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  • FIRST POST
    • evherkes
    • By evherkes 15th Jun 17, 3:13 PM
    • 55Posts
    • 16Thanks
    evherkes
    A tad sensitive
    • #1
    • 15th Jun 17, 3:13 PM
    A tad sensitive 15th Jun 17 at 3:13 PM
    Not sure if this is just me being overly sensitive but I'm finding more and more less helpfulness in MSE forums and more judgements, sarcasms and just unnecessary comments which are not helpful to posters...maybe I'm just being soft!
    Emily
Page 1
    • *~Zephyr~*
    • By *~Zephyr~* 15th Jun 17, 3:23 PM
    • 552 Posts
    • 1,067 Thanks
    *~Zephyr~*
    • #2
    • 15th Jun 17, 3:23 PM
    • #2
    • 15th Jun 17, 3:23 PM
    I see a lot of people complaining that posters are being abusive and rude when I can see no evidence of that, so perhaps people are being more sensitive lately. People are very quick to press the "report" button when they feel slighted.

    That being said, it is sometimes difficult to judge the tone of a written post, whereas the spoken word comes with cues from tone of voice, facial expressions etc. Sometimes I think people are reading judgement or sarcasm where there is none.

    This forum is generally a friendly face, and you will find posters being called out if the regulars think they are being too harsh. If there are two ways to take something, its generally best to assume that the nicer way is what was intended and not to take offense until it is blatantly obvious that someone is being mean.
    • IAmWales
    • By IAmWales 15th Jun 17, 4:13 PM
    • 834 Posts
    • 1,753 Thanks
    IAmWales
    • #3
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:13 PM
    • #3
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:13 PM
    You're being overly sensitive.

    Would you be posting this if the responses had been telling you to go for more compo?

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5664941
    • kingfisherblue
    • By kingfisherblue 15th Jun 17, 4:17 PM
    • 7,156 Posts
    • 15,418 Thanks
    kingfisherblue
    • #4
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:17 PM
    • #4
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:17 PM
    Not sure if this is just me being overly sensitive but I'm finding more and more less helpfulness in MSE forums and more judgements, sarcasms and just unnecessary comments which are not helpful to posters...maybe I'm just being soft!
    Originally posted by evherkes
    Are you referring to your thread about your wedding cake? I've just read it, and you seem upset that posters are not agreeing that a refund of £80 is insufficient. I didn't comment on the thread, as I didn't have anything to add. however, I don't think that most posters were judgemental or sarcastic. They may have been unhelpful in that they didn't tell you how to get bigger refund, but I think that maybe you are being a little too sensitive.

    ETA: the thread thst I referred to: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5664941
    • Rosemary7391
    • By Rosemary7391 15th Jun 17, 4:19 PM
    • 1,636 Posts
    • 2,855 Thanks
    Rosemary7391
    • #5
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:19 PM
    • #5
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:19 PM
    I think in this case a lot of people are saying things to the effect of "just get over it". It's true that it needs to be got over, but simply telling someone to get over it doesn't get them any closer to it. Try not to take it to heart - they mean well at least
    Me escondo detras de mi lengua... tengo miedo de que me entiendas... pero me gustara que me entendases ¡Ayudame!
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 15th Jun 17, 4:28 PM
    • 12,293 Posts
    • 16,458 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    • #6
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:28 PM
    • #6
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:28 PM
    Real life is not usually quoted out of context.

    It makes a difference.
    Last edited by MSE ForumTeam5; 16-06-2017 at 10:00 AM. Reason: Quoting deleted post
    Advice; it rhymes with mice. Advise; it rhymes with wise.
    • avogadro
    • By avogadro 15th Jun 17, 4:35 PM
    • 2,805 Posts
    • 4,481 Thanks
    avogadro
    • #7
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:35 PM
    • #7
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:35 PM
    Real life is not usually quoted out of context.

    It makes a difference.
    Originally posted by Gloomendoom
    Context was extremely clear.

    Internet dialogue is different to real life dialogue, not always for the better.
    • evherkes
    • By evherkes 15th Jun 17, 4:50 PM
    • 55 Posts
    • 16 Thanks
    evherkes
    • #8
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:50 PM
    • #8
    • 15th Jun 17, 4:50 PM
    Today was (ironically) the icing on the cake. I read through posts and find "comments" of opinion that doesn't really help someone make a decision either way. I am all for seeing both sides (hence my post) but suggesting that I managed to get married without understanding melting etc. is well...uncalled for.
    I find it quite tiresome, if someone annoys me or I feel opinionated and realised it doesn't help a poster, I just don't say anything because it just causes upset and people to jump on the bandwagon.
    I appreciate people saying I should be grateful for the offer and those that said ask for more equally but others are just (in my eyes) wanting to have their tuppence and not in anyway helping the situation.
    Having taken a step back, it's nice to know not everyone is like that but I just find it on so any posts and tiresome!
    Emily
    • joansgirl
    • By joansgirl 15th Jun 17, 5:06 PM
    • 11,812 Posts
    • 45,381 Thanks
    joansgirl
    • #9
    • 15th Jun 17, 5:06 PM
    • #9
    • 15th Jun 17, 5:06 PM
    Some posters can be deliberately unhelpful and even downright nasty. You get them on every forum. It's what the ignore function is for.
    • Malthusian
    • By Malthusian 15th Jun 17, 5:17 PM
    • 2,224 Posts
    • 3,091 Thanks
    Malthusian
    I read through posts and find "comments" of opinion that doesn't really help someone make a decision either way.
    Originally posted by evherkes
    Only because you'd already made your decision and weren't interested in what anyone else thought, unless they agreed with it.
    • avogadro
    • By avogadro 15th Jun 17, 8:13 PM
    • 2,805 Posts
    • 4,481 Thanks
    avogadro
    Some posters can be deliberately unhelpful and even downright nasty. You get them on every forum. It's what the ignore function is for.
    Originally posted by joansgirl
    They are now making comments about Grenfell Tower!

    If I were the OP I would ask for both threads to be removed.
    • LandyAndy
    • By LandyAndy 15th Jun 17, 10:06 PM
    • 23,633 Posts
    • 50,239 Thanks
    LandyAndy
    The board you were posting on is unfortunately well-known for its keyboard warriors (a reason I rarely venture over there). Would people make unpleasant remarks like this in real life, I wonder.
    Originally posted by avogadro
    Lolololol. OP,I advise you never post in the motoring board.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 15th Jun 17, 10:19 PM
    • 14,651 Posts
    • 36,383 Thanks
    elsien
    Lots of people read the forums without logging in or posting.
    I've not read the OPs threads but I do think at times people jump in making sarcastic comments at the start of a thread, and the forums have got less friendlier at times. One of the downsides of getting bigger and busier and no moderators. Lots of helpful people still out there as well though.
    Last edited by MSE ForumTeam5; 16-06-2017 at 10:01 AM. Reason: Quoting deleted post
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Geoff1963
    • By Geoff1963 15th Jun 17, 10:36 PM
    • 322 Posts
    • 185 Thanks
    Geoff1963
    A friend once wrote to thank a distant relative, for a wonderful social function that they had arranged. My friend said that it was very enjoyable, had clearly taken a lot of effort, and that it was very much appreciated. Their relative however, decided to interpret the letter as sarcasm, and hence every word of thanks became another dig. No idea how, but there we are.

    Perhaps the trick with suspected sarcasm, is to assume it isn't. In any case ; if someone says, "Thanks for that", a reply of, "You're welcome", works either way.
    • tommix
    • By tommix 15th Jun 17, 10:47 PM
    • 34,926 Posts
    • 140,882 Thanks
    tommix
    Op, sarcasm is indeed the lowest form of wit, however in my case it is the highest form of intelligence..There is a fine line between sarcasm and spitefulness and only those blessed with both wit and intelligence are able to walk that tightrope.

    Unfortunately the purveyors of 'sarcasm' that you have so far encountered are not endowed with either of the above qualities.

    Therefore may I suggest that you temporarilly refrain from posting on your thread, as I fear the consequences may be detrimental to both your mental and physical well being.

    Meantime I would seek refuge here in the 'Arms' as we are a great bunch of lads, without a spiteful bone in our respective bodies.
    Last edited by tommix; 15-06-2017 at 11:03 PM.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 16th Jun 17, 9:16 AM
    • 16,658 Posts
    • 41,804 Thanks
    Pollycat
    I've read both the OP's other threads (on the same subject) and I would have asked the same questions and made the same observations that I've done in my reply on one of the threads as I would have done if someone had asked my opinion IRL.

    I do think a lot of posters are quick to play the 'bullying' card or to say posters are going off the subject or being sarcastic when they're not getting the replies they clearly want.
    Last edited by MSE ForumTeam5; 16-06-2017 at 10:02 AM. Reason: Quoting deleted post
    • LABMAN
    • By LABMAN 16th Jun 17, 12:20 PM
    • 590 Posts
    • 905 Thanks
    LABMAN
    OP you are in danger of making a mountain out of a molehill regarding the wedding cake and by doing so spoiling what was I'm sure was a very happy day yourself.

    Take the £80 offered and forget about it. Far, far worse has happened at weddings!
    Je suis Parisien
    • Mobeer
    • By Mobeer 16th Jun 17, 12:50 PM
    • 1,659 Posts
    • 4,360 Thanks
    Mobeer
    OP, you asked people for their opinions. Then you didn't like those opinions. Now you are on this forum complaining about other people's posts. My opinion is that you are being overly sensitive. Feel free to disagree with this opinion too, and start another thread to complain about it.
    • angryparcel
    • By angryparcel 16th Jun 17, 1:06 PM
    • 756 Posts
    • 425 Thanks
    angryparcel
    Not sure if this is just me being overly sensitive but I'm finding more and more less helpfulness in MSE forums and more judgements, sarcasms and just unnecessary comments which are not helpful to posters...maybe I'm just being soft!
    Originally posted by evherkes
    so will be expect a 4th thread saying people are upsetting you on this thread.

    to me you want people to agree with you and if they dont you start another thread to try and get the replies you want then stared this thread because it did not work.
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