The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14)

5/24
On track for target but would liked to have managed a week.
Thank you all. xxx

So much for saying I post every day! Yesterday ran away with me and I realised at 1.05 am this morning that I'd missed a day but was too tired to post then to make up for it. Bad me.

takingonedayatatime wrote: »

I'm still on the 'I'm going to miss out on things...' phase rather than 'I want to do this for me, my health, my children and my husband.. (and to a lesser extent my wallet)' phase.

In the early days it does feel as though you'll miss out on things, and that's one of the reasons people keep drinking for a while after they realise that it's getting a bit problematic. I found that drinking something else I liked instead of alcohol helped with that feeling, because as long as I was enjoying myself with the people I was with, I didn't feel as though I was missing something. Your name, One Day, is exactly about this issue, but at that part of the evening in the early days, it's about One Minute At A Time. It won't take long for you to realise that while everyone else is slowly getting pickled, louder and repeating themselves, that you're still sober. It's a rather liberating thought and feeling and I still enjoy it (it happened to me again last night). The second freedom that you have is waking up without a headache, and all of the attendent ca*p that goes with the morning after feeling - I don't miss that one bit.

You're comments on sleeping lots has struck a chord.. last night I went to bed at 8.30 and woke at 7.00 this morning. Right now I am sitting with a mild headache which has been there on and off since last Thursday.. Both of these things can be attributed to less sugar so I'm trying to bear with it for a while. I'd love to eat more chocolate but I have gone up 2 dress sizes in a year so really need to reign the chocolate in a bit!!

I totally get where you're coming from on the sleep, energy and sugar front, and you will be able to lose weight relatively easily, but later on. The trick with trying to spring clean our lives is to start with one area and work on that until it's straightened out, and then move on to the next bit. Trying to do everything at once becomes overwhelming because everything's a struggle. I'd seriously suggest not worrying about your weight while you're in the early days of kicking the booze into touch. Belle says it can wait until the six month mark, and I agree with her on that. The trick is to get to the six month mark!

I think you're doing something I found really, really helpful in the early days - go to bed early, read whatever helps whether it's novels, books about stopping drinking, or magazines, anything that helps you relax, and switch the light out as early as you can reliably fall asleep. It'll make everything ten times easier,

The only concern I have in the immediate future is that I am out with a friend on the 14th October and historically, these days out are always focused on alcohol. I am still looking forward to going out as we have planned charity book shopping and a coffee but I know that when these activities are done it would be normal to go to a bar and drink and when I say thanks by no thanks - there will be raised eyebrows.... So, do I mention it beforehand to give her a chance to cancel or just go and be strong?

It depends on how close you are, what kind of a person she is, and how confident you are of your resolve. (I wasn't, for quite a while - it had let me down so often I knew not to trust it.) I told some people, I didn't tell a lot of others and each situation is different. I'd be tempted to warn her early on that after you've done the shopping and the coffee bit you'd rather not do the bar bit today so that she doesn't get disappointed at the last moment, but that's my stuff and each situation is entirely different. Only you know your friend well enough to know when the right moment arrives. The one thing I absolutely wouldn't do is end up in the bar afterwards and expect my resolve to be enough to stop me drinking. I avoided bars like the plague for at least a month if not two, when I'd got enough days racked up to mean that I was spoiling something important to me if I had one.

In amongst my posts you'll find some tactics for being around people who are planning on drinking and not having to deal with telling them you've gone alcohol-free for a while, but it's so much easier if you can be up front about it with people who matter to you. It also speaks volume about who you can trust.

I did a lot of avoiding for quite a while, until I knew I could trust myself and a large part of that was finding a drink I could enjoy instead of alcohol, and often phoning the bar first to see if they stocked it, or something similar. If they didn't, sometimes I didn't go at all, and on one occasion a restaurant told me I was free to bring my own and they wouldn't charge me for opening them! I love that restaurant!

We're all rooting for you and getting to Day 8 is fantastic!

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Haven't been here for a while (but I do read the thread every now and then), but I seem to have cracked the drinking (for now anyways).

September was 20 days AF (unheard of for me) and I'm up to 3 this month already. I haven't set myself any targets as such, but I just go with the flow and try not to think about it.

I'm still on the 5:2 and so I don't drink on fast days and try not to the day before a fast.

Usually I would drink on a Thursday to celebrate no work on Friday, but I still have to get up with the kids, so fast on a Thursday to take away the temptation.

I'm getting there. I treat myself to a bottle of cava on a Friday and Saturday as something to look forward to.

Lovely to hear from you, Pollyanna. It's brilliant when people who have posted for quite a while come back and say they're doing okay. Every so often I go back a read a bit and realise there are people we haven't heard from for a while and I can't help wondering if they're okay. 20 is brilliant, and good on you for sticking to the 5:2 diet - Max Moseley's a big believer and it seems to suit some people really well.

Gotta dash. Still struggling to catch up with myself.

7/31 please, Shaggy.

Honey Bear - thank you so much for taking the time to comment.. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

I will try my best to forget about the weight issue and concentrate on the alcohol issue for now.. that is more important for me and my family. My friend is a long standing one and I am hopeful she will be supportive. If not - well there isn't much I can do about it as I WILL NOT drink.

I am blown away with the amount of spare money I have in my housekeeping budget over the last 9 days.. (about £50).. oh my word! A combination of no alcohol for me or my husband and the food that I used to eat after a few glasses of wine... So am treating my 3 year old to some winter clothes today.

Money has always been a little tight (hence the reason for me being on this sight in the first place) so its great that I have extra money for the kids without having to budget for them...

7/31 for me please Shaggy

Good morning everyone,
2 more AFD please Shaggy.
Arkers x

Good morning all

Welcome back Green Karen