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    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 14th Aug 17, 10:16 AM
    • 80Posts
    • 102Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    ThelittleladyandI
    • #1
    • 14th Aug 17, 10:16 AM
    ThelittleladyandI 14th Aug 17 at 10:16 AM
    First timer seeking organisation, security and a lovely life for my daughter and I.

    My husband has recently left, he is a good person, struggling. He is still very present in DD's life and at the moment is contributing financially a lot. His leaving is very very recent. I am heartbroken but need a new focus and some positivity. (I still hold out hope that things will resolve themselves but until then......)

    I am 30, work part time, 3 days a week. My daughter is 18 months old, the cheekest monkey, hard work but she is what has kept me going recently! We live in our home with our guard dog haha! Old Labrador, soft dog!

    I'm aiming to get finances organised as much as anything. Currently I have no idea how much bills and costs are, when they go out of the accounts, whose name they are in or which account they go out of (joint, mine or his) I want to be able to manage the finances better and pay back outstanding debt!

    The debt has accumulated over a few years, just by buying stuff we don't need! It's in the form of two credit cards and also finance agreement for a sofa (not too worried about this as its 0 percent!)

    I'm going to start by paying off the sainsburys credit card. It's in my name and I would like to have it at 0 by Christmas. I hope that this is realistic. It stands at £1125.29 eek!

    The other thing I'm really keen to do is get an account sorted for emergencys. What if...my husband dint transfer money .....i wouldn't have enough to cover the mortgage...it doesn't bare thinking about! A few months mortgage in a savings account would help me to feel more secure.

    I've started off well for August. I'm keeping a spending diary which I will add in next post. Is it just me or do others like to start diets (food or money) on the first of the month, better still the first of the day year!?

    Well let's throw this out into the virtual world!
Page 4
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 26th Aug 17, 7:41 PM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    Today has been a no spend day

    I went to a family bbq today with the little lady and it was lovely! Tomorrow should also be a no spend day as its another family birthday! That's pretty good going for a weekend!

    I am extremely worried I haven't got enough money to last until pay day. There are still dds to go out and I will need to buy petrol. I think I've gone a little overboard with paying off the credit card and left myself too little to cover everything else! So silly really! Anyway I'll see how I go and spend as little as possible!

    That's eveyrthing for today, early night for me again.....
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 27th Aug 17, 11:03 PM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    Fabulous day at family get together, no spend day! Yay! X
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 28th Aug 17, 4:59 PM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    Happy bank holiday weekend everyone!

    So time to post up the weekly spends for last week.

    Week 4

    Monday 21st - £37.69 - aldi food
    £3.99 - moisturiser
    £50.36 - Xmas presents
    £5. 75 - bottle of wine
    Tuesday 22nd - no spend day
    Wednesday 23rd - £3.00- dance and music workshop
    Thursday 24th - £15.00 - tesco food shop
    £25.00 - Xmas presents
    £10.00 - the little lady's showpes
    £36.80 - dress
    £5.00 - hair clips for the little lady
    £2.40 - parking
    60p - drink
    Friday 25th - no spend day
    Saturday 26th - no spend day
    Sunday 27th - 33p chocolate

    Total 180.92 - 3.00 (redeemed scratch cards ) leaves £177.92

    It seems that each week that goes on I seem to be spending more! So need to cut it right back if possible! When it gets to the end of the month I will total up how much has been spent on each category which will be interesting.

    My bank accounts are looking a little sad. 4 days until the end of the month but then a way away from pay day too! Keep plodding on, I've had a lovely weekend with family and my little lady and surprisingly I haven't spent very much!
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 30th Aug 17, 11:59 AM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    Yesterday was a lovely day! The little lady and I made a cake and then I had friends over for dinner. It's so difficult to find a balance between socialising and money saving!

    I have another friend coming over today but she is bringing lunch so at least that's a saving! So tomorrow is the last day of the month so then I will be able to see where I have spent moneyand where savings could be made.

    Let's see how it all goes!
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 1st Sep 17, 10:00 PM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    So the spends for August eek!

    Groceries (including pet food, nappies, toiletries and cleaning products) £249.41
    Petrol and parking £60.49
    Home £3.33
    Meals out/entertainment £86.63
    Gifts £161.78
    Entertainment for dd £6.00
    Clothes me me £36.80
    Clothes for dd £15.00

    Total spends for August £619.44 minus £33.00 from selling bits leaves a grand total of
    £586.44

    I think this is okay!

    Areas to improve upon are the eating out and the gifts (although this is chrostmas presents bought in advance so not too bad)

    It has really dawned on me this week that my husband isn't coming back. I am alone with a baby and a mortgage. I am beyond sad but you just have to keep going don't you? I am trying so hard to keep everything together and I think I'm doing okay. I just never thought I would ever be in this position. Anyway sorting out finances is just one step towards being okay.

    I have boxed up lots of the little lady's old toys and equipment to take to the second hand shop to sell tomorrow. There won't be any more babies sadly and so it's best to get some money out of it when it's really needed.

    I took the little lady to a free play session at the children's centre today and my mum bought me a coffee. I took a packed lunch for the little lady so didn't actually spend anything. I'm planning to take dd to the beach tomorrow which should either me a no or low spend day.

    Xx
    • yorkshiremum13
    • By yorkshiremum13 1st Sep 17, 10:27 PM
    • 13 Posts
    • 19 Thanks
    yorkshiremum13
    I love your idea of the spending diary! I may have to pinch that idea!

    You're doing really well! You can do it!
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 2nd Sep 17, 12:10 PM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    Thank you Yorkshire mum!

    The spending diary is probably the best thing I have done! It really he,ps keep track of everything and stops you spending too. If I look at my records and see that I've spent a lot it stops me from spending more.

    X
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 2nd Sep 17, 8:55 PM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    I took the little lady to the beach and took a packed lunch so another no spend day today, I'm really clocking those no spend days up! 5 so far this week.

    My fridge is so empty!!! So tomorrow I need to buy some food for the coming week. I have written a list and now it's just the two of us I don't find it that hard to keep to a budget. I'm thinking of going into town as the little lady Is with her dad and I'm at a loose end.....

    I sold those baby bits for £25.00 so I have that. I'm going out next week so I wouldn't mind a new top or something and the little lady could do with A be coat..I know I shouldn't but I hate being alone, I just get upset so that is a distraction!

    X
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 2nd Sep 17, 9:15 PM
    • 784 Posts
    • 3,755 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Aww you aren't alone on here. You really need to orgainise something for you when she is with her dad. You deserve some me time , Hope you find a new top .
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 2nd Sep 17, 9:24 PM
    • 574 Posts
    • 2,208 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    You are doing brilliantly, your motivation to be financially savvy and secure is the best. Little lady will be in awe of her awesome mum. 5nsds is a huge achievement. I can hardly manage 2 in a week let alone two in a row!

    Loneliness, however you come to be lonely (mine is because hubby is 'on the road' as a sound engineer a lot) is hard and it sucks. And, there are nights when I feel like I'm never going to feel happy again, but I do.

    I find shutting the door at 5pm for Pickle's tea time and knowing I can't escape again until he's dressed and breakfasted the next morning is one of the hardest aspects of my current life.

    One of the things I try and do is invite friends round for the evening as often as I can. Yes, some people are in the same situation as me (trapped in the house with a small one) but others are more flexible.
    At the moment it's 'bake off gatherings' we are just sitting round watching bake off, eating cake. What I would be doing anyway, but with company. Board game is another one I do a lot too. No cost (except a tea bag or two) and lots of company.

    I know your loneliness is 'deeper' than mine, but hopefully friends can help out for now until you are ready to, and in a position to, improve your 'deeper' loneliness.

    Big hugs

    Wish.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400)
    2017 July : £36,800 8/100 Aug: £36,411.85 8/100 Sep: £35,945.66 10/100 Oct: £35,500 11/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029
    Current mortgage free date: April 2025
    • louby40
    • By louby40 3rd Sep 17, 7:53 PM
    • 1,161 Posts
    • 3,174 Thanks
    louby40
    I found myself on my own with 2 little boys aged 3 & 5 in 2006. My husband left. It wasn't a good time. But you come out the other side.

    I used to feel terrible when the boys were with their dad but soon developed a social life for myself. I joined the gym and tried to meet up with friends and family when ever i could.

    Before I met my current partner I joined a Meet Up group which is a nationwide organisation https://www.meetup.com/ I made a few friends via there and we went out for meals, cinema, walks etc.

    My boys are now 14 & 17 and great kids!

    You are doing great.
    Parent loan PAID IN FULL Sealed Pot Challenge 10 #572
    Emergency fund £670/£1000. Christmas savings £450/£600 Car maintenance £50/600
    Kitchen July £12,493 OCT £10,493. 18% paid off
    Barclaycard £233
    Car loan £2890 Mortgage £95,391
    TOTAL DEBT (with mortgage) = £109,024 (without mortgage) = £13,633
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 4th Sep 17, 7:05 PM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    Thank you guys!

    It is really hard but I am doing okay and I really appreciate the support! That's so funny that you say about the bake off as I had all my friends over to watch the first episode and eat cake and I must say it was lovely!!!

    Soooo back to more practical matters. Spends for last week.
    Monday 28th - no spend day
    Tuesday 29th - petrol £25.05
    Aldi - £29.96
    Morrisons - £1.75
    Take away - £10.00
    Wednesday 30th - no spend day
    Thursday 31st - no spend day
    Friday 1st - no spend day
    Saturday 2nd - no spend day
    Sunday 3rd - £14.05 dd clothes
    £2.50 dd clothes
    £3.90 parking
    £4.79 McDonald's
    £1.00 - deodorant
    £2.00 - drink
    £19.13 - Tesco

    So 5 no spend days which is a record!!!!!
    Sold some baby bits for £25.00

    Total spends £114.13 - £25.00 for sales leaves £89.13
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 4th Sep 17, 7:18 PM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    Today I have got off to a good start to the week with taking lunch to work and it's a no spend day!

    Work has been busy which has been a great distraction from everything that is going on. The little lady has been fed and bathed and is now smuggled in bed and I'm watching TV. The excitement is just too much haha!

    Maybe I'll be productive and do some laundry or maybe I'll lay here.........
    • louby40
    • By louby40 4th Sep 17, 8:55 PM
    • 1,161 Posts
    • 3,174 Thanks
    louby40
    Ha ha....my DP is watching football so I've just put some washing in. Thought I might as well. My life is rock n roll too
    Parent loan PAID IN FULL Sealed Pot Challenge 10 #572
    Emergency fund £670/£1000. Christmas savings £450/£600 Car maintenance £50/600
    Kitchen July £12,493 OCT £10,493. 18% paid off
    Barclaycard £233
    Car loan £2890 Mortgage £95,391
    TOTAL DEBT (with mortgage) = £109,024 (without mortgage) = £13,633
    • pixiechick99
    • By pixiechick99 4th Sep 17, 11:43 PM
    • 3,655 Posts
    • 15,440 Thanks
    pixiechick99
    Hi there
    I though I would show my face as I've been reading (and enjoying!) your diary!
    I've been around the boards for a while now...though not really posting much in the last couple of years. I'm back now as my money has dropped drastically
    I'm a single mum too, though my girlies are big now...20 and 18. As youngest has just left f/t education all my benefits have dropped hugely and I'm majorly panicking about surviving and just paying the bills.
    Your diary is really inspiring and I'm going to start a spending diary and rack up those NSDs too

    Hope I can keep popping in! x
    November NSDs - 0/15
    November Groceries 0/£200
    DFW Nerd #1135
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 5th Sep 17, 8:16 PM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    Thank you!

    Today has been one of those days at work and so a spend for chocolate and wine eeek! However feeling a little smug as I FINALLY seem to have got the morning routine down. Getting little lady and myself ready with lunch etc so feeling less stressed about that!

    My bank accounts are looking really sad but I am due funds on the 8th so just a few more days to get through. I Need petrol tomorrow and possibly a few groceries but I should manage it!

    Just enjoying the bake off which Is also pretty rock and roll louby!

    Until tomorrow x
    • MrsSerious
    • By MrsSerious 5th Sep 17, 8:29 PM
    • 9 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    MrsSerious
    Good luck you two.xx
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 5th Sep 17, 9:51 PM
    • 574 Posts
    • 2,208 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Shhhh no bake off spoilers, I'm awaiting my bake away delivery before I watch it.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400)
    2017 July : £36,800 8/100 Aug: £36,411.85 8/100 Sep: £35,945.66 10/100 Oct: £35,500 11/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029
    Current mortgage free date: April 2025
    • Singlemumwithplans
    • By Singlemumwithplans 6th Sep 17, 7:09 PM
    • 80 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Singlemumwithplans
    Long day at work today but feeling really motivated if a little tired. I had to buy petrol and I caved and bought a pizza although it was only £2 which is miles better than the £25 take away I would have gotten before starting with the 'trying to spend less' thang!

    I am finished with work for the week now so I ahve my little lady to entertain tomorrow. I'm not sure what to do with her, I might have a little Google and see what's cheap/free around. I'm pretty skint and although I'm expecting money from my ex on Friday there is no guarantee and I don't want to leave myself with nothing. I need some groceries too. I'm running low on a few household bits too.

    I've started thinking about clothes for the little lady too. She grows like a weed! She has enough stuff for the moment and I'm pretty good at laundry so turn over of clothes is fine. It's just that with autumn fast approaching and then winter, all her stuff is very summery! She needs a few jumpers, long sleeved tops and tights! Previously I've always bought John Lewis, debt hams, joules or jojo maman baby but it expensive. I love kids clothes too and I wouldn't want anyone to say that the little lady isn't being looked after properly now her dad has gone. I Think I can hang her out with the clothes she has for a little longer and perhaps think about trying some cheaper clothes shops too.

    Now to start googling things to do tomrorow........

    X
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 6th Sep 17, 9:14 PM
    • 574 Posts
    • 2,208 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Sainsbury's clothes for children are the best supermarket ones I've found. I only buy when it's the 25% off events and raid the sale rail for bargains (you get a further 25% off on the sale rail too)

    Local Facebook selling groups are a good place to go for bundles of clothes. It can be a bit hit and miss (you start to learn who has the same approach as you) but can be a bargain.

    i have a next and a gap and an M&s outlet store near me. Always good for a look.

    I find buying and storing is the cheapest way, I have bags in the bottom of the wardrobe for each size. So, at the moment it's summer stuff that's really cheap, so I'm buying 2-3 as that's what we'll be in next summer.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400)
    2017 July : £36,800 8/100 Aug: £36,411.85 8/100 Sep: £35,945.66 10/100 Oct: £35,500 11/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029
    Current mortgage free date: April 2025
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