Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Desperadoo
    • By Desperadoo 13th Jul 17, 6:07 PM
    • 29Posts
    • 55Thanks
    Desperadoo
    on verge of a breakdown
    • #1
    • 13th Jul 17, 6:07 PM
    on verge of a breakdown 13th Jul 17 at 6:07 PM
    Bit of background....my partner and myself owe a lot of money. We are dealing with them separate.as any sort of DMP formal or informal would effect my job . He is going to approach a Debt Charity about his so only my details below.

    Household expenses are my half, car expenses are mine....we have two cars as need them for work, cannot use public transport due to nature of work and distance

    I owe almost £20k and just cannot make payments any more. I have not missed any payments YET but robbing Peter to pay Paul every week. I have applied for a loan of £20k which has been approved " in principle " and paperwork should be with me tomworrow , my monthly payments for it will be £384...apr is i think 15.7% ( high I know ) and term is 7 years

    I just dont know what to do, this is making em so ill. Can anyone see anything I have missed ?

    I know no APR for Cards, dont have info to hand but all are over 20%, no 0% available to move debt around . not sure of details of mortgage either, sorry only half filled in


    Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

    Household Information

    Number of adults in household........... 3
    Number of children in household.........
    Number of cars owned.................... 2 only my car expenses below

    Monthly Income Details

    Monthly income after tax................ 1300 my average as self employed , some months may be slightly more
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0 see above only mine on this SOA
    Benefits................................ 0
    Other income............................ 150 DD housekeeping money
    Total monthly income.................... 1450


    Monthly Expense Details

    Mortgage................................ 282.3 half of mortgage
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 192 Car on PCP
    Rent.................................... 0
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 35.1
    Electricity............................. 35
    Gas..................................... 35
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 0
    Telephone (land line)................... 10
    Mobile phone............................ 45
    TV Licence.............................. 0 hubby pays
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 10
    Internet Services....................... 10
    Groceries etc. ......................... 120 ( 520 total for household )
    Clothing................................ 20
    Petrol/diesel........................... 100
    Road tax................................ 0
    Car Insurance........................... 29.87
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
    Car parking............................. 0
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 15
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 16
    Other insurance......................... 13.66
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 0
    Entertainment........................... 0
    Holiday.................................0
    Emergency fund.......................... 0
    (Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
    hair.................................... 20
    Total monthly expenses.................. 1008.93



    Assets

    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 0
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 0
    Other assets............................ 0
    Total Assets............................ 0



    Secured & HP Debts

    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    Mortgage...................... 0........(282.3)....0
    Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 0........(192)......0
    Total secured & HP debts...... 0.........-.........-


    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    creation.......................3467.7....105...... .0
    creation.......................6440.65...165...... .0
    halifax........................585.......20....... .0
    bank cc .......................500.......20........0
    santander......................1829.36...50....... .0
    mbna...........................1679.7....55....... .0
    mbna...........................1081.96...35....... .0
    mbna...........................1171.93...30....... .0
    mbna...........................2539.11...80....... .0
    Total unsecured debts..........19295.41..560.......-



    Monthly Budget Summary

    Total monthly income.................... 1,450
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,008.93
    Available for debt repayments........... 441.07
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 560
    Amount short for making debt repayments. -168.93


    Personal Balance Sheet Summary
    Total assets (things you own)........... 0
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -19,295.41
    Net Assets.............................. -19,295.41


    Created using the SOA calculator at www.stoozing.com.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.
    Last edited by Desperadoo; 13-07-2017 at 7:14 PM.
Page 1
    • k3lvc
    • By k3lvc 13th Jul 17, 6:15 PM
    • 1,791 Posts
    • 2,787 Thanks
    k3lvc
    • #2
    • 13th Jul 17, 6:15 PM
    • #2
    • 13th Jul 17, 6:15 PM
    Firstly - don't have an immediate breakdown (I've been there/done that and it didn't help)

    I'm sure others will be along to help soon but my initial comments are

    a) If you're in a relationship it's a joint effort so SOA should include all
    b) You say you need car but you can't afford it - over 20% of your income goes on it (and you've got no road tax and little in for MOT/service costs)
    c) how does 1/3 of a grocery bill of £520 become £120
    d) you can't afford a holiday
    e) you've hair twice
    f) you can't afford £45 for a mobile phone

    Al may be harsh but unfortunately true
    • Desperadoo
    • By Desperadoo 13th Jul 17, 7:19 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 55 Thanks
    Desperadoo
    • #3
    • 13th Jul 17, 7:19 PM
    • #3
    • 13th Jul 17, 7:19 PM
    Firstly - don't have an immediate breakdown (I've been there/done that and it didn't help)

    I'm sure others will be along to help soon but my initial comments are

    a) If you're in a relationship it's a joint effort so SOA should include all....
    As explained he will be doing a DMP so thought i would do my own , sorry

    b) You say you need car but you can't afford it - over 20% of your income goes on it (and you've got no road tax and little in for MOT/service costs) tied in as only had ht car a few months, tax £35 per year
    c) how does 1/3 of a grocery bill of £520 become £120 because thats all i can afford :-(
    d) you can't afford a holiday taken out
    e) you've hair twice taken out
    f) you can't afford £45 for a mobile phone tied in for anoother 16 months :-(

    Al may be harsh but unfortunately true
    Originally posted by k3lvc
    thanks for taking the time to reply, i am trying to keep mine separate as hubby will be going for a DMP , I have had a breakdowns twice before so know the signs which is why i am trying to sort this out , or will have nothing to repay anything with
    • determined new ms
    • By determined new ms 13th Jul 17, 7:49 PM
    • 6,337 Posts
    • 35,912 Thanks
    determined new ms
    • #4
    • 13th Jul 17, 7:49 PM
    • #4
    • 13th Jul 17, 7:49 PM
    I would say try not to worry too much. Do one thing each day and things will improve. I am a born worrier and I can drive myself into a real state of stress by obsessing over worries and know this is very unhealthy. I get better by taking time to bring relation and happiness to my life daily as well as dealing with the issues.

    I do think the soa is difficult to fully assess as it isn't full. You have built up a lot of debt over a long period of time (I assume) so even if your bills should be this you are spending more.

    Tomorrow's challenge - I suggest a night off of worrying about this, a bath, film, book, call a friend/family member whatever flats your boat - is to go through bank statements/credit card statements and work out what you are really spending your money on. Keep a spending diary religiously for a month and see where you are frittering away money.

    The next thing I would look at is ways to increase your income

    if you want a quick win you can easily bring down your grocery shopping bill, mobile bill, look at k3lvc's suggestions they are good.

    Hair - when my income decreased I had to give up my expensive hair habit. I went my natural colour (grey specks an all). I couldn't bear to give up my hairdresser, I have curly hair and getting anyone who knows how to cut it well has been a life long challenge. I now get it cut a few times a year. Small changes/compromises
    DF as at 30/12/16
    Wombling '16 £264.46 Roadkill £28.25
    Wombling YTD £2752.51/Roadkill £8.58
    NSDs Aug 3/15 CC saved £1802.50 Veg grown £352.33
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 13th Jul 17, 8:14 PM
    • 4,373 Posts
    • 17,729 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    • #5
    • 13th Jul 17, 8:14 PM
    • #5
    • 13th Jul 17, 8:14 PM
    Groceries at 520 are extortionate! We are a family of 5 with one in nappies and a dog and don't spend half of that. Definitely something you can cut back on.

    Gas and electric looks high. check comparison sites.

    The car is another killer.

    How old is your DD? can she contribute more so the bills are split 3 ways rather than 2?

    Mobile phone I know your in contract but speak to them, see if you can lower the amount, always worth asking them.

    Do you actually have the loan? IF so make sure you pay off every penny of the debt you have now. Cut up the cards, close the accounts! Otherwise you could find yourself back here with a 20k loan and 20k on cards again. Sounds harsh but it happens so often.

    If you do have the loan and you will pay the debt off at least your SOA wont be in a minus. There's obviously bits you can still cut back on too.

    Your SOA doesn't include entertainment, or presents? this isn't realistic either.

    Hope this helps x
    DFW £903.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £376.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £48.65 Cash + £60 Amazon
    • Desperadoo
    • By Desperadoo 13th Jul 17, 9:35 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 55 Thanks
    Desperadoo
    • #6
    • 13th Jul 17, 9:35 PM
    • #6
    • 13th Jul 17, 9:35 PM
    Groceries at 520 are extortionate! We are a family of 5 with one in nappies and a dog and don't spend half of that. Definitely something you can cut back on. this is something we are looking at

    Gas and electric looks high. check comparison sites. where we live only have 2 choices for each but will definelty check this out

    The car is another killer. yes I know

    How old is your DD? can she contribute more so the bills are split 3 ways rather than 2? she's in her 20's and feels she pays enough .

    Mobile phone I know your in contract but speak to them, see if you can lower the amount, always worth asking them.

    Do you actually have the loan? IF so make sure you pay off every penny of the debt you have now. Cut up the cards, close the accounts! Otherwise you could find yourself back here with a 20k loan and 20k on cards again. Sounds harsh but it happens so often. waiting on paperwork for it, IF I take it all cards will be closed. Cards have already been destroyed and to be honest once hubby enters DMP because we have a joint mortgage my credit rating will be destroyed too so won't be able to get any more credit which i am pleased about
    ere to
    If you do have the loan and you will pay the debt off at least your SOA wont be in a minus. There's obviously bits you can still cut back on too. yes thats what i am weighing up

    Your SOA doesn't include entertainment, or presents? this isn't realistic either. yes I know but just don't know what to put in and what not

    Hope this helps x
    Originally posted by Hiddenidenity

    thanks for the reply, i have tried to answer what i can
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 13th Jul 17, 9:43 PM
    • 4,373 Posts
    • 17,729 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    • #7
    • 13th Jul 17, 9:43 PM
    • #7
    • 13th Jul 17, 9:43 PM
    thanks for the reply, i have tried to answer what i can
    Originally posted by Desperadoo
    DD feels she's paying enough?

    She's not a toddler. Show her in black and white what it costs to 'live'

    Show her what her bills would be should she find her own place. I can guarantee she won't find even a house share for that amount. You definitely can't here and I'm up north in a rough area.

    Please don't take this the wrong way. You're her parent, what you say goes!

    Could you speak to the debt charity too? I don't mean take on a DMP as you've said you can't but at least for some advice and someone to talk too? You can't carry the burden all yourself, something has to give before it's your health that does.

    Remember this is the start and the worst it can be. It can only get better from now, you've realised there's a problem and you can and will sort it.
    DFW £903.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £376.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £259.95 + £25 Cash + £65 Amazon
    August 17 PA £98.93 + £48.65 Cash + £60 Amazon
    • Desperadoo
    • By Desperadoo 13th Jul 17, 9:56 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 55 Thanks
    Desperadoo
    • #8
    • 13th Jul 17, 9:56 PM
    • #8
    • 13th Jul 17, 9:56 PM
    DD feels she's paying enough?



    Could you speak to the debt charity too? I don't mean take on a DMP as you've said you can't but at least for some advice and someone to talk too? You can't carry the burden all yourself, something has to give before it's your health that does.

    Remember this is the start and the worst it can be. It can only get better from now, you've realised there's a problem and you can and will sort it.
    Originally posted by Hiddenidenity
    i honestly don't know who to speak to, sitting here in pieces
    • macman
    • By macman 13th Jul 17, 10:10 PM
    • 41,100 Posts
    • 16,850 Thanks
    macman
    • #9
    • 13th Jul 17, 10:10 PM
    • #9
    • 13th Jul 17, 10:10 PM
    A few things stand out to me in your SOA. You cannot possibly only have 2 gas/electricity suppliers: there are at least 40 suppliers on the market. Your figure of £35 for each fuel is also very low.
    Landline phone: £10 doesn't even cover line rental.
    You've put in zero for water bills-how come?
    No buildings or contents insurance? You must have at least the former as a condition of your mortgage. But you have life insurance and another un-named insurance totalling £29.66?
    Car: no road tax?
    Mobile phone: £45 per month over 2 years means a high end handset, iPhone or top range Android. Sell that for maybe £300-£400, buy a cheap Android handset for £60 and the proceeds should pay your current contract for at least 8 months.
    I'm pointing this out not to pick holes in your SOA, but because you can't begin to control your spending unless you know exactly what you are already spending. Good luck.
    Last edited by macman; 13-07-2017 at 10:19 PM.
    No free lunch, and no free laptop
    • Desperadoo
    • By Desperadoo 13th Jul 17, 10:24 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 55 Thanks
    Desperadoo
    A few things stand out to me in your SOA. You cannot possibly only have 2 gas/electricity suppliers: there are at least 40 suppliers on the market. in northern ireland so only have a few suppliersYour figure of £35 for each fuel is also very low. as above this is my half only
    Landline phone: £10 doesn't even cover line rental. nternet /phone/tv is £60 per months so put £30 for my half split between phone/internt/tv
    You've put in zero for water bills-how come? as above n.ireland and we don't pay water
    No buildings or contents insurance? You must have at least the former as a condition of your mortgage. But you have life insurance and another un-named insurance totalling £29.66? the 29.66 is my car and the other insurance is my half of house/contents insurance
    Car: no road tax? £35 per year
    Mobile phone: £45 per month over 2 years means a high end handset, iPhone or top range Android. Sell that for maybe £300-£400, buy a cheap Android handset for £60 and the proceeds should pay your current contract for at least 8 months. will check what its worth but can't see it being that much
    Originally posted by macman

    thanks for reply have tried to answer your questions
    • Alexland
    • By Alexland 13th Jul 17, 10:43 PM
    • 54 Posts
    • 27 Thanks
    Alexland
    Hi

    I really sympathise and hope you find a positive way forward. I agree that if DD is in a position to pay a fair percentage of the utility bills it would be very helpful.

    It's worth checking you are on a competitive mortgage deal. Is there any possibility your credit rating would let you shift the debt onto a zero interest credit card or maybe extend the mortgage value or term?

    On the supermarket could you shift down to own brand, buy wonky veg, avoid ready meals & snacks or give up alcohol etc? How much of this spend is really yours?

    Are you entitled to any tax breaks or have you previously overpaid? Do you have family, friends or a local credit union that might lend at a lower rate?

    Is there anything you can do to boost you family's monthly income? Do you have any assets to sell on eBay? Could you do online surveys, switch banks, etc to earn a bit more? Even low value stuff adds up.

    Hope at least one of those ideas works for you.

    Alex
    • tempus_fugit
    • By tempus_fugit 13th Jul 17, 10:49 PM
    • 154 Posts
    • 194 Thanks
    tempus_fugit
    Mobile phone: £45 per month over 2 years means a high end handset, iPhone or top range Android. Sell that for maybe £300-£400, buy a cheap Android handset for £60 and the proceeds should pay your current contract for at least 8 months. will check what its worth but can't see it being that much
    Originally posted by Desperadoo
    For that price it must be a premium device, most likely an iPhone or a Samsung Galaxy, less than a year old. It would easily be worth what has been suggested if it has been looked after.
    Retired at age 56 after having "light bulb moment" due to reading MSE and it's forums. Have been converted to the "budget to zero" concept and use YNAB for all monthly budgeting and long term goals.
    • theoretica
    • By theoretica 13th Jul 17, 11:29 PM
    • 4,795 Posts
    • 6,023 Thanks
    theoretica
    If you are self employed, but need the car for work, are you accounting for as much as you are permitted to as business expenses and not paying income tax on them?
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 13th Jul 17, 11:48 PM
    • 3,961 Posts
    • 7,112 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Normally I would say do not consolidate as it does not work in the majority of cases. Have you actually tried to move any of the above to 0% cards?

    If you cannot take out any 0% cards and all debts are 20% or above then make sure you close all of the cards/loans so you are not tempted to start spending on them again.
    Countdown to early retirement on 31.12.17 4.5 months to go.
    • macman
    • By macman 14th Jul 17, 12:02 AM
    • 41,100 Posts
    • 16,850 Thanks
    macman
    Thanks for your reply, I hadn't considered the possibility that you were in N. Ireland.
    As above, the handset has to be worth maybe £400 up, since it's going to cost you £1,080 over the minimum term.. At the end of that, switch to a SIM only deal for as little as a £7.50pm.
    No free lunch, and no free laptop
    • gonebust
    • By gonebust 14th Jul 17, 12:03 AM
    • 169 Posts
    • 619 Thanks
    gonebust
    Hey desperado, good to see you back

    Sorry to hear you are still in such a dark place

    Don't take it to heart people's comments on here. They are hard to read when you feel so desperate, but most of the posters here have been there, got the t shirt and have come through the other side

    Yes this being NI, we don't get the deals on energy as the mainland gets. We also don't have the luxury of public transport 24/7/365. So cars are a necessity

    However

    I do think seeing as it's a 3 adult household, your daughter needs to up the ante, esp as I think you said previously she also has a child that lives with you all???

    The car and your phone, you really can't afford either. Is there no way of handing the car back and walking away? If you have it on a PCP, you are forever going to be in debt, forever having monthly payments, never owning a car. As for the phone, sorry but that's wayyyyyyy too much. I have an IPhone, all calls, texts data etc £12 a month. It's just mine is still a 4, not the latest, but it does all I need. Can you not sell yours, pay off the contract and buy a cheap 2nd hand one sim only?


    Groceries are where you can make your biggest savings. You really can get them down to £250 a month easily. Come on over to oldstylers and stick with us to get those bills down. I think I mentioned before to you that I feed three adults for around £35 a week and we eat well, if perhaps a tad boring to some But hey, we are fit , healthy and debt free so it works for us

    Whatever you do, don't fall apart. It's debt, not the end of the world. You need help and support, of which you will get in bucket loads here, but you also need the whole family on board, that includes letting your daughter know what's happening and what you need from her. Seriously I was paying £20 a week housekeep way back in 79/80 and my take home was £42.50 at the time.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 14th Jul 17, 12:07 AM
    • 14,889 Posts
    • 37,181 Thanks
    elsien
    I was paying my mother more than your daughter on a part time wage 20 odd years ago. What proportion of her earnings is she giving you?

    I don't know if there's anything here that might help with your anxiety a little.
    https://www.stepchange.org/partner-spotlight/debt-and-mental-health.aspx

    And if everything is getting really overwhelming you can always ring the Samaritans. They're for anyone having a tough time, regardless of the issue if you just need a non-judgemental ear to let it all out once in a while.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Suseka97
    • By Suseka97 14th Jul 17, 5:47 AM
    • 109 Posts
    • 159 Thanks
    Suseka97
    Hello Desperadoo.

    First and foremost I just want to say join others in support -you are not the first in this sort of situation and you won't be the last. There is always a solution out there and I really think you should talk to one of the debt charities or perhaps the citizens advice bureau. If you don't feel you want to talk to someone, having a look at the NEDCAB site might give you options.

    I know you say that being in a DMP is not for you as it would affect your job - but it is an 'informal' not 'formal' arrangement -and so wouldn't register anywhere. Even if you spoke with StepChange or Payplan (the two free providers) and talked it through you are under no obligation to continue with a DMP and you'll know exactly where you stand.
    LBM Apr13: 14 Creditors / £85k+ owed
    Current Status: 6 Creditors / £11,994
    DFD: Aiming for end of 2018
    Self-managed Aug17: CCAs pending
    • DCFC79
    • By DCFC79 14th Jul 17, 8:49 AM
    • 29,729 Posts
    • 18,825 Thanks
    DCFC79
    Hi

    I really sympathise and hope you find a positive way forward. I agree that if DD is in a position to pay a fair percentage of the utility bills it would be very helpful.

    It's worth checking you are on a competitive mortgage deal. Is there any possibility your credit rating would let you shift the debt onto a zero interest credit card or maybe extend the mortgage value or term?

    On the supermarket could you shift down to own brand, buy wonky veg, avoid ready meals & snacks or give up alcohol etc? How much of this spend is really yours?

    Are you entitled to any tax breaks or have you previously overpaid? Do you have family, friends or a local credit union that might lend at a lower rate?

    Is there anything you can do to boost you family's monthly income? Do you have any assets to sell on eBay? Could you do online surveys, switch banks, etc to earn a bit more? Even low value stuff adds up.

    Hope at least one of those ideas works for you.

    Alex
    Originally posted by Alexland
    Credit rating doesnt let you shift the debt onto a 0% card.
    Last edited by DCFC79; 14-07-2017 at 8:19 PM.
    Je Suis Charlie
    • sourcrates
    • By sourcrates 14th Jul 17, 11:55 AM
    • 11,510 Posts
    • 11,103 Thanks
    sourcrates
    Hi,

    Debt solutions in NI are similar to the rest of the UK.

    Have a look at your options on the NI page of stepchange debt charity :

    https://www.stepchange.org/DebtadviceinNorthernIreland.aspx
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File And Ratings, and
    Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there.
    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, or, CAB.
    For Legal advice see : http://legalbeagles.info/
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

192Posts Today

1,160Users online

Martin's Twitter