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  • FIRST POST
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 26th Aug 17, 9:23 PM
    • 148Posts
    • 786Thanks
    helsbell
    Finding Strength and Balance
    • #1
    • 26th Aug 17, 9:23 PM
    Finding Strength and Balance 26th Aug 17 at 9:23 PM
    Hi guys

    I've been lurking on these boards for years and I think it's finally time I made myself accountable. I've been wanting to get rid of the debt for years but I didn't really do anything about it until last year. (I guess I just hoped it would disappear in a puff of smoke one day). Even now I haven't been very focussed about it so I'm hoping that posting here and taking part in some of the challenges will help with that.

    There's me and 2 kiddiwinks to think of while I'm doing this, so I won't be going for a 'batten down the hatches' approach. I do want to show my 2 girls that we can be happy and have lots of fun without running up huge amounts of debt, though. A balanced approach, you might say

    And the 'strength' part of my thread title? Well, 'strength and balance' sort of became my motto last year when my OH and I split up. I am certainly a lot stronger than I was then, and I'm finding that being in control helps a lot with balance (although I may still be working on balancing out my rampaging control freak ).

    Anyway, that's things here. All advice is welcome: if I growl at you initially it probably means you're rightso try not to take it personally. I'll try to remember to thank you when it all works out just like you said it would
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
Page 3
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 17th Sep 17, 8:58 PM
    • 2,207 Posts
    • 10,218 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    Well done on the overpayment
    JANUARY 2016/SECURED DEBT=24,822/November 2017=3,475
    MORTGAGE FREE 25/07/16
    • armchairexpert
    • By armchairexpert 18th Sep 17, 6:04 AM
    • 726 Posts
    • 4,720 Thanks
    armchairexpert
    What a lovely new diary, I am completely charmed by you already and have subscribed.

    The rent/mortgage thing does seem frustrating, but I can see how you arrived at that. Presumably if you'd already bought your ex-partner out of his 30% you'd be paying that much extra in mortgage, and he'd be able to increase his equity on another property or use it as a BTL. So it does seem fair (to the extent that I understand it!) but it'll be good to have the whole thing settled and divided so it's cleaner.

    You're already on top of the budgeting, I just wanted to come and cheer you on!
    MFW diary here. 1 Feb 2017 $229,371 - MFD Feb 2043 aiming for May 2028
    14 August 2017 - Refinanced: $220,000
    November 2017 - $216,000.00 Current MFD 31 July 2035
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 20th Sep 17, 9:37 PM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    What a lovely new diary, I am completely charmed by you already and have subscribed.

    The rent/mortgage thing does seem frustrating, but I can see how you arrived at that. Presumably if you'd already bought your ex-partner out of his 30% you'd be paying that much extra in mortgage, and he'd be able to increase his equity on another property or use it as a BTL. So it does seem fair (to the extent that I understand it!) but it'll be good to have the whole thing settled and divided so it's cleaner.

    You're already on top of the budgeting, I just wanted to come and cheer you on!
    Originally posted by armchairexpert
    Thanks, I'm not sure I've ever charmed anyone before, what a lovely thing to say
    I thought I was on top of the budgeting, until I realised that I hadn't put any money in a pot for home insurance Saying that, this is the first time I've not had money aside, or enough unallocated to pay something since I became single over a year ago so it's not that bad. I'm a bit frustrated that I'm going to end up robbing another pot to pay it, but it's a lot better than putting it on a credit card, which is what I used to do with the car insurance every year.

    I've had 2 NSDs in a row and tomorrow might make 3, we'll see.
    I've still not eaten out this month. This is unheard of
    I've thrown away less food. This does seem to be coinciding with DD1 having a period of complaining about everything I serve up. I haven't changed the offering so not sure what that's about. Sausage, sweetcorn and rice have all been separately rejected over the last few days. I'm not offering an alternative (I'm too lazy ) so she'll be hungry enough to stop such nonsense soon
    I've taken lunch to work every day this month.
    There have been no top up shops this week, and possibly last week too (can't remember).

    Being ill last week has made my chronic condition flare up this week so there have been a few extra paracetamol and lots of early nights. I think this is the latest I've been up in a fortnight I'll be back asking for sleep advice at the weekend, if not before
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 20th Sep 17, 9:51 PM
    • 514 Posts
    • 1,913 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Well done on the NSDs. I was catching up on reading your diary and had to smile at having hea both children read when they wanted to. I find that a huge achievement if I've had chance to hear the little ones read!
    paydbx #90 £475/£10,000.
    Loan £17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans £3342 March 2017. £3206 in Oct 17
    • armchairexpert
    • By armchairexpert 21st Sep 17, 2:25 AM
    • 726 Posts
    • 4,720 Thanks
    armchairexpert
    We all forget things sometimes. I started budgeting in February, and I went back over several months of statements to check that I had everything but I completely forgot about an annual charge that comes out in September. So roll around September and I'm suddenly up for $500 I hadn't budgeted for at all. It's a learning curve!
    MFW diary here. 1 Feb 2017 $229,371 - MFD Feb 2043 aiming for May 2028
    14 August 2017 - Refinanced: $220,000
    November 2017 - $216,000.00 Current MFD 31 July 2035
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 21st Sep 17, 7:13 AM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    Well done on the NSDs. I was catching up on reading your diary and had to smile at having hea both children read when they wanted to. I find that a huge achievement if I've had chance to hear the little ones read!
    Originally posted by Honeysucklelou2
    I'm normally really bad at getting round to listening to them but we seem to be off to a flying start this year! The downside is that as soon as she's read it they give her another one (rather than changing it once a week or something). Great for her learning, terrible for my time management
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 21st Sep 17, 8:04 AM
    • 2,207 Posts
    • 10,218 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    Well done on the NSDs. Once you get going they can be addictive
    Less food waste and not eating out is also huge as food is where our money leakage happens most (well mine anyway)
    Have a positive day
    JANUARY 2016/SECURED DEBT=24,822/November 2017=3,475
    MORTGAGE FREE 25/07/16
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 21st Sep 17, 9:04 PM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    Well, I managed to make that 3rd NSD in a row. I got up this morning and realised that I hadn't sorted out any lunch for today. My first response was 'must remember to stop at the supermarket on the way in'. But that would have ruined 2 streaks - NSDs and taking my lunch to work every day this month. So I made a sandwich, using the ham that needs using up anyway and some plum chutney that I found in the fridge. I'm not normally a fan of sandwiches but I actually really enjoyed it - bonus!

    Hope you've had a good day, I'm off to bed!
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 26th Sep 17, 8:39 PM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    Yesterday was NSD #10 this month, meaning I've reached my target on the challenge thread

    I've also felt my mood lifting a little. Not sure what's brought me round, but it's possible that some honesty from a good friend helped me to accept that I was struggling as much as I kept denying I was, thereby pressing the reset button (even if only halfway down ). Not sure that makes sense to anyone except me but hey, that's all I've got

    DD's birthday is coming up this weekend. Presents were bought last weekend, despite a major lack of input from the girl herself so hopefully she'll like what I chose.
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 26th Sep 17, 10:49 PM
    • 514 Posts
    • 1,913 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Well done on the 10 NSDs! An excellent achievement...I am still trying to meet that target...for the last 3 months.
    paydbx #90 £475/£10,000.
    Loan £17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans £3342 March 2017. £3206 in Oct 17
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 27th Sep 17, 5:26 PM
    • 2,207 Posts
    • 10,218 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    Yesterday was NSD #10 this month, meaning I've reached my target on the challenge thread
    Originally posted by helsbell
    A fab number of NSDs
    JANUARY 2016/SECURED DEBT=24,822/November 2017=3,475
    MORTGAGE FREE 25/07/16
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 4th Oct 17, 9:42 PM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    Thanks guys. I made it to 11 NSDs for September in the end. I've just set my target for October at 10 again, with yesterday and today making up the first 2.

    DD2 liked her presents, which was a relief. It turns out I must listen to her after all, as she said things like, 'I really wanted one of those, thank you Mummy!'

    I've not been on so much lately, mostly because I've been sooo tired. I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to get the girls off to bed and I'm still exhausted in the morning. I'm even getting more sleep than usual so I'm not sure why I can't stay awake. Anyway, I feel a bit better today so hopefully I'll stay that way. I can't cope with 3 weeks like that in every month

    And it's for the same reason that i don't really have anything to report. No energy means that I've been managing to do the bare minimums (like going to work and eating), but I've not even been watching TV or updating my beloved YNAB so there's been no time for anything more exciting.

    Hopefully I'll keep a bit more energy as I want to go and see the new Bladerunner this weekend while the girls are with their Dad. I might even try and get the bike out, just to prove how unfit I am
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 15th Oct 17, 12:59 PM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    I'm up to 6 NSDs this month so far

    Another quiet week MSE wise; still exhausted. I've made an appointment at the doctor for next week to see what we can do about it. I fully expect him to tell me to get some sleep and for me to be really about it, but not actually tackle it any further. I have a few different (minor but chronic) health issues and I don't know which ones cause what, or if it's something else entirely so it's very frustrating.

    Anyway, enough whingeing! I just phoned MBNA to request a credit limit increase so that I can transfer a balance to 0%. They said it came back as 'refer to credit team', which is better than an outright no, isn't it? I now have to wait for a letter in the post over the next 5-7 days. Feels good to have actually done something about something IYSWIM.

    I didn't go and see Bladerunner last weekend. I didn't really do anything last weekend. I'm not sure I even left the house. In fact this is what prompted me into finally making a doctor's appointment. I seem to really struggle with down time, I just sink into a pit of depression and lethargy. As soon as I went back to work on Monday and was around people again, I was ok but I don't seem to be able to make myself do it otherwise, especially if the girls aren't here.
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 16th Oct 17, 8:22 PM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    I've made it up to 8 NSDs so far this month. Tomorrow will not be - we've eaten all the bread I bought on Saturday (this is unheard of) and both girls have Halloween things at school to be paid for.

    Storm Ophelia has just arrived in these parts so I've decided to take to bed with a book. Hope you've all had a good day.
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 16th Oct 17, 8:37 PM
    • 462 Posts
    • 5,655 Thanks
    117pauline
    Hi helsbell

    Just thought I would pop in and say hello. You sound run down so I hope your doctor can help.

    What do you enjoy? Are there things you could do on the days without your girls that would give you the push to get you out of the house?

    Sounds as though you are doing well with your NSDs
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 16th Oct 17, 8:38 PM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    Forgot to say, I was expecting to be paid for last month's overtime along with my normal wage today, but wasn't. The woman who sends it all off didn't really seem very bothered, just said she must have missed the deadline It's so frustrating when someone with a salary 3 or 4 times yours doesn't understand how important those extra few pennies are

    Oh well, it'll be added to next month's pay instead, by which time it will have been wiped out by credit card interest
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 22nd Oct 17, 11:14 AM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    Hi helsbell

    Just thought I would pop in and say hello. You sound run down so I hope your doctor can help.

    What do you enjoy? Are there things you could do on the days without your girls that would give you the push to get you out of the house?

    Sounds as though you are doing well with your NSDs
    Pauline
    Originally posted by 117pauline
    Thanks for popping in Pauline. The doctor actually took me seriously, which caught me off guard and I was the one trying to downplay it He has ordered lots of blood tests, which I'm having tomorrow, then have to go back and see him in a couple of weeks. If they come back clear, he has suggested sending me to the sleep clinic, so we'll think about that when it comes round.

    I always have plans for when the girls aren't here, it's just that I don't get out of bed, and then I put the telly on, then I feel sorry for myself, then cross at myself, then I'm too tired to do anything so I go back to bed

    Yesterday I managed not to cancel my friend coming over for coffee (it was a close call) and today I'm going to see Bladerunner. Yesterday was also an NSD.

    The girls are away with their dad all week, and I am off to see my parents. My dad is getting on a bit and my mum sounds like she needs cheering up! I've got a few medical appointments to get out of the way first though.

    I went out for dinner on Friday with a couple of friends, it was lovely, even if we did end up talking about work most of the time

    Hope everyone has a good day.

    HB
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 22nd Oct 17, 3:03 PM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    I've finally applied for the balance transfer to a 0% rate. I didn't get the limit increase that I would have needed to transfer the whole lot but I was able to transfer £3800. I've been paying £75 - 85 in interest every month so the shockingly high fee will be covered by interest saved over the next few months.
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 22nd Oct 17, 11:19 PM
    • 514 Posts
    • 1,913 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Hope you have a good week with your parents and that the doctor sorts out the tiredness.
    paydbx #90 £475/£10,000.
    Loan £17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans £3342 March 2017. £3206 in Oct 17
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 22nd Oct 17, 11:32 PM
    • 462 Posts
    • 5,655 Thanks
    117pauline
    Hi there

    I am really pleased you got on so well with your doctor. Sometimes it's good to have a professional opinion because when you are sleep deprived, you don't always see things clearly.

    It must feel strange without the girls but sounds as though you will be busy. Parents getting older seems to happen all of a sudden. My mum is 91 and manages to live independently with the help of a gardener and cleaner, she is a tough old Bird!!!! But the last couple of times she has seemed less on the ball. I hope you manage to cheer your mum as well as letting her cheer you too.

    And well done not cancelling the coffee with your friend. It seems so much easier to not go but I bet you had a good time.

    Enjoy your week off
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
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