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  • FIRST POST
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 25th Jul 17, 11:47 PM
    • 14,885Posts
    • 47,933Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Buffy Keeps on the Straight and Narrow
    • #1
    • 25th Jul 17, 11:47 PM
    Buffy Keeps on the Straight and Narrow 25th Jul 17 at 11:47 PM
    Hello,

    I used to post here loads and loads, I have been debt free since 2011 but I am due dental work (yes finally!) and need glasses and work done on the car, the house and the garden so am going to do a 0% balance transfer if I can time everything right and then work very hard on paying it off.

    I do have some savings but they are staying as an emergency fund, I like the security they give me. Plus they may well not be enough. In the back of my mind I think I am due a tax rebate as well, not had time to investigate yet.

    Some things have changed and some things stay the same. As a family we are having a very hard time and that is partly why I am back, I need a reminder not spend all the time and to try to find the cheapest ways to do things. Especially eating.

    Lately I have been buying things from Amazon like it doesn't cost me a thing and do not even get me started on the contactless payment option.....it is really bad!!

    I get paid tomorrow so a little sort out of the budgets and then an investigation of 0% BT offers.

    Love

    Buffy
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
Page 2
    • maggiem
    • By maggiem 30th Jul 17, 9:27 AM
    • 310 Posts
    • 1,949 Thanks
    maggiem
    Thinking of you all and do take care of yourself. Visiting hospital daily is exhausting on so many levels, physically, emotionally and financially. Offering prayers for BIL's recovery.
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 30th Jul 17, 11:59 AM
    • 14,885 Posts
    • 47,933 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    thanks Maggiem, it really is.

    There have been a few improvements with my bil, so that is a bit more positive than before.

    I am losing all sense of time at the moment. The vet cost me 141 plus specialist food at 44 and 12 pounds.

    I am cold and tired. Also I got my travel wrong - it is 3.10 each way so actually 6.20 plus 3 for lunch.

    I shall look in to bringing a packed lunch......

    All I want to do it nap with the dogs.

    any how......I checked one Balance transfer and it is 0% for 15 months with a 3% fee.

    Mind you the only thing I care about is him getting better.

    Money all seems a bit silly!
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 30th Jul 17, 10:24 PM
    • 14,885 Posts
    • 47,933 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    There are more improvements with my BIL which is great, amazing in fact. I am sure had we not all been up at the hospital for 8 hours a day for two weeks we would have been a great deal happier about it. I am happy on in the inside. Also deeply worried about Mum. At 80 she shouldn't really be doing this every day but neither of us can stop her. My sister is ok.....we aren't a close family so spending SO much time together can be difficult. sort of manners and light conversation when things are as serious as they can get.

    There are more doctors coming to look at BIL tomorrow and we might have more of a prognosis.

    Spends - 6.20 on travel and 3 pound on lunch.

    Hopefully once we know more we can make some plans.
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 30th Jul 17, 10:33 PM
    • 48,483 Posts
    • 178,348 Thanks
    beanielou
    8 hours a day
    Look after yourself Buffy & try to get your mum to take it easy.
    Easier said than done I know xxx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Scott_Weiland
    • By Scott_Weiland 30th Jul 17, 11:06 PM
    • 616 Posts
    • 1,500 Thanks
    Scott_Weiland
    I know its easy for me to say this but you have only one family i wouldnt even be thinking re money at the moment.

    Thinking of you all x
    Debts 15981.64 total paid 2078
    Cashback Earnings YTD £166.90 Survey Earnings YTD £535.12
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 30th Jul 17, 11:07 PM
    • 4,701 Posts
    • 26,483 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Hey mrs, great to see you back. Just wish the circs were better for you. Take care and keep posting. I know what you mean about enforced family contact but sometimes you just gotta go with it. Count to ten, bite your tongue and then come here to offload.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £79,389.12, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £4,055.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £5k/5.5k & £90/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 8/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 5th Aug 17, 10:18 PM
    • 14,885 Posts
    • 47,933 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    I am almost broken tonight.

    No real reason - my brother in law is stable. Variable responses. terrifying how a doctor looks at you when you say he didn't respond. awful in fact. He is still sedated tho so responses are varied.

    Another woman at the hospital gave me some tea today. People are so kind, that broke me.

    I just want to hug everyone and make them better.


    Now.
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 6th Aug 17, 6:19 PM
    • 5,320 Posts
    • 26,124 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I have no wise words, however dropping in some ((Hugs)) x
    DFW £1783.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £571.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • maddiemay
    • By maddiemay 6th Aug 17, 6:38 PM
    • 3,168 Posts
    • 27,838 Thanks
    maddiemay
    Having been in the same situation with my DB twice in 4 years I totally understand and send you much love and loads of positive vibes. In our case 5.5 weeks in induced coma, hospital 65 miles away from DH and me and at least another 15 for his DW and children. He survived and recovered, returned to fitness and full time work, then this year had scheduled surgery to repair a large and very volatile aneurysm, he is slowly mending from 8.5 hours very invasive surgery.

    Thinking of you, I remember how much it helped me to know that friends and also lovely virtual friends helped me, and I am sure him too.

    xxxxxxx
    MM
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 9th Aug 17, 10:37 PM
    • 14,885 Posts
    • 47,933 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Brother in Law is off the ventilator!

    That is a bit amazing. in the realm of miracle in fact.

    I am not going to lie, this is been a real eye opener for me. I am not close to my sister, we are very different and this whole experience has felt like a massive intrusion on her life. If she could drive I wonder if Mum and I would be there at all. It's not horrible - I don't mean I hate her - quite the opposite in fact, I do love her. We just don't do anything together or share the same politics, view of people, the only thing we have in common is Mum!

    Today I was meant to have lunch with my friends. I didn't go because it was a big day at the hospital and everyone understood. Apart from me, who for a moment thought Why am I doing this exactly?? And it was a bad moment, a short flash of frustration - I know I was being selfish - my sister is going through hell at the moment and I should be there for her regardless. It really is a miracle he is off the ventilator.

    Just hard that is all, I am upset with myself that I had those thoughts and even voiced my frustration to my Mum who was obviously torn - she knows how hard last term was and how much I was looking forward to this holiday, it was a weak moment we all have them...Well I hope we do!

    oooofhhhhhhhhh

    money wise, things are tight! (just keep it slightly relevant!)
    Last edited by Buffythedebtslayer; 09-08-2017 at 10:54 PM.
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 10th Aug 17, 12:19 PM
    • 14,885 Posts
    • 47,933 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Morning,

    When all this started I thought if by the 10th of August we were still doing the hospital thing then I would have make sure I was also getting things done.

    Today I am going with my sister and giving Mum a much needed day off. I will stay home tomorrow. He does seem to be doing well. So fingers crossed that continues

    Tomorrow I will work on the house, the de-cluttering is almost done, bar the shed and some things to sell.

    By Saturday I hope to have a space upstairs to work and downstairs to relax and it shouldn't cost me any money.

    The Hal£fax have offered me a 0% 15 month money transfer so am going to borrow 4000 pounds (3% fee) to pay for the dentist, car repairs, the fish pond, and some gardening stuff. All a bit indulgent but I am tired of living with half finished jobs and waiting always waiting.

    It works out as 266 a month which I can pay. Also I opened a savings account and I will pay 100 pounds in a month in. Budget works out. Just.

    I hope to use all the MSE tricks to pay it off quickly.

    At the end of last year I found a book called the Miracle Morning and I have tried to implement the plan it talks about. It hasn't yet worked, but I hope to restart on Monday. I don't know if anyone else has heard of the book but it is worth a read.

    Just had an enormous breakfast and feel stuffed!

    think I need a nap
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 10th Aug 17, 10:23 PM
    • 14,885 Posts
    • 47,933 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Evening

    Weirdly after writing all that yesterday I had a really good day with my sister B IL is doing pretty well considering everything - immensely tired so asleep mostly but they want to move him out of ICU. He woke up briefly and recognised my sister

    We talked about Mum, make up and a little bit of politics. We are different but hopefully today I was some help to her.

    Mum isn't well - she has a cough, this is a deeply unusual experience and she is most put out!

    I have set up my "miracle morning" stuff. going to make some tea and find some thing nice to eat. (Just had Goodfellas Pizza, it wasn't nice...)

    XXXX
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • MessyMare
    • By MessyMare 13th Aug 17, 12:06 PM
    • 948 Posts
    • 4,018 Thanks
    MessyMare
    Oh I'm so glad things are going better, and I hope your mum feels better soon.

    How do you get on with Miracle morning? I've read a bit about it but never tried it
    DEBT: £1658.22/£76843
    EMERGENCY FUND: £575/£1000
    Our greatest weakness lies in giving up; always try just one more time
    • juliejim
    • By juliejim 16th Aug 17, 9:18 PM
    • 7,504 Posts
    • 151,048 Thanks
    juliejim
    Hope your BIL is continuing to improve and that you get some me time
    NST #10 Steps 7K 2/30 10K 2/12 5 a day 3/30 NSD 0/20
    MBNA £5500
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 16th Aug 17, 9:24 PM
    • 48,483 Posts
    • 178,348 Thanks
    beanielou
    Buffy's BIL has been moved to another ward.
    Progress is being made slowly
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • juliejim
    • By juliejim 16th Aug 17, 9:26 PM
    • 7,504 Posts
    • 151,048 Thanks
    juliejim
    That's good news Beanie
    NST #10 Steps 7K 2/30 10K 2/12 5 a day 3/30 NSD 0/20
    MBNA £5500
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 18th Aug 17, 10:28 PM
    • 14,885 Posts
    • 47,933 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Sorry I haven't been here to update, Mum has been ill and has refused to go to the doctors, just constantly coughs and is tired and is very very very very difficult to look after.

    I appreciate no one wants to be a burden and she is quite independent so I don't blame her but her negativity is overwhelming.

    My poor sister got the full force of me venting I feel so bad about that. truly. Cos like she doesn't have enough to deal with! but two weeks and only seeing one other person it is difficult. I used to be round loads of people and doing loads of things. Life at the moment is so hard for my sister and B in L, and then hard in a much lesser way for Mum and I. Although I am very frightened by her breathing and the idea she could have pneumonia.

    I can't think about that tho. drive myself nuts.

    I had the fish pond built. I should be happy but sometimes getting what you want makes you realise it isn't what you want at all.

    Don't ask too much deep and meaningful tonight.

    I need to start selling things.

    Quick and dirty list
    (with a rough price, been looking online for the prices of stuff)
    1. large dog crate 25
    2. small dog crate 20
    3. small dog crate 20
    4. hamster cage 5
    5. hamster cage 5
    6. Run 5
    7. Run 10
    8. CD rack 3
    9. fish tank 15
    10. Fish stuff 7
    11. Puppy pen 15


    I am very upset tonight. What an utterly rubbish day.

    Night all XX
    Last edited by Buffythedebtslayer; 20-08-2017 at 8:24 AM.
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 18th Aug 17, 10:31 PM
    • 48,483 Posts
    • 178,348 Thanks
    beanielou
    Buffy ~~of course you are worried about your mum added to everything else going on.
    Why wont she go to Dr?
    Could you make appointment & would she then go?
    Take care of you too xxx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • MessyMare
    • By MessyMare 20th Aug 17, 11:10 AM
    • 948 Posts
    • 4,018 Thanks
    MessyMare
    hugs Buffy xx
    DEBT: £1658.22/£76843
    EMERGENCY FUND: £575/£1000
    Our greatest weakness lies in giving up; always try just one more time
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 20th Aug 17, 1:00 PM
    • 5,320 Posts
    • 26,124 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Buffy ~~of course you are worried about your mum added to everything else going on.
    Why wont she go to Dr?
    Could you make appointment & would she then go?
    Take care of you too xxx
    Originally posted by beanielou
    Agree with this ((Hugs)) x
    DFW £1783.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £571.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
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