Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • WaltonVale
    • By WaltonVale 11th Jul 17, 11:02 PM
    • 33Posts
    • 9Thanks
    WaltonVale
    Separating with husband, need advice
    • #1
    • 11th Jul 17, 11:02 PM
    Separating with husband, need advice 11th Jul 17 at 11:02 PM
    Hi folks,


    I am hoping I can get some advice from people on here as I have spent hours in the net and still don't know what I am doing.


    Essentially I am separating from my husband (aged 64). I am the breadwinner, he is unable to work and has not worked for years due to health issues. He has not claimed any benefits for the past 3 years as my earnings has been too high to claim anything.


    I am leaving and the 2 children (3&9) will be staying in the marital home (rented HA if that makes a difference) with him. I am going to rent a house close by.


    Obviously I will be paying CM and currently I receive the CB which I will transfer to him. I have found a property and will being moving into it at the start of August.


    We have no savings at all. We live in a Universal Credit area.
    Is there anything he can do between now and the start of August to get a benefit claim underway? I understand that it takes 6 weeks for it to be processed and then it is not back dated.


    Can anyone offer any advice?
    Thanks for reading - The Waltons
Page 1
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 12th Jul 17, 4:56 AM
    • 848 Posts
    • 882 Thanks
    NeilCr
    • #2
    • 12th Jul 17, 4:56 AM
    • #2
    • 12th Jul 17, 4:56 AM
    Has he considered a claim for PIP

    https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/pip/

    He'll need to get this going as he can't claim it once he is 65 (He can claim Attendance Allowance then but that does not have a mobility component). Otherwise he needs to get in touch with your local authority re Housing Benefit and Council Tax Support to ask about the claim process

    What about Child Tax Credits?

    https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/help-if-on-a-low-income/working-and-child-tax-credits/working-and-child-tax-credits/check-if-you-can-get-child-tax-credits/

    He also needs to check if he is in a Universal Credit area

    https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/before-you-apply/Check-if-youre-eligible-for-Universal-Credit/

    If he is he will claim that instead of Housing Benefit and Tax Credits. Council Tax Support is still administered by the local authority
    Last edited by NeilCr; 12-07-2017 at 5:04 AM.
    • karcher
    • By karcher 12th Jul 17, 5:20 AM
    • 1,072 Posts
    • 9,020 Thanks
    karcher
    • #3
    • 12th Jul 17, 5:20 AM
    • #3
    • 12th Jul 17, 5:20 AM
    Won't he be eligible for his state pension soon?

    A friend of mine who is 66 already gets his.
    • GwylimT
    • By GwylimT 12th Jul 17, 7:09 AM
    • 5,730 Posts
    • 10,670 Thanks
    GwylimT
    • #4
    • 12th Jul 17, 7:09 AM
    • #4
    • 12th Jul 17, 7:09 AM
    Has he thought about applying for PIP? Why didn't he do this before?

    Once a UC claim has been awarded the nine year old may be entitled to free school meals, please get him to sign up as the child gets more than just free meals.

    Obviously single person council tax discount.

    If you haven't already, you need to make school aware so they can support the little ones, you will also need to ensure dad is the number one contact once you have moved out incase of sickness etc.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 12th Jul 17, 7:22 AM
    • 16,964 Posts
    • 42,740 Thanks
    Pollycat
    • #5
    • 12th Jul 17, 7:22 AM
    • #5
    • 12th Jul 17, 7:22 AM
    Won't he be eligible for his state pension soon?

    A friend of mine who is 66 already gets his.
    Originally posted by karcher
    He'll be eligible for his state pension when he's 65.
    At his current age, he's eligible to apply for Pension Credit but I'm not sure how that sits with other benefits he may be able to claim.

    Maybe a face-to-face session with CAB would be helpful?
    • sangie595
    • By sangie595 12th Jul 17, 9:38 AM
    • 3,319 Posts
    • 5,493 Thanks
    sangie595
    • #6
    • 12th Jul 17, 9:38 AM
    • #6
    • 12th Jul 17, 9:38 AM
    Unlike others here I'm not au fait with benefits, but you did ask for "any advice".... Where my skill lies is looking at what the "other side" think! I am seriously not saying this is the case - looking at your posting history there's no evidence to suggest it is true. But benefits agencies specialise in suspicion...

    Be very, very careful about how you conduct your lifestyle after separating because this could be construed as a method of falsely claiming benefits. Whilst, since you are the wage earner, it may make sense to leave the children with the stay at home partner, I would expect them to be very suspicious of a mother leaving her children behind, especially when one of those is only three years old. And then moving into rented accommodation in the vicinity of the martial home...a "front" to make it look like you have separated when, in fact, you will be carrying on as usual but with two addresses! I would not be at all surprised if you were to find yourselves under a lot of scrutiny - scrutiny you may not even be aware of. And not just immediately - but also in the longer term. Benefits agencies are not above any form of tactic to prove that you are not really seperated - they can watch bank accounts, employ surveillance etc. And just because you are telling the truth doesn't mean that they can't make a case that you aren't!
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 12th Jul 17, 11:21 AM
    • 4,551 Posts
    • 9,163 Thanks
    marliepanda
    • #7
    • 12th Jul 17, 11:21 AM
    • #7
    • 12th Jul 17, 11:21 AM
    In a sort of addition to Sangie's post, if he is unable to work, in ill health and 64, will he cope with being the main carer to a three year old, plus another primary school aged child?

    His mental and physical health issues seem extensive and coupled with his older age (no offence to any!) I can't see how that will work...
    Last edited by marliepanda; 12-07-2017 at 11:25 AM.
    Survey Earnings 2017 - £163
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 12th Jul 17, 11:57 AM
    • 16,964 Posts
    • 42,740 Thanks
    Pollycat
    • #8
    • 12th Jul 17, 11:57 AM
    • #8
    • 12th Jul 17, 11:57 AM
    In a sort of addition to Sangie's post, if he is unable to work, in ill health and 64, will he cope with being the main carer to a three year old, plus another primary school aged child?

    His mental and physical health issues seem extensive and coupled with his older age (no offence to any!) I can't see how that will work...
    Originally posted by marliepanda
    I'm coming up to that age in a few months but luckily am in pretty good health and I wouldn't like to think I'd got responsibility for a 3 year old and a 9 year old.
    • Cheeky_Monkey
    • By Cheeky_Monkey 12th Jul 17, 3:16 PM
    • 1,172 Posts
    • 2,197 Thanks
    Cheeky_Monkey
    • #9
    • 12th Jul 17, 3:16 PM
    • #9
    • 12th Jul 17, 3:16 PM
    As the OP's husband has already been accused of benefit fraud in the past, I imagine that as soon as he starts claiming benefits again, that little nugget of information will be flagged up and they will be immediately suspicious as the circumstances are similar.
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 12th Jul 17, 3:26 PM
    • 4,551 Posts
    • 9,163 Thanks
    marliepanda
    As the OP's husband has already been accused of benefit fraud in the past, I imagine that as soon as he starts claiming benefits again, that little nugget of information will be flagged up and they will be immediately suspicious as the circumstances are similar.
    Originally posted by Cheeky_Monkey
    Being married for years whilst living apart and claiming benefits, including going bankrupt after the marriage...

    Him being too disabled and ill to live with after marriage but now, 11 years older, he is capable of caring for a three year old and nine year old?

    The OP appears to be genuine and not one of our tall tale regulars, but there are a lot of things which make very little sense.
    Survey Earnings 2017 - £163
    • Placitasgirl
    • By Placitasgirl 12th Jul 17, 3:43 PM
    • 193 Posts
    • 338 Thanks
    Placitasgirl
    I wonder if it might be possible that the OP is seeking a "clean break" to permit them to move on in life in a new relationship?

    I agree that leaving a 3 year old and 9 year old in the primary care of her 64 year old husband, who suffers ill health and is unable to work as a consequence isn't something any mother would do lightly, and without passing judgement, this (or benefit fraud) is the only reason I can see for leaving your spouse and children to start again nearby.
    • antrobus
    • By antrobus 12th Jul 17, 5:19 PM
    • 14,890 Posts
    • 21,091 Thanks
    antrobus
    .. We live in a Universal Credit area.
    Is there anything he can do between now and the start of August to get a benefit claim underway? I understand that it takes 6 weeks for it to be processed and then it is not back dated. ...
    Originally posted by WaltonVale
    It is apparently the case that it usually takes 5 or 6 weeks to get your first Universal Credit payment. But your entitlement begins from the date of your claim. Back dating only applies to the period before you made the claim.

    See here.
    https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/before-you-apply/how-universal-credit-is-paid/
    • antrobus
    • By antrobus 12th Jul 17, 5:22 PM
    • 14,890 Posts
    • 21,091 Thanks
    antrobus
    People seems to be jumping to all sorts of conclusions here. The OP simply stated that her 64 year old husband is "unable to work and has not worked for years due to health issues". I'm not sure why people think this means that he has extensive mental and physical health issues or that he is disabled. For one thing, being too ill to work is not the same as being disabled. A lot of disabled people work, a lot of sick people aren't disabled. Without more information regarding these health issues we simply don't know.

    P.S. There is obviously an age difference. The OP gave birth to a child three years ago, so she is at least ten years younger than her husband, probably more like twenty years. I might speculate that this is why they have decided to separate, but I don't think speculation is helpful.
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 12th Jul 17, 5:36 PM
    • 4,551 Posts
    • 9,163 Thanks
    marliepanda
    People seems to be jumping to all sorts of conclusions here. The OP simply stated that her 64 year old husband is "unable to work and has not worked for years due to health issues". I'm not sure why people think this means that he has extensive mental and physical health issues or that he is disabled. For one thing, being too ill to work is not the same as being disabled. A lot of disabled people work, a lot of sick people aren't disabled. Without more information regarding these health issues we simply don't know.

    P.S. There is obviously an age difference. The OP gave birth to a child three years ago, so she is at least ten years younger than her husband, probably more like twenty years. I might speculate that this is why they have decided to separate, but I don't think speculation is helpful.
    Originally posted by antrobus
    Old posts suggest he has been sectioned and the OP felt unable
    To live with him for two years after marriage due to his health conditions.

    Read some old posts. They mention the extensive mental and physical disabilities. I didn't make them up
    Survey Earnings 2017 - £163
    • Cheeky_Monkey
    • By Cheeky_Monkey 12th Jul 17, 5:43 PM
    • 1,172 Posts
    • 2,197 Thanks
    Cheeky_Monkey
    Having read the previous thread from February 2013, I seriously question why on earth a mother would leave her young children in the care of someone who is so obviously not fit to look after them.
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 12th Jul 17, 7:32 PM
    • 848 Posts
    • 882 Thanks
    NeilCr
    I think, sometimes, it's best to take a post on face value. Nit picking over what they may have said in the past isn't hugely productive.

    I tend to take the view that I hope any advice/information/guidance I give to someone may help, a bit. Beyond that it may be of assistance to other posters/viewers who may be in a similar situation.

    Unfortunately, posters of the ilk of Rockingbilly suck the life blood out of forums like this and stop people posting. No idea whether this is intentional or not or just attention seeking. While I know from my own experience that moderating isn't easy a quicker harder line on serial trolls would be good
    • antrobus
    • By antrobus 12th Jul 17, 7:38 PM
    • 14,890 Posts
    • 21,091 Thanks
    antrobus
    Old posts suggest he has been sectioned and the OP felt unable
    To live with him for two years after marriage due to his health conditions.

    Read some old posts. They mention the extensive mental and physical disabilities. I didn't make them up
    Originally posted by marliepanda
    Fair enough. I stand corrected.

    Perhaps a reference to the old posts might have helped though.
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 12th Jul 17, 7:38 PM
    • 4,551 Posts
    • 9,163 Thanks
    marliepanda
    I think, sometimes, it's best to take a post on face value. Nit picking over what they may have said in the past isn't hugely productive.

    I tend to take the view that I hope any advice/information/guidance I give to someone may help, a bit. Beyond that it may be of assistance to other posters/viewers who may be in a similar situation.

    Unfortunately, posters of the ilk of Rockingbilly suck the life blood out of forums like this and stop people posting. No idea whether this is intentional or not or just attention seeking. While I know from my own experience that moderating isn't easy a quicker harder line on serial trolls would be good
    Originally posted by NeilCr
    Well judging on the actual post leaves us with a 3 year old being left with, frankly, someone who should be her grandad at that age, not her father. It's not usual. Plus add to the age factor the fact he is unable to work which implies an element of lack of capability.

    Add to that a 9 yr old that has to be up and out to school 5 days a week, along with a 3 year old in tow. Anyone would find that tough. A 64 year old would find that tough. A 64 year old unable to work through ill health would find that tough.

    That's the face of it. The rest of the posts simply embellish that, rather than contradict. It makes you wonder why the children are actually being left...
    Survey Earnings 2017 - £163
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 12th Jul 17, 7:56 PM
    • 848 Posts
    • 882 Thanks
    NeilCr
    Well judging on the actual post leaves us with a 3 year old being left with, frankly, someone who should be her grandad at that age, not her father. It's not usual. Plus add to the age factor the fact he is unable to work which implies an element of lack of capability.

    Add to that a 9 yr old that has to be up and out to school 5 days a week, along with a 3 year old in tow. Anyone would find that tough. A 64 year old would find that tough. A 64 year old unable to work through ill health would find that tough.

    That's the face of it. The rest of the posts simply embellish that, rather than contradict. It makes you wonder why the children are actually being left...
    Originally posted by marliepanda
    Makes my point

    Nice lot of assumptions there.
    • Geoff1963
    • By Geoff1963 12th Jul 17, 8:15 PM
    • 566 Posts
    • 344 Thanks
    Geoff1963
    I'm guessing the OP is leaving, in order to start a new relationship ; else there isn't much point. The extra benefits would surely not maintain a second property.

    If so, it might be useful to keep mentioning that to anyone who might be interested, in order to minimise any suspicions towards the husband.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

2,245Posts Today

8,306Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Byebye! I'm about to stop work & twitter, to instead spend glorious time with Mrs & mini MSE. Wishing u a lovely summer. See u in 10 days.

  • WARNING Did you start Uni in or after 2012? The interest's rising to 6.1%; yet it doesnt work like you think. See https://t.co/IQ8f0Vyetu RT

  • RT @JanaBeee: @MartinSLewis Boris is the anomaly (coffee), the others are versions of normal (beer). Lots of same candidates = vote share d?

  • Follow Martin