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  • FIRST POST
    • mothernerd
    • By mothernerd 28th Jun 17, 10:56 PM
    • 2,156Posts
    • 22,081Thanks
    mothernerd
    NST Joyful July
    • #1
    • 28th Jun 17, 10:56 PM
    NST Joyful July 28th Jun 17 at 10:56 PM
    Ninja Saving Turtles

    We are now half way through the year and how are we doing with our annual goals?


    Congratulations to those on target with debt busting / diet and exercise and any other goals. Keep it going remembering to revise your target if your current stepping stone is getting too comfy.


    For those who have drifted from their path (hangs head in shame) there are still six months of the year left. You have time to wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start. Be honest about why things have not worked out. Were your original goals too tough? Did things go to pot when everyday pressures kicked in? Did you have a beautiful plan with all the details worked out but then failed to apply them (me again)? Remember Hope is not a strategy.


    If you are reeling from the blows that life has dealt you (hugs, more hugs and a sympathetic ear) just hang in there turtles. Revise your goals or write an emergency strategy if needed, do what you can – you will still get there, but for now you have to use the B roads not the motorway.


    The turtle gang are all here to help, advise, celebrate with you, commiserate with you, hand out tissues and hugs as required. We even do lycra clad cheerleaders with pompoms.


    So if you are a regular contender (turtle life can be tough and demanding), a recent convert or just finding your way and trying turtledom for the first time, welcome to


    JOYFUL JULY


    JOY Life has been hard recently. I have always found joy in the little things. Some of us find 3 things to be grateful for at the end of each day and you may find it useful too – you can add it to your daily post or just write it down privately. Some days are full of good things, some days are dreadful but if you think carefully you can pick out moments of joy – a ladybird, a child's glasses case in the shape of a shoe, a smile or thank you from a stranger.


    Try to wake joyfully too. It can help to write your 'to do' list (and make other preparations) the night before, so that you have a clear idea of your coming day. If possible take a few moments of peace and calm and take that forward into your joyful day. Make joyful memories with your children during the holidays and share any free/ low cost fun ideas.


    ORGANISE You should know your Debt Free Date or if debt free your savings goal (mortgage free plan/ early retirement goal). If you don't know, work it out or if it is too daunting or too far in the future, set a target for this year. Work out how much you need to put aside to achieve this and live on what is left over. Sort your budgets for the month before July 1st (if possible).


    YOU It starts from here, it starts with YOU, it starts with now.
    I'm sorry but you are it. We may wish we had more money, a better job, weren't in this mess, more abc, less xyz. This is where you are. If you don't like it, change it. You can keep wishing or you can plan, decide what you want to do, set goals, break them down into small steps and start. Every small step helps even when you can't see the bigger picture.


    Know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses.


    If life has steam rollered over your plans, write new ones. Is it just temporary (hold your nerve, do what you can, resign yourself to being in a holding pattern until the crisis is over) or longer term (take a deep breath, eat from the cupboards, check through your annual budget).


    FRUGAL The Frugalwoods are having another Uber Frugal Month Challenge
    http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/06/19/the-uber-frugal-month-challenge-is-back-july-2017-edition/ . I haven't read a lot of their stuff (some is location specific) but this is a sort of 'how low could you go', cut out absolutely everything you possibly could. I might be signing up and thought it might help some of you facing a difficult month. It won't be for everyone but it might be good to spend some time considering just what you could do without 'if you had to'. I will probably use some of it for daily inspiration.


    USE what you have. Start by auditing the cupboards, fridge and freezer. Make meal plan based on these. Cook from scratch. After sorting out your big bills, the food budget is often the area where you can make great savings.


    LOOK after you. If you are it, it all depends on you, so look after yourself (especially if no-one else is likely to). Make time for a little pampering or just sit and reflect. Mental and physical wellbeing is important.



    JULY Challenge runs from 1st to 31st July.



    UNLESS you have a specific reason (special celebration, no/ least harmful alternative) you should avoid takeaways, restaurants, vending machines, costalot outlets. Take lunch to work (hospital appointments etc) every day. Some turtles have the occasional spend built into their personal/ social spending budget.

    LITTLE and OFTEN is the key for those who are poorly, new to exercise or who have fallen by the wayside. Start with 10 minutes a day, five times a week, rising to 20 minutes in the second week. More if you are young and healthy. Those of you with a well established training routine carry on - you know your needs/capabilities better than I.


    YOU will aim for 16 NO Spend Days unless you set a much lower total last month, in which case try for 2 above last month's target. Medical necessities, ys bargains (no other purchases) and filling your car with petrol from a designated petrol budget are exempt (you still keep your NSD). Super organised turtles who never exceed their budget or buy anything on impulse do not count NSDs as they have other ways of controlling their spending.

    Daily Posting is reccommended – keep reading if you can't post. If it all goes wrong, confess or ask for help/ sympathy. Turtles who are on holiday should adjust targets accordingly (posting/ NSDs/ separate holiday budget etc).


    Who is up to the turtle challenge?



    Last edited by mothernerd; 29-06-2017 at 12:02 AM.
    Building a rainbow of happiness and joy
    NST Nov #9 SFD 7/20 Food £91.50/£100 Travel £2.50/£10 DIY £/£30Debt free and EF January 2016 No mortgage Progress through plodding, baby steps and purposeful pottering
Page 14
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 14th Jul 17, 10:15 AM
    • 629 Posts
    • 8,921 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    I'm afraid my determination not to let things get me down has disappeared. C has been having problems since his brother died some years ago in very tragic circumstances and drinks far too much. Most of the time he is the lovliest, kindest and most generous person you could wish to meet but on occasion he gets very down (especially since the death of his sister last year) and just seems to lash out verbally at the world. To cut a long story short he was very nasty to our friends (actually they are his oldest friends) on Wednesday night and they left to go home yesterday, a day earlier than planned. It was really upsetting and they have said they will not be coming on holiday with us in September. I think I cried all day yesterday. I am at a loss on what to do. In fact, I don't think I can do anything. He'll have to want to do it himself.
    Anyway, I'll keep on reading all your adventures and post again when I feel more like myself.
    • thriftylass
    • By thriftylass 14th Jul 17, 10:58 AM
    • 3,093 Posts
    • 25,585 Thanks
    thriftylass
    Oh, Toni's friend sending you bigs hugs.
    NST Nov 6
    SFD 3/20 spends 401/625 (98/200 xmas)
    Exercise 5/20
    Debt - all 0% 1000 to go from 5290 (80% paid off)
    DFD 2/2018 Mortgage 109343 (04/17) 16 years left
    • thriftylass
    • By thriftylass 14th Jul 17, 11:01 AM
    • 3,093 Posts
    • 25,585 Thanks
    thriftylass
    Frugalwood's email just came in time. Was about to make excuses that I don't even have time for a short run today. So off I'll be in 5.

    A good question was "What’s actually preventing you from taking that next step in your frugality?" My answer would be DH and having to find compromises

    EDIT
    Well gym didn't happen after all as I forgot my gym leggins and now there isn't enough time to trapes back. I think I must be behind on FW emails (on number 12) as I only signed up late.
    Last edited by thriftylass; 14-07-2017 at 11:34 AM.
    NST Nov 6
    SFD 3/20 spends 401/625 (98/200 xmas)
    Exercise 5/20
    Debt - all 0% 1000 to go from 5290 (80% paid off)
    DFD 2/2018 Mortgage 109343 (04/17) 16 years left
    • Jo Blogs
    • By Jo Blogs 14th Jul 17, 11:18 AM
    • 751 Posts
    • 2,594 Thanks
    Jo Blogs
    Good morning everyone

    Super posts and NSDs - I really do love this thread

    Well another NSD yesterday, and today will also be another NSD, so really pleased with that

    Loving the Frugalwood's e-mails and just to say, I gave up on 'product' years ago. I decided I looked better without it and so did the bank balance . Looking forward to reading today's inspiring e-mail later

    Wishing you all a super day!
    Saved Nitty Gritty £7440.75 [149%] / £5000-[Sep] £58.44 for the 'Save 12k in 2017' #157
    2017 Womble #35 £3463.27 Sept NSDs 4/15CCCChl 9/12 months
    Sept PPChl#002 Pts 71
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 14th Jul 17, 3:47 PM
    • 1,037 Posts
    • 7,622 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    NSD #4 achieved!!
    40 lengths in the pool and 60 minutes in the gym - I have lost a stone since Easter. Keeping on keeping on. Might have a 6 pack by Xmas.

    Day 1 of the hostage situation (summer holidays - nobody wants to leave the house and they think I am 'a nuisance' by suggesting we go out somewhere)
    MFW May 16 £118,340
    October 17 - £109,495.00
    • thriftylass
    • By thriftylass 14th Jul 17, 3:59 PM
    • 3,093 Posts
    • 25,585 Thanks
    thriftylass
    40 lengths in the pool
    Originally posted by f0xh0les
    Well done on your gyming and the weight loss. Just out of interest how long do 40 lengths take you?
    NST Nov 6
    SFD 3/20 spends 401/625 (98/200 xmas)
    Exercise 5/20
    Debt - all 0% 1000 to go from 5290 (80% paid off)
    DFD 2/2018 Mortgage 109343 (04/17) 16 years left
    • apple muncher
    • By apple muncher 14th Jul 17, 7:51 PM
    • 6,536 Posts
    • 47,820 Thanks
    apple muncher
    Today I am grateful for getting specific jobs done at work, for a wonderful chat with one of the office staff, for Wynton Marsalis' rendition of a concerto in bflat minor (or something like that!), for a great fabric haul in the charity shops, for the volunteers in charity shops, for doing shred #11 even though I didn't want to, for dd's glasses being ready to collect tomorrow, for our supply of old pillows/cushions that provide stuffing material, for dh feeling less overwhelmed with all he has to do, for 85% chocolate.
    NST November #; NSD 10/17; Ex 9/12; craft 19/30 (247); remove 601
    2017 MFW#63 Pay off: £3484/£4050; 2
    017 sell 174

    Mortgage £23,486 (01/14: £78,201; 01/15: £59,629; 01/16: 39,915; 01/17: 27,295) MFWDate Dec 2018
    • SkintTeacher
    • By SkintTeacher 14th Jul 17, 9:10 PM
    • 326 Posts
    • 1,881 Thanks
    SkintTeacher
    thanks Mothernerd

    Had a fab first day of hols with my boys
    • swimminginaseaofdebt
    • By swimminginaseaofdebt 14th Jul 17, 9:55 PM
    • 602 Posts
    • 3,232 Thanks
    swimminginaseaofdebt
    Toni'sfriend - hope you feel more like yourself soon

    A quick summary of my last few days before I forget what I have been up to:
    • Have 12 NSDs - Today was a NSD taking me up to 3. Must try harder on this.
    • Take part in the £10 a day challenge – target is £155 - Now up to £74.01. Was falling behind on this originally though I think I'll manage to catch up now
    • Walk wherever I am going whenever possible - Walked back home from baby sensory class yesterday.
    • Start de-cluttering and organising my flat rather than just saying I’m going to do it! - have returned a few more books back to the library otherwise the de-cluttering is slow going. The little one's books are lying all over the floor at the moment but I popped into poundstretcher the other day and they had some nice storage things so I'm planning to head back and get one for his books.

    Have a great week everyone!
    SPC11 #564
    • misstara
    • By misstara 14th Jul 17, 11:15 PM
    • 2,456 Posts
    • 17,125 Thanks
    misstara
    Sending hugs Toni's friend.

    Wednesday and yesterday were NSDs so now up to 6/16. Did the weekly shop today.

    Today I'm grateful for a good run this morning, getting 3 loads of washing done, line dried and ironed, a sparkly clean flat, yummy salad for tea using lettuce from the garden and hm scones.
    Debt at LBM Jan 2014 £10458.09 Now £0
    New flat debt Jan 2017 £2302.75 Now £1349.50 (41.4% paid)
    Mini Targets
    Exercise target - Run 3/8, Gym 0/4. Groceries target £106.86/£150. NSD target 11/18.
    • Jo Blogs
    • By Jo Blogs 15th Jul 17, 7:03 AM
    • 751 Posts
    • 2,594 Thanks
    Jo Blogs
    Good morning everyone

    Hugs to Toni's friend.

    Great going with all the posts and NSDs

    Today will be another NSD and Exercise day- I'm having a NSD weekend. Still not inspired to do any shopping, so will leave until Tuesday . I'm more than happy to simply make do with what's in the cupboards and freezer

    Loved the frugalwood's e-mails yesterday - empowering yourself and luxaries - always great food for thought and yes, you'd be surprised what you can actually do when you put your mind to it , and the need for those so called 'luxries' that are so easily taken for granted because they simply become common place - I love it! - The commercial 'Merry-go-round'

    Wishing you all a fantastic NSDay!
    Saved Nitty Gritty £7440.75 [149%] / £5000-[Sep] £58.44 for the 'Save 12k in 2017' #157
    2017 Womble #35 £3463.27 Sept NSDs 4/15CCCChl 9/12 months
    Sept PPChl#002 Pts 71
    • mothernerd
    • By mothernerd 15th Jul 17, 8:02 AM
    • 2,156 Posts
    • 22,081 Thanks
    mothernerd
    Joyful July Day Fifteen
    Go confidently, in the direction of your dreams. Live the life that you have imagined. Henry David Thoreau.Hugs for Thrifty, Toni'sfriend and anyone else who wants one. I intend making a longish reply (sound of thread breaking under the weight) or perhaps a series of shorter 'observations' on Thrifty's on depression and 'old age' (or no longer as young as we were). Gosh, now I am making it souns ominous. I will ahve more time this afternoon and it' something that deserves careful consideration.

    Depression doesn't have to be Depressing. ?

    Don't Worry, Be Happy.
    Building a rainbow of happiness and joy
    NST Nov #9 SFD 7/20 Food £91.50/£100 Travel £2.50/£10 DIY £/£30Debt free and EF January 2016 No mortgage Progress through plodding, baby steps and purposeful pottering
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 15th Jul 17, 8:31 AM
    • 4,083 Posts
    • 22,498 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    OOh its been nearly a week - I blame the Frugalwoods email which I read in the evening, then I read her recommended reading and then I check the Facebook page and read all that and that's an hour or so gone!!!

    Managed 4 NSD's this week taking me to 6 so far.
    Restricting my diet due to my visit to the natural allergy therapist means that I cant just buy chocolate and crisps on a whim anymore as I cant have them so apart from fruit (which I bring from home) I am not eating much else so no need to pop in to any shops.

    Yesterday was a spend day as needed dog doo bags so stocked up on those, also got some canes for the garden as all mine are in use and I have more plants that need them.

    Today will be a spend day as need potatoes for sunday lunch and will also get packed lunch stuff for son again rather than spending tomorrow. Daughter also off on activities with school next week so needs a packed lunch.

    Hope you all have a fab weekend.

    I am grateful for my lifestyle, mainly centred on my animals today:
    1. The pigs have settled in well and are getting used to us, they should come when we call by next week and then hopefully we can stroke them.
    2. Our turkeys have gone up to the field (in a large enclosure) and they just love the grass and being outside (they have been in an old cat run near our house while they grew a bit)
    3. One of my geese has managed to hatch 2 goslings. I went up there this morning and there they were!! Fingers crossed they do ok - they should do as they have a mum and 6 bodyguards (plus 15 others to watch over them from a distance). Need to find something to put water in for them to swim (our big geese have those green kids sand pits filled with water but they are far too big for the goslings)
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 15 for November
    NSD - 1/15
    (up to 01/11/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • lcc86
    • By lcc86 15th Jul 17, 9:54 AM
    • 903 Posts
    • 2,380 Thanks
    lcc86
    Eagerelephant I love the sound of all your animals, it's right up my street!

    Forgot to post yesterday, but achieved both a NSD and a healthy day. Went to the gym as well after work. I weighed myself for the first time in ages, and after losing the excess I needed to, I'm now putting weight back on. It's not all muscle, some of it is down to holiday excess, but mustn't focus on weight on it's own as I am a perfectly healthy shape and size for my height. Sometimes get carried away with measuring weight and calories when a healthy lifestyle is about much more.

    Have woken up today with a terrible headache and neck ache. Have lots to do today and a birthday party for a work colleague later. Will see how I go. I'd feel bad for not going but it's also about an hour's drive each way so if I'm not feeling up to it, it's not happening. Planned to start our garden today, will have to see how that goes. Today won't be a NSD as I have some stuff I need to get.
    1/12/14 total £9,140 DFD 30/01/17
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5124473 - my original DFD

    25/08/17 new total £802 back in debt but determined clear it by February 2018! 17/11/17 - £110 2017 365 day challenge £597 saved for emergency fund
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 15th Jul 17, 10:04 AM
    • 1,037 Posts
    • 7,622 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    Well done on your gyming and the weight loss. Just out of interest how long do 40 lengths take you?
    Originally posted by thriftylass
    About 40 minutes it ain't fast, it ain't pretty, but my feet do not touch the floor once I start and I do not stop at each end. I could walk the kilometre in much less time, but I am hoping it will tone the parts that other exercises don't touch. Then I go and do 600 calories in the gym. DH can do 40 lengths in 15 minutes, but then I think I must be burning more calories slogging up and down and up and down... I like it though, he hates it and thinks it is the most boring thing ever (he was on the swim team as a kid) and will only swim in open water now.
    Last edited by f0xh0les; 15-07-2017 at 10:15 AM.
    MFW May 16 £118,340
    October 17 - £109,495.00
    • FurryBeastOz
    • By FurryBeastOz 15th Jul 17, 10:38 AM
    • 1,097 Posts
    • 14,464 Thanks
    FurryBeastOz
    Morning. Been awol for a bit. Black Dog and real life got in the way.

    Toni's friend Really sorry to hear the news. But you are right. He has to want to help himself. I did a lot of damage to my family and friends before I fully accepted my mental health issues and alcoholism and asked for help. I can never repay my family for sticking by me at my worst - I can't even grasp what I must have been like at my worst.

    Be very careful with yourself. You can't help him except by being there and loving him, but you need to be fighting fit to do that.

    OK. I'll get off my soap box.

    Only 1 NSD so far. Not a hope I'm going to hit target. But Grocery spends are low. I had one NSD destroyed by a parking ticket and I haven't had an Unprepared/Lazy/Fat spend since Monday, so that's not too bad.

    I'm on day 5 of my 'Bikini contest training' and struggling to eat the calories I'm supposed to. I hurt everywhere. But it will be worth it I'm sure

    DH off in green for the weekend. So he is happy. I need to do some housework, then I have my prepaid indulgence - a massage. I pay for a course in advance as otherwise I always feel guilty handing over money towards the end of the month if things are tight.

    Back to work on Monday for 4 weeks. Military style logistical planning going on. I'm leaving DH at home still on sick leave. I'll still have to work all the housework around 25 of paid stuff. The chances of him doing much are somewhere between zero and the square root of b**ger all
    *** Debt Free***
    NST October 1/18
    Goals - Weight loss 0/13lb from 1st Jul 17
    GC To 1/10/17 £2416.17£3,500, 69.03/74.79% of the year. Had to raise budget
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 15th Jul 17, 11:31 AM
    • 629 Posts
    • 8,921 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Thank you all for your support. It's really appreciated. FBO - You've said exactly the same as his friend and my son. My son (who is a very gentle boy normally) took his drink that night, poured it down the sink and told him if he didn't stop drinking and get some help he would lose everything he held dear. He had one drink the next day, nothing yesterday and says he won't drink today but I don't know how long this will last. I'm not really confident as he still won't talk about it. What is it they say? One day at a time.
    • mothernerd
    • By mothernerd 15th Jul 17, 1:11 PM
    • 2,156 Posts
    • 22,081 Thanks
    mothernerd
    Okay trying again, in bits this time.

    f0xh0les can you not let them slob for a few days. They have been on a timetable all year and need to unwind. Let them sleep late, sit around in their pjs all day to let them adjust. Don't over organise them, give them some say in holiday plans and remember to leave them some time 'to do their own thing'. No-one likes to be dragged away when they are in the middle of building a lego castle or they haven't reached a bit in the game where it can be saved.

    I once came in from work and DS1 had achieved his perfect set up. He was sitting on his futon playing video games, with the toaster on one side of him and the bread and tub of butter on the other.
    Building a rainbow of happiness and joy
    NST Nov #9 SFD 7/20 Food £91.50/£100 Travel £2.50/£10 DIY £/£30Debt free and EF January 2016 No mortgage Progress through plodding, baby steps and purposeful pottering
    • mothernerd
    • By mothernerd 15th Jul 17, 1:18 PM
    • 2,156 Posts
    • 22,081 Thanks
    mothernerd
    Toni'sfriend big hugs. As others have said, you can't do it for him (only support), he has to want to do it for himself. The AA program is very successful, if he is prepared to go. If not it might be worth seeing if there is a support group for partners and children where you live.

    I only went to one meeting for GA spouses but it was enormously helpful. Confirmed my decision to divorce him but there were lots of factors in that.

    Feel free to rant, moan or let off steam with us even if you can't post regularly.
    Building a rainbow of happiness and joy
    NST Nov #9 SFD 7/20 Food £91.50/£100 Travel £2.50/£10 DIY £/£30Debt free and EF January 2016 No mortgage Progress through plodding, baby steps and purposeful pottering
    • mothernerd
    • By mothernerd 15th Jul 17, 2:05 PM
    • 2,156 Posts
    • 22,081 Thanks
    mothernerd
    thrifty for starters the tooth fairy visit can count as medicinal.

    The cat's death is very recent, you are only in the first stage of grieving, everything reminds you of it and if you haven't let yourself have a good cry at the unfairness of it all, feel free to do so (we may accept that life is not fair but our inner child and sense of justice says it should be).

    The reminders will get less frequent and you will remember the good times not the sad ones. A strange cat stopped by our gateway last summer. The following evening DS3 asked me to guess what he had just seen and I said 'S's ghost'.

    The rawness of your grief is making you feel that everyone and is ill or dying but you need to recognise that these are all at one remove from you and separate incidents. Do what you can to support these people - your colleague may need a sympathetic ear, would your aunt appreciate a phone call or a letter and photographs of the children, hugs are always appreciated but your role is limited.

    Am I right in thinking you and your partner have just turned 40? I found the milestone birthdays made me depressed (25, 35 and 45 were great). I think we pause and think about the changing stages in our life (my family assured me that I had no looks to lose).

    It is partly an age thing. Think back to childhood we were somewhat shielded from death (and lots of illnesses). They were whispered between grown ups. I was cosidered too young to attend either of my grandfather's funerals and the only deaths I remember was when we had to say a special prayer for the lollipop man (we did seem to have a high turnover) or a boy who had been run over.

    Now you are of an age when it is your generation who have the illnesses, your parent's generation who are dying. You know a lot of people so will hear about them (and attend them) more frequently.

    When my brother died 10 years ago, at the age of 47 he was the first of our generation to die. I had already mentally realised that nearly all my aunts and uncles were gone and it would soon be our turn to start dwindling but it was still a shock. I was the one who saw to everything, sorted his estate, the tax people and the solicitors, went to his house (300 miles away) to sort his possessions and finding a buyer. I was fine when I did all those things but in between I had days when I couldn't get out of bed and it was 2 years before I had counselling for the grieving I couldn't do at the time.

    You have given thnks for your FIL and your parents are as well as can be expected. The best thing to do is enjoy the time you spend with them, whilst they are here.
    Building a rainbow of happiness and joy
    NST Nov #9 SFD 7/20 Food £91.50/£100 Travel £2.50/£10 DIY £/£30Debt free and EF January 2016 No mortgage Progress through plodding, baby steps and purposeful pottering
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