamiliar with which benefits OP has. So his mother has benefits specifically to look after him rather than money that goes to him directly?
    • *max*
    • By *max* 16th Sep 17, 10:18 PM
    • 2,799 Posts
    • 13,140 Thanks
    *max*
    Apologies. I've only read this thread about the brother's car and am unfamiliar with which benefits OP has. So his mother has benefits specifically to look after him rather than money that goes to him directly?
    Originally posted by maman
    Ignoring the mum's potential attitude (and we don't know that she's exaggerating his condition, OP may have an over-inflated sense of his own capacities with regards to everyday life living), I can see why she would want to maximise the financial help she gets for him living with her, since he's not been paying keep and has a nearly £50 a month phone contract while working 8hrs a week on minimum wage. That's not the sign of a financially savvy person at all, to put it mildly.
    • Ames
    • By Ames 16th Sep 17, 10:34 PM
    • 16,252 Posts
    • 28,377 Thanks
    Ames
    Apologies. I've only read this thread about the brother's car and am unfamiliar with which benefits OP has. So his mother has benefits specifically to look after him rather than money that goes to him directly?
    Originally posted by maman
    His mum is his appointee for benefits and claims PIP for Aaron. The money goes into her account. I'm not sure whether she keeps it or passes some or all onto him.
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.

    Reading the alphabet in 2017. 21/100
    ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
    • maman
    • By maman 16th Sep 17, 10:49 PM
    • 16,622 Posts
    • 99,275 Thanks
    maman
    His mum is his appointee for benefits and claims PIP for Aaron. The money goes into her account. I'm not sure whether she keeps it or passes some or all onto him.
    Originally posted by Ames
    Thanks for explaining. It would seem that from the breakdown he gave earlier of his finances and why he has only given £25 that she keeps it.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

5,070Posts Today

4,551Users online

Martin's Twitter