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  • FIRST POST
    • andygb
    • By andygb 15th Jun 17, 7:49 AM
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    andygb
    Giving lifts to work - punctuality
    • #1
    • 15th Jun 17, 7:49 AM
    Giving lifts to work - punctuality 15th Jun 17 at 7:49 AM
    My OH arranged to give a colleague a lift to work today (the colleague actually asked my OH if it would be OK), and my OH stressed that she would be leaving the house at 7.15 sharp, whether she was there or not.
    My OH waited until 7.20 then left for work, and the colleague did not phone or turn up.
    Why are people so unreliable when others try to help them?
    A couple of years ago at another firm, my OH started to give a lft to one of her colleagues, and that person got progressively later each day, until my wife was 30 minutes late for work on the Friday and was given a talking to by her manager.
    On the Monday my OH left bang on time, the colleague turned up late to find my OH had gone, and then threw a strop when she eventually got to work (her husband had to take her).
    Is it worth trying to help people when they do not have any consideration?
Page 1
    • getmore4less
    • By getmore4less 15th Jun 17, 7:58 AM
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    getmore4less
    • #2
    • 15th Jun 17, 7:58 AM
    • #2
    • 15th Jun 17, 7:58 AM
    It is easier to just stick to the deal unless you want to change it.

    Don't create thing in your life that bother you.

    "if your there by 7:15(by my watch do you want to sync?) you can have a lift"


    I would not let the, did not turn up, did not call, bother me.
    7:15 I am gone.

    Now if they turned up a 6:30 and expected a coffee/breakfast while waiting then that would annoy me.
    • TELLIT01
    • By TELLIT01 15th Jun 17, 8:15 AM
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    TELLIT01
    • #3
    • 15th Jun 17, 8:15 AM
    • #3
    • 15th Jun 17, 8:15 AM
    I've only once got involved in a car-share scheme, rather than me always giving another person a lift, and it quickly drove me nuts. The one person was always late picking up when he was the driver, and was never ready to leave on time either. Always "I just want to finish....." and we'd all be hanging around for up to half an hour. The share lasted about 6 weeks before I said I'd make my own way.
    Simple fact is some people are selfish and the only thing that matters is their convenience.
    • andygb
    • By andygb 15th Jun 17, 8:16 AM
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    andygb
    • #4
    • 15th Jun 17, 8:16 AM
    • #4
    • 15th Jun 17, 8:16 AM
    She gave me a ring from work, and said the other person hasn't tried calling her. I am off out soon, and nobody turned up after she left, so unless the other person had a genuine reason, then that is a pretty poor show. My OH starts work 15 minutes before the other person and has to clock on, and they are pretty strict on the rules.
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 15th Jun 17, 8:22 AM
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    PasturesNew
    • #5
    • 15th Jun 17, 8:22 AM
    • #5
    • 15th Jun 17, 8:22 AM
    Don't pick them up from their house ... pick them up from their nearest bus stop. If they're not there you keep driving.
    That depersonalises it and puts the onus on them to be on time. If you're close to somebody's house/in their road it can be more awkward if you don't wait for them to shuffle out late.
    • andygb
    • By andygb 15th Jun 17, 8:44 AM
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    andygb
    • #6
    • 15th Jun 17, 8:44 AM
    • #6
    • 15th Jun 17, 8:44 AM
    Don't pick them up from their house ... pick them up from their nearest bus stop. If they're not there you keep driving.
    That depersonalises it and puts the onus on them to be on time. If you're close to somebody's house/in their road it can be more awkward if you don't wait for them to shuffle out late.
    Originally posted by PasturesNew

    They were supposed to come to our house (the OH of the colleague was supposed to drop her here), which is very easy to find and only five miles away from the colleague. It is on the route to work, which means my OH doesn't have to put herself out in any way.
    • Malthusian
    • By Malthusian 15th Jun 17, 12:37 PM
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    Malthusian
    • #7
    • 15th Jun 17, 12:37 PM
    • #7
    • 15th Jun 17, 12:37 PM
    I'm not seeing the problem. Your OH, very sensibly, said that she'd be leaving at 7.15am sharp whether colleague was there or not. She left at 7.20am pretty much as promised (it was her choice to give the colleague another five minutes, and she could have left five minutes late because she couldn't find her keys). The colleague hasn't complained yet and if they do they have nothing to complain about. What's the issue?

    Maybe they got their OH to drive them all the way when they realised they weren't going to make it for 7.15. And assumed that as they'd already agreed that if they weren't there for 7.15 your wife would drive off, there was no need to inform her. Inconsiderate, but not unusually so.
    • shortcrust
    • By shortcrust 15th Jun 17, 1:52 PM
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    • #8
    • 15th Jun 17, 1:52 PM
    • #8
    • 15th Jun 17, 1:52 PM
    Some people are very laid back! I see the problem and I'd be a bit cross. It's not just inconsiderate. If you say you're going to be at someone's house for a lift it's basic manners* to let them know if you're not going to make it, have made other arrangements etc.

    * really really basic
    • andygb
    • By andygb 15th Jun 17, 3:22 PM
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    andygb
    • #9
    • 15th Jun 17, 3:22 PM
    • #9
    • 15th Jun 17, 3:22 PM
    I'm not seeing the problem. Your OH, very sensibly, said that she'd be leaving at 7.15am sharp whether colleague was there or not. She left at 7.20am pretty much as promised (it was her choice to give the colleague another five minutes, and she could have left five minutes late because she couldn't find her keys). The colleague hasn't complained yet and if they do they have nothing to complain about. What's the issue?

    Maybe they got their OH to drive them all the way when they realised they weren't going to make it for 7.15. And assumed that as they'd already agreed that if they weren't there for 7.15 your wife would drive off, there was no need to inform her. Inconsiderate, but not unusually so.
    Originally posted by Malthusian
    The colleague turned up at work at her time (15 minutes after my OH's start time) and didn't say anything until approached by my OH. She then stated that her boyfriend said he would drive her in, didn't apologise for not letting my OH know.
    This was the first and last time she will be getting the offer of a lift.
    The fact that you do not see a problem with it, speaks volumes about your attitude.
    • andygb
    • By andygb 15th Jun 17, 3:23 PM
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    andygb
    Some people are very laid back! I see the problem and I'd be a bit cross. It's not just inconsiderate. If you say you're going to be at someone's house for a lift it's basic manners* to let them know if you're not going to make it, have made other arrangements etc.

    * really really basic
    Originally posted by shortcrust

    Exactly. Is it really that difficult nowadays to show a bit of consideration towards others?
    • ScorpiondeRooftrouser
    • By ScorpiondeRooftrouser 15th Jun 17, 4:24 PM
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    ScorpiondeRooftrouser
    The colleague turned up at work at her time (15 minutes after my OH's start time) and didn't say anything until approached by my OH. She then stated that her boyfriend said he would drive her in, didn't apologise for not letting my OH know.
    This was the first and last time she will be getting the offer of a lift.
    The fact that you do not see a problem with it, speaks volumes about your attitude.
    Originally posted by andygb
    It's a bit irritating, but not something I'd think was worth sharing with strangers. If I posted on websites every time anyone I know does anything slightly annoying I would never be offline.
    • xapprenticex
    • By xapprenticex 15th Jun 17, 7:42 PM
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    xapprenticex
    It can work, on a if you are there at whatever time basis.

    But for the most part, its not worth it, gets you into situations and you come to see how fickle your friendships with most colleagues really is.
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 15th Jun 17, 8:25 PM
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    jobbingmusician
    I think that your OH was very clear about leaving at 7.15, and it may have been for this reason that the colleague felt that s/he didn't need to bother to tell OH they wouldn't be there, knowing that they would leave at 7.15 anyway. Yes, bloody inconsiderate! I would have been FURIOUS! But it might be worth trying again (with a different person, I mean) if you can keep to your own timescales, and leave exactly when you say you are going to - people will soon learn!

    BUT - a regular car share thingy must involve contributions towards petrol, as there is always stress. There's bound to be the odd morning when the chauffered person is late - perhaps through no fault of their own, and sharing the costs does mitigate sharing the risk to some extent.

    (Personally I get stressed just watching Car Share, thinking that they're going to be late! )
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    • aife
    • By aife 16th Jun 17, 1:46 PM
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    aife
    She sounds like a selfish !!!!!
    I actually find it strange that she even asked to be given a lift
    I don't drive and I work shifts but I always feel bad when I see colleagues being badgered to ferry people around.
    One place I worked someone suggested they could pick me up as I lived on his route in . I admit I'm not usually the most punctual of people but I made sure I was always in good time for him , I would have been mortified if I'd caused him a problem
    • username678
    • By username678 16th Jun 17, 7:07 PM
    • 11 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    username678
    This makes me cross! As someone who has been offered lifts from colleagues, I make sure I'm always early and ready to go.

    I've actually had the opposite situation happen to me where a colleague who was giving me lifts forgot to pick me up, and another day forgot to tell me they weren't in making me late each time so now I politely decline!
    • CKhalvashi
    • By CKhalvashi 18th Jun 17, 2:10 AM
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    CKhalvashi
    Some people are very laid back! I see the problem and I'd be a bit cross. It's not just inconsiderate. If you say you're going to be at someone's house for a lift it's basic manners* to let them know if you're not going to make it, have made other arrangements etc.

    * really really basic
    Originally posted by shortcrust
    I'm usually laid back, however a few months ago had a day of meetings in the city my mother (who lives about 5 miles from where I live) works.

    She leaves home at 6:30 for an 8am start, and I made sure I was parked at her house at 6:15 (just before actually) for when she was ready to go.

    Had a quick coffee with her and up to the city she works in, then got a bus to the city centre from the place she works to have breakfast.

    I know this is family (and a one off), however I'd do this for anyone. Same procedure applied about 18 months ago when I was on jury service in the same city (we car shared and I claimed half the mileage allowance, split based on who drove what, as we felt it was a fair way to help the environment and save the government some money).

    I wouldn't take the mick with timings, and therefore wouldn't allow others to do so.
    "I kada sanjamo san, nek bude hiljadu raznih boja" (L. Stamenkovic)

    Call me Remainer or Romaniac, but not Remoaner. It's insulting and I have the right to have my voice heard too.

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