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  • FIRST POST
    • Knit Witch
    • By Knit Witch 18th Jul 17, 8:29 PM
    • 3,284Posts
    • 30,145Thanks
    Knit Witch
    The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!
    • #1
    • 18th Jul 17, 8:29 PM
    The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat! 18th Jul 17 at 8:29 PM
    As threads are going walkabout I thought I would start the next stage of this off - I will try and do the links later!
    V3ry - £449.60
Page 200
    • MMF007
    • By MMF007 11th Feb 18, 8:38 PM
    • 1,107 Posts
    • 25,552 Thanks
    MMF007
    I have elderly friends and clients. 2 people have recently told me that they saved too much. They went without to save for their retirement but then never 'took the brakes off' and now find themselves widowed with plenty of money and poor health.
    DH reminds me of this when I am reluctant to tap into our savings.
    This is why we are working part-time (although DH is full time in summer) and have about 9 weeks off every year (mostly to visit family and friends during staycations but we try to take one holiday abroad each year ). We want to make the most of our time and our money.

    We know we are lucky but some of the luck we made ourselves, studying while working, budgeting carefully, researching before making big financial decisions and, probably most crucially, staying in our tiny house and clearing the motgage rather than taking on a lot of debt.

    I have willed everything to DH except any of mum's jewellery (after I die that will go to her only granddaughter, my brother's little girl). If DH goes first my estate will be split between my only sibling and one of DH's sisters (his other sister is a bad person and I won't even send her a xmas card).
    I have changed my work-life balance to a life-work balance.
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 11th Feb 18, 9:34 PM
    • 3,432 Posts
    • 44,090 Thanks
    monnagran
    I've just had a nasty shock. Logged on to the Forum list, looked for the Garden Fence and couldn't find it. Then realised that the Doorstep was listed with the last post being March 2015. Further investigation showed that some entries were todays and the rest varied at any time in the last 3 or 4 years.

    Went back and logged on again and there you were.

    I must go and lie down.
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
    • nursemaggie
    • By nursemaggie 11th Feb 18, 9:37 PM
    • 1,979 Posts
    • 25,655 Thanks
    nursemaggie
    Same happened to me Monna.
    • Lindagreenacre
    • By Lindagreenacre 11th Feb 18, 10:39 PM
    • 74 Posts
    • 44 Thanks
    Lindagreenacre
    We made sure that we own the house as tenants in common. That way, if one dies and the other has to go into care, only half the property can be taken into account when paying for fees and the rest will eventually go to our son. Of course it all falls apart if we both go into care.
    • JackieO
    • By JackieO 11th Feb 18, 11:00 PM
    • 15,600 Posts
    • 131,632 Thanks
    JackieO
    And to think I always thought Bexley village was very conservative (as well as Conservative) and a bit up itself.
    Originally posted by bouicca21
    It was and as far as I know still, is Ted Heath was the local MP for years. My children went to University School there, and not long after they left the head ran away with the school fee's so bad lad's abound even in the poshest places.Dorothy Squires used th live there with Rodger Moore when they were married, and often fell out of the pub in the village feeling a bit 'emotional' Funny little place to live really, but great fun, and it had some lovely deli shops ,most of whom are long gone now sadly.I used to take my children to the stables on a Sunday morning for riding and crossing the North Cray Road was dicing with death on horseback against the cars that whizzed down to Ruxley Corner

    JackieO xxx
    Quot Libros,Quam Breve Tempus.
    2018 Food spend so far this year
    Jan; £29.22. Feb: £12.44 today plus £18.05 =£30.49
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 12th Feb 18, 8:42 AM
    • 3,432 Posts
    • 44,090 Thanks
    monnagran
    Morning all.

    Bright and cold and I am reluctant to put my feet out of bed but needs must. I may be having Pickle and her friend here this morning. DS2 is taking turns with said friend's mother in having both girls during half term and he has something that must be done this morning and isn't sure if friend's mother is free to have the girls today.

    I hope you were reading that carefully. There will be questions later.

    So, today's activities are fluid to say the least. It will be easier if I come back later and report on what I've done. You will have to try to contain your impatience.

    In the meantime........

    THOUGHT FOR TODAY

    Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing has happened.
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
    • Hard Up Hester
    • By Hard Up Hester 12th Feb 18, 10:51 AM
    • 3,419 Posts
    • 41,716 Thanks
    Hard Up Hester
    Lol Monna, I think I've grasped it.
    I gave all my good jewellery away when we moved on to the boat, I had enough to give a nice ring to four of the granddaughters, my eternity ring is promised to the granddaughter that shares my name. Some people were surprised that I gave a gold ring to a foster granddaughter as they don't class her as family. I do class her as family.
    Chin up, Titus out.
    • VJsmum
    • By VJsmum 12th Feb 18, 11:40 AM
    • 5,015 Posts
    • 73,773 Thanks
    VJsmum
    Ever since I was a little girl, my auntie (who had no children) told me she would leave me all her jewelry when she died. As more girls came along (for many years I was the only granddaughter on that side of the family), my share went down..

    As we got older she started to give us individual pieces that she thought we would like. She got lung cancer and went into hospital at one point during which her home was burgled and they took all remaining jewelry.. She didn't live much longer - the insurance paid out the value of what was stolen and her siblings (who inherited) agreed that the nieces should have the insurance payout for the jewelry. Not quite the same as having her precious pieces - so whilst i berated her at the time for giving it away while she was alive, I am so glad she did as I have a few treasured pieces that she chose for me.

    We bought a couple of pictures with the insurance payout, the rest we spent over the years when we wanted to be extravagant - i.e. if we went to a posher restaurant than usual we'd say "It's ok, we'll pay the difference out of Barb's money". I think we spent Barb's money many times over - and still occasionally use it as an excuse to push the boat out. Barb would have loved this - she was a pub landlady of the old order and very much a 'bon viveur' prone to extravagance. i can't think of any better way to remember her.

    I am much better today, thank you all for your kindness - and plain speaking yesterday
    You're out with a friend in the capital, I'm a thousand leagues under the sea
    You're hovering worriedly over your eggs, And I'm pondering trees
    I'm wandering long, And I'm pondering trees
    For you and me
    Guy Garvey
    • mardatha
    • By mardatha 12th Feb 18, 2:14 PM
    • 14,486 Posts
    • 136,449 Thanks
    mardatha
    We haven't got wills, because we haven't got anything to leave
    all our savings are in cash, a car and a bike. Daughter gets my jewellery. Life is so much simpler when you have less.
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 12th Feb 18, 4:32 PM
    • 3,483 Posts
    • 55,671 Thanks
    silvasava
    Wot - no hidden hoard of Jelly Babies Mar????
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • mardatha
    • By mardatha 12th Feb 18, 5:11 PM
    • 14,486 Posts
    • 136,449 Thanks
    mardatha
    Silvasava you have got to be kidding They have a very short life expectancy up here!
    • nursemaggie
    • By nursemaggie 12th Feb 18, 5:18 PM
    • 1,979 Posts
    • 25,655 Thanks
    nursemaggie
    It's a job to make them last two days here mar.
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 12th Feb 18, 6:30 PM
    • 3,483 Posts
    • 55,671 Thanks
    silvasava
    I do hope you're not turning INTO the elephant Mar
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • mardatha
    • By mardatha 12th Feb 18, 7:07 PM
    • 14,486 Posts
    • 136,449 Thanks
    mardatha
    Noooo, my weight has gone down! Got filled up with steroids in hosp and was scared to weigh meself but yes, lost 1lb
    • fuddle
    • By fuddle 12th Feb 18, 7:42 PM
    • 6,148 Posts
    • 93,551 Thanks
    fuddle
    I'm afraid I post asking for a bit of propping up this evening. Tomorrow I meet with the cardiologist and the day after the thoracic consultant. I feel like my world is about to come tumbling down with the possibility of multiple diagnosis and I'm scared but also, unfortunately, I'm feeling sorry for myself. Yup. I feel like it isn't fair, that I'm too young. My dad went when he was 39. I'm 39 this year.

    What I'm hoping for is some sort of info from you all that diagnosis in 40's etc are quite common, that life definately goes on help my mind set to get back round to 'it's better to know and deal than to not know and exacerbate' which it normally is in but I am in a bit of a lost state of panic this evening.

    I am so sorry to be so needy friends. I like to be the one doing the propping up these days xx
    • Islandmaid
    • By Islandmaid 12th Feb 18, 8:00 PM
    • 2,377 Posts
    • 35,984 Thanks
    Islandmaid
    Fuddle I am afraid I can offer no words of wisdom, or, in fact any knowledge at all of what you are going though.

    All I can offer are heart felt ((Hugs)) and promise that I will be thinking of you and hoping for a positive outcome x
    Note to self - STOP SPENDING MONEY !!


    February GC £250.00/ 358.00
    • babs 103
    • By babs 103 12th Feb 18, 8:11 PM
    • 54 Posts
    • 542 Thanks
    babs 103
    fuddle, my thoughts will be with you tomorrow, my DH had his first triple bypass at age 39, he has now been told he needs a double bypass but at 57 has been told he is too young to have it done. With medication, a fairly good diet (if I can keep him away from the custard tarts!) and gental exercise he is doing well .

    The reason I'm saying this is to show that it is better to know than not, if he hadn't been tested when he was the same age he lost his Father, we would never had known and our life would have been so so different.

    I hope this helps you a little, please forgive me if it dosen't but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you tomorrow. x
    SPC #11 025
    • Floss
    • By Floss 12th Feb 18, 8:23 PM
    • 4,302 Posts
    • 37,303 Thanks
    Floss
    Fuds our generation are benefiting from more knowledge in healthcare, which means living longer and also being diagnosed later. But also, it means you will be in expert hands tomorrow & Wednesday, and you can always voice any concerns you have here with us xx
    • Elona
    • By Elona 12th Feb 18, 8:28 PM
    • 48 Posts
    • 591 Thanks
    Elona
    fuddle

    I don't have experience to offer but would agree better to know then there is a chance for treatment, medication etc to cure or slow down whatever condition comes to light.

    You are a determined and strong person and I will be crossing fingers and toes for you. You can get through this.

    Hugs
    • Hard Up Hester
    • By Hard Up Hester 12th Feb 18, 8:30 PM
    • 3,419 Posts
    • 41,716 Thanks
    Hard Up Hester
    Chin up Fuds, knowledge is power.
    Chin up, Titus out.
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