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  • FIRST POST
    • foolofbeans
    • By foolofbeans 25th Aug 17, 9:21 PM
    • 319Posts
    • 399Thanks
    foolofbeans
    My child is a thief
    • #1
    • 25th Aug 17, 9:21 PM
    My child is a thief 25th Aug 17 at 9:21 PM
    The title says it all really
    My child was a thief at a young age and always seemed to think it was ok to help themselves to their siblings things or our things.
    Child has always struggled with understanding consequences but I don't think that should excuse their behaviour.
    I have just discovered £40 missing from my bag and am 95% sure they took it. I don't have any proof though and this is always one of the problems - I have accused them of stealing before and found out later that I had got it wrong but I suppose when somebody is known to be a thief they will always be the one that is looked at if anything goes missing.
    I'm so upset. We've had so many rants or we've tried to be understanding and nothing works.
    They are 17 now and tbh I just want them out of my house. I hate the thought of having to wonder where my things are or sometimes I think I must have spent more than I thought as I can't account for the amount of money that has gone missing.
    Does anybody have any advice? Has anybody gone through this and come out the other side? Child has obviously not learnt anything and still has a total lack of respect for us and our belongings
Page 4
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 14th Sep 17, 1:20 PM
    • 2,508 Posts
    • 6,099 Thanks
    ska lover
    I think there's a lot to be said for parents trying to give their kids a bit of pocket money even though they don't have much.
    Originally posted by annandale

    I do, like they need to teach their kids that it isn't a god given right to have pocket money or that they are automatically entitled to it, when it comes at the expense of the family food budget or the families health
    Blah blah blah.
    • Malthusian
    • By Malthusian 14th Sep 17, 2:53 PM
    • 3,294 Posts
    • 5,004 Thanks
    Malthusian
    When they are obese adults with diabetes / high cholesterol , I am sure they will be happy then too
    Originally posted by ska lover
    A diet of Findus Crispy Pancakes and KFC does not give a kid diabetes. Sitting on the sofa playing XBox all day does. (And if they don't get any pocket money what else are they going to do with themselves, other than shoplift.) If they are still obese when they are adults that is their fault, not their parents'.

    Giving a child responsibility for money and teaching them financial skills is far more important for their future well-being than feeding them quinoa.
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 14th Sep 17, 4:33 PM
    • 2,508 Posts
    • 6,099 Thanks
    ska lover
    A diet of Findus Crispy Pancakes and KFC does not give a kid diabetes. Sitting on the sofa playing XBox all day does. (And if they don't get any pocket money what else are they going to do with themselves, other than shoplift.) If they are still obese when they are adults that is their fault, not their parents'.

    Giving a child responsibility for money and teaching them financial skills is far more important for their future well-being than feeding them quinoa.
    Originally posted by Malthusian

    If you have kids you are passing on incorrect unhealthy information to them


    Bad diet will not lead anywhere good, it is a massive factor in things like diabetes - and processed meat causes cancer. FACT. Look it up.


    https://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/enjoy-food/eating-with-diabetes/what-is-a-healthy-balanced-diet/processed-and-red-meat


    Millions of pounds have been spent on studies so we are better educated to take care of our families


    Eating habits are set during childhood and those patterns are very difficult to break - they ARE the parents doing. Kids will only eat what is put in front of them, and then it is normal behavior that we take into adulthood. It only becomes strange when you realize there are other options.


    I have never eaten Quinoa - would have no idea what to do with it. I'm not talking about stuff like that, just home cooked meals that are not processed foods , and plenty of veg fruit


    It is not even more expensive for the most part, a bag of apples costs the same as a multipack of chocolate bars for example. Four jacket potatoes would cost around the same as a bag of frozen oven chips. There really is no excuse for it, other than lack of education or being lazy


    Eating a balanced diet is key to a healthy life, and to debate against it has no basis whatsoever.
    Last edited by ska lover; 14-09-2017 at 4:43 PM.
    Blah blah blah.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 14th Sep 17, 5:09 PM
    • 1,883 Posts
    • 5,168 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    If you have kids you are passing on incorrect unhealthy information to them


    Bad diet will not lead anywhere good, it is a massive factor in things like diabetes - and processed meat causes cancer. FACT. Look it up.


    https://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/enjoy-food/eating-with-diabetes/what-is-a-healthy-balanced-diet/processed-and-red-meat


    Millions of pounds have been spent on studies so we are better educated to take care of our families


    Eating habits are set during childhood and those patterns are very difficult to break - they ARE the parents doing. Kids will only eat what is put in front of them, and then it is normal behavior that we take into adulthood. It only becomes strange when you realize there are other options.


    I have never eaten Quinoa - would have no idea what to do with it. I'm not talking about stuff like that, just home cooked meals that are not processed foods , and plenty of veg fruit


    It is not even more expensive for the most part, a bag of apples costs the same as a multipack of chocolate bars for example. Four jacket potatoes would cost around the same as a bag of frozen oven chips. There really is no excuse for it, other than lack of education or being lazy


    Eating a balanced diet is key to a healthy life, and to debate against it has no basis whatsoever.
    Originally posted by ska lover
    Don't really get your point. Just because a parent isn't spending a lot of money doesn't mean the child will be malnourished or obese, which you seem to realise, so why the assumption that prioritising giving them a bit of pocket money will mean diabetes in the future?
    • annandale
    • By annandale 14th Sep 17, 5:53 PM
    • 926 Posts
    • 1,981 Thanks
    annandale
    A few coins isnt going to make a massive difference to someones heating bill or food bill is it? The poster in question didnt actually indicate how much pocket money she got or what percentage of the household budget she was given.

    As for healthy food being as cheap as junk, Im on a low income just now. I get 317 every month if Im not working any shifts on top (and if I do thats deducted from the 317 at a rate of 63p in the pound)

    My eating choices are vastly different to what they were when I was earning 1500 a month, simply because I dont have the disposable income at the moment. And I dont eat unhealthily and am a decent cook.

    I tend to buy my veg YS or from a wonky veg box because the price of some fruit in supermarkets isnt cheap (it also very much depends what supermarkets you have in your area, some are much cheaper than others).

    I have a number of friends who are personal trainers and are extremely fit and eat a terrinle diet. KFC, McDonalds, not occasionally, 3 or 4 times a week.

    Im pear shaped and put weight on easily, but my diet is better than a few people I know who are much slimmer than I am.

    Some people dont get obese from eating crap food.
    • svain
    • By svain 14th Sep 17, 6:10 PM
    • 196 Posts
    • 348 Thanks
    svain
    im a KFC and McD;s 3-4 times a week, and im not overweight ... although do have active job and skip the fizzy drinks in favour of water. Im not suggesting for one minute this is ideal, however imo the biggest key to a healthier lifestyle is quantity of food consumed and then quality... It really isnt rocket science
    • annandale
    • By annandale 14th Sep 17, 6:32 PM
    • 926 Posts
    • 1,981 Thanks
    annandale
    With respect to the poster who posted about her being given some pocket money while the family diet was poor, how do any of us know that if the money had been spent on food that the diet would have been any healthier? The mum could have spent the extra money on junk (and Im not assuming she did)

    We dont know. There are people who have plenty money to spend and spend it all on crap. Ive been standing beside people in enough check out queues to see folks shopping go through the check out, piles of sweets crisps and cakes, fizzy drinks, all sorts of rubbish.

    There are people who make really unhealthy food choices and lack of money isnt the problem. Junk food is addictive and many people like it.
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 15th Sep 17, 8:36 AM
    • 2,508 Posts
    • 6,099 Thanks
    ska lover
    Don't really get your point. Just because a parent isn't spending a lot of money doesn't mean the child will be malnourished or obese, which you seem to realise, so why the assumption that prioritising giving them a bit of pocket money will mean diabetes in the future?
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel


    The person who I responded to, said that their diet was poor as a kid, however they had been given pocket money - hence my response, I wasn't assuming, I was responding to what was said.


    There is no need to feed kids nuggets and pizza every night of the week and is often more expensive to do so -like your point, for example it would cost more to buy four microwave meals than make one cottage pie from scratch.
    Last edited by ska lover; 15-09-2017 at 8:49 AM.
    Blah blah blah.
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 15th Sep 17, 8:53 AM
    • 2,508 Posts
    • 6,099 Thanks
    ska lover
    Some people dont get obese from eating crap food.
    Originally posted by annandale

    Yes some lucky folk


    It is not only how you look on the outside, health as in general well being, is directly affected, so whilst these personal trainers may look amazing on the outside, their cholesterol levels could be through the roof - hopefully not, but I would struggle to take advice from a personal trainer who ate takeaway three times a week
    Blah blah blah.
    • annandale
    • By annandale 15th Sep 17, 12:11 PM
    • 926 Posts
    • 1,981 Thanks
    annandale
    Hes an excellent Pt. And to be fair you aren't going to know what a personal trainers eating habits are when you employ them.

    I do have a decent grasp of nutrition. I'm a pt myself.
    • Juanita37
    • By Juanita37 15th Sep 17, 12:25 PM
    • 14 Posts
    • 34 Thanks
    Juanita37
    Difficult to get child diagnosed
    Hi lovely...just wanted to reply to say I feel for u..my son is now 12yrs old and has finally got a part diagnoses after 9 years of banging my head against a wall with doctors specialists and school..it is hard but if u truly believe he has issues I urge u to seek this help...good luck x
    • Monika333
    • By Monika333 15th Sep 17, 6:50 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    Monika333
    Sit everyone around the table and say that someone has taken quite a large amount of money from you. Watch the body language. I don't think you will need to say more as it should be a bit if an uncomfortable experience for everybody unless they are hard skinned.
    Originally posted by pearl123
    I agree. This could be a good way of solution.
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