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  • FIRST POST
    • hunnycat
    • By hunnycat 17th Jun 17, 11:35 PM
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    hunnycat
    When to know it's time to make that final vet journey?
    • #1
    • 17th Jun 17, 11:35 PM
    When to know it's time to make that final vet journey? 17th Jun 17 at 11:35 PM
    About a year ago I asked for advice for my old boy urinating in the house original thread here : http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5459932

    Thank you for all the messages and advice.

    Now his health is failing, we were at the vet today and she has said
    To keep a diary of good and bad days. Then go back in a month to have another assessment. she has given me 2 options.
    Option 1: plan now and set a date and stick to it.
    Option 2: wait until he gets worse and akes ill.

    We have exhausted the incontince treatments and have just accepted that's life and have some specialist cleaning stuff and barred
    Him from our beds as we had to get new mattresses. He is also now allowed in some rooms when we are out. Thankfully we got 2
    Kittens who are now a year old and love him so they sleep beside him at night.


    He still has a bit of a spring in his step but he sleeps all day, is almost completely blind and has only slight hearing. He is struggling a little with the stairs as we have loads in our house.

    What are your experiences of your beloved friend taking their last journey? I want to go with option 2 but feel it's potentially cruel.

    Please don't judge me for thus post, I have had a traumatic 6 months and really feel I am not making good judgements at the moment so looking for advice and experiences. X
    would love to win an ipad!
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Page 2
    • HB58
    • By HB58 20th Jun 17, 5:17 PM
    • 1,751 Posts
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    HB58
    I know how painful this decision is to make and it must be even harder when you are already mourning the loos of a family member

    I always feel like a traitor when I have to let a beloved companion go but, rationally, I know that not letting them suffer unnecessarily is the last, loving thing I can do for them.
    • hunnycat
    • By hunnycat 20th Jun 17, 11:05 PM
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    hunnycat
    Thank you for all the lovely replies, he is currently up on the bed where he is now allowed having a cuddle with the cat!

    I have started the diary and the kids are adding to it. They are prepared for this as I have had them preparing for about a year, they have both experienced the loss of a pet when the cat had to be PTS quite suddenly which means they know what will happnen.

    Thank you all again, you have made me feel a lot less guilty for my thoughts. X
    would love to win an ipad!
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    • zaksmum
    • By zaksmum 22nd Jun 17, 10:36 PM
    • 5,411 Posts
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    zaksmum
    Such a very hard decision to have to make.

    When my old girl Lucy reached that stage, I prayed it wasn't yet time. But she got less mobile till in the end she couldn't go for a walk at all. It was too painful for her.

    I had her to the vet umpteen times, on all kinds of medications, till in the end I had to listen to the vet and realise that my girl had reached the end of the road.

    It truly broke my heart.

    If there was any consolation, it was that she was free of pain, and she'd had the very best life I could possibly give her.

    Thinking of you at this time OP
    • Murphybear
    • By Murphybear 29th Jun 17, 12:49 PM
    • 3,235 Posts
    • 6,702 Thanks
    Murphybear
    Is he still enjoying lie or is life tiring or difficult for him?

    How do you want to remember him?

    My 15 year old dog was very weak on her back legs and would spend some days dull eyed and in her bed. Other days she was alert but would stumble and fall going down the step at the back door collapsing in a heap. I was worried she would break a leg one time and her end would be remembered with her screaming in pain. I decided she had struggled on long enough. She would not get any better. How much worse could we let her get?

    The vet agreed with my decision that the time had come.

    It is never a easy decision but it is the last kindness you can do for your pet.

    May I Go Now?

    May I go now?
    Do you think the time is right?
    May I say goodbye to pain filled days
    and endless lonely nights?
    I've lived my life and done my best,
    an example tried to be.
    So can I take that step beyond
    and set my spirit free?

    I didn't want to go at first,
    I fought with all my might.
    But something seems to draw me now
    to a warm and loving light.
    I want to go
    I really do.
    It's difficult to stay.

    But I will try as best I can
    to live just one more day.
    To give you time to care for me
    and share your love and fears.
    I know you're sad and afraid,
    because I see your tears.

    I'll not be far,
    I promise that, and hope you'll always know
    that my spirit will be close to you
    wherever you may go.
    Thank you so for loving me.
    You know I love you too,
    that's why it's hard to say goodbye
    and end this life with you.

    So hold me now just one more time
    and let me hear you say,
    because you care so much for me,
    you'll let me go today.

    - Written for a beloved pet & friend, by Susan A. Jackson
    Originally posted by sheramber
    That is so wonderful and anyone who is in this position should read it. Unfortunately I am crying my eyes out, OH is concerned as I have been happy recently. Our little cat is getting on now and I know that one day she will have to go.
    • cattie
    • By cattie 29th Jun 17, 1:40 PM
    • 7,736 Posts
    • 5,263 Thanks
    cattie
    Is he still enjoying lie or is life tiring or difficult for him?

    How do you want to remember him?

    My 15 year old dog was very weak on her back legs and would spend some days dull eyed and in her bed. Other days she was alert but would stumble and fall going down the step at the back door collapsing in a heap. I was worried she would break a leg one time and her end would be remembered with her screaming in pain. I decided she had struggled on long enough. She would not get any better. How much worse could we let her get?

    The vet agreed with my decision that the time had come.

    It is never a easy decision but it is the last kindness you can do for your pet.

    May I Go Now?

    May I go now?
    Do you think the time is right?
    May I say goodbye to pain filled days
    and endless lonely nights?
    I've lived my life and done my best,
    an example tried to be.
    So can I take that step beyond
    and set my spirit free?

    I didn't want to go at first,
    I fought with all my might.
    But something seems to draw me now
    to a warm and loving light.
    I want to go
    I really do.
    It's difficult to stay.

    But I will try as best I can
    to live just one more day.
    To give you time to care for me
    and share your love and fears.
    I know you're sad and afraid,
    because I see your tears.

    I'll not be far,
    I promise that, and hope you'll always know
    that my spirit will be close to you
    wherever you may go.
    Thank you so for loving me.
    You know I love you too,
    that's why it's hard to say goodbye
    and end this life with you.

    So hold me now just one more time
    and let me hear you say,
    because you care so much for me,
    you'll let me go today.

    - Written for a beloved pet & friend, by Susan A. Jackson
    Originally posted by sheramber

    This is just so beautiful & as with previous poster, has left me in tears. It's nearly 2.5 yrs since the vet told me it was time for my boy to go & the pain of that loss is still with me each day. Reading this makes me view things in a different way. Thank you.
    The bigger the bargain, the better I feel.

    I should mention that there's only one of me, don't confuse me with others of the same name.
    • hunnycat
    • By hunnycat 8th Jul 17, 3:20 AM
    • 1,509 Posts
    • 3,243 Thanks
    hunnycat
    quick update,

    again thank you for all the messages.

    July is here so thats him 16 this month!

    he is struggling a little with the heat so having to deal with that, have made arrangements with the vet to do it as a home visit when the time comes. we are at the vets with him in 2 weeks for an assessment then take it from there.x
    would love to win an ipad!
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    • Kim_13
    • By Kim_13 10th Jul 17, 6:52 PM
    • 1,341 Posts
    • 1,710 Thanks
    Kim_13
    quick update,

    again thank you for all the messages.

    July is here so thats him 16 this month!

    he is struggling a little with the heat so having to deal with that, have made arrangements with the vet to do it as a home visit when the time comes. we are at the vets with him in 2 weeks for an assessment then take it from there.x
    Originally posted by hunnycat
    Our 13yo had a home visit last year. Definitely the nicest way.

    As it would be a home visit, you may wish to take some time to consider whether you'd prefer a home burial (if that's feasible.) If not, would you want to keep his ashes?

    My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
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    • adandem
    • By adandem 10th Jul 17, 7:00 PM
    • 3,432 Posts
    • 4,663 Thanks
    adandem
    I lost my beautiful boy last year and I still grieve for him, he was 10 and full of life. He was diagnosed with cancer and he crossed the bridge 4 weeks later as he deteriorated very quickly.
    I read up on the final stages and I was determined for him not to have to go through them, the first sign and we made the call.
    The vet came to our house which was so much better, even the cat seemed to understand what was happening. It was very dignified and peaceful.
    It's better a week too early than a day too late.
    I feel for you, it's heartbreaking but also the last kindness we owe our pets.
    • hunnycat
    • By hunnycat 10th Jul 17, 9:18 PM
    • 1,509 Posts
    • 3,243 Thanks
    hunnycat
    Our 13yo had a home visit last year. Definitely the nicest way.

    As it would be a home visit, you may wish to take some time to consider whether you'd prefer a home burial (if that's feasible.) If not, would you want to keep his ashes?

    My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
    Originally posted by Kim_13

    We do not have a garden, we have a roof terrace and the canal is our front garden. We would have him cremated and then have to sort out the ashes we alReady have waiting to be scattered/buried. I have 1 dogs and 3 cats ashes in the cupboard waiting to be put to rest!

    I am thinking a huge ceramic pot with a bush or something.

    I feel having the vet come to the house will allow my cats to understand what's happening. They all love him so much and look after him, I think if I just took him away they would struggle especially the kittens (just over a year old)
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    • charlies_mum
    • By charlies_mum 22nd Jul 17, 6:24 PM
    • 6,789 Posts
    • 30,269 Thanks
    charlies_mum
    I had to make this decision two days ago and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do

    Charlie was a rescue dog who we were told was 1 1/2 when we took him 13 1/2 years ago. He had some issues so could never be trusted as he would snap. I adored him and he survived cancer and major surgery on a leg wound.

    Recently he started passing blood but the vet couldn't find a reason and prescribed increasingly strong anti Biotics and we thought it was clearing the infection

    On Thursday morning he went for a walk and his legs gave way. That's when we knew it was time. We stayed with him and I held hi when he went to sleep

    I feel so very guilty but know it was the best thing for him
    You're only young once, but you can be immature forever
    • dippy3103
    • By dippy3103 24th Jul 17, 6:06 PM
    • 1,729 Posts
    • 2,599 Thanks
    dippy3103
    I have had to do both. One cat had a stroke in the night- prior to that she had been fine. The vet said she could try treating her but at 16 we were delaying the inevitable. So she was pts. So a short illness.

    My other cat had cancer. My vet said I would just know when he was ready to go. He had lost a lot of weight suddenly which was why I took him. The vet was right - one day he stopped wanting to eat or go out and sunbathe. So I took him to the vets that day.
    I also tend to agree that better a bit too early than allowing them to suffer. Euthanasia means gentle death. It the final act of love
    • I'm not going into
    • By I'm not going into 30th Jul 17, 9:39 AM
    • 95 Posts
    • 59 Thanks
    I'm not going into
    We had to do this with our beloved cat 2 years ago in February we lost her. She became very !!!! very quickly (and I mean quickly)! I think we took her to the vets at one point everyday for about 8/9 days. They didn't know what was wrong with her. They did blood tests, X-rays, even procedures in the operating room because they/we thought she was just constipated.
    On the Thursday we took her in and when we went to collect her we were told the devastating news she had cancer. (Lymphoma) our vets were absolutely amazing and even said we could go down the route of having a colonoscopy and have a biopsy. They were only going to charge a small amount for this.
    We took her home, cried all night, didn't sleep with what we'd just been told.
    We then decided that we were going to wait until the weekend. But the more and more we thought about it just wasn't fair in putting her through the pain etc.

    We took her back to the vets that afternoon. I'd personally not want to go through that again but as a responsible pet owner we have 3 other cats.

    She was the most wonderful cat in the whole world and she is missed every single day.

    I think when you are faced with the decision to have to go through that you need to look into the pets eyes. They will tell you when the time is right.

    Thinking of you xxx
    • hunnycat
    • By hunnycat 18th Aug 17, 7:04 PM
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    • 3,243 Thanks
    hunnycat
    We took jack to the vets today, she said due to his breed they are proper little fighters and full of energy. I noticed his spine was a bit different last night (I check him all the time) and it was crunching.
    The vets have given us a months worth of tramadol for him to give us time to arrange an afternoon for them to Come to the house to euthanise him. It will give us time to spend some quality time with him. So planning a few special treats.
    The kids are devasted.


    Thank you all for your support. X
    would love to win an ipad!
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    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 18th Aug 17, 8:39 PM
    • 5,474 Posts
    • 24,853 Thanks
    thorsoak
    I know that I'm coming to the end of the road with Freya (14 year old black lab) . She has cataracts, I suspect she has mammary cancer, and also suffers from a "wonky leg" - so probably her hip is giving out. She is also suffering, I believe, from canine dementia :-( Whilst her routine remains the same - I get up at 5.15 in order for her to go out and relieve herself (and I manage to pick up the poops from my other labs before she gets to them), then feed her before 5.45am, she is happy - at the moment. But if she isn't back in my bedroom by 7.a.m, I get "bark - bark bark bark. Bark bark bark bark! Whilst I can keep this routine going, she is happy - she still eats well, she galumphs along with the other two in the afternoon for a poodle around the park (though she ignores the other walk that the other two younger labs demand). The time will come when she doesn't want to take a walk, when she doesn't want her food, when she doesn't want to react with me, or the two younger labs - and that will be the time that we start to think about the last time......

    Today my daughter has had to take the hard decision to say "enough is enough" for her springer spaniel ...whilst she is away on holiday. Lucy has had lymphoma and has been going through chemo - but whilst they are away, Lucy has gone downhill, and they've taken the brave decision to give her release. :-( It is so, so hard - always.
    • Kathy535
    • By Kathy535 18th Aug 17, 9:17 PM
    • 404 Posts
    • 533 Thanks
    Kathy535
    Probably too late for your beloved cat but I found it helpful to identify the three things my cat liked doing best (in his case, sleeping, eating and being affectionate). When he could no longer do two of these three things I knew it was time. As you've planned, we asked the vet to come to us, it was more costly but worth it. The other thing we did was give to him the best last day we possibly could.

    It was 20 months ago and I still miss him but it is some comfort to know that we gave him the best final gift we could.
    • hunnycat
    • By hunnycat 18th Aug 17, 11:07 PM
    • 1,509 Posts
    • 3,243 Thanks
    hunnycat
    I know that I'm coming to the end of the road with Freya (14 year old black lab) . She has cataracts, I suspect she has mammary cancer, and also suffers from a "wonky leg" - so probably her hip is giving out. She is also suffering, I believe, from canine dementia :-( Whilst her routine remains the same - I get up at 5.15 in order for her to go out and relieve herself (and I manage to pick up the poops from my other labs before she gets to them), then feed her before 5.45am, she is happy - at the moment. But if she isn't back in my bedroom by 7.a.m, I get "bark - bark bark bark. Bark bark bark bark! Whilst I can keep this routine going, she is happy - she still eats well, she galumphs along with the other two in the afternoon for a poodle around the park (though she ignores the other walk that the other two younger labs demand). The time will come when she doesn't want to take a walk, when she doesn't want her food, when she doesn't want to react with me, or the two younger labs - and that will be the time that we start to think about the last time......

    Today my daughter has had to take the hard decision to say "enough is enough" for her springer spaniel ...whilst she is away on holiday. Lucy has had lymphoma and has been going through chemo - but whilst they are away, Lucy has gone downhill, and they've taken the brave decision to give her release. :-( It is so, so hard - always.
    Originally posted by thorsoak
    I am so sorry to hear this, that must have been a tough decision.
    We are going on holiday at end of October for 2 weeks and I was petrified that he would take a turn when we were away but as it turns out he isn't going to make it to then. It's just awful, these blooming animals getting right deep into our hearts! X
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    • Merlin's Beard
    • By Merlin's Beard 21st Aug 17, 7:26 PM
    • 156 Posts
    • 773 Thanks
    Merlin's Beard
    Some people find a quality of life scale useful - the HHHHHMM scale is popular over in the states, not so well known in the UK. It gets you to score different aspects of the animal's wellbeing (hurt, hunger, hydration, hygiene, happiness, mobility, more good days than bad) and sometimes it helps to break things down instead of trying to find a way to balance out the big picture all at once.

    It can either be used as a one off, or more often used every so often (e.g. once a month) to put a number on how things are going.
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    • hunnycat
    • By hunnycat 9th Sep 17, 2:08 PM
    • 1,509 Posts
    • 3,243 Thanks
    hunnycat
    Well the date is set for Thursday, the vet is coming to the house., I am struggling with my decision as he is still jumping about but his spine is deteriorating rapidly. I have upped his pain killers to make him more drowsy (vets advice) and it's not working! He is a stubborn little thing. Thank you all For your support through this. X
    would love to win an ipad!
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    • elsien
    • By elsien 10th Sep 17, 10:55 AM
    • 15,285 Posts
    • 38,370 Thanks
    elsien
    I'm sorry the time is coming to say goodbye. There'll always be a part of you hoping for one more day or week but you need to consider the impact and the distress if the spine suddenly goes without warning. It's such a difficult call to make.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 10th Sep 17, 11:44 PM
    • 1,874 Posts
    • 5,137 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    Well the date is set for Thursday, the vet is coming to the house., I am struggling with my decision as he is still jumping about but his spine is deteriorating rapidly. I have upped his pain killers to make him more drowsy (vets advice) and it's not working! He is a stubborn little thing. Thank you all For your support through this. X
    Originally posted by hunnycat
    It doesn't sound like he's in pain if he's still jumping about. Animals protect themselves from pain if they are injured and self-limit their mobility.

    Has his spine been X-rayed? What is the problem with it?
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