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  • FIRST POST
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 30th Jul 17, 7:22 AM
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    MrsSave
    Mrs S, family life and debt
    • #1
    • 30th Jul 17, 7:22 AM
    Mrs S, family life and debt 30th Jul 17 at 7:22 AM
    This is my 4th diary. I'll link the others in case anyone has absolutely nothing to do and fancies a read!

    Diary 1: MrsS is getting serious http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5045594

    Diary 2: Debt free before 35 http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5286098

    Diary 3: A pound stretching maternity
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5495440

    So, who is Mrs S?

    I'm in my mid early 30's and a mum to 2 lovely little boys. My second maternity leave is just coming to an end (sob). I'm a teacher but looking for a career change. I mentioned this career change back in diary 1, but I'm finally doing something about it. I have 2 job interviews next week and I'm still searching and applying for others.

    Debt

    I guess I wouldn't be starting a new diary if I didn't have any debts. Maternity leave and retraining has meant that the debt we had beforehand has increased. Significantly. I'm gutted, but from the retraining side, I just had to do it. Today, our debts stand at:

    Loan: £9,906.30
    Credit Card: £6,480.60

    We also have a mortgage of £92,720.52

    Excluding the mortgage, our current debt figure is £16,386.90. That's massive.

    So what are we doing about it?

    Not adding to it any more, that's to start! The problem is that a lot depends on whether I find work quickly. In an ideal world I will be working by September (even if it's something unrelated to what I actually want to do, as we need a second income).

    Using YNAB. I've used YNAB for a few years now, and love it. It's so clear in showing how much money we actually have, and splitting it between different pots.

    Paying £266.40 towards the loan every month, and around £65-£70 towards the card. The card is a very recent balance transfer, so not 100% sure on exact figures yet, but 1% is the minimum balance. I'm not sure whether to stick with the minimum, or a set amount each month. The set amount won't be much higher than the minimum, but obviously won't decrease every month. Possibly £65 per month. That means we will be paying £331.40 towards our debt each month. At this rate it would take 50 months to clear. 4 years, 2 months.

    Budgeting and treats

    I allow treats. They're budgeted for. I would fall flat on my face if we weren't allowed our treats. We do have little breaks away sometimes (not abroad, we haven't been abroad since our honeymoon). We save for them, though and pay with the money we have and not add to the debt. We have the odd takeaway and meal out, we have days out. I treat the boys on their birthdays and Christmas. I have this year started paying into Park for Vouchers in time for Christmas. I've budgeted for that every month.

    We put money into our car pot each month for the MOT and any extras it needs. Our car is 12 years old, and up until recently hasn't needed anything doing to it. A couple of little things are starting to need changing now so I'm hoping we'll have a few more years before the car get sorted too expensive. I do love my car! It's nothing special, not fancy and was cheap to buy with low mileage (we've had the car about 5 years).

    Right, I've probably bored anyone who's reading this enough for a first 'All about me' post.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
Page 21
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 5th Jan 18, 10:53 PM
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    wishingthemortgaheaway
    I too hope you've had a lovely day out with your mum and the children.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s £34,750.
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2025
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 0/£2,500
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 6th Jan 18, 6:13 AM
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    MrsSave
    Thank you for asking. We did have a nice day out. The boys enjoyed, and were completely shattered by the time we got home. They went straight to sleep at bedtime with no problems. I avoided a few phone calls last night (I did contact people to explain why!). I just don't feel I've had any time to process anything as when I'm with the boys all my energy goes in to them. We were late home last night so once they were in bed I just wanted time to think, and not chat with people. MrS is picking them up around midday today and will be bringing them back Sunday afternoon. It's going to be a strange Saturday night, but I think the time alone will be good to get my head straight!

    I have a grocery delivery coming mid afternoon which will be £40 something. It contains quite a few household items to stock up. My plan for the weekend when the boys aren't here is a general tidy up downstairs, vacuum throughout and then a deeper sort out of the living room. I'm thinking of working through the house one room at a time and having a proper declutter.

    Money - yesterday was a no spend day thanks to my mum. Today's only spend should be the food delivery. I'm keeping an eye on ynab and the bank accounts. They're all up to date. I had an e-mail through from British Gas yesterday to confirm my switch to them. It should be all switched by the middle of January.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 6th Jan 18, 7:49 AM
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    wishingthemortgaheaway
    So pleased you had a lovely day out yesterday.
    The deep clean and declutter sounds like a good plan, but remember to have some you time and some fun too.
    I'm sure it's hard at the moment speaking to friends and wider family, but the longer you leave it, the harder it will be. Maybe pick a couple of close friends, explain the 'ground rules' what you don't want to talk about, then go and have some fun.

    Have a good day today.

    Wish
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s £34,750.
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2025
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 0/£2,500
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 6th Jan 18, 7:49 PM
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    MrsSave
    I've spent this afternoon tidying and cleaning most of the living room. I've got a few things to sort through that are currently on the floor behind the sofa (the living room is split in 2 with one of the sofas splitting in - if that makes sense. The piano and children's toys are behind the sofa so that when they're in bed I can only see a tidy room....no toys!!). I even sorted the cupboards. I disconnected the Xbox and connected the DVD player.

    I received a form through the post for the council tax discount. I've filled that in so will post it in the next day or 2. The food shop was £48.10. No other spends today. I've got £46 left for Spends this week. I don't think I have anything I need to buy this week, plenty I want but nothing I need so that £46 should be good.

    It was difficult seeing the boys go today. Saying goodbye was so difficult, and trying to do it in a cheery way too. I totally broke down after they went, gave myself 10 minutes to be all sad and then got busy. MrS sent me a pic of them today, and a video of them saying they loved me (well ds1 did, ds2 was just happily splashing away - they were in the bath!). I've also spoken to then over facetime just before they went to bed. It all seems ok now - it's just like they're in bed! Tomorrow morning will be super strange, being the only on here. They'll be back tomorrow afternoon and they're then here with me until Wednesday night.

    I won't put off speaking with friends for too long. I think I really need time to process without other people expressing how sad they are (already had a lot of that) and have had a few asking if we can try again by either getting back together or counselling. I know people mean well but I need to work out my feelings, and what's going on in my head without influence from others. I'm still 100% sure that we have made the correct decision. People didn't see what was going on beforehand with our talks and general unhappiness with each other so it's has been a complete surprise for people.
    Last edited by MrsSave; 07-01-2018 at 7:06 AM.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 6th Jan 18, 10:39 PM
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    Cumbria lass
    It happened to me over 14 yrs ago, I knew 12 months before that my marriage was over but tried carrying on for the children. It all came to a head and DH bought a house of his own eventually and we stay acquainted and are tolerant of each other . I didn’t want to talk about it either and probably only told my parents and 2 close friends any of the decisions. If and when you want to you will speak to people or you may never want to do it. The children are being well looked after by their father and the grandparents are around as well. It will be strange to start with , but you will soon get into a routine with it all. If you need to sound off , have a moan or anything else , we are all here to help you .
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3209 CC2 £308

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 7th Jan 18, 7:34 AM
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    MrsSave
    As someone who struggles to sleep, I went to bed around 9:30 last night, and other than stirring to look at the clock a couple of times, I slept through until 6:45. My plans today before the boys get home this afternoon are:
    • Finish sorting the living room,
    • Wash both boys' bed clothes,
    • Sort the bins - bin day tomorrow,
    • Take empty bottles to the bottle bank,
    • Clean downstairs toilet.

    If I manage that, it will mean that downstairs will be clean and tidy for them when they get back (probably not for long ). Then next Saturday when they're not here, I'll tackle one of the bedrooms - probably mine. I have a canvas wardrobe to take down, and may rearrange furniture a little.

    I've checked ynab and the accounts this morning - no change, but they're not usually updated over the weekend anyway.

    The boys will be back mid afternoon today. Tomorrow is then an inset day so they'll be with me all day. Will contact the school tomorrow to let them know what's happened, rather than trying to talk with the teacher first thing Tuesday morning when she has a class full of children and parents in and out. Ds1 does tend to keep school and home separate but I think it's important for them to be aware.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Jan 18, 7:36 AM
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    debtaghh
    Hope you’re ok, you seem to be doing well.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 7th Jan 18, 8:27 AM
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    Cumbria lass
    Glad to hear you slept well , have a good morning before the little ones come flying through the door.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3209 CC2 £308

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 7th Jan 18, 9:59 AM
    • 5,563 Posts
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    Purplemumof2
    Morning MrsS,

    Just caught up on your diary and I'm sending big hugs your way.

    I'm sure you and MrS will do what's right for you both and the boys and it'll be different initially but things will work out.

    Xxx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6900.00 Cap 1: £467.97 BC: £6900.00

    AFD 4/14 NSD 9/17 LTW 10/17
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £878.17/£4000
    20p Savers 2018 £2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 8th Jan 18, 4:56 PM
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    MrsSave
    Yesterday’s list:
    *Finish sorting the living room, done
    *Wash both boys' bed clothes, done
    *Sort the bins - bin day tomorrow, done
    *Take empty bottles to the bottle bank,
    *Clean downstairs toilet. done

    Almost all tasks done. The bottles are in a box outside, I was going to take them today but I forgot! Will do it tomorrow. I also started sorting my bedroom out yesterday, and ironed everything in the basket.

    Today I took the boys to soft play (my eldest has an inset), as well as to buy new school shoes £40 shoes, £2 soft play and £3 car park. I was supposed to post the council tax letter, but it’s still on the fireplace! I must remember to do it tomorrow. I also sorted out ds1’s clothes - he had a few pairs of too small trousers (including school trousers). I’ve ordered 2 more pairs of school trousers from Asda (£3 each!) so thay he has 5 that fit. I need to sort through ds2’s room tomorrow.

    Everything else seems to be going ok. MrS is calling round after food to play with the boys and put them to bed.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 9th Jan 18, 11:15 AM
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    MrsSave
    I'm feeling super proud this morning - I've just fixed the toilet all by myself It had too much water in the cistern so water kept flowing through. All sorted and now no constant water running. Amazing what you can do with google, YouTube and a screwdriver!!!

    I popped to Tesco this morning with ds2 after dropping ds1 off at school. I may keep Tuesday at shopping day for the moment. I have been having Saturday as shopping day, and Saturday as new money week which has been working well. I don't want to be worrying about things like groceries over the weeend though when I either have time with the boys, or time to get done what I need to when they're with their dad. I need to have a think about this!!
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 9th Jan 18, 10:01 PM
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    MrsSave
    I think from now on my new financial week will start on a Thursday and may do my grocery shop straight after work. The boys will have dinner with their dad on a Thursday night and then will get back to mine in time for bed. I finish work at 4:30 so as long as I'm back by 6:00/6:15 I should be back before the boys are. Instead of deliveries I thought I may try the collection instead every other week. Trial and error at the moment so we'll see how it goes.

    I'm back in work tomorrow after 2 weeks off. There are only 3 of us in the office so this isn't something I can keep quiet. It's not that I'm purposefully keeping it quiet, I just don't think it's anyone's business!! 2 school runs today and I didn't mention it - I hate fuss and attention, and this screams fuss and attention!!! I'll tell my colleagues tomorrow morning, but it's not going to impact on work at all so hopefully there won't be too much fuss!!

    Laundry basket was empty earlier (not anymore, but small wins!!!). I took the empty bottles to the bottle bank as well today. I'm still waiting for the form to fill in to apply for tax credits. It's only been 5 days, so could be waiting up to another 12!!! I really want to get everything filled in and sent off so I can see where I stand! I'm so impatient!!!
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 10th Jan 18, 9:44 PM
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    MrsSave
    Back to work today, and told the 2 women I work with what had been going on and they were lovely. Asked if they could do anything at all to help. My manager contacted the 'big boss' just so they're aware, and I got an e-mail from him stating the same - if I need any help to just ask.

    It was actually nice to be back at work. Routine and normality (whatever that is at the moment) back. Then after work, I paid for ds1's after school club, and 2 new school jumpers for ds1. That was a very expensive journey home!!! It's all budgeted for in different pots so nothing out of the 'spends' pot today.

    I received the tax credit form through the post. I've filled in all but one section (The boys are with their dad tonight so I've had time to crack on with it). The one part I can't find is to do with my employer tax reference. HMRC are sending me out a letter with it written on - they can't tell you over the phone. It's typically not on my payslips, I have only been there a few months so no P60 and no coding notice from HMRC when I started the job - I just switched employer but kept with the same tax code. I could ask in work for it, but it is a very open plan office (my employer is separate to my office - it's a strange set up!!), and basically I don't want the whole office knowing my business. Hopefully the letter won't take too long so I can get the form sent off asap.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 10th Jan 18, 9:52 PM
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    WannabeFree
    You should be able to see it on your personal tax account online if you want to find it sooner x
    “Once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.”
    • Rubyslippers77
    • By Rubyslippers77 10th Jan 18, 10:21 PM
    • 300 Posts
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    Rubyslippers77
    I haven't posted before MrsS but just wanted to wish you well for the future. You are amazing with budgeting and making sure your DC have all they need, give yourself a big pat on the back!

    I split up with my husband over 10 years ago and that's when my financial problems started, I wish this website and various others had been around then to give me some support. Have you tried this website too? https://www.turn2us.org.uk/

    I'm a SAHM at the moment and things are rocky with my partner, I've looked a few times at what would happen if we were to split up (essentially he would have lots of money and I would have none!). If you haven't done so already, could you pop in and see your local council for advice too? Mine are really helpful, gave me the details of other local companies/ charities I could speak to. Women's Aid is also a useful source of advice, plus your local Children's Centres often have courses or other things they can help with.

    Just go easy on yourself, don't try to make everything perfect right away, and email friends if it's easier than telling them things in person; I often found it better to let people know the basics in a message rather than face to face. Oh and do come back here for more support, and to let us know how you're getting on! xx
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 11th Jan 18, 6:22 AM
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    MrsSave
    You should be able to see it on your personal tax account online if you want to find it sooner x
    Originally posted by WannabeFree
    I had a look and couldn't see it at all. I could see my tax code, my predictions for this tax year etc. But couldn't find my employer tax reference.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 11th Jan 18, 6:26 AM
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    MrsSave
    Rubyslippers thank you for your lovely message. I'm sorry things are rocky with your partner at the moment. It's sad that finances can dictate so much to us. I'll take a look at your suggestions.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 11th Jan 18, 6:41 AM
    • 1,403 Posts
    • 4,499 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Today is the start of my new 'finance' week. I have £29 left from last week and £94 this week. I may need to buy some milk, bread and bananas over the weekend, but otherwise the cupboards are looking full.

    There are a couple of things I'd like to buy for the house. Not all this week, but my mini shopping list:
    1. Photo frames (I have quite a few pictures that need to go up),
    2. New bed clothes/curtains for my room,
    3. Shelves for the living room.

    I've seen a nice bedding set in asda (online) for £12. It will be nice to give my bedroom a little update.

    It's strange having no children in the house this morning, but is a little pressure off with getting us all dressed and ready for school/work. I've only got myself to sort.

    Tonight I need to do the ironing. I thought about it last night but a few items of clothing were a little damp on the clothes horse. The boys are sleeping here tonight, but they're having dinner with MrS first. That means that once they get back it will be a quick cuddle and up to bed.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 11th Jan 18, 6:19 PM
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    • 4,499 Thanks
    MrsSave
    I couldn't wait for HMRC's letter so I emailed the finance lady in work (and explained why I was emailing) and she got back to me very fast with the number I needed. I managed to finish filling the form as soon as I got home, and got it down to the post office before the last collection. Fingers crossed it will be sorted with a happy result soon. The web said 5 weeks, but the form said 3 weeks. I'm hoping to have an answer by the end of January.

    I've also done all the ironing since getting home, put the ironed clothes away and tidied the kitchen.I'm ready for a sit down now!! The boys will be back soon, but it will be pretty much bedtime so I won't see much of them. I'm then only going to see them for a few minutes tomorrow (getting them ready for school in the morning and 15 minutes after work) and that will be it until Sunday morning.

    Other than postage (which came from the change in my purse) today has been a nsd. Ynab and the accounts are up to date.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 11th Jan 18, 7:23 PM
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    wishingthemortgaheaway
    All very organised mrs S. What are your plans for tomorrow night & Saturday?
    (Some you time I hope)
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s £34,750.
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2025
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 0/£2,500
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