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  • FIRST POST
    • linclass
    • By linclass 10th Jul 17, 5:46 PM
    • 186Posts
    • 74Thanks
    linclass
    Ex Wife trying yet again to bleed him dry. URGENT
    • #1
    • 10th Jul 17, 5:46 PM
    Ex Wife trying yet again to bleed him dry. URGENT 10th Jul 17 at 5:46 PM
    Hello all,
    I'm sorry to have this as an 'urgent' thread, but it's appeared as the proverbial bolt out of the blue.

    My partner's ex wife won virtually everything from my partner when she divorced him 2 years ago. Half his pension, the house and ALL it's value, and contents. He left the marriage with nothing.

    Now - she's VERY money oriented, down to the last 51p, which was the monthly increase to her half of his pension earlier this year - she sent a recorded letter demanding her share. At the end of May this year, my partner received a letter from an organisation (cannot remember the name) informing him he had a very small pension pot, total value £500. The Divorce paperwork stated that it would be a clean break, and that she would have no further monetary claims on him in future.

    She has now approached him, accusing him of hiding this pension. Well, he HASN'T tried hiding anything, because he wasn't aware of it until the letter arrived in May informing him!

    She only contacts him through his son via facebook. At the end of the communication, she confirmed her Solicitor advised her to contact him, and if my partner ignores her message, she will go back to the Solicitor and he will take the matter to court.

    My question is this. SHOULD he ignore her? WILL the matter return to court? He DID NOT hide anything, as I've said. And the whole amount is ONLY £500!!

    What should he do please?

    Thanks very much.
Page 1
    • DUTR
    • By DUTR 10th Jul 17, 5:52 PM
    • 10,890 Posts
    • 6,205 Thanks
    DUTR
    • #2
    • 10th Jul 17, 5:52 PM
    • #2
    • 10th Jul 17, 5:52 PM
    A deal is a deal.
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 10th Jul 17, 5:55 PM
    • 1,183 Posts
    • 1,210 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    • #3
    • 10th Jul 17, 5:55 PM
    • #3
    • 10th Jul 17, 5:55 PM
    If this were me I'd send her £250 and enter into no further communication. She probably likes to annoy you both ( which seems to be working). Sending her the money - preferably in a nice card wishing her well (yes passive aggressive!) is probably not what she really wants. What she probably wants is a fight and to wind you up, so beat her to it and show you are not bothered.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 10th Jul 17, 5:55 PM
    • 15,075 Posts
    • 37,744 Thanks
    elsien
    • #4
    • 10th Jul 17, 5:55 PM
    • #4
    • 10th Jul 17, 5:55 PM
    The solicitor will say in any letter whatever she instructs them to say, whether it's likely to happen or not and she probably could take him to court if she was so inclined. Whether she would win is an entirely different question.
    Can he get half an hour free legal advice to find out a little more about his options? Possibly from a different solicitor to the one who appears to have had the wife walk away with more than the husband in the previous financial settlement.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • linclass
    • By linclass 10th Jul 17, 6:02 PM
    • 186 Posts
    • 74 Thanks
    linclass
    • #5
    • 10th Jul 17, 6:02 PM
    • #5
    • 10th Jul 17, 6:02 PM
    Lovely! Thanks for these answers. Think the best to do next, is the half hour free session with a Solicitor. We don't have huge funds (he left with NOTHING remember - not even his power tools!! She sold them...) The only question is, whether she's ENTITLED to the £250. As I said, he didn't hide anything, it was a surprise when he got the letter.
    • avogadro
    • By avogadro 10th Jul 17, 6:32 PM
    • 3,335 Posts
    • 5,689 Thanks
    avogadro
    • #6
    • 10th Jul 17, 6:32 PM
    • #6
    • 10th Jul 17, 6:32 PM
    There is a board on here for Pensions, Annuities, etc. It might be worth asking on there
    • emmatthews
    • By emmatthews 10th Jul 17, 8:38 PM
    • 649 Posts
    • 1,259 Thanks
    emmatthews
    • #7
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:38 PM
    • #7
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:38 PM
    How did she even find out about it?
    • linclass
    • By linclass 10th Jul 17, 8:42 PM
    • 186 Posts
    • 74 Thanks
    linclass
    • #8
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:42 PM
    • #8
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:42 PM
    How did she even find out about it?
    Originally posted by emmatthews
    We 'suspect' it's one of the siblings wife - but of course cannot be certain. It's such a piffling amount but, believe me, when my partner received the recorded letter demanding half of the yearly wage rise (51p per month) we just rolled about laughing. That letter cost more than 51p !!!
    • LilElvis
    • By LilElvis 10th Jul 17, 8:52 PM
    • 3,090 Posts
    • 8,590 Thanks
    LilElvis
    • #9
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:52 PM
    • #9
    • 10th Jul 17, 8:52 PM
    Be prepared for more letters from the ex as she will now be suspicious that as he forgot to declare one marital asset that there might be other money he has conveniently forgotten to declare.
    • linclass
    • By linclass 10th Jul 17, 9:01 PM
    • 186 Posts
    • 74 Thanks
    linclass
    Be prepared for more letters from the ex as she will now be suspicious that as he forgot to declare one marital asset that there might be other money he has conveniently forgotten to declare.
    Originally posted by LilElvis
    But he didn't KNOW about this pension before this company - Just found the letter, from B&CE benefit scheme informing him of it in June! They divorced in 2015. Believe me - SHE was the handler of EVERYTHING financial. She knew to the last penny how much was in their joint (and only) bank account.
    • LilElvis
    • By LilElvis 10th Jul 17, 9:49 PM
    • 3,090 Posts
    • 8,590 Thanks
    LilElvis
    But he didn't KNOW about this pension before this company - Just found the letter, from B&CE benefit scheme informing him of it in June! They divorced in 2015. Believe me - SHE was the handler of EVERYTHING financial. She knew to the last penny how much was in their joint (and only) bank account.
    Originally posted by linclass
    That's not what she's going to believe. All she knows is that she has heard about some money which should have been declared during the divorce, but wasnt, and will wonder what else has been withheld.
    • karcher
    • By karcher 10th Jul 17, 10:02 PM
    • 1,274 Posts
    • 10,684 Thanks
    karcher
    All I can think is that she must be a very sad/heartbroken, bitter/vindictive woman to insist on her half of the 51p per month...

    She maybe has her reasons, we don't know.

    You have 2 options:

    1. pay up the £250 and wish her well spending it.

    2. Ignore and let her become even more bitter/sad chasing the final drop in the ocean as far as the divorce settlement is concerned.

    Depends entirely on the circumstances surrounding the divorce, which we are not privy to, as to which avenue I would suggest.
    • POPPYOSCAR
    • By POPPYOSCAR 10th Jul 17, 10:12 PM
    • 10,533 Posts
    • 21,781 Thanks
    POPPYOSCAR
    Ignore her.

    It will cost her more in solicitor fees than she will get.
    • Caroline_a
    • By Caroline_a 11th Jul 17, 9:21 AM
    • 3,867 Posts
    • 10,649 Thanks
    Caroline_a
    Salutary lesson I think. Any monetary discussions keep to yourselves in future!
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 11th Jul 17, 9:36 AM
    • 17,671 Posts
    • 44,981 Thanks
    Pollycat
    All I can think is that she must be a very sad/heartbroken, bitter/vindictive woman to insist on her half of the 51p per month...

    She maybe has her reasons, we don't know.

    You have 2 options:

    1. pay up the £250 and wish her well spending it.

    2. Ignore and let her become even more bitter/sad chasing the final drop in the ocean as far as the divorce settlement is concerned.

    Depends entirely on the circumstances surrounding the divorce, which we are not privy to, as to which avenue I would suggest.
    Originally posted by karcher
    I'm not 'up' on divorce but it sounds odd (and a little unfair) for the wife to get virtually everything - half his pension, the house and ALL its value and contents.

    My friend's ex left her for another woman - my friend had 2 kids of school age.
    She did get half his pensions (from the date of the start of the relationship) but he forced the sale of the house and I believe the split was 60/40 to her.
    She was a stay-at-home Mum with a 5 hour a week job.

    I agree the ex sounds particularly vindictive and petty - and in the same position I'd probably let her have the £250. Doing so without any argument would probably be exactly what she doesn't want.
    • meer53
    • By meer53 11th Jul 17, 10:02 AM
    • 8,839 Posts
    • 12,820 Thanks
    meer53
    That's not what she's going to believe. All she knows is that she has heard about some money which should have been declared during the divorce, but wasnt, and will wonder what else has been withheld.
    Originally posted by LilElvis
    I agree with this. You say your partner left with nothing, well that would have been his fault really, he would have agreed to the terms of the divorce at the time, he was pretty silly really to agree to it if it left him with nothing at all. Your partner should speak to a solicitor regarding the forgotten pension, ignoring her isn't going to work as she knows about it now.

    I wouldn't take her side but i feel that if she thinks he's hidden this then there could be something else he's "forgotten" to tell her about.
    • linclass
    • By linclass 11th Jul 17, 11:08 AM
    • 186 Posts
    • 74 Thanks
    linclass
    I agree with this. You say your partner left with nothing, well that would have been his fault really, he would have agreed to the terms of the divorce at the time, he was pretty silly really to agree to it if it left him with nothing at all. Your partner should speak to a solicitor regarding the forgotten pension, ignoring her isn't going to work as she knows about it now.

    I wouldn't take her side but i feel that if she thinks he's hidden this then there could be something else he's "forgotten" to tell her about.
    Originally posted by meer53
    The reason he left with nothing was, and many Fathers would feel the same, was to ensure his children - that you don't stop loving when divorcing - had a secure roof over their heads. My partner will be seeing a Solicitor just for guidance. As stated earlier, the Ex fully controlled everything financial. He wasn't at the job for long, and really didn't know about this pension until the letter from that company arrived.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 11th Jul 17, 11:15 AM
    • 28,247 Posts
    • 71,863 Thanks
    Mojisola
    The reason he left with nothing was, and many Fathers would feel the same, was to ensure his children had a secure roof over their heads.
    Originally posted by linclass
    That's normally covered by the ex and the children being allowed to stay in the house until the youngest child reaches 18 or finishes uni after which the house is sold and the money shared between the parents.
    • linclass
    • By linclass 11th Jul 17, 11:18 AM
    • 186 Posts
    • 74 Thanks
    linclass
    That's normally covered by the ex and the children being allowed to stay in the house until the youngest child reaches 18 or finishes uni after which the house is sold and the money shared between the parents.
    Originally posted by Mojisola
    Yeppppppp,
    • kazwookie
    • By kazwookie 11th Jul 17, 11:21 AM
    • 9,270 Posts
    • 117,721 Thanks
    kazwookie
    I strongly suggest your partner STOPs discussing any thing money relate with any one except you, and you keep fully stum.
    Sun, Sea
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