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    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 8th Sep 17, 4:21 PM
    • 168Posts
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    himynameisaaron
    Brother problems
    • #1
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:21 PM
    Brother problems 8th Sep 17 at 4:21 PM
    Hi

    Had a conversation with my brother today regarding him purchasing a car, he is currently at the dealership with my mum and started asking me questions like "Is it okay to put you down as a family member?", and about work income and how much I receive each month between my two jobs. I then started to be suspicious because he wanted to know my sort code and account number.

    Now, would this be for a regular Direct Debit whereby if he fails to make a payment then he will come to me or would it be just a quick credit check? I wish I never gave him all those details now because he never told me what he was doing with the bank details, so am not really happy.

    I don't want to ask him why he needs all those details without wanting a second opinion first.
    Last edited by himynameisaaron; 08-09-2017 at 4:26 PM.
Page 1
    • ViolaLass
    • By ViolaLass 8th Sep 17, 4:33 PM
    • 5,015 Posts
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    ViolaLass
    • #2
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:33 PM
    • #2
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:33 PM
    Ask. Now.

    .
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 8th Sep 17, 4:35 PM
    • 9,507 Posts
    • 11,988 Thanks
    hazyjo
    • #3
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:35 PM
    • #3
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:35 PM
    Are you down as a guarantor?! I would be extremely wary! Think very carefully about what you actually said - hopefully nothing is valid unless on paper, but you never know. I certainly wouldn't have given any financial details!
    2017 wins: Opera tickets; film preview; lipstick; Ideal Home Show tickets + afternoon tea & bottle of Champagne; 2 cases of NKD; notebook; bath rack; books; film Premiere; Broadchurch DVDs; lipbalms; hamper (food/wine/Echo Dot/Jo Malone goodies); Avon lippies; cowhide rug; Windsor luxury break, foundation
    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 8th Sep 17, 4:38 PM
    • 168 Posts
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    himynameisaaron
    • #4
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:38 PM
    • #4
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:38 PM
    Are you down as a guarantor?! I would be extremely wary! Think very carefully about what you actually said - hopefully nothing is valid unless on paper, but you never know. I certainly wouldn't have given any financial details!
    Originally posted by hazyjo
    I'm assuming he's put me down as a guarantor because why else would he need the sort code and account number other than to set up a Direct Debit.

    I am feeling wary, and considering he earns twice as much because he's in the Army I struggle to understand why he feels the need to ask such information. However, considering I have two jobs maybe he is using me at the best of my advantage.

    My mum is a right ***** and also have a feeling she's putting ideas inside his head: "Why don't you ask Aaron, because he doesn't pay me lodge".
    Last edited by himynameisaaron; 08-09-2017 at 4:41 PM.
    • ViolaLass
    • By ViolaLass 8th Sep 17, 4:51 PM
    • 5,015 Posts
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    ViolaLass
    • #5
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:51 PM
    • #5
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:51 PM
    Wouldn't have thought you could be down as guarantor without signing something but I can't think of any good reasons to need the info. Ask.
    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 8th Sep 17, 4:54 PM
    • 168 Posts
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    himynameisaaron
    • #6
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:54 PM
    • #6
    • 8th Sep 17, 4:54 PM
    Wouldn't have thought you could be down as guarantor without signing something but I can't think of any good reasons to need the info. Ask.
    Originally posted by ViolaLass
    Me either. He's obviously going to try get me to pay for his Direct Debits as that is the only two bits of financial details he needs.

    Should I cancel my card and request a new one
    Last edited by himynameisaaron; 08-09-2017 at 4:56 PM.
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 8th Sep 17, 5:09 PM
    • 7,599 Posts
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    Primrose
    • #7
    • 8th Sep 17, 5:09 PM
    • #7
    • 8th Sep 17, 5:09 PM
    I should speak to your bank immediatelyand tell them yiunsuspect a family member may have named you as a guarantor without your permission. Better, still, take a letter down to your bank so that they have something in writing. An if you know garage in question phone them NOW and find out exactly how the information your brother gave them is being used
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 8th Sep 17, 5:20 PM
    • 35,863 Posts
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    silvercar
    • #8
    • 8th Sep 17, 5:20 PM
    • #8
    • 8th Sep 17, 5:20 PM
    Are you sure your brother is financing this in his name, not yours?
    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 8th Sep 17, 5:23 PM
    • 168 Posts
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    himynameisaaron
    • #9
    • 8th Sep 17, 5:23 PM
    • #9
    • 8th Sep 17, 5:23 PM
    Are you sure your brother is financing this in his name, not yours?
    Originally posted by silvercar
    He will be financing this in his name probably, it's just the bank details he needed from me which is puzzling (which I gave him.)
    Last edited by himynameisaaron; 08-09-2017 at 5:30 PM.
    • melanzana
    • By melanzana 8th Sep 17, 5:32 PM
    • 2,367 Posts
    • 6,662 Thanks
    melanzana
    Sorry OP, but the basic rules are that you do not give out your bank details to anyone unless you are positive about the recipient, standing orders for bills etc come to mind.

    You know this, otherwise you would not be posting here.

    Sounds like there is a bit of aggro going on with Mum. Why is she saying that you didn't pay for lodging with her, so she said to brother... let's get Aaron, or am I missing something?

    I hope you did not give any personal details.

    I would not.

    Neither a borrower nor a lender be. So true.

    Back away now.
    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 8th Sep 17, 5:49 PM
    • 168 Posts
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    himynameisaaron
    Thanks everyone. I have learned the hard way and am going to cancel and request a new card.
    • edwink
    • By edwink 8th Sep 17, 5:50 PM
    • 1,648 Posts
    • 11,690 Thanks
    edwink
    Did he take your mum as she was happy to be his guarantor but they wouldn't allow her to for some reason? So now he is getting you to do it instead. Saying that as someone has already pointed out surely you would be required to sign something first.

    Surely he should have asked your permission first anyhow.

    I would be very wary if I were you.


    Look after yourself x
    Last edited by edwink; 08-09-2017 at 10:27 PM.
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    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 8th Sep 17, 5:52 PM
    • 3,323 Posts
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    onomatopoeia99
    IF it's a direct debit, you shoudl be able to go onto your online banking and review all the DDs that have been set up, and just delete any you don't recognise.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • LilElvis
    • By LilElvis 8th Sep 17, 5:54 PM
    • 3,086 Posts
    • 8,568 Thanks
    LilElvis
    Thanks everyone. I have learned the hard way and am going to cancel and request a new card.
    Originally posted by himynameisaaron
    Cancelling the card won't help as your account number/ sort code will be the same. Call the dealership ASAP to find out what he was up to.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 8th Sep 17, 5:57 PM
    • 15,036 Posts
    • 37,584 Thanks
    elsien
    Not sure why you're cancelling your card if all you've given him is the sort Code and account number - anyone can get those off a cheque anyway. Or did you give him any other information such as the long card number and security code?
    Why don't you just phone him back and ask why he wanted them? He can't put you as guarantor without you agreeing to it, if he's set up a direct debit you can cancel it and if he's done anything in your name without consent it's fraud. Phone him or your mum and the dealership and ask.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • jack_pott
    • By jack_pott 8th Sep 17, 5:58 PM
    • 4,003 Posts
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    jack_pott
    My Brother's a liability too, the ink cartridges cost a fortune.
    • ViolaLass
    • By ViolaLass 8th Sep 17, 6:38 PM
    • 5,015 Posts
    • 6,936 Thanks
    ViolaLass

    Neither a borrower nor a lender be. So true.
    Originally posted by melanzana
    Nothing wrong with being either, provided you've consented with full knowledge of the situation.
    • BorisThomson
    • By BorisThomson 8th Sep 17, 6:41 PM
    • 314 Posts
    • 445 Thanks
    BorisThomson
    Aaron, if I recall correctly you have a disability and your mum may be continuing to claim benefits and controlling your affairs when you don't need her to. Please contact either social services or your local police (ask to speak to the vulnerable persons officer), what you describe is abuse and you need support in resolving this situation.
    • melanzana
    • By melanzana 8th Sep 17, 8:01 PM
    • 2,367 Posts
    • 6,662 Thanks
    melanzana
    Nothing wrong with being either, provided you've consented with full knowledge of the situation.
    Originally posted by ViolaLass
    Rarely works out really but I understand your sentiments.

    I am, however with Polonious from Hamlet... (Wasn't Shakespeare such a prescient man, and it is the same now as it ever was.

    Polonius:
    Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
    For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
    And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
    • himynameisaaron
    • By himynameisaaron 8th Sep 17, 8:23 PM
    • 168 Posts
    • 50 Thanks
    himynameisaaron
    Aaron, if I recall correctly you have a disability and your mum may be continuing to claim benefits and controlling your affairs when you don't need her to. Please contact either social services or your local police (ask to speak to the vulnerable persons officer), what you describe is abuse and you need support in resolving this situation.
    Originally posted by BorisThomson
    Hi Boris,

    Thank for your kind words. She is not alright in the head, and hasn't got my disability down to a T when describing me during an assessment for PIP.

    We received a form before going down to an assessment as I was previously on DLA asking if I wanted to move to PIP, I repeatedly told my nmother 'No, I can get around fine; cook meals; iron my own clothes; pay bills; bath myself etc' Yet insisted on filling and sending away the form because "it's more money in my pocket" according to her. Completely overshadowing what I said about not wanting to claim PIP because I feel fine.

    Upon invitation to the assessment many weeks later she found the cheek to self-diagnose me with anxieties which I don't even suffer from. You either get assessed and diagnosed by your GP, otherwise you don't have it. Then began kicking me gently with her foot when I said the wrong thing than what she wanted me to say just she can pull the wool over the assessors eyes.

    She would have said things like:
    "Aaron needs constant supervision when pouring a cup of coffee in case he burned his hand" or "He struggles to understand how to read cooking instructions". Fair enough I have autism but she takes things too far sometimes.

    I have been destined to write this post for a long time, but wasn't too sure how to word it properly until now. She's a fraudulent liar.
    Last edited by himynameisaaron; 08-09-2017 at 8:43 PM.
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