Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • birtley90
    • By birtley90 12th Jul 17, 1:25 PM
    • 10Posts
    • 12Thanks
    birtley90
    Teacher told child she could wet herself
    • #1
    • 12th Jul 17, 1:25 PM
    Teacher told child she could wet herself 12th Jul 17 at 1:25 PM
    My daughter year 6 asked the teacher if she could go to the toilet during the afternoon but was refused. She waited a bit and asked again but was told to wait until hometime. My daughter said she couldn't wait that long and the teacher replied with "If you can't wait you will just have to wet yourself"

    Fuming with the teacher!
Page 6
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 13th Jul 17, 10:56 AM
    • 14,482 Posts
    • 14,182 Thanks
    Guest101
    No actually I don't. I honestly do not care if you find it distracting it is your job to be able to deal with that. You are a trained adult who should be able to cope with this situation. They are children.

    My daughter is 11 and will start her periods soon. I would be devastated if she was not able to go to the toilet. - you can always home school

    As I am sure you will be aware for the first few years of starting a period they can be very irregular. Also sometimes very heavy. Sometimes lots of pain. Yes I will help her to be able to accept cope and deal with all of this but to deny the human right of being able to change a sanitary product. ???? - which section of the human rights act is that?


    I am lucky. I have a good job, reasonable standard of living and work long and hard. - good, so would you like your daughters teacher to pop along and tell you how to do that job? I am respected in my field but my body sometimes does things out of schedule. Very annoying but being a human being I accept this. This is life.

    It is not more important that you may be distracted for a milli second than children sit in discomfort for a lesson. How much to you think that they are actually taking in while worrying to hold everything in.

    I want my children to go to a good school where educational excellence is expected. Where they are taught to be respectful, and with our ( parents) help can grow to become amazing wonderful young people. I have two children. One boy 14 one girl 11. I would back them 100% for walking out of the lesson if they had had I mean had to go. - well that's up to you. but you don't set the rules. It's not your school, nor your classroom.

    Please remember that respect is something that is a has to be earned and is very easily lost. - indeed. So why should the teacher respect you? I would hate to think that my two would be taught by someone who is not prepared to treat them with respect. They are young people and you have the honor of helping to make them special. - wow...

    Please do not miss understand me my two are no angels. My son is just about to start his ebach, ( think that is how you spell it ) and my daughter moving to middle school in sept. I do and would continue to full support my children's schools for any lapse of behavior or attitude. But when you need the loo you need the loo. Being forced to give a detailed reason is draconian. - in what way?

    You are a teacher so I will try and be as respectful of the fantastic job that most teachers do but have to say Louise you sound a little power crazed???
    Originally posted by BJV
    No, just a teacher who is in control of her classroom...
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 13th Jul 17, 11:06 AM
    • 14,482 Posts
    • 14,182 Thanks
    Guest101
    No actually I don't. I honestly do not care if you find it distracting it is your job to be able to deal with that. You are a trained adult who should be able to cope with this situation. They are children.



    There was no period in this case but there might of been?
    Originally posted by BJV


    There was no assault, but what if there had been?
    There was no drugs, but what if there had been?
    There was no issue, but what if there had been?


    Well if there had been, we'd be having a different conversation
    • birtley90
    • By birtley90 13th Jul 17, 11:19 AM
    • 10 Posts
    • 12 Thanks
    birtley90
    I am sorry but as a teacher I don't believe the teacher made that comment. With regards to going to the toilet she should have gone at lunch. As a year 4 teacher I don't allow toilet breaks in lesson time.
    Originally posted by louiseturner
    Its all good and well saying she should have gone at lunch. She probably didn't need a wee at lunch. If a child is desperate louiseturner do you still refuse,sounds barbaric to me
    • DUTR
    • By DUTR 13th Jul 17, 11:21 AM
    • 10,829 Posts
    • 6,135 Thanks
    DUTR
    Groundhog day on the thread and debate!
    • jondav
    • By jondav 13th Jul 17, 11:35 AM
    • 602 Posts
    • 432 Thanks
    jondav
    No actually I don't. I honestly do not care if you find it distracting it is your job to be able to deal with that. You are a trained adult who should be able to cope with this situation. They are children.

    My daughter is 11 and will start her periods soon. I would be devastated if she was not able to go to the toilet.

    As I am sure you will be aware for the first few years of starting a period they can be very irregular. Also sometimes very heavy. Sometimes lots of pain. Yes I will help her to be able to accept cope and deal with all of this but to deny the human right of being able to change a sanitary product. ????


    I am lucky. I have a good job, reasonable standard of living and work long and hard. I am respected in my field but my body sometimes does things out of schedule. Very annoying but being a human being I accept this. This is life.

    It is not more important that you may be distracted for a milli second than children sit in discomfort for a lesson. How much to you think that they are actually taking in while worrying to hold everything in.

    I want my children to go to a good school where educational excellence is expected. Where they are taught to be respectful, and with our ( parents) help can grow to become amazing wonderful young people. I have two children. One boy 14 one girl 11. I would back them 100% for walking out of the lesson if they had had I mean had to go.

    Please remember that respect is something that is a has to be earned and is very easily lost. I would hate to think that my two would be taught by someone who is not prepared to treat them with respect. They are young people and you have the honor of helping to make them special.

    Please do not miss understand me my two are no angels. My son is just about to start his ebach, ( think that is how you spell it ) and my daughter moving to middle school in sept. I do and would continue to full support my children's schools for any lapse of behavior or attitude. But when you need the loo you need the loo. Being forced to give a detailed reason is draconian.

    You are a teacher so I will try and be as respectful of the fantastic job that most teachers do but have to say Louise you sound a little power crazed???

    I once remember standing in a chemistry lesson with Mr Stewart who looked like a frog and when he would not let me go the to toilet I had to scream it was because I was leaking blood everywhere. Not nice to have a class of 15 year old's staring at you laughing. It must have affected me because I still remember how humiliated I felt even now over twenty years later.

    There was no period in this case but there might of been?
    Originally posted by BJV
    • jondav
    • By jondav 13th Jul 17, 11:40 AM
    • 602 Posts
    • 432 Thanks
    jondav
    Its all good and well saying she should have gone at lunch. She probably didn't need a wee at lunch. If a child is desperate louiseturner do you still refuse,sounds barbaric to me
    Originally posted by birtley90
    And if the child was younger I would completely agree, but we are talking about an eleven year old here.....soon to go to secondary school.....it is completely different.

    At 11 years old, she knows (or should know) that if she has classes all afternoon, she should try for the loo during break time whether she needs it or not!

    Do you want here to be treated like a baby for the rest of her life?
    • pollyanna24
    • By pollyanna24 13th Jul 17, 11:43 AM
    • 3,645 Posts
    • 4,319 Thanks
    pollyanna24
    Why would it be any more embarrassing? Are you suggesting a male teacher wouldn't understand the issue? Seems a bit sexist....
    Originally posted by Guest101
    I was referring to the fact that an 11 year old girl might find it more embarrassing if she had to mention it to a male teacher. Not that the male teacher would be embarrassed about it.

    That might make it sexist, but it is what it is. An 11 year old girl is more like to want to talk to a woman about it, although I would imagine she wouldn't want to have to explain it at all!
    Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
    House Worth (approx) - £400,000
    Mortgages (2nd July 2017) - £183,377.40
    Equity - £216,522.60
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 13th Jul 17, 12:00 PM
    • 14,482 Posts
    • 14,182 Thanks
    Guest101
    I was referring to the fact that an 11 year old girl might find it more embarrassing if she had to mention it to a male teacher. Not that the male teacher would be embarrassed about it.

    That might make it sexist, but it is what it is. An 11 year old girl is more like to want to talk to a woman about it, although I would imagine she wouldn't want to have to explain it at all!
    Originally posted by pollyanna24
    So its ok to be sexist, because it is what it is? Strange
    • pollyanna24
    • By pollyanna24 13th Jul 17, 12:33 PM
    • 3,645 Posts
    • 4,319 Thanks
    pollyanna24
    So its ok to be sexist, because it is what it is? Strange
    Originally posted by Guest101
    But it is. I can't make pre-teen girls or teenage girls be less embarrassed about talking to a male teacher by telling them they are being sexist.

    Same as it is most likely easier for a pre-teen boy / teenage boy to speak to a male teacher about things in certain areas.

    If that's sexist, then so be it.
    Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
    House Worth (approx) - £400,000
    Mortgages (2nd July 2017) - £183,377.40
    Equity - £216,522.60
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 13th Jul 17, 12:54 PM
    • 14,482 Posts
    • 14,182 Thanks
    Guest101
    But it is. I can't make pre-teen girls or teenage girls be less embarrassed about talking to a male teacher by telling them they are being sexist.

    Same as it is most likely easier for a pre-teen boy / teenage boy to speak to a male teacher about things in certain areas.

    If that's sexist, then so be it.
    Originally posted by pollyanna24
    The point being you should be telling your child that the gender of the teacher isn't relevant and that they are professionals who have dealt with this kind of thing before. Not making excuses and enabling sexist behaviour
    • Mrs_Ryan
    • By Mrs_Ryan 13th Jul 17, 1:01 PM
    • 10,158 Posts
    • 18,219 Thanks
    Mrs_Ryan
    Not surprised he was furious, I would be too. I am sorry but unless they have a medical note then I don't let them out, and even then they still have to ask
    Originally posted by louiseturner
    At Both schools I went to a parental note overruled anything the teachers could do. I had a parental note, therefore I was allowed out. Btw this man was strange. He objected to the girls who had started their periods, and therefore developed breasts etc, being allowed out of class to change for PE and believed we should have no excuse to leave class! He had taught my sister previously and my dad hated him. However another girl's parent, who happened to be a governor, was also unhappy with his conduct so the head had to compromise.
    Very proud to be Open University BA (Hons) English Lang and Lit- New 2:1 Graduate! :❤️ MA English begins 09/17
    WFC and happy sponsor for Season 2! 🐝
    Will always miss you Elle and will never forget you, brightest star in the sky 😢
    • BJV
    • By BJV 13th Jul 17, 1:14 PM
    • 2,231 Posts
    • 3,349 Thanks
    BJV
    No, just a teacher who is in control of her classroom...
    Originally posted by Guest101
    I would not home school as I am not qualified have not studied how to impart knowledge. You, I take it have? I have a good standard of education and worked hard in my chosen field.

    I would hate to think that the day would come where I could not improve. Have nothing more to learn. Perhaps you do?

    Looking at your answers it seems to be that the teacher should have complete control of his/her class room what ever the rules she/ he sets. No matter what???? MMMM not speak until spoken to. How very Victorian? Gosh next we will be sending the little blighters now the mine. Or perhaps whipping out the cane to ensure complete subservience.

    I would expect my children's teachers to respect me as I respect them and treat them as such. I would expect that as school is a partnership where school and home have to work together to get the best for our young people we would respect each others roles.

    If you are teacher then I am disappointed at your comment ref it is your honor to teach? I think teachers are the most important things in a school. A good teacher has the training, ability, authority and respect to be able to teach. To make a boring subject engaging. A bad teacher and I have had one or two I remember to this day can do the exact opposite.

    It must be an amazing feeling to be able to do that. Knowledge is power and teachers are helping to shape the next generation.

    How sad that if you are a teacher you so not see it that way.

    Notice that you did not comment about a 15 year old me being humiliated so much so that I still remember today. Oh well not to worry it was all worth while if the teacher kept control of their class room! It was not worth it for me!
    Happiness, Health and Wealth in that order please!
    • BJV
    • By BJV 13th Jul 17, 1:23 PM
    • 2,231 Posts
    • 3,349 Thanks
    BJV
    I was referring to the fact that an 11 year old girl might find it more embarrassing if she had to mention it to a male teacher. Not that the male teacher would be embarrassed about it.

    That might make it sexist, but it is what it is. An 11 year old girl is more like to want to talk to a woman about it, although I would imagine she wouldn't want to have to explain it at all!
    Originally posted by pollyanna24
    Could not agree more .

    My 11 year old would not want to talk to a male teacher. Not that she thinks that he would be embarrassed but she would.

    My 14 year old son would equally find it embarrassing talking to a female teacher about an erection. Not sexism reality.

    Funny I wondered when the sexism point would be raised.

    " if you are loosing an argument pull out the ism??? "
    Sexism, Racism, Ageism you name it. People are so frightened to be called an ism and honestly I am none that shy away.

    How sad !!!!!

    Strange I have just had to have some very personal medical tests the doctor and the hospital both times we proud to tell me that it would be done by female and lady doctors.

    For safeguarding issues when children are a certain age in a charity I volunteered with, only same sex where allowed in changing rooms. This is because the young people who went said they felt less self conscious. MMM they must be sexist.

    God are they sexist too!!! Who knew the NHS and now the educational systems where so sexist.
    Last edited by BJV; 13-07-2017 at 1:40 PM.
    Happiness, Health and Wealth in that order please!
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 13th Jul 17, 1:29 PM
    • 14,482 Posts
    • 14,182 Thanks
    Guest101
    I would not home school as I am not qualified have not studied how to impart knowledge. - but you're qualified to tell a teacher how to teach? You, I take it have? I have a good standard of education and worked hard in my chosen field. - Ditto, which is why when the professionals make a rule and explain the logic, I accept their experience and expertise. I try to avoid telling a surgeon how to carry out a heart bypass, a pilot how to land a plane or a plumber how to fix my drains.

    I would hate to think that the day would come where I could not improve. Have nothing more to learn. Perhaps you do? - more to learn, ofcourse. But my point, as above still stands. I would equally not expect the teacher to tell me how to do my job.

    Looking at your answers it seems to be that the teacher should have complete control of his/her class room what ever the rules she/ he sets. No matter what???? - No. You're doing a typical thing and expanding a concise position. There is a rule, it is common and it should be followed. The rule is reasonable and not detrimental. MMMM not speak until spoken to. - Either quote me saying that or apologise. How very Victorian? Gosh next we will be sending the little blighters now the mine. Or perhaps whipping out the cane to ensure complete subservience. - Or setting reasonable expectation of standards and behaviour to avoid a repeat of the current generation, many of whom are unable to cope with the pressures of everyday life.

    I would expect my children's teachers to respect me - why? anyone can give birth as I respect them and treat them as such - but if you did you would respect their decision. I would expect that as school is a partnership - it's not where school and home have to work together to get the best for our young people we would respect each others roles. - indeed, so you ensure your kids get enough sleep, eat healthy and do their homework, and when it comes to school, you step aside. Unless you'd like the teacher telling you how to parent?

    If you are teacher then I am disappointed at your comment ref it is your honor to teach? - i'm not. and I haven't claimed to be. I think teachers are the most important things in a school. A good teacher has the training, ability, authority and respect to be able to teach. To make a boring subject engaging. A bad teacher and I have had one or two I remember to this day can do the exact opposite. - So you're calling the teacher a bad teacher or?

    It must be an amazing feeling to be able to do that. Knowledge is power and teachers are helping to shape the next generation. - often their having to control what is otherwise a rabble of ill-mannered, self-centred, spoilt brats. Because little Johnny is just 'expressing himself'...

    How sad that if you are a teacher you so not see it that way. - I have the utmost respect for teachers, and if my children ever complained about such a thing, I'd ensure that the next few weeks were used to remind them of the need to use the toilet when appropriate.

    Notice that you did not comment about a 15 year old me being humiliated so much so that I still remember today. Oh well not to worry it was all worth while if the teacher kept control of their class room! It was not worth it for me!
    Originally posted by BJV
    I didn't comment because that's your personal experience. The fact that you did not get over it is not my business; nor is it relevant to the OP, because again I'm having to point out that there was no issue of periods in the OP.


    It's no different to any other what if scenario.
    • BJV
    • By BJV 13th Jul 17, 1:42 PM
    • 2,231 Posts
    • 3,349 Thanks
    BJV
    And if the child was younger I would completely agree, but we are talking about an eleven year old here.....soon to go to secondary school.....it is completely different.

    At 11 years old, she knows (or should know) that if she has classes all afternoon, she should try for the loo during break time whether she needs it or not!

    Do you want here to be treated like a baby for the rest of her life?
    Originally posted by jondav
    And whipped with a big stick if she or he needs one during lesson times. Problem solved
    Happiness, Health and Wealth in that order please!
    • BJV
    • By BJV 13th Jul 17, 1:53 PM
    • 2,231 Posts
    • 3,349 Thanks
    BJV
    I didn't comment because that's your personal experience. The fact that you did not get over it is not my business; nor is it relevant to the OP, because again I'm having to point out that there was no issue of periods in the OP.


    It's no different to any other what if scenario.
    Originally posted by Guest101
    Ok. There are rules and they should be flexible as we are dealing with people, human beings and we are all different.

    Perhaps I am lucky but my children's local school advocate that education is a partnership. They want to be part of our community and they are. They are also very strict. Dress and behavior codes etc.

    I do respect my children's teachers but if I disagree I will tell them. Privately not in public. Just like for ooh example when my daughter and her friends came home from school in tears because of the amount of pressure that the school was putting her under for the recent year 6 tests. Mass's of children going off sick, teachers screaming that they where all about to fail. Shouting that they would be letting the school down, disappointing their parents. ???? Really. ????

    I am proud of my two and want them to reach their full potential no matter what that is.

    I spoke to the teacher and she apologized. She spoke to the head teacher. They sent a letter home in fact to all parents. They said that the school is under a lot of pressure and that it had filtered down.

    The point I make is that Teachers too are human they make good choices and bad. They make mistakes. They have good days and bad and can also feel pressure ? No one is perfect not me not you.
    Last edited by BJV; 13-07-2017 at 1:55 PM.
    Happiness, Health and Wealth in that order please!
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 13th Jul 17, 2:02 PM
    • 14,482 Posts
    • 14,182 Thanks
    Guest101
    Ok. There are rules and they should be flexible as we are dealing with people, human beings and we are all different. - rules typically only apply to human beings....

    Perhaps I am lucky but my children's local school advocate that education is a partnership. They want to be part of our community and they are. They are also very strict. Dress and behavior codes etc. - so you would be happy for a teacher to comment on your parenting?

    I do respect my children's teachers but if I disagree I will tell them. Privately not in public. Just like for ooh example when my daughter and her friends came home from school in tears because of the amount of pressure that the school was putting her under for the recent year 6 tests. Mass's of children going off sick, teachers screaming that they where all about to fail. Shouting that they would be letting the school down, disappointing their parents. ???? Really. ???? - I suspect that is only partially true. Did you ask the teacher what happened?

    I am proud of my two and want them to reach their full potential no matter what that is.

    I spoke to the teacher and she apologized. She spoke to the head teacher. They sent a letter home in fact to all parents. They said that the school is under a lot of pressure and that it had filtered down. - because students were failing?

    The point I make is that Teachers too are human they make good choices and bad. They make mistakes. They have good days and bad and can also feel pressure ? No one is perfect not me not you.
    Originally posted by BJV
    Absolutely, which is why we have policies and rules, so everyone knows where they stand...
    • Dutsey
    • By Dutsey 13th Jul 17, 2:23 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    Dutsey
    What the hell am I reading here? my 9 year old and 7 year old have to wait until break time to go to the loo, so an 11 year old should be able to.

    Sounds like parent has no respect for the teacher / rules.
    • jondav
    • By jondav 13th Jul 17, 3:07 PM
    • 602 Posts
    • 432 Thanks
    jondav
    And whipped with a big stick if she or he needs one during lesson times. Problem solved
    Originally posted by BJV
    Oh grow up for goodness sake, you are supposed to be the adult.
    • BJV
    • By BJV 13th Jul 17, 3:13 PM
    • 2,231 Posts
    • 3,349 Thanks
    BJV
    Absolutely, which is why we have policies and rules, so everyone knows where they stand...
    Originally posted by Guest101
    Originally Posted by BJV View Post
    Ok. There are rules and they should be flexible as we are dealing with people, human beings and we are all different. - rules typically only apply to human beings.... Not be be pedantic but no they don't rules can apply to lots of different things. From building control to gravity. There are rules.

    Perhaps I am lucky but my children's local school advocate that education is a partnership. They want to be part of our community and they are. They are also very strict. Dress and behavior codes etc. - so you would be happy for a teacher to comment on your parenting? - It is not correct that teachers are trained to look out for signs of bad parenting. Don't they work with social workers already.?

    I do respect my children's teachers but if I disagree I will tell them. Privately not in public. Just like for ooh example when my daughter and her friends came home from school in tears because of the amount of pressure that the school was putting her under for the recent year 6 tests. Mass's of children going off sick, teachers screaming that they where all about to fail. Shouting that they would be letting the school down, disappointing their parents. ???? Really. ???? - I suspect that is only partially true. Did you ask the teacher what happened? Yes I did at parents evening. Her bottom lip got very wobbly and she said she was sorry and that she had been under a lot of pressure. It happens we all make mistakes. She had the grace and the nerve to to say sorry. If i had never made a mistake? We all make them. All good now.

    I am proud of my two and want them to reach their full potential no matter what that is.

    I spoke to the teacher and she apologized. She spoke to the head teacher. They sent a letter home in fact to all parents. They said that the school is under a lot of pressure and that it had filtered down. - because students were failing? TBH I don't think so. The school has excellent results and outstanding reputation within the area. But teachers are now under so much pressure to ensure that the results are among the best in the area. It has to come out somewhere??? I actually felt so sorry for her. She is a good teacher, nice person and made a mistake and had the good grace to admit it.

    The point I make is that Teachers too are human they make good choices and bad. They make mistakes. They have good days and bad and can also feel pressure ? No one is perfect not me not you.

    I think ultimately we will never agree and that is ok. You are entitled to your view as I am mine. You will raise your children as you believe to be the best way and I mine.
    Last edited by BJV; 13-07-2017 at 3:18 PM.
    Happiness, Health and Wealth in that order please!
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

3,679Posts Today

8,107Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Byebye! I'm about to stop work & twitter, to instead spend glorious time with Mrs & mini MSE. Wishing u a lovely summer. See u in 10 days.

  • WARNING Did you start Uni in or after 2012? The interest's rising to 6.1%; yet it doesnt work like you think. See https://t.co/IQ8f0Vyetu RT

  • RT @JanaBeee: @MartinSLewis Boris is the anomaly (coffee), the others are versions of normal (beer). Lots of same candidates = vote share d?

  • Follow Martin