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  • FIRST POST
    • Cupcake Returns
    • By Cupcake Returns 15th Jun 17, 10:50 PM
    • 82Posts
    • 241Thanks
    Cupcake Returns
    Reconciling with estranged family
    • #1
    • 15th Jun 17, 10:50 PM
    Reconciling with estranged family 15th Jun 17 at 10:50 PM
    This week has hit me hard

    My sister who I have estranged from for 3 years has been caught up in Grenfell. She teaches in the local school, lives just four streets away, knows many of the residents


    At the same time my sister in law is taken into hospital having her breast removed due to breast cancer. She is estranged from her two sisters. She's a long road ahead of her without her sisters


    The past years have just flown by. We all have busy lives, very rarely do I have time to reflect on the fact that we sisters haven't spoken. However this week it's really hit me that she is my sister and I do love her


    I don't want to talk about why we stopped talking, it's done,what I am asking is has anyone been in this position and managed to build bridges? And how?

    i don't need a hard time over this, just seeking others experiences really
Page 2
    • no1catman
    • By no1catman 16th Jun 17, 9:38 PM
    • 2,462 Posts
    • 1,868 Thanks
    no1catman
    I shouldn't laugh
    Originally posted by Rosieandjim
    I know the feeling!
    I used to work for Tesco - now retired - speciality Clubcard
    • Robisere
    • By Robisere 16th Jun 17, 9:46 PM
    • 1,502 Posts
    • 2,256 Thanks
    Robisere
    I have one remaining brother, much older than me, who had 5 daughters and two sons. I had another brother, 15 months older than middle bro. I always got on well with eldest bro, despite the big age difference, but had several problems with middle bro, mainly due to his "special" place in mother's eyes. Over the years, the eldest two fell out many times, while I just avoided conflict. Then one night it boiled over between them and a massive fight took place. Big bro won, but it was in front of middle bro's kids and it disgusted me when I heard about it: I love my nephews and nieces, always have. Some of them are much nearer my age than I am to their parents' ages! I stopped talking to both of them until one night we were all 3 in the same pub, I was with our dad. Because I was fed up with all this hurting my parents, I made them make up there and then, or neither dad or mum, or myself, would talk to them again. They got drunk together, dad and I went home.

    Fast forward some years, big bro was dying with cancer, middle bro and I visiting him daily. He passed away and middle bro cried. Understandable, I thought, they grew up together before I came along.

    FF more years, I moved away to another county. Middle bro and I were still not comfortable, never have been, his mouth always operates before brain gets into the act. I made the best of it, stayed civil, but most of his kids were not talking to him: if they needed advice, they asked me.

    Then he had a stroke. I made one of my few journeys to see him and we were fine, probably better to each other than we had ever been. I went again a few months later and he was very bitter, dragging up the past and how big bro had beat him up all those years ago. His words: "I wish he was alive, so I could kill him!" I didn't fall out, made no response to that, just left and have no intention of going back. He has actually always been bitter like that, but getting into his 80's has made him worse.

    Daft thing is, his 5 daughters are the closest sisters you could meet, they obviously love each other and meet up several times a month for a Girl's Night. I stay in touch with them on FB.

    It's families, because everyone thinks you should be close, no one takes notice of the fact that you can be siblings who have entirely different natures.
    There may be more than one way to skin a cat.
    But the result is always inedible.

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