Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Laz123
    • By Laz123 23rd Jun 17, 12:32 PM
    • 1,440Posts
    • 875Thanks
    Laz123
    Would a female feel vulnerable if alone ans stranded?
    • #1
    • 23rd Jun 17, 12:32 PM
    Would a female feel vulnerable if alone ans stranded? 23rd Jun 17 at 12:32 PM
    So you're a female driver and your car breaks down. You're left alone and stranded by the roadside waiting for the AA man who takes hours and hours to turn up. Do you think you should feel more vulnerable than a man?

    I deliberately haven't posted this in the motoring forum because it's male dominated sometimes by petrol-heads.
    Last edited by Laz123; 23-06-2017 at 12:36 PM.
Page 5
    • SueC
    • By SueC 6th Jul 17, 4:07 PM
    • 1,531 Posts
    • 1,884 Thanks
    SueC
    I'm a women and have broken down several times over the years on busy roads and have never felt especially vulnerable.

    On every occasion several guys have stopped to ask if I was ok, and if someone was coming to help me. Someone has helped move the car away from the middle of a roundabout so it less of a danger.
    They have always been perfectly lovely, have asked politely, and when told I'm being rescued have just said that was great and left me to it.
    I have a very clear memory of thanking one chap who specifically said 'that's ok love, I'd want someone to check on my daughter if she was in your position'

    I'm not naive, I know some people are awful. But driving in itself is quite a dangerous pastime, most people just want to check your ok. I'm no more or less vulnerable than when I do anything else.
    Originally posted by littlegreenparrot
    I have particularly fond memories of one 'rescuer' many years ago, who went to great lengths to help me, whilst staying right away from me on the other side of the road and behind his own car - shouting reassuring comments, offering advice and volunteering to go and make phone calls for me etc. Personally I hadn't felt threatened in the slightest, but was bowled over by his consideration.
    • SueC
    • By SueC 6th Jul 17, 4:10 PM
    • 1,531 Posts
    • 1,884 Thanks
    SueC
    Wow... I've had an electrician, plasterer, 2 locksmiths and a carpenter around and not had any problems. I think you were pretty unlucky! My imaginary husband would not have followed either of those up either, but his imaginary wife might've had something to say about it!

    Actually I just had an email from the insurance company addressed to "Mr Rosemary7391" - but I'm pretty sure that's just a typo
    Originally posted by Rosemary7391
    As a single woman I've found that tradesmen generally fall into one of two categories. They either get all manly and protective and want to look after 'the little lady', or they see an opportunity to exploit someone who they presume doesn't have the knowledge, understanding or balls to stand up to them.

    No prizes for guessing which ones get more of my business and cups of tea, and which ones I see as fair game for a bit of sport.
    • flybynight
    • By flybynight 6th Jul 17, 4:55 PM
    • 247 Posts
    • 224 Thanks
    flybynight
    I broke down recently outside work. A colleague moved her car and I got the jump leads out. We weren't in anyone's way, we weren't doing anything weird but we got abuse. A nice postman stopped to ask if we needed help but we were managing fine.

    I've broken down 3 more times in 40 odd years of driving, one in a car park and I got shirty with rescue service as I had MIL in the car and she had terminal cancer so I wasn't impressed at waiting for hours. Once near a hotel where I had been attending a course, the RAC loaded my car up and drove me home. The last one was in a country lane and I got towed and that was an experience down narrow country lanes. I suppose I got irritated with the wait with two of them and I did want consideration for having a dying person (not relevant that it was a woman) in the car. I can honestly say I didn't feel vulnerable at all.
    Originally posted by thepurplepixie
    having been stranded with a motorbike ( u don't even get a roof to keep the rain off) on snake pass and being told I wasn't classed as a vulnerable motorist, I still feel it should be done on vulnerability rather than gender, so for example you say as u did, that you have a poorly person in the car, I'm more than happy for the human being taking the call to go "hang on, we could do wiv them getting home a bit sharpish and flybynight and the most temperamnetl bike in the world can hang on another 15 mins" and use a bit of common dog. surely that is why we have people allotting these things, not machines?
    saving for more holidays
    • Pay_me
    • By Pay_me 6th Jul 17, 8:39 PM
    • 138 Posts
    • 87 Thanks
    Pay_me
    having been stranded with a motorbike ( u don't even get a roof to keep the rain off) on snake pass and being told I wasn't classed as a vulnerable motorist, I still feel it should be done on vulnerability rather than gender, surely that is why we have people allotting these things, not machines?
    Originally posted by flybynight
    I agree agree it should be case by case and not just a blanket women first etc.

    About a month ago I broke down on a mountain pass in the Lakes. Due to no phone signal I had to walk to the nearest place with a landline to call the rescue guys. About 10 mins later 2 girls (mid 20s) walked in as they had also broken down just outside of the pub (ran out of petrol). They also made a phone call to the rescue services.

    It was 11:20am on a weekday!! The rescue services appeared within 30 mins for the girls I had to wait for over 2 hours. I do not understand why they were prioritised over me that day. Neither of us were in any danger waiting in a country pub in the Lakes with about 50 other tourists of all ages. I feel that day it should have been 1st come 1st served.

    As a bloke there are some situations I do not want to wait around for long in on my own. Some situations by all means prioritise others over me but there are some that I would be decidedly unhappy if I was left to wait just because I am a man. I have been assaulted by a complete stranger before just because he wanted a fight. I am no fighter, and actively try to avoid situations that might have even the slightest bit of aggro attached.
    Last edited by Pay_me; 06-07-2017 at 8:42 PM.
    • cool-dog
    • By cool-dog 7th Jul 17, 8:49 AM
    • 123 Posts
    • 288 Thanks
    cool-dog
    Men are statistically more likely to be a victim of violent crime than women, significantly more.
    Young men (18 to 25 I think) are the most likely.

    If you have broken down in a car, if you feel vulnerable lock yourself in the car, everyone has a phone, if someone approaches you whilst waiting for recovery call the police, At least you have some protection provided by being locked in your car until the cops arrive, or hold your hand on the horn to get attention, most of the UK population is centred around towns etc so someone will come by.
    Last edited by cool-dog; 07-07-2017 at 8:52 AM.
    • Bath cube
    • By Bath cube 10th Jul 17, 11:01 PM
    • 92 Posts
    • 60 Thanks
    Bath cube
    I would feel vulnerable yes. And I'm certain that most people would too. We are only human.
    • lobbyludd
    • By lobbyludd 11th Jul 17, 8:16 AM
    • 1,239 Posts
    • 10,638 Thanks
    lobbyludd
    to OP, if it's dark and secluded, yes, I might well feel vulnerable. I can't say whether I would feel more vulnerable than a man in the same situation, or indeed any other woman?

    Cool-dog: The statistics about male/female victims of violent crime include all violent crimes, not just this situation (lone person, attacked by stranger opportunistically), so aren't necessarily that helpful
    here re who is more likely to actually be vulnerable rather than just feeling it: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/compendium/focusonviolentcrimeandsexualoffences/yearendingmarch2016/overviewofviolentcrimeandsexualoffences#what-is-happening-to-trends-for-different-types-of-violent-crime
    A/give up smoking (done)
    • Rosemary7391
    • By Rosemary7391 11th Jul 17, 8:45 AM
    • 1,836 Posts
    • 3,186 Thanks
    Rosemary7391
    As a single woman I've found that tradesmen generally fall into one of two categories. They either get all manly and protective and want to look after 'the little lady', or they see an opportunity to exploit someone who they presume doesn't have the knowledge, understanding or balls to stand up to them.

    No prizes for guessing which ones get more of my business and cups of tea, and which ones I see as fair game for a bit of sport.
    Originally posted by SueC
    Indeed! I wonder if mentioning my work puts off the latter from trying it on - physics tends to scare people, I'm not sure why...
    Me escondo detras de mi lengua... tengo miedo de que me entiendas... pero me gustara que me entendases ¡Ayudame!
    • gingercordial
    • By gingercordial 11th Jul 17, 2:04 PM
    • 956 Posts
    • 911 Thanks
    gingercordial
    I don't drive so the likelihood of me breaking down alone is remote.

    Husband and I have breakdown cover through a financial services provider. The chap there, when running through the benefits recently, specifically advised that if we broke down together I (as a woman) should be the one to make the call instead of my husband as the breakdown service would prioritise a call from me.

    I think that's rather unfair but also probably incorrect as I'm sure they'd ask if I was alone and so I'd "lose" it anyway. I'd rather they went and got someone who actually was alone or ill.

    My main concern would be the danger from traffic not from passing assailants.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

4,539Posts Today

5,607Users online

Martin's Twitter