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  • FIRST POST
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 25th Jul 17, 11:47 PM
    • 14,889Posts
    • 47,955Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Buffy Keeps on the Straight and Narrow
    • #1
    • 25th Jul 17, 11:47 PM
    Buffy Keeps on the Straight and Narrow 25th Jul 17 at 11:47 PM
    Hello,

    I used to post here loads and loads, I have been debt free since 2011 but I am due dental work (yes finally!) and need glasses and work done on the car, the house and the garden so am going to do a 0% balance transfer if I can time everything right and then work very hard on paying it off.

    I do have some savings but they are staying as an emergency fund, I like the security they give me. Plus they may well not be enough. In the back of my mind I think I am due a tax rebate as well, not had time to investigate yet.

    Some things have changed and some things stay the same. As a family we are having a very hard time and that is partly why I am back, I need a reminder not spend all the time and to try to find the cheapest ways to do things. Especially eating.

    Lately I have been buying things from Amazon like it doesn't cost me a thing and do not even get me started on the contactless payment option.....it is really bad!!

    I get paid tomorrow so a little sort out of the budgets and then an investigation of 0% BT offers.

    Love

    Buffy
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
Page 4
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 3rd Sep 17, 4:52 PM
    • 3,369 Posts
    • 28,914 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Yes, me too. I feel ok at the moment, but doubt I'll get much sleep tonight.
    NSTSeptember #32 NSD 8/18 RYSAW17 #1 £1313.42 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 3rd Sep 17, 5:34 PM
    • 637 Posts
    • 8,992 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Hello Buffy
    Just read your diary from the beginning and wanted to pop in to say hello. Sorry you've been having such a tough time lately.
    I've been doing the NST challenges for about a year now and they really have helped me keep focused. Not doing September because I'm on holiday. I'll be back for October.
    Hope things get better for you.
    Last edited by Toni'sfriend; 03-09-2017 at 5:39 PM.
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 3rd Sep 17, 7:56 PM
    • 4,554 Posts
    • 26,678 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    My first day back at work tomorrow after 2 weeks off, not happy about it
    Virtual Sealed Pot £671.22
    November NSD 5/12
    Weight loss 2/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 3rd Sep 17, 8:58 PM
    • 14,889 Posts
    • 47,955 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Reality Bites and the New Normal
    Evening,

    The reality is I am back to work tomorrow.

    It has been a hell of a stressful "holiday" and I don't feel rested or happy or like anything has changed for me personally. We are extremely lucky that my brother in law is alive. Progress is very slow but there and so we continue in the new normal. Which is taking my sister to the station and picking her up and hoping she has had a good day. I don't actually know how she does it. Well it is love in action I suppose.

    I got really upset today, realised in the last six weeks that I have been out about 4 times and not even seen my two best friends.

    It has really brought it home how much time I have wasted previously. All the cliches come true as you get older don't they? You think you have all the time in the world but you don't. I am increasingly aware that Mum needs much more looking after than before. She doesn't like eating at all, for example tonight she has refused dinner and just had a cup of tea. The situation with my BIL has also made me realise that I am now the only one who can keep an eye on her and look after her. She is beginning to forget things, things I have told her the day before for example.

    And she doesn't want me to do things like the shopping and meal planning because she wants to be involved. But then never wants anything to eat.

    And it is all on me, I mean it was to some extent before but I did have some help and actually my sister came round to see Mum, she can't do that now.

    Which means working late will be hard, winter will be hard and looking after the dogs is also going to be difficult.

    It does have to work out somehow and it will. But I have to be honest and say it doesn't feel like it right now.
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 3rd Sep 17, 9:11 PM
    • 48,525 Posts
    • 178,638 Thanks
    beanielou
    I dont know what to say Buffster TBH.
    I am glad I am on my own.
    Take care xxx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 3rd Sep 17, 11:15 PM
    • 4,704 Posts
    • 26,542 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Buffy is your mum still not agreeing to seeing a dr? Maybe there's something they could do if there's something other than current stresses causing the poor memory.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £79,389.12, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £4,055.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £5k/5.5k & £90/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 8/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 4th Sep 17, 7:02 AM
    • 3,369 Posts
    • 28,914 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Lots of love to you Buffy. I really feel for you because you haven't had a holiday at all, and you really sound like you need a rest.
    NSTSeptember #32 NSD 8/18 RYSAW17 #1 £1313.42 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 4th Sep 17, 9:25 AM
    • 637 Posts
    • 8,992 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Buffy, could you have a word with your mother's GP. I know the're not supposed to discuss other patients with you but our practice were very helpful when my mother was getting on in years and doing similar things to your own.They might even welcome you explaining the situation and be able to suggest something or set your mind at rest that maybe this is more common than you realize. It is so difficult when you're trying to do things for the best and she's being stubborn. One thing I would say is take care of yourself. It's all too easy to put other people first and do keep in touch with your friends. I'm sure they would be happy to help in any way they could at this difficult time even if it's just walking the dogs for you.
    Hope things improve soon.
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 4th Sep 17, 8:41 PM
    • 4,554 Posts
    • 26,678 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Make sure you get some time for you. See your friends, have a day or night out away from the stress. The situation will sort itself out eventually but you might have to put up with a new normal indefinitely. It's hard I know. Take care xx
    Virtual Sealed Pot £671.22
    November NSD 5/12
    Weight loss 2/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Sep 17, 9:29 PM
    • 48,525 Posts
    • 178,638 Thanks
    beanielou
    Wise words from SA xx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 17th Sep 17, 12:03 AM
    • 1,909 Posts
    • 8,254 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Hi Buffy, I wanted to pop on and say hi. It's always tough when family is ill and it makes all your other problems seem worse. Stay strong and give yourself a break now and then. You can get through this.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £678/Emergency Fund 2 = £140
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 17th Sep 17, 7:44 PM
    • 48,525 Posts
    • 178,638 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hope things are more on the straigt and narrow now.
    Take care Buffster xxx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 28th Sep 17, 9:59 PM
    • 14,889 Posts
    • 47,955 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Hello,

    *dusts off diary....*

    *looks sheepish*

    Sorry everyone, being back at work and picking up my sister I just seem to have 0 time.

    for example I started this at 730.....had dinner, picked up sister, made lunch, made tea.

    And now it is 9,45

    hmmmmm.

    Brother in law is essentially a miracle in my view. 3 weeks ago he was sleeping and being fed on tube and needed constant oxygen. Now he can speak (slowly and carefully) and is eating food - once today he fed himself, which is incredible.

    All this is amazing but very tiring for my sister. not a single day off in almost 3 months. Love in action.

    In other news, work is hard hard mc hard hard. I no longer tutor and so am a bit skint.

    I have paid the CC bill and current debt stands at 3840

    not paid off as much as I like but I do have 500 saved for Christmas and all of my 4000 in savings are in tact. Much of the stuff in the garden is paid for. I still have stuff to sell.

    I have bought lunch twice this month. I did "need" things from Amazon. I also still need to clothes shop. And boots as well.

    I would say I am going to catch up on everything but am SO freaking tired.

    Big LOVE to you all XXXXX
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 28th Sep 17, 10:06 PM
    • 48,525 Posts
    • 178,638 Thanks
    beanielou
    Good to see you Buffster.
    REmember to take care of you xxx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 29th Sep 17, 9:14 AM
    • 4,704 Posts
    • 26,542 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Hey mrs, just post when you can so we know you're ok. Do you still have your dental treatment lined up? Take care
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £79,389.12, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £4,055.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £5k/5.5k & £90/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 8/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • Pooky
    • By Pooky 29th Sep 17, 8:58 PM
    • 6,725 Posts
    • 41,561 Thanks
    Pooky
    So glad to hear your BIL is on the mend slowly - having been through something similar with my Mum a couple of years ago I know just how exhausting it is and how much time and money it consumes to visit someone daily. (Mum was in London for 8 weeks and every other day I had to get the train to Dad to meet him to carry on the journey into London and the same in reverse, all whilst trying to care for DH and a cat that had just had major surgery......we could barely afford to eat with my train costs being £35 a day but without that input from us all I doubt she'd be with us now).

    You need to spend some time getting "you" back as your main focus, your Mum will ask for help when she needs it, trust her instincts. As for your sister, she'll be shattered but life has changed and she will adapt...I've been there too and it looks worse from the outside but when you're the ones doing it daily, it just becomes normal.

    Love that you got your pond built and hope those cute canine boys of yours are all ok now there's some routine back.

    You know where I am if you want to unload x
    "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with" - W. C. Field.
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 30th Sep 17, 4:29 PM
    • 4,554 Posts
    • 26,678 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Glad your BIL is doing so well. It just goes to show how things can turn around. I visited Mr SA in hospital every day for 9 months so know how tiring it must be for your sister.

    Get yourself some rest xx
    Virtual Sealed Pot £671.22
    November NSD 5/12
    Weight loss 2/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 30th Sep 17, 4:35 PM
    • 1,909 Posts
    • 8,254 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Great news that BIL is feeling better. Hospital visiting is a bit grim in many ways but it sounds like he's got through the worst.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 October 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund
    Emergency Fund 1 = £678/Emergency Fund 2 = £140
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 3rd Oct 17, 11:36 PM
    • 14,889 Posts
    • 47,955 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Just popping into say I paid some of my CC off, had a conversation at work today and just thought, I need to pay off the CC. This job isn't going to last forever and I need to give myself options.

    So I paid 3000 (from my savings) I have 2000 left for the dentist and have 1307 in savings, plus 500 emergency fund and 550 saved for Christmas. Which is a total of 4357. am happy with that.

    This means my current debt stands at £861 And will probably pay it off before Christmas.

    The pond is built, the endless stuff for the rabbits is here. Garden is mostly done. And I can pay for the dentist if it ever happens!

    Plus I need to investigate the tax people.

    Buffy XX
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 4th Oct 17, 9:20 AM
    • 4,704 Posts
    • 26,542 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Make the dental appointment.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £79,389.12, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £4,055.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £5k/5.5k & £90/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 8/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
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