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  • FIRST POST
    • kellbanks
    • By kellbanks 16th Jun 17, 10:39 AM
    • 7Posts
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    kellbanks
    Teaching assistant wouldn't let daughter go to the toilet
    • #1
    • 16th Jun 17, 10:39 AM
    Teaching assistant wouldn't let daughter go to the toilet 16th Jun 17 at 10:39 AM
    Hi, just after a bit of advice.

    My daughter 6 year 2, says that the TA took the class yesterday and that 5 minutes after lunch she needed a wee. She said she asked and was told no and that she should have gone at lunch. The TA made her wait all afternoon despite asking 3 more times and explaining that holding her wee was giving her stomach ache. My little girl said she was bouncing up and down and had to keep her legs crossed. They don't have an afternoon break so she had to hold on for 2 hours.

    Should I speak to her regular teacher
    Last edited by kellbanks; 16-06-2017 at 11:56 AM.
Page 6
    • silverwhistle
    • By silverwhistle 17th Jun 17, 8:08 PM
    • 1,489 Posts
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    silverwhistle
    I'm "only" an EFL teacher, mainly to adults. A few years ago I taught in Italian primary schools. My fairly short training (and even more so my subsequent experience) taught me that averybody in my class was an individual with different characteristics and needs. I don't see much recognition of that in Vickytaylor's posts.

    In my primary school classrooms in Italy I pretended not to speak Italian. If they asked to use the toilet it was a learning opportunity (they had to use English), but if it was shortly before a break I'd indicate the short period to wait. After a break was more problematical, but even seeing the kids only once a week you learned to assess them and discreetly communicate whether they really needed to go. If I thought the need genuine then I'd ask them to wait a few minutes and let them go at a suitable point in the lesson.

    Of course the kids should go in break, nobody is disputing that, and rules that remind them to.. However, as others have pointed out and even referenced, there are other impacts of not urinating when needed. When this is due to an inflexible rule imposed by an adult with at least double the bladder capacity then I would hope said adult accepts the civil liability they are opening themselves up to by their inflexibility.
    • adonis
    • By adonis 17th Jun 17, 8:09 PM
    • 663 Posts
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    adonis
    So assuming the toilets are in the classroom the kids rush to Lunch and have to probably eat quickly so the dinner ladies can clean up and put the tables away, they are in the playground and no one says ten minutes left go to the toilet if needed.

    next thing it is line up oh-oh I need a wee what is a young child to do.
    • clearingout
    • By clearingout 17th Jun 17, 8:34 PM
    • 3,143 Posts
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    clearingout
    Oh I love the quote that says not allowing toilet breaks causes problems including limiting water intake, dehydration, lack of concentration. Hilarious. I teach - we regularly discuss such issues. I certainly limit the liquid I take in and generally drink buckets after school. I am not allowed to go to the toilet as it would mean leaving a class so I make the necessary 'arrangements' to not need to go. Difficult for 6 year olds, I agree, but we do need to be teaching our children to understand how their bodies work and what they need to do to control things. Way too many children drink bucketfuls hour after hour because they can and then are frustrated that we get frustrated that they are constantly interrupting. And then we get told all about 'human rights'. Genuine need is fine - it happens. Learning hydration is not saturation is a very important life skill that we all need to learn!
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 8:49 PM
    • 74 Posts
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    Vickytaylor
    Adonis. If that is the case they should go to the loo on the way out the playground
    • kingfisherblue
    • By kingfisherblue 17th Jun 17, 8:52 PM
    • 7,170 Posts
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    kingfisherblue
    And if it does come on suddenly that does not mean they are are unable to hold it in until after lesson
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor
    Not in every case - I can't hold on if I need to go, and it often comes on suddenly.

    As it is, I'm glad that you have never taught my children, because you sound very intolerant. I fully understand that you don't want lessons interrupted and that you don't want children messing in toilets, but you should be able to recognise (after your four years of teaching!) who is genuine and who is likely to be messing about or avoiding lessons. It shouldn't be a blanket rule for everyone, as the children that you teach are individuals. In the case of suddenly needing to go to the loo frequently, it can indicate a urine infection. This happened to my daughter when she was seven or thereabouts. She needed the toilet when we were in the Post Office and we couldn't get home quickly enough (about three or four minutes walk), and she wet herself. I took her to the doctor, discovered that she had a water infection, and mentioned it to her teacher the next day. The teacher then told me that my daughter had been asking for the toilet more frequently, but she hadn't told me about it.
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 8:56 PM
    • 74 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Vickytaylor
    Kingfisher, if a child was regularly requesting the loo I would mention it. If a child has a water infection they bring a note to go
    • jjj1980
    • By jjj1980 17th Jun 17, 9:58 PM
    • 494 Posts
    • 1,033 Thanks
    jjj1980
    Oh my word, I am adult and the urge to go tends to come on so suddenly that I go from not needing to go at all to barely able to hold it until I reach the toilet.


    My 7 year old daughter can hold it a lot longer than me and I have known us be on a 2/2.5 hours drive, stopping a number of times for me to wee and her not need or be able to go at all. However, her school will let the kids go as and when they ask. All KS1 classes have toilets for each class and KS2 have toilets within 4 metres of each classroom door.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 17th Jun 17, 10:26 PM
    • 1,399 Posts
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    Red-Squirrel
    Kingfisher, if a child was regularly requesting the loo I would mention it. If a child has a water infection they bring a note to go
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor
    A child could come into school perfectly fine and start showing the symptoms of a water infection by mid morning.

    If that child keeps asking to use the toilet and you keep refusing, not only are you causing that child significant discomfort, you're also going to miss completely the signs that they're poorly and possibly even delay them starting treatment. Those infections can get nasty quite quickly in small children.
    • kingfisherblue
    • By kingfisherblue 17th Jun 17, 10:40 PM
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    kingfisherblue
    Kingfisher, if a child was regularly requesting the loo I would mention it. If a child has a water infection they bring a note to go
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor
    Sometimes you are unaware that a child has a water infection. It can start very suddenly as Red-Squirrel says.

    (Love your name Red-Squirrel - reminds me of a brownie leader with the same name!).
    • Cheeseface
    • By Cheeseface 17th Jun 17, 11:11 PM
    • 118 Posts
    • 356 Thanks
    Cheeseface
    I'm struggling to believe that Vickytaylor is a year 2 teacher with 4 years experience (plus training) and thought it appropriate to use her name as a user name, rather than something random.
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 17th Jun 17, 11:38 PM
    • 2,382 Posts
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    cjdavies
    I'm struggling to believe that Vickytaylor is a year 2 teacher with 4 years experience (plus training) and thought it appropriate to use her name as a user name, rather than something random.
    Originally posted by Cheeseface
    Me too,even after myself and others giving personal experiences and still
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 18th Jun 17, 6:15 AM
    • 15,606 Posts
    • 39,069 Thanks
    FBaby
    Learning hydration is not saturation is a very important life skill that we all need to learn!
    And a teacher should learn, as silverwhistle pointed out, that not all kids will be at the same stage of learning, a learning that is not just a case of wanting to learn but involves something they can't control, than others.

    I keep posting on this thread because both my kids had weak bladders as kids. They were clever, well behaved, responded well to rules, respectful and in no way trouble makers, but... they both needed to drink a lot and go to the toilet a lot, including often needed to go again after less than 15 minutes. I too wondered at time if it was a case of not going fully the first time, but I soon discovered going to the toilet with them that it wasn't the case. They would wee for quite a few seconds, and somehow, wee again just as much 15 minutes later.

    This was new to me because I am and was as a kid the exact opposite. Always drank very little and could hold going to the toilet for hours even at 6yo, but that's the thing, we are not all build the same and I had to learn that it was different for my kids.

    Thankfully, they never had a bully teacher or TA and were always allowed to go because they knew their need was genuine and they are now teenagers with no issues whatsoever, although they still need to go much more often than I do and can't hold it as long as I can.
    • Aced2016
    • By Aced2016 18th Jun 17, 6:41 AM
    • 227 Posts
    • 407 Thanks
    Aced2016
    I disagree she's not in prison !!

    I have a 6 year old child, and if someone made her sit for 2 full hours I would be furious.

    Yes she should have went at lunch but she's 6. In my opinion that's beyond cruel !!! My child would have been distressed if someone done that to her.

    I would be speaking with the school to ensure my child wasn't treated like this. I would also be speaking with my child to hammer home to try use breaks for toilets.

    And I'm shocked at all the other posts to be honest. As a parent I cannot see why anyone would think doing that too a child is ok.
    • Aced2016
    • By Aced2016 18th Jun 17, 6:46 AM
    • 227 Posts
    • 407 Thanks
    Aced2016
    Adonis. If that is the case they should go to the loo on the way out the playground
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor
    And on another note ! Thank goodness there are no teachers like you at my child's school. I take it all your experience comes from books then ? Because surely your not a mother with your clueless opinions on teaching !
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 18th Jun 17, 8:11 AM
    • 74 Posts
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    Vickytaylor
    I'm struggling to believe that Vickytaylor is a year 2 teacher with 4 years experience (plus training) and thought it appropriate to use her name as a user name, rather than something random.
    Originally posted by Cheeseface
    Just because I am a teacher why shouldn't I use my real name
    • glentoran99
    • By glentoran99 18th Jun 17, 8:14 AM
    • 4,394 Posts
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    glentoran99
    Just because I am a teacher why shouldn't I use my real name
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor
    The majority of my friends who are teachers go out of their way to be anonymous online
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 18th Jun 17, 8:15 AM
    • 74 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Vickytaylor
    And on another note ! Thank goodness there are no teachers like you at my child's school. I take it all your experience comes from books then ? Because surely your not a mother with your clueless opinions on teaching !
    Originally posted by Aced2016
    No no children.

    I don't see how not letting a child go to the loo in class time is any different to making them wait when you are unable to stop in the car for example
    • Aced2016
    • By Aced2016 18th Jun 17, 8:24 AM
    • 227 Posts
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    Aced2016
    No no children.

    I don't see how not letting a child go to the loo in class time is any different to making them wait when you are unable to stop in the car for example
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor
    That's quite a silly compassion ! A car is a moving vehicle on a road ! And while at school they are able to walk freely to a toilet. And I knew you had no kids ! That's when a piece of paper isn't enough to make you a good teacher !

    Because when you ever do have a child, I can assure you you would not let a 6 year old hold her toilet in for 2 hours.
    • glentoran99
    • By glentoran99 18th Jun 17, 8:27 AM
    • 4,394 Posts
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    glentoran99
    No no children.

    I don't see how not letting a child go to the loo in class time is any different to making them wait when you are unable to stop in the car for example
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor


    Cant say I would ever be driving with children for two hours while one of them needing to go to the toilet without finding somewhere to stop
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 18th Jun 17, 8:38 AM
    • 74 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Vickytaylor
    Cant say I would ever be driving with children for two hours while one of them needing to go to the toilet without finding somewhere to stop
    Originally posted by glentoran99
    It was the TA in the OP post who has made a child wait 2 hours, what I said was the longest they have to go without a loo break is 2 hours in the afternoon in my class, they would only have to wait 2 hours if they had not gone at lunch, and to need it coming in from lunch, they must have needed it at lunch.

    Actually as they are coming in from lunch I have no problem them nipping to the toilet as there is a boys and girls toilets directly next to my classroom. I let a boy go as he was coming in from lunch earlier this week, but as soon as the class is settled that is it No one goes to the toilet until next break or the end of the day.
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