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  • FIRST POST
    • Slinky
    • By Slinky 19th Jul 17, 2:04 PM
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    Slinky
    KonMari 2017 - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up
    • #1
    • 19th Jul 17, 2:04 PM
    KonMari 2017 - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up 19th Jul 17 at 2:04 PM
    Since there seems to be a few new threads being started in case old ones are accidentally lost, shall I do the same for KonMari?

    Here's the links to the old threads with thanks to VfM4meplse and greent

    2016

    2015

    'The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up' by Marie Kondo is a home organisation/ decluttering book like no other. Instead of looking for things to discard, Marie Kondo says we should instead look for things we wish to keep - using the 'does it spark joy?' method. Ultimately this means that everything in our homes should spark joy for us You might not think that everyday and seemingly mundane items can't spark joy - but you need to think around it a little. So whilst an iron may not spark joy, wearing ironed clothes may. A cheese grater may not spark joy, but your child may really like grated cheese in their wraps - which brings joy.

    Marie Kondo also says that this should be done quickly and properly. This may take six months to achieve, but tidying properly should mean doing it just once. This is against the often-seen decluttering advice of doing 15 minutes a day, or a drawer/ shelf a day.

    MK suggests an order as to what to sort through first and subsequently. This is important - she starts with items which many people do not have an emotional attachment to (clothes) and builds up to sentimental items (photos) so that a person's joy-meter can be developed along the way.

    Many MSE-ers have been following the KM method (kondo-ing) successfully. It fits into the MSE ethos by changing your mindse - you will no longer want to shop mindlessly for something 'just because' or 'it'll do' - you will want to buy only joyful items, thereby often saving ££ on random, impulse purchases.
    Last edited by Slinky; 20-07-2017 at 2:10 PM.
Page 38
    • catshark88
    • By catshark88 16th Sep 17, 4:45 PM
    • 949 Posts
    • 6,254 Thanks
    catshark88
    I think this is interesting. It's a quotation from "Goodbye Things" by Fumio Sasaki:

    "Minimalism is not a competition. Donít boast about how little you have. Donít judge someone who has more than you. A minimalist can easily fall into the trap of bragging about how little they have or competing with others over who has the least. As I said in chapter 1 , I think a minimalist is a person who knows whatís truly necessary for them, a person who reduces so they can focus on whatís really important. The things that are necessary will vary from person to person, so there isnít much point to comparing yourself with others. In my opinion, a person can be surrounded with a lot of possessions that are truly necessary to them. If owning many things gives someone real meaning and purpose, then thereís really no need for them to try to get rid of anything. Thereís no reason to judge a person like that. Similarly, thereís no need to go too far and part with things that are really necessary for you. Minimalism is not a rite of penance, nor is it a competitive sport. It is simply a means to an end." Page 150.
    "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful." William Morris
    • Karmacat
    • By Karmacat 16th Sep 17, 6:32 PM
    • 28,064 Posts
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    Karmacat
    That's a great quote, catshark.
    Retired August 2016
    • Fen1
    • By Fen1 16th Sep 17, 6:45 PM
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    • 4,556 Thanks
    Fen1
    GQ, you have a point about poverty. Not having Justin and Andy as bedfellows is an incredibly difficult behaviour to break.

    It is easy to get rid of stuff, and then re-purchase the same items when needed, if you've always been in the position for doing so. I have relatives and friends who think nothing of binning all of the food from the table, where not a single tomato or bread roll is saved for the next meal. But they've never gone hungry, or gotten sick from damp houses, or dreaded homelessness. They've always had, so having or not having is easy. No decision about discarding an object for them is fraught with what-ifs.


    It is easy to own very little when you've never been forced to have nothing. It is easy to pronounce on values when you've never had the humiliation of being coat-less and hungry and dirty.

    "Choice" is a loaded word.
    • GreyQueen
    • By GreyQueen 16th Sep 17, 6:55 PM
    • 11,364 Posts
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    GreyQueen
    Yeah. I'm always shocked when a pal spends £10-£12 on some snacks or something overpriced and non-nourishing in the supermarket when that's my week's grocery budget (and I eat good food, just on YS and a lot of veggies).

    I have real fears of poverty and have spent most of my adult life in places which either had no heating whatsoever or pathetic and unaffordable heating, such as drafty bedsits with a two bar electic fire (on a meter, 30 mins for 50p, barely touched the cold).

    I fear if I let good usable things, which I will get around to using in the fullness of time) go, then I won't have the means to replace them when I do need them. As a singleton with several chronic health conditions, who already cannot work full-time, this isn't dark imaginings but my reality.
    Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.
    John Ruskin
    Veni, vidi, eradici
    (I came, I saw, I kondo'd)

    • Fen1
    • By Fen1 16th Sep 17, 7:04 PM
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    Fen1
    Hugs GQ.

    I truly and deeply sympathise.

    Hugs.
    • GreyQueen
    • By GreyQueen 16th Sep 17, 7:08 PM
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    GreyQueen
    Bless your kind heart - many have had it much worse, and I have resources such as my Magic Greengrocer, from whose shop I came away with 13 huge (if slightly dinged-up) baking spuds and half a carrierbagful of apples this afternoon for £1 the lot. Am now dining on a baked spud and leftover chili con carne, unit cost probably about 30p per meal as this is the 5th portion of the pot of chili whose major incredient was £1.69 of mince. Nom nom nom
    Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.
    John Ruskin
    Veni, vidi, eradici
    (I came, I saw, I kondo'd)

    • daisy 1571
    • By daisy 1571 16th Sep 17, 7:29 PM
    • 160 Posts
    • 1,979 Thanks
    daisy 1571
    My word people, I turn my back for a day or so and everyone's gone all deep and exostential (?) on me ! Some interesting topics and just as I think I have it all sorted you clever people say another little turn of phrase or golden thought that just clicks another little piece of this jigsaw I call my life into place. Yup, some lovely nuggets in the last few pages to think about

    daisy xx
    "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion" Take hold of every moment by anon

    The difference between what you were yesterday and what you will be tomorrow is what you do today
    • Fen1
    • By Fen1 16th Sep 17, 7:31 PM
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    • 4,556 Thanks
    Fen1
    When I was in digs I had a period of poor health: a tummy bug was doing the rounds and I had the runs. It went on for weeks.

    I ended up snaffling toilet paper from my college. Horrible hard paper from the giant rolls. I couldn't afford to buy more toilet paper. Nor heating. Nor a winter coat.

    That is the reality and the humiliation of having nothing.


    There is a reason why I now have a cupboard full of loo roll and tissues.


    The humiliation, and the indignity, and the degredation. Those are the things that have stayed with me.
    • SmlSave
    • By SmlSave 16th Sep 17, 7:58 PM
    • 4,701 Posts
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    SmlSave
    It is easy to get rid of stuff, and then re-purchase the same items when needed, if you've always been in the position for doing so. I have relatives and friends who think nothing of binning all of the food from the table, where not a single tomato or bread roll is saved for the next meal. But they've never gone hungry, or gotten sick from damp houses, or dreaded homelessness. They've always had, so having or not having is easy. No decision about discarding an object for them is fraught with what-ifs.
    Originally posted by Fen1
    Fen1, may I steal your wonderful words for my blog if I get round to writing an appropriate post?
    Boy Smllet born 23/06/2011 and Girl Smllet born 01/03/2014

    5 year challenge to pay off £20,000
    £350 per month challenge
    • MMF007
    • By MMF007 16th Sep 17, 8:21 PM
    • 997 Posts
    • 22,683 Thanks
    MMF007
    You lot are so interesting and insightful, thank you so much

    GQ "releasing something because I don't like it is also a perfectly valid position. Plus, I have become less attached to some things. "

    YES, YES, YES !

    Today I released a lovely box, in which I had put some very nice pot pourri, with the idea of gifting it. I did this last Xmas. I still cannot think of which friend would like it so ........ it's in the CS bag. A person who really wants it will see it and the CS will benefit too

    DH ground to a halt ( ) so I tasked him with cooking dinner () while I released my inner crafter and made 5 greetings cards. I had a lovely time. It's been a while since i made cards but I so enjoy doing it. I made 2 anniversary cards, an 80th birthday, a 90th birthday, and a 'Have fun at University' card Reviewing my craft stash reveals that it needs a little re-organisation to make it more orderly. It is not exactly out of control but like items are not necessarily together so i had to delve a bit to find some pretty papers.

    I shall be releasing a large beachbag shortly but it occurred to me that I should fill it with donations and take the lot to CS, so it is a work in progress. I am in the zone and would happily Kondo all day tomorrow but DH wants us to go to a plant fair ('cos we only have a zillion planters full of plants )
    I have changed my work-life balance to a life-work balance.
    • GreyQueen
    • By GreyQueen 16th Sep 17, 8:25 PM
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    • 218,661 Thanks
    GreyQueen
    (((((((((Fen))))))))))

    Poverty isn't anything like as glamourous as elegant minimalism, is it?

    I remember having only one pair of shoes. The right one leaked badly, out in any modest amount of rain and my sock was soaked from mid-foot to toe. Do you have any idea of how often it rains in Scotland in winter? I was soooo glad when I finally had a pair of non-leaky shoes (£3 on sale).

    Being very poor means lots and lots of grubby little compromises and dodges and efforts to hold everything together whilst still not slipping below a certain standard of appearance (cleanliness, grooming etc) which could see you excluded from everyday society. Plus getting ill a lot because your home is too cold and your diet isn't great and often feeling a bit feeble because you need a few good square meals........

    I was chatting with a pal, a nice fellow exactly half my age (he's in his mid-twenties). We agreed that the people at the very top of society, and the people at the very bottom, can pretty much do what they like but folks in the middle have to hustle to be respectable - we then went off to womble some fruit from a derelict and un-tenanted allotment (feeling guilty as hell but we did it anyway).
    Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.
    John Ruskin
    Veni, vidi, eradici
    (I came, I saw, I kondo'd)

    • MMF007
    • By MMF007 16th Sep 17, 8:45 PM
    • 997 Posts
    • 22,683 Thanks
    MMF007
    KM is also about finding the right location or even purpose for items so that the magic strikes.
    Good example today:
    Years and years ago (prob 20?) we bought a clip-on light from Ik** . For a long time it illuminated under the open stairs in the LR, so we could see to put CDs on. Then I had a swap round and the lamp was wrapped up and put in a drawer. Today, while crafting, I realised that the low Autumn light levels were hampering my efforts and literally, had a LBM! I went and got the light out and set it up so there are no shadows. Joy!

    Have also managed to find the right location for my new dvd player and remote control. Phew. I was a bit worried about bringing something else into the house, but it is all sorted and I am happy!
    I have changed my work-life balance to a life-work balance.
    • elona
    • By elona 16th Sep 17, 9:41 PM
    • 11,249 Posts
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    elona
    Every time visitors are expected I end up whisking everything lying around, clean laundry, post, books etc into my bedroom out of the way.

    It means my nice big bedroom looks like something out of "Steptoe and Son" (the black and white version) and has been getting me down so today i decided to make a start on it.

    Clean laundry has all been sorted and books and toiletries are in a bag ready to go to a charity shop. I still have a bit more tidying to do but I am better able to find things and my heart does not sink when I go inside the room.

    Lovely scented candles are now on the windowsill and the lavender handmade bar of soap is now in the bathroom where I can use it every day.

    All clean clothes are now in my wardrobe and easily found and towels are folded in the airing cupboard. Spare clothes hangers and laundry basket are now in the garage out of the way and old tatty slippers are in the bin and new ones are on my feet.


    Trying to use what I have and not let things spoil because they are too good to use!!! I also want to be able to find things easily even small things like sticky tape, plasters, notepaper, envelopes and pens and not just go and buy more.

    Realised that because I think tidying will take hours I don't even start on it so gave myself a talking to and decided that even ten minutes every half hour is better than nothing and am amazed how much I got done today.

    GQ and fen

    I agree with you that there is a vast gulf between "poverty", "elegant minimalism" and "frugality". Poverty does not give you a choice! I find people p**cing around being pompous and holier than thou about lifestyle choices and declaiming from on high quite sickening.
    Not meaning marie, other bloggers or posters but some of those who have made it a business and a dogma. It reminds me of Victorian preachers who told the poor they were lucky because they did not have the money to be tempted into sins like drink, gluttony etc..
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • minnie2
    • By minnie2 16th Sep 17, 9:58 PM
    • 508 Posts
    • 8,625 Thanks
    minnie2
    So i have some child free time tomorrow. ..not much but enough to start a meaningful declutter and just come upon this thread i have never heard of her books.can i use this method tomorrow without having read it? Help!!
    Frugal living challenge - need to revisit its been.a while !! Need to reduce our debts!!
    • elona
    • By elona 16th Sep 17, 10:18 PM
    • 11,249 Posts
    • 59,958 Thanks
    elona
    Minnie

    Have a quick look on you tube for her videos which will get you started off. You can also order her books from the library.

    I still get a kick from seeing knickers neatly folded in a drawer with bras and hankies and socks and pyjamas folded in another drawer so I can find things quickly. I love that the airing cupboard is neatly stacked in terms of size and colour as well. I have my wardrobe sorted so dresses, trousers and jackets are in size order so I can find things that fit me now rather than try to squeeze myself into something and then give up.

    DDs were visiting the other week and one of them asked if I had spare socks if I could lend her as hers were soaked and before I could get up another dd said "I know where they are" and went straight to my bedroom and brought back a pair from the chest of drawers.No rummaging around in a full to bursting drawer and trying to pair socks either.
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • PollyWollyDoodle
    • By PollyWollyDoodle 17th Sep 17, 8:44 AM
    • 809 Posts
    • 20,699 Thanks
    PollyWollyDoodle
    Gosh this thread has suddenly got very thoughtful! Catshark, thank you for that quote - really helpful. I love my books, my baking tins and my craft supplies and they're a huge part of what I do and who I am.

    I grew up in a happy home but one where money was in short supply - everything was budgeted for carefully, and there wasn't much to spare. We often wore second-hand clothes and made things ourselves.

    My brother is horrified that I shop in charity shops from choice, that I sometimes make my own clothes, and that my sister makes handmade greetings cards. He sees all these (and probably buying YS food!) as things you only do if you're poor. I see them as being thrifty and environmentally responsible, and feel sure my mum, who had to do these things from necessity, would have approved. It must be nature, not nurture!
    "Inconceivable". "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
    • kittie
    • By kittie 17th Sep 17, 9:07 AM
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    • 63,891 Thanks
    kittie
    yes oh yes GQ, the people in the middle and I would add to that, the people in the middle who grew up in very real poverty, I class myself as one of those, hence accumulating justin stuff and in the latter years, letting go has been one long and difficult psychological battle. Only now almost 70, am I realsising that I will be ok and why I accumulated stuff

    I got myself into a pickle last night, went up to bed and thought I would be cold, it was definitely cooler, se went on a hunt for my duvet. I had been so methodical doing my airing cupboard and underbed storage, using many of those vacuum bags which squash airy bedding and pillows. I blooming hadn`t labelled any of them. Many bags later, duvet expanded itself out of a bag and then I spent over an hour re-doing all the bags, with labels and in process dragged out the, gone past it, pillows and other various bits. Made a pile on the landing and went to sleep in my flannelette sheets and wool duvet, cosy as a bug. That pile has just gone to the tip but not a heck of a lot of new space because it had all been vac packed

    Wine bottles next, full ones, hm but I don`t drink, hardly at all and don`t want to pass it on to dd as I think they already drink enough wine and I have noticed them drinking less, I don`t want to spark a bad habit. The white wine is easy, I will empty 2 bottles at a time, down the sink. The red is matured elderberry, which should taste gorgeous after maturing for four years but a step at a time, I will use a bit of red in cooking my mutton and have a sip and decide. I am not passing them onto neighbours, they can all afford wine and I don`t want to hand onto the few that can drink a bottle in an evening by themselves
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 17th Sep 17, 9:14 AM
    • 3,248 Posts
    • 51,783 Thanks
    silvasava
    So much food for thought from all you lovely people and GQ your phrase about the grubby compromises of poverty really resonates.
    I've not read KM but reading though the posts her ethos comes through very clearly. I've been able to let stuff to that had been kept because it was a present, someone's discards or had an emotional attachment. I've still got a long way to go but I am much more objective now especially with Justin and Andy. I know my clothes mountain is because of the paucity up until my 40's but even that is being tackled. Thank you all for your support and continued inspiration xx
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • greent
    • By greent 17th Sep 17, 9:15 AM
    • 6,423 Posts
    • 64,858 Thanks
    greent
    Love that quote, catshark x

    Both OH and myself come from 1970s single-parent, council-flat households, where the grandparents were very much working-class families in council accom. Money was tight, food ran out by (sometimes before) payday and there was never spare food to have as a snack - it was all accounted for for meals (no chance of being overweight!) I wore my school shoes (Clarks lace ups - weird long skinny feet with narrow heels and long toes with a family trait of curving inwards - Clarks were worth the extra to have something which fitted and lasted) at the weekends. I had one coat (not especially warm, I seem to remember). We only had a fire in the living room and no heating anywhere else - so I'd take my clothes into the living room on a cold morning to get dressed. The inside of our windows had ice on them and the windowsills outside had long icicles hanging down. Parts of the inside had never been boarded and plastered, so were just painted brick - they were especially chilly! Hot water came from the immersion, which was limited - so we'd mainly have strip washes in the sink and wash our hair in the sink, mainly with cold water - a kettle of hot doesn't go far to get all that done! We walked & caught buses to places. I had very few things (toys/ books) and clothes and some floors were bare, some had threadbare carpet (to the point of a metre wide patch of just white threads), others old, worn rugs. We could have fitted into a minimalist lifestyle, I guess - but it wasn't by choice - we were just poor. And what we had wasn't necessarily the good quality, lasting items that you see with some minimalists. Ours wasn't a lifestyle choice - and the minimalism bandwagon often seems to be a well-off lifestyle choice. (Not all minimalists are well off, I know - but for some it seems to pay very well.....)

    My house is not minimalist. Some areas are reasonably minimal in number of items - our (large) lounge contains just 2 large sofas, 3 side tables, a footstool (the sort which opens, so throws are 'hidden' in there when not in use) and a tv on a stand. There is a mirror above the mantel - which just has candles on it. The windowsill at one end has 2 wooden ornaments, a plain clear glass vase and a candle on (and a co-ordinating small box of tissues!) The curtains at either end, though, are a deep purple chenille with gold tassle tiebacks. The sofas are a mid-light tweedy lilac - piled with gold, deep purple and mid purple cushions in various textures. When out, the throws are deep purple or golds and browns in fluffy or inviting shiny/ soft fabrics. Not minimalistic to look at or touch - and very joy-sparking (for me) The rest of the house seems to be awash with leg0 (I mean awash!)

    I don't think I will ever be fully kondo-ed. Firstly, I'm not sure how anyone with children at home can be - they grow and their tastes and needs change. However, even we as adults 'grow' as a person (I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, when I was an aromatherapist and soap maker by trade) and our tastes/ needs change - and so we continue to also need km, even if that is at less-frequent intervals. An easy example of this for many is retirement - no longer the need for a 'working wardrobe' - maybe also subscriptions to professional journals and a bookshelf full of work-related text books.

    I've lost the plot with this post, and it's not coherent. 'Professional' minimalists originally inspired me several years ago but are now often very same-y - and chasing money/ fame for courses/ books/ followers/ subscriptions - and no longer touch me in the same way. I don't want to be minimalist. But I do want what I have to be lovely (which includes a small collection of highly-impractical and not worn very often high heeled shoes, but which I love) Most of all after the obvious health of family etc) I want my house to be a home - a welcoming home for those who live in it, and those who visit it. Less 'stuff' makes that easier in that it's easier to keep clean and tidy - but the vast collection of Leg0 everywhere brings my youngest 2 much joy (and much imagination and creativity is sparked by it) and therefore indirectly brings me joy. AT some point it will go and be replaced by other things - and then it will all go at some further future point

    Hmm - definitely wandering off course here - off to get paracetamol and tea (need is not alcohol induced!) and maybe re-visit later!
    x
    I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul
    Repaid mtge early (orig 11/25) Bal 01/09 £124616 01/10 £104927 01/11 £89873 01/12 £76317 01/13 £52546 01/14 £35356 01/15 £12133 07/15 £NIL
    Next: BTL Mtge 12/16 £69786. 2017 OPs (#18) £5034/£3286
    Net sales 2017 £1221.45/£500 PAYDOX17 £11937/£10k Decluttered 1730/2017 items
    • Fen1
    • By Fen1 17th Sep 17, 9:29 AM
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    • 4,556 Thanks
    Fen1
    SmlSave, quote away. This is a public forum so nothing I type is really mine once it is "out there".

    ( Hmm, that's a bit philosophical too. Yours, mine, ours, nobody's. Ownership, authorship, individual, communal.....Hmm)


    I was feeling quite sad and frustrated last night, so I'd like to clarify my rather jumbled thoughts. I do not blame my relatives for the way they are, it is not "their fault" that they can discard without a second thought, just as it is not "my fault" that every decision must be weighed.
    I am encumbered by my past, a way of living that had few choices and any there were were difficult. My relatives have freedom of choice, so much so that they do not even realise that they have that freedom. They can "automatic pilot" through the prosaic and mundane, whilst I'm battling with everything.

    How lovely it must be to have such freedom! (Their wastage of perfectly good food is a totally different matter&#128521

    I know someone who furnished her first house entirely with brand new items. The spare bedroom, however, was empty. She didn't have any money left to furnish it exactly as she wanted. One of her relatives offered a few pieces from their own guest-room ( barely used and in excellent condition.) Friend refused the free furniture, even though it was only make-do-for-now. It was not exactly right, so better to be without.

    I would have gladly taken the free furniture.

    What does that say about her? What does that say about me?
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