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  • FIRST POST
    • snickpan
    • By snickpan 15th Jul 17, 10:27 AM
    • 53Posts
    • 8Thanks
    snickpan
    moral question, what to charge girlfriend!
    • #1
    • 15th Jul 17, 10:27 AM
    moral question, what to charge girlfriend! 15th Jul 17 at 10:27 AM
    Well: a lodger in my HMO down the road was paying £500 a month, bills inc. Now she is my girlfriend, thinking of asking her to move in with me...haven't a clue what to charge her, if anything at all!
    I have money in the bank following a house sale, and I take her out for dinner 4 or 5 times a week, and a couple of holidays.
    I'm still a businessman, I still need income from property, I daresay she'd be pleased if I offered her a £300 discount per month. But she'd be more pleased if I waived rent entirely
    Last edited by snickpan; 15-07-2017 at 10:52 AM.
Page 2
    • Knicknack
    • By Knicknack 15th Jul 17, 7:09 PM
    • 28 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Knicknack
    I misread that as "I want to change my girlfriend".

    Or maybe you actually do....
    • Pixie5740
    • By Pixie5740 15th Jul 17, 7:20 PM
    • 11,102 Posts
    • 15,386 Thanks
    Pixie5740
    How can someone be your lodger in a HMO that's down the road from where you, the landlord, actually lives?
    Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds nought and six, result misery.
    • freeman3030
    • By freeman3030 15th Jul 17, 8:11 PM
    • 192 Posts
    • 92 Thanks
    freeman3030
    You seem like a pretty generous person if your taking her out 4-5 times a week. You can clearly comfortably live alone and treat her nicely so why not move her in with you, get someone new into where she used to live to replace the portion of income you used to receive from her and split your bills where you currently reside (except your rent/mortgage). It's a win for you because you've halved your bills, it's a win for her because her outgoings have reduced and youve got someone to share the chores with. Money questions aside, do you think she feels the same and would like to move in with you? I don't know how long you've been seeing one and other, she may not want to give up her own space and likes things the way they are.
    DEBTS:
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    *My partner: £200/£2,000
    • Mickygg
    • By Mickygg 15th Jul 17, 8:37 PM
    • 1,332 Posts
    • 1,050 Thanks
    Mickygg
    OP forget all these people saying 'what a catch' etc.

    Of course she should contribute.

    Why not just ask her? Say you would like her to move in, is it ok to contribute to rent and bills. If she says she wants to move in but not contribute then that says a lot about her but it would be down to you.

    When I moved in with last gf we split everything 50/50. Easy, no bother, we both were happy. For a while anyway.
    • Boler1985
    • By Boler1985 15th Jul 17, 9:39 PM
    • 152 Posts
    • 77 Thanks
    Boler1985
    I wouldn't charge her rent but if I felt that she was continuing to expect me to pay for meals out all the time after her bump in her disposable income I'd be having a word sooner or later.


    What ever you do do not get married unless you want to risk loosing 50% or more of your net worth after 2 years.
    • Geoff1963
    • By Geoff1963 15th Jul 17, 10:24 PM
    • 1,056 Posts
    • 677 Thanks
    Geoff1963
    do not get married unless you want to risk losing 50% or more of your net worth after 2 years
    When a man leaves his house, he kisses his wife goodbye ; when a man leaves his wife, he kisses his house goodbye.
    • goodwithsaving
    • By goodwithsaving 15th Jul 17, 11:23 PM
    • 689 Posts
    • 1,032 Thanks
    goodwithsaving
    When a man leaves his house, he kisses his wife goodbye ; when a man leaves his wife, he kisses his house goodbye.
    Originally posted by Geoff1963
    What a generalisation. I'm female, bought my own house and if I got married, I would equally risk losing my place. It isn't always the man who earns the most you know.

    Anyway, OP, I think it's a fair consideration. If she is living there rent free then expect her to contribute towards bills, additional ctax, food etc and encourage her to put the money she is saving on rent aside for the future.

    Be wary of payments towards the mortgage, transferring money into her account to organise repairs etc, this can all help someone gain a beneficial interest.

    It isn't unromantic to want to protect what is yours. It's realistic. If it goes well then who knows, you may sell and both buy a new place. You never know someone until you live with them.

    Good luck and I hope it goes well.
    Every time you borrow money, you’re robbing your future self. –Nathan W. Morris
    • snickpan
    • By snickpan 16th Jul 17, 1:31 PM
    • 53 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    snickpan
    I asked her last night, delighted to say she said yes!
    She said with the money she saves, she might be able to buy me the occasional drink
    • frugalmacdugal
    • By frugalmacdugal 16th Jul 17, 1:53 PM
    • 6,162 Posts
    • 5,291 Thanks
    frugalmacdugal
    Hi,

    yes, but what was the deal?
    Y'all take care now.
    • nnb
    • By nnb 16th Jul 17, 2:40 PM
    • 43 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    nnb
    I am not a landlord so I am replying as if I was the girlfriend. And these would be the options I would assume were available:

    - We still date but I stay in the other house and pay what I currently pay.
    - We date and I move in with you, I pay the market rate for renting part of your property (so half of bills, plus rent - which happens to be your mortgage). I would not be expecting to own part of the house, it is purely a rental/lodger agreement.

    If I moved in with a boyfriend and he only charged me half of the bills, I would think I've landed on a sweet deal! I'd also worry his family/friends think I am taking advantage (if they find out what our deal is). I would expect to pay more though, as if we were jointly renting somewhere. I certainly don't think you should offer her a better deal on whatever property she lives in, just because she's your girlfriend. As others have said, what you choose to spend on her in your relationship is irrelevant to your question - although it does sound like you spend a lot on her already so in all honesty, I get the feeling she could certainly afford to pay the going rate with what she's saving on the dates! Dating is expensive haha!

    My only concern with you going with the last option (of market rate) would be that if you split up, she may try claiming she owns part of the house or something daft so I would suggest having something written in place that says she is purely renting/lodging - I don't know the legalities of what you could put in place, but I am sure yourself or someone else here knows more so could clarify that a bit more and understand what I am badly trying to explain here
    • older_wiser
    • By older_wiser 16th Jul 17, 2:44 PM
    • 2,165 Posts
    • 3,638 Thanks
    older_wiser
    I had a friend who lived with their partner for 7 years payed everything 50/50 bills and mortgage they even overpaid the mortgage during that time my friend left with nothing when the relationship ended some will say thats how it should be as he was paying rent but his ex partner has payed a substantial amount of their mortgage off during that time.

    My sister on the other hand went into a relationship with a good chunk of cash after afew years living together she payed her partners mortgage off and they bought a second place they did sign a legal document regarding this though she did ask the family for opinions and i said she needed something legally binding in case of different outcomes of the relationship.

    Not the same circumstances that you are going through just be aware of what may or may not happen down the line.
    • older_wiser
    • By older_wiser 16th Jul 17, 2:52 PM
    • 2,165 Posts
    • 3,638 Thanks
    older_wiser
    I am not a landlord so I am replying as if I was the girlfriend. And these would be the options I would assume were available:

    - We still date but I stay in the other house and pay what I currently pay.
    - We date and I move in with you, I pay the market rate for renting part of your property (so half of bills, plus rent - which happens to be your mortgage). I would not be expecting to own part of the house, it is purely a rental/lodger agreement.

    If I moved in with a boyfriend and he only charged me half of the bills, I would think I've landed on a sweet deal! I'd also worry his family/friends think I am taking advantage (if they find out what our deal is). I would expect to pay more though, as if we were jointly renting somewhere. I certainly don't think you should offer her a better deal on whatever property she lives in, just because she's your girlfriend. As others have said, what you choose to spend on her in your relationship is irrelevant to your question - although it does sound like you spend a lot on her already so in all honesty, I get the feeling she could certainly afford to pay the going rate with what she's saving on the dates! Dating is expensive haha!

    My only concern with you going with the last option (of market rate) would be that if you split up, she may try claiming she owns part of the house or something daft so I would suggest having something written in place that says she is purely renting/lodging - I don't know the legalities of what you could put in place, but I am sure yourself or someone else here knows more so could clarify that a bit more and understand what I am badly trying to explain here
    Originally posted by nnb
    I think in the short term thats a sensible idea 50/50 for everything rent bills etc but when it goes to years thats when it becomes more troublesome. If i had been paying half the mortgage for nearly 10 years i would certanily be thinking i had a form of equity in the house perhaps i'm being too financial minded about it though.
    • AlexMac
    • By AlexMac 16th Jul 17, 5:28 PM
    • 1,947 Posts
    • 1,716 Thanks
    AlexMac
    Wow

    ...Just seeing if there was a firm line of answers before I pop the question.
    Originally posted by snickpan
    I hope she doesn't have a dictionary:

    http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/pop-the-question

    Or maybe she does... in which case, congratulations!
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