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    • kellbanks
    • By kellbanks 16th Jun 17, 10:39 AM
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    kellbanks
    Teaching assistant wouldn't let daughter go to the toilet
    • #1
    • 16th Jun 17, 10:39 AM
    Teaching assistant wouldn't let daughter go to the toilet 16th Jun 17 at 10:39 AM
    Hi, just after a bit of advice.

    My daughter 6 year 2, says that the TA took the class yesterday and that 5 minutes after lunch she needed a wee. She said she asked and was told no and that she should have gone at lunch. The TA made her wait all afternoon despite asking 3 more times and explaining that holding her wee was giving her stomach ache. My little girl said she was bouncing up and down and had to keep her legs crossed. They don't have an afternoon break so she had to hold on for 2 hours.

    Should I speak to her regular teacher
    Last edited by kellbanks; 16-06-2017 at 11:56 AM.
Page 4
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 17th Jun 17, 11:35 AM
    • 1,222 Posts
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    BrassicWoman
    He wouldn't be in your class
    Originally posted by glentoran99
    I expect that's a relief for both of you
    Downsized and mortgage free
    August 17 gricercy challenge 0/£100
    • glentoran99
    • By glentoran99 17th Jun 17, 11:35 AM
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    glentoran99
    Even in secondary school we could go to the toilet during class, and it didn't lead to everyone wanting to go, You got a lecture and told to try and make sure you didn't need to go but you were never refused.
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 11:35 AM
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    Vickytaylor
    All week I only had 1 boy ask to go 20 minutes before lunch, and he waited until lunch, like I say they know to go before lessons.
    Last edited by MSE ForumTeam5; 17-06-2017 at 11:49 AM. Reason: Quoting deleted post
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 17th Jun 17, 11:36 AM
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    cjdavies
    OP is there a reason why your little girl did not go at lunch time? She was not bursting if she held on two hours, let this be a lesson for her, go at break or she holds her wee she will soon remember
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor
    Next time you need to go, even in the house watching TV, don't go.
    • parking_question_chap
    • By parking_question_chap 17th Jun 17, 11:37 AM
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    parking_question_chap
    Perhaps get the opinion of the TA, rather than take the version of a 6 year old to be the exact truth.

    If she held if for two hours. She didnt really need to go. I bet if the child slipped and hurt herself in the toilet you would be blaming the TA for that as well.

    You need to tell your child when its acceptable to use the toilet so she doesnt need to go during class time.
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 11:44 AM
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    Vickytaylor
    Next time you need to go, even in the house watching TV, don't go.
    Originally posted by cjdavies
    Plenty of times when I have to wait, mainly when I am teaching a class.
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 11:47 AM
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    Vickytaylor
    Perhaps get the opinion of the TA, rather than take the version of a 6 year old to be the exact truth.

    If she held if for two hours. She didnt really need to go. I bet if the child slipped and hurt herself in the toilet you would be blaming the TA for that as well.

    You need to tell your child when its acceptable to use the toilet so she doesnt need to go during class time.
    Originally posted by parking_question_chap
    Exactly that is another reason I do not allow my class to go, security. They should go before school,break,lunch, and after school, plenty of breaks.
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 11:58 AM
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    Vickytaylor
    How would the people who think I am in the wrong for not letting children go feel If I left the class to use the toilet and an accident occurred while I had gone
    • glentoran99
    • By glentoran99 17th Jun 17, 12:00 PM
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    glentoran99
    How would the people who think I am in the wrong for not letting children go feel If I left the class to use the toilet and an accident occurred while I had gone
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor


    You're an adult, they are 6 year old children, If you cant see the difference you definitely are in the wrong profession
    • fabforty
    • By fabforty 17th Jun 17, 12:13 PM
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    fabforty
    I am also wondering if there is a bit of exaggeration going on here (from the child not OP). My son is 6 and there are times when he will suddenly announce that he needs to pee. However, I have never known him to be able to hold it for 2 hours when he's desperate. I find the idea of a 6 year old dying to wee managing to hold it for 2 hours, slightly incredulous. On the other hand, I agree with those saying she should have been allowed to go after a period of time, if she was clearly uncomfortable. It is a tough one. I spent an afternoon in my sons class last week and it felt like every two minutes (okay slight exaggeration, but 9 children by my recollection) a hand went up with someone needing to use the toilet, needing a drink of water from the fountain, needing a tissue. No doubt those parents would complain that their child was left dehydrated, unable to wipe their nose, forced to cross their legs if the teacher had said no.
    Last edited by fabforty; 17-06-2017 at 12:16 PM.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 17th Jun 17, 12:16 PM
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    FBaby
    Well like I say I have never had a child wet themselves in my class
    Amazing, how many years? Because in both my kids' class, some kids still had some accidents at 6yo, and I would be surprised if my boy did and that was with him being able to go.

    What would you do if indeed you had a kid regularly wetting himself and then crying afterwards?

    How would the people who think I am in the wrong for not letting children go feel If I left the class to use the toilet and an accident occurred while I had gone
    You've got to laugh at a teacher who thinks it is appropriate to compare themselves with 6yo! What do they teach at teaching training!
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 17th Jun 17, 12:19 PM
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    FBaby
    I spent an afternoon in my sons class last week and it felt like every two minutes (okay slight exaggeration, but 9 children by my recollection) a hand went up with someone needing to use the toilet, needing a drink of water from the fountain, needing a tissue.
    Surely that's why the TA reminds them about these things before it's time to go back into class, so that the chance of kids going to the toilet in class is reduced.

    As for waiting 2 hours to go, as a kid I could hold it for hours (and still do!), usually because the need finally went, but it still made it very uncomfortable until the urge did go.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 17th Jun 17, 12:25 PM
    • 1,428 Posts
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    Red-Squirrel
    Plenty of times when I have to wait, mainly when I am teaching a class.
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor
    You're not 6 though, I hope!
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 12:35 PM
    • 74 Posts
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    Vickytaylor
    No 27, the point is if they go at break they don't have to cross their legs for 2 hours
    • fabforty
    • By fabforty 17th Jun 17, 12:43 PM
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    fabforty
    Surely that's why the TA reminds them about these things before it's time to go back into class, so that the chance of kids going to the toilet in class is reduced.
    Originally posted by FBaby
    Perhaps other schools are set up differently, but in DS school the bell rings to signal end of play and the kids all head into class. There's no opportunity to say to them during break, use the toilet, have a drink etc - although it was said at the start of play (i.e. do what you need to do, before the bell goes). Also, presumably reminding them during break wouldn't have helped in OP's daughters case as she didn't need to go until 5 minutes after break ended.
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 12:55 PM
    • 74 Posts
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    Vickytaylor
    Fab forty Exactly the same procedure in my school I always remind the children as they go to break or lunch to use the toilet as I will not let them go later
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 17th Jun 17, 1:38 PM
    • 1,428 Posts
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    Red-Squirrel
    No 27, the point is if they go at break they don't have to cross their legs for 2 hours
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor
    Seems a harsh punishment for a 6 year old for forgetting to go to the loo.

    I bet they don't learn much for those 2 hours either while they're distracted by holding on.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 17th Jun 17, 2:05 PM
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    FBaby
    No 27, the point is if they go at break they don't have to cross their legs for 2 hours
    You're wrong though. Maybe you could educate yourself with this:
    https://www.continence.org.au/data/files/Resources/Toilet_Tactics_Kit_Final_Version_Locked.pdf

    Page 21 would be great. It might be Australian, but don't think children are any different there.

    I agree that being strict is good practice, but your seemingly lack of understanding of child development yet thinking you know better is not comforting.
    • f.o.d.
    • By f.o.d. 17th Jun 17, 3:21 PM
    • 56 Posts
    • 52 Thanks
    f.o.d.
    If she held if for two hours. She didnt really need to go. I bet if the child slipped and hurt herself in the toilet you would be blaming the TA for that as well.
    Originally posted by parking_question_chap
    Slipped and hurt herself in the toilet?? What is it, a skating rink?!

    No, this woman's got bouncer syndrome. She's preventing the child from using the lavatory for one reason: because she can. I hope the next child she does this to pisses on the floor and she has to mop it up. That'll wipe the smug smile off her face.
    • Curlywurli
    • By Curlywurli 17th Jun 17, 3:23 PM
    • 629 Posts
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    Curlywurli
    When I first started teaching I spent the first few weeks not letting six and seven year olds not letting children go to the toilet. A parent spoke to me though as her daughter kept wetting herself so I changed my mind on that one. Many years later and in Ks2, my only rule is that they do not go while I am explaining what they are to do. Sometimes I need the toilet and don't manage to go at break so it would be hypocritical. Same with a bottle of water. I have the hottest class in the school. A parent tried to complain that I didn't allow children to have drinks or open the windows! The Deputy soon put her right and said for her to look at my windows!
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