Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • SUPERSTARDJ01
    • By SUPERSTARDJ01 10th Jul 17, 6:26 PM
    • 3Posts
    • 2Thanks
    SUPERSTARDJ01
    How easy is it to adopt 17yr old stepdaughter?
    • #1
    • 10th Jul 17, 6:26 PM
    How easy is it to adopt 17yr old stepdaughter? 10th Jul 17 at 6:26 PM
    Hi all,

    I would like to adopt my stepdaughter, ive been the father shes lnown crom age 1, her biological father has stated he wamts nothing to do with her, but as shes over 16 do we have to go through social services?

    Any other advise would be much appreciated.

    Thank you
Page 1
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 10th Jul 17, 6:29 PM
    • 14,477 Posts
    • 14,158 Thanks
    Guest101
    • #2
    • 10th Jul 17, 6:29 PM
    • #2
    • 10th Jul 17, 6:29 PM
    I believe you would need his consent to get PR, which in essence the same thing.

    Formal adoption, requires an
    Assessment - https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adopting-a-stepchild
    • SUPERSTARDJ01
    • By SUPERSTARDJ01 10th Jul 17, 6:40 PM
    • 3 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    SUPERSTARDJ01
    • #3
    • 10th Jul 17, 6:40 PM
    • #3
    • 10th Jul 17, 6:40 PM
    Not possible, no one knows where he is not even his mother.
    • Silvertabby
    • By Silvertabby 10th Jul 17, 7:13 PM
    • 1,258 Posts
    • 1,463 Thanks
    Silvertabby
    • #4
    • 10th Jul 17, 7:13 PM
    • #4
    • 10th Jul 17, 7:13 PM
    Once she is 18, she can 'adopt' you by changing her surname to yours by deed poll.
    • avogadro
    • By avogadro 10th Jul 17, 8:07 PM
    • 3,002 Posts
    • 4,915 Thanks
    avogadro
    • #5
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:07 PM
    • #5
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:07 PM
    You would need to start the process asap, because once she's 18 she is legally an adult and AFAIK you can't adopt an adult.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 10th Jul 17, 8:24 PM
    • 27,810 Posts
    • 70,644 Thanks
    Mojisola
    • #6
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:24 PM
    • #6
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:24 PM
    I would like to adopt my stepdaughter, ive been the father shes lnown crom age 1, her biological father has stated he wamts nothing to do with her, but as shes over 16 do we have to go through social services?

    Any other advise would be much appreciated.
    Originally posted by SUPERSTARDJ01
    If you think of her as your daughter and want her to inherit from you, you will have to name her specifically in your will (until/unless you manage to adopt her).

    As a step-child, she has no automatic rights of inheritance under intestacy and, if your will just says "my child/ren", that won't include her.
    • Robisere
    • By Robisere 10th Jul 17, 8:50 PM
    • 1,570 Posts
    • 2,316 Thanks
    Robisere
    • #7
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:50 PM
    • #7
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:50 PM
    I named my step son and daughter in my will, and the solicitor added a statement at my request that I will not recognise any other children as my descendants, for inheritance purposes. There is a reason for that, however I respect that they kept their own decision of family name: ds has kept his biological father's name, ds has changed her family name to her grandfather's name. They both call me dad and I have raised them as dad, I don't have a problem with family names.

    Their grandparents and biological father passed away.
    There may be more than one way to skin a cat.
    But the result is always inedible.

    • Geoff1963
    • By Geoff1963 10th Jul 17, 9:55 PM
    • 586 Posts
    • 370 Thanks
    Geoff1963
    • #8
    • 10th Jul 17, 9:55 PM
    • #8
    • 10th Jul 17, 9:55 PM
    I don't have a problem with family names.
    Daughters lose the family name naturally when they get married, quite right to not be bothered.
    • LilElvis
    • By LilElvis 10th Jul 17, 10:07 PM
    • 3,034 Posts
    • 8,334 Thanks
    LilElvis
    • #9
    • 10th Jul 17, 10:07 PM
    • #9
    • 10th Jul 17, 10:07 PM
    Daughters lose the family name naturally when they get married, quite right to not be bothered.
    Originally posted by Geoff1963
    Really? I've been married for 11 years and still have the surname I was born with. It's my name - why would marrying someone change that. Some women choose to use their husband's surname after marriage, but its just that - a choice - not something you have to do.
    • krlyr
    • By krlyr 10th Jul 17, 10:40 PM
    • 5,749 Posts
    • 11,857 Thanks
    krlyr
    Any particular reason on the adopting? I consider my stepdad to be more of a father to me than my biological dad (infact, I even called him Dad once, it just came out!) but I don't feel the need for a piece of paperwork to say so. I know it's personal, but might be worth looking at what you're aiming to achieve and if adoption is necessarily the way to do that.
    • theoretica
    • By theoretica 10th Jul 17, 11:02 PM
    • 4,774 Posts
    • 6,002 Thanks
    theoretica
    Does she want to be adopted by you?
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
    • PeacefulWaters
    • By PeacefulWaters 11th Jul 17, 11:44 AM
    • 6,579 Posts
    • 8,069 Thanks
    PeacefulWaters
    My stepdaughter chose to take my surname. I never adopted her - it would have caused too many other problems. She is named in my will.

    Not possible, no one knows where he is not even his mother
    Then there's no point adopting.

    There are simple words you can use to express your feelings without the need for paperwork.
    • Ronaldo Mconaldo
    • By Ronaldo Mconaldo 11th Jul 17, 3:34 PM
    • 4,890 Posts
    • 5,006 Thanks
    Ronaldo Mconaldo
    If you've known her since she was 1 then why has it taken you this long to get around to it. Juat forget about it, obviosuly some people like to make a song and dance out of everything but just forget about it.
    • Geoff1963
    • By Geoff1963 12th Jul 17, 10:12 PM
    • 586 Posts
    • 370 Thanks
    Geoff1963
    I think it's from the film Coward of the County based on Kenny Rogers' song of the same name :
    A boy loses his father, so is looked after by his uncle for many years. They have their ups and downs, and at the end of the film, the man says, "I'm sorry, I haven't been a very good uncle".
    "No, you haven't", agrees the boy, then adds, "but you've been a wonderful father".
    • SUPERSTARDJ01
    • By SUPERSTARDJ01 12th Jul 17, 10:16 PM
    • 3 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    SUPERSTARDJ01
    The reason is a personal one and has no bearing on my question, shes actually the one thats aked and yes she calls me dad.
    • Geoff1963
    • By Geoff1963 12th Jul 17, 10:17 PM
    • 586 Posts
    • 370 Thanks
    Geoff1963
    Daughters lose the family name naturally when they get married
    No offence intended to those who don't ; I only meant that most do, and their parents aren't bothered.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

3,779Posts Today

8,193Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Byebye! I'm about to stop work & twitter, to instead spend glorious time with Mrs & mini MSE. Wishing u a lovely summer. See u in 10 days.

  • WARNING Did you start Uni in or after 2012? The interest's rising to 6.1%; yet it doesnt work like you think. See https://t.co/IQ8f0Vyetu RT

  • RT @JanaBeee: @MartinSLewis Boris is the anomaly (coffee), the others are versions of normal (beer). Lots of same candidates = vote share d?

  • Follow Martin