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    • kellbanks
    • By kellbanks 16th Jun 17, 10:39 AM
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    kellbanks
    Teaching assistant wouldn't let daughter go to the toilet
    • #1
    • 16th Jun 17, 10:39 AM
    Teaching assistant wouldn't let daughter go to the toilet 16th Jun 17 at 10:39 AM
    Hi, just after a bit of advice.

    My daughter 6 year 2, says that the TA took the class yesterday and that 5 minutes after lunch she needed a wee. She said she asked and was told no and that she should have gone at lunch. The TA made her wait all afternoon despite asking 3 more times and explaining that holding her wee was giving her stomach ache. My little girl said she was bouncing up and down and had to keep her legs crossed. They don't have an afternoon break so she had to hold on for 2 hours.

    Should I speak to her regular teacher
    Last edited by kellbanks; 16-06-2017 at 11:56 AM.
Page 2
    • DUTR
    • By DUTR 16th Jun 17, 5:22 PM
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    DUTR
    The only reason why a teacher could refuse access if they believed that they child was going to muck about and not go/come back to the classroom promptly.

    I can't comprehend how anyone would refuse a child to go otherwise. As for saying that they need to get used to going during break, fair enough, but my DS until he was 10 or so yo often had to go only 10 minutes after he'd been. He also wouldn't have been able to hold more than 10 minutes or so at 6.

    The fear of wetting themselves at that age can be quite distressing. I would have been very annoyed if my kids had experienced this at that age.
    Originally posted by FBaby
    I remember when I was at secondary school and needed the loo shortly after lunch, teacher refused after about an hour, ended up wetting myself! Left school and cycled home, was about to put my trousers in the washing machine and my Mum had asked how come I was back so early and what's happened to my trousers, I told her what happened and she took the trousers out of the machine, put them in a carrier bag and told me to get the teacher to clean them.
    Good as gold the trousers were cleaned and pressed the next day, was no need for hoo ha at the school.
    I guess things were different then, the cane and detention were used as and when needed.
    • Rosieandjim
    • By Rosieandjim 16th Jun 17, 6:00 PM
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    Rosieandjim
    I have been that little girl who was made to wait until after prayer time and wet myself. This was many years ago and I can remember sobbing all the way home. My mother went straight into school the next day and it never happened again that I was refused. I would never make a child wait no matter what age
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 16th Jun 17, 9:33 PM
    • 2,310 Posts
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    cjdavies
    Sometimes I often have the urge to just go when I didn't want to go earlier on, so I know how it feels.

    Yes speak to the teacher.

    Easy enough to say "you should gone on break" or "well you didn't want to go but do now" but it is not that simple, stupid !!!!!!!s!!

    Hell one time, long journey in the car, I stopped at the services as doing good for time so had some breakfast, thought may as well try and go before I leave and nothing. 5 mins later on the motorway I needed to go
    Last edited by cjdavies; 16-06-2017 at 9:45 PM.
    • beautiful_ravens
    • By beautiful_ravens 16th Jun 17, 9:39 PM
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    beautiful_ravens
    I think she should have been allowed to go to the loo regardless of break times. Who can concentrate on anything when they need the loo? No one.
    Just speak to the school nicely.

    My DD was [still is] one of those children who needs loads of tiny wees, but thats only if she drinks normally. At school she just stopped drinking during school hours, because she began to realise her constant askings to go became an issue. School trips on the coach were a source of anxiety. She's 16 now and still the same. Does all her drinking at home near the loo!
    ''A moment's thinking is an hour in words.'' -Thomas Hood
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 16th Jun 17, 9:41 PM
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    cjdavies
    What makes me laugh is the people saying they should on break etc are probably the same ones who take them on holidays during term time.
    • barbarawright
    • By barbarawright 16th Jun 17, 10:08 PM
    • 1,646 Posts
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    barbarawright
    Whatever the rights and wrongs of the decision, I feel sorry for the TA who seems to have been left alone in charge of a class for a whole afternoon. That can't be right
    • GwylimT
    • By GwylimT 16th Jun 17, 10:17 PM
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    GwylimT
    Whatever the rights and wrongs of the decision, I feel sorry for the TA who seems to have been left alone in charge of a class for a whole afternoon. That can't be right
    Originally posted by barbarawright
    How else would a primary teacher get their PPA slots?
    • barbarawright
    • By barbarawright 16th Jun 17, 10:22 PM
    • 1,646 Posts
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    barbarawright
    How else would a primary teacher get their PPA slots?
    Originally posted by GwylimT
    I don't know what that means.
    • GwylimT
    • By GwylimT 16th Jun 17, 10:23 PM
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    GwylimT
    I don't know what that means.
    Originally posted by barbarawright
    Planning prep and assessment
    • building with lego
    • By building with lego 16th Jun 17, 10:31 PM
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    building with lego
    How else would a primary teacher get their PPA slots?
    Originally posted by GwylimT
    The Planning, Preparation and Assessment time is usually covered by a qualified teacher, or by a Higher Level Teaching Assistant. It is 10% of the week, so half a day.

    These days it is more often covered by an HLTA, simply because they are cheaper than a teacher, and they are qualified to do some planning and teaching of the class while the school still has the budget to pay them to be a class TA too.
    They call me Dr Worm... I'm interested in things; I'm not a real doctor but I am a real worm.
    • fluffysox
    • By fluffysox 16th Jun 17, 10:34 PM
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    fluffysox
    It is quite common for TAs to look after classes for a half day a week in primary schools. Schools can't afford to pay an extra teacher to cover PPA time.
    To answer the toilet question. Most schools have a policy that toilets are to be used in break and lunch only. Most teachers ignore this and say something like, "ask me again in 10 minutes". If children really need to go, they will remember to ask again. Also it prevents students from different classes conspiring to meet in the toilets. (Yes that does happen) Personally I am a secondary teacher and even though I am able to remember to go at specific times, I have had occasions where I have been in pain myself since I must stay in the classroom for two hours at a time. Particularly when a little unwell and especially when pregnant.
    For this reason, I let all students go when they ask, unless one student is already out, then they usually have to wait until the other child comes back.
    I am aware though that I could potentially get grief from senior leadership and it does cause me some anxiety. Some staff would choose not to "break the rules".
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    • ThumbRemote
    • By ThumbRemote 17th Jun 17, 12:25 AM
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    ThumbRemote
    It's blatantly obvious that a good number of the 'hold it in, it will teach them a lesson' brigade have absolutely no experience of small children.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 17th Jun 17, 7:58 AM
    • 15,505 Posts
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    FBaby
    "ask me again in 10 minutes". If children really need to go, they will remember to ask again.
    That sounds like a fair system, but even then can be a problem for some children, especially at 6yo.

    My son is quite shy and always hated being the centre of attention or ask for anything, so would have been the one waiting to ask in the first place, hoping the desire to go would suddenly disappear, wiggling about, and finally resorting to asking when he was about to burst. Being told he had to wait another 10 minutes would most likely have resorted in him wetting himself. Even worse if he concentrated hard to prevent it during these 10 mns, therefore inevitably losing out on anything said, and would have been to shy again to ask again if the teacher would then forget about it.

    Surely it comes down to individual child? It can't be that hard to distinguish between shy kids who would only ask when desperate compared to the clown of the class who think it is funny to ask to go even when they don't really need to? Isn't that part of being a good teacher to accept that not all kids come with the same needs especially at that age?
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 8:08 AM
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    Vickytaylor
    I'm sorry but unless the girl has a medical problem she should not be going in lesson time. I teach year 2 and never allow toilet breaks, they manage perfectly fine.
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 8:42 AM
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    Vickytaylor
    OP is there a reason why your little girl did not go at lunch time? She was not bursting if she held on two hours, let this be a lesson for her, go at break or she holds her wee she will soon remember
    • glentoran99
    • By glentoran99 17th Jun 17, 8:54 AM
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    glentoran99
    I'm sorry but unless the girl has a medical problem she should not be going in lesson time. I teach year 2 and never allow toilet breaks, they manage perfectly fine.
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor
    OP is there a reason why your little girl did not go at lunch time? She was not bursting if she held on two hours, let this be a lesson for her, go at break or she holds her wee she will soon remember
    Originally posted by Vickytaylor


    Im so glad you aren't my childs teacher, Yes the children should go at break time but sometimes you just need to go again. Especially at 6?


    6 year olds don't need taught a lesson, they are only 6
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 17th Jun 17, 9:07 AM
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    BrassicWoman
    6 year olds don't need taught a lesson, they are only 6
    Originally posted by glentoran99
    Don't sent them to school then? I hate to tell you but it is literally lessons all day.

    At 6, time is a woolly concept

    TAs will not willingly just create wee puddles for themselves to clear up

    But if you aren't willing to accept that sometimes the school is right, over such a trivial matter (no one will die over wet knickers) then home schooling is an option
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    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 9:15 AM
    • 74 Posts
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    Vickytaylor
    My classes soon learn to go at break times or hold it in, if they have a medical issue they bring a doctors note. No complaints and a child has never wet themselves
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 9:56 AM
    • 74 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Vickytaylor
    As a teacher I cannot leave the children alone to go and have a wee, I go at break. So they children in my class have the same rules
    • Vickytaylor
    • By Vickytaylor 17th Jun 17, 10:02 AM
    • 74 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Vickytaylor
    Last year I had a similar incident when a parent that a girl in my class had wet herself in her mums car on the way home, according to her mum I was to blame as I had refused to let her go during the afternoon. I pointed out that her daughter could have used the loo before her journey home and that it was not under my watch that she had wet herself
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