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    • sulkisu
    • By sulkisu 12th Jun 17, 1:41 PM
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    sulkisu
    School photos - is it cruel not to buy them?
    • #1
    • 12th Jun 17, 1:41 PM
    School photos - is it cruel not to buy them? 12th Jun 17 at 1:41 PM
    Perhaps cruel is the wrong word, but .....here goes.

    DS1 is 6 and has just bought home the proofs for his school photos and to be frank, they are awful. My son is a gorgeous boy, but unfortunately he does this thing when he poses of pictures, which I can only describe as a cross between a grimace and trying to show every single tooth in his head at the same time. It reminds me of Gromit or cartoon impressions of Tony Blair's smarmy grin. The same thing happened last year when he was in reception. He looked like he was chewing a wasp. I bought the pictures last year, but they are in a drawer somewhere .

    The cheapest set this year cost £28, and feels like a lot of money for something that will never see the light of day. I would rather spend more and take him to a professional photographer and get a really good picture in his uniform. I did this when he was 4, and the photos are amazing - but I feel mean not buying the school pictures, plus I don't want to hurt his feelings. So maybe I just suck it up like last year; however he might ask me to put the pictures up and I really don't want to.

    Has anyone else been in this position and if so, what did you do? I feel like such a cow.
Page 1
    • warehouse
    • By warehouse 12th Jun 17, 1:51 PM
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    warehouse
    • #2
    • 12th Jun 17, 1:51 PM
    • #2
    • 12th Jun 17, 1:51 PM
    I have 3 children, the oldest of which is now 19, so I've been there, done that and read the book etc. We've only ever purchased the good pictures, (surprisingly few), and never the bad ones. At the eye watering cost we've saved a lot of money over the years. No it isn't cruel.

    Same with class photos. One year all the children in my eldests class were dressed identically, except one child who had a completely different coloured top on. What did they do? They put that child bang in the middle of the photo. I don't think anyone bought the photo that year!
    Pants
    • warby68
    • By warby68 12th Jun 17, 1:54 PM
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    warby68
    • #3
    • 12th Jun 17, 1:54 PM
    • #3
    • 12th Jun 17, 1:54 PM
    We 'quietly' neglected to buy a few school photos over the years.

    I have sons, once they'd brought the pack home at that age they wouldn't remember it again if noone else said anything. Once they got older they didn't actually want any buying as they didn't like them ! Even later still the school got into these fancy packages with all kind of options so then we used cost as a reason for selective purchasing - they were good photos then to be fair and you get to choose from about 50 per child.

    I'd try for quietly ignoring.

    Does your son actually like the photo himself? Slightly different if he thinks he looks fantastic lol
    • Caroline_a
    • By Caroline_a 12th Jun 17, 2:21 PM
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    Caroline_a
    • #4
    • 12th Jun 17, 2:21 PM
    • #4
    • 12th Jun 17, 2:21 PM
    Why not book a sitting with a professional photographer? I bought very few when the kids were little as, like yours, they were dreadful.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 12th Jun 17, 2:22 PM
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    Mojisola
    • #5
    • 12th Jun 17, 2:22 PM
    • #5
    • 12th Jun 17, 2:22 PM
    DS1 is 6 and has just bought home the proofs for his school photos and to be frank, they are awful.
    Originally posted by sulkisu
    Why not just take some photos of him at home?
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 12th Jun 17, 2:41 PM
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    Red-Squirrel
    • #6
    • 12th Jun 17, 2:41 PM
    • #6
    • 12th Jun 17, 2:41 PM
    Why not just take some photos of him at home?
    Originally posted by Mojisola
    I agree with this, we all have a standard of camera now on our phones that would have cost a fortune a decade ago!

    Relaxed snaps taken at the right moment always capture nicer smiles and more natural expressions anyway.
    • Lucyxx
    • By Lucyxx 12th Jun 17, 2:43 PM
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    Lucyxx
    • #7
    • 12th Jun 17, 2:43 PM
    • #7
    • 12th Jun 17, 2:43 PM
    Luckily ours are alright. But I kind of think them being a bit funny looking is part of the charm and will be funny to look back on in years to come.

    A bit like when we first took our children on a log flume ride. We got to the end to look at the picture and our son had hidden as he didn't want to get splashed. It looked like OH, daughter, me and a big gap in between. At the time we thought it was rubbish as it didn't have all of us in the pic, but now I wish we had bought it as it was quite funny thinking about it.

    It's not cruel to not buy them though!
    • jackieblack
    • By jackieblack 12th Jun 17, 3:01 PM
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    jackieblack
    • #8
    • 12th Jun 17, 3:01 PM
    • #8
    • 12th Jun 17, 3:01 PM
    No it's not cruel not to buy them and £28 is an outrageous price!
    If enough parent's decline to buy them and complain to the school maybe they'll reassess the photographer they use/renegotiate the package cost.
    It's all about making money - generally the school gets a cut of the value of photos sold, the higher % they take, the more expensive the photos are (and vice versa)
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    • gingercordial
    • By gingercordial 12th Jun 17, 3:11 PM
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    gingercordial
    • #9
    • 12th Jun 17, 3:11 PM
    • #9
    • 12th Jun 17, 3:11 PM
    Buy one every couple of years for the laugh/future showing to girlfriends or at his wedding

    It isn't cruel to not buy the rest. If you want a nice photo do as you've done before and go to a professional. If he even asks, tell him you're going out together to get some special, nicer ones done from a good photographer because the school one didn't catch his gorgeous smile properly.
    • ringo_24601
    • By ringo_24601 12th Jun 17, 3:19 PM
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    ringo_24601
    I agree with this, we all have a standard of camera now on our phones that would have cost a fortune a decade ago!

    Relaxed snaps taken at the right moment always capture nicer smiles and more natural expressions anyway.
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    We do.. but most people are hopeless when it comes to relaxed portrait photography. Also, camera phones have tiny, tiny sensors and lack zoom, so actually don't make an ideal 'camera' for portraits.

    We do a nice photo of our boys in an area of the house that has perfect portrait light (misted glass doors) with my compact camera. I can take a dozen and pick the one I like - rather than the rubbish we get from school.

    I guess the one we do like to get is the class photo.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 12th Jun 17, 4:10 PM
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    FBaby
    I didn't buy my kids' school pics when they were bad. They were fine with it and even agreed. I regret it now they are teenagers. It's not about them being photogenic, it was about special expressions at the time. As a matter of fact, the pictures of them are preferred are when they are themselves, even when they don't look their best.

    Saying that, it was never a question of buying them vs putting food on the table, hence the regrets.
    • AylesburyDuck
    • By AylesburyDuck 12th Jun 17, 4:14 PM
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    AylesburyDuck
    4 kids here, only ever bought the good ones, and some of the kids never had ANY good ones.
    Most have more than enough photos of their kids growing up that it really not issue to buy school ones as well, especially if awful!
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
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    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 12th Jun 17, 4:14 PM
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    PasturesNew
    Our parents bought two sets when we were in infant/junior school - but back then there were fewer opportunities to have a photo taken.

    The last set hung on their walls until 2011..... I looked bl00dy awful and many a joke was made about my photo over the decades

    You have more alternatives and choices these days - no need to buy them if they're not good.
    • chesky
    • By chesky 12th Jun 17, 5:13 PM
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    chesky
    Sometimes it's cruel TO buy them.
    • pinkshoes
    • By pinkshoes 12th Jun 17, 5:49 PM
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    pinkshoes
    I bought the reception classphoto, and will buy the class photo in Y6.

    Didn't like any of the individual ones!
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
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    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 12th Jun 17, 5:51 PM
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    Mojisola
    Relaxed snaps taken at the right moment always capture nicer smiles and more natural expressions anyway.
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    I was thinking that it would be easy to do a 'school photo' at home - if the child is more relaxed, the photo could be better than the ones that cost a lot.
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 12th Jun 17, 5:58 PM
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    cjdavies
    I wish my parents would take the photo of me in my cap and gown down, hate seeing it, the sooner that is in the bin the better.
    • sulkisu
    • By sulkisu 12th Jun 17, 6:29 PM
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    sulkisu
    Thanks all, I feel a bit less of a cow now knowing that not every parent buys their pictures.

    For those suggesting taking a photograph myself or taking my son to a professional - you are slightly missing my point (or more likely I haven't been clear ). It's not about other options for getting a good picture, it's the 'not buying their school photo'. I'm basically saying 'I don't like this picture of you', which feels a bit cold and unkind! Perhaps I'm overthinking it.
    • jackomdj
    • By jackomdj 12th Jun 17, 6:40 PM
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    jackomdj
    I never buy the individual one, we can do much better ones at home. But I have bought every class photo (eldest is y7). I think it is lovely being able to look back and see your class. I still have mine from secondary, which I left 30 years ago.
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 12th Jun 17, 6:46 PM
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    PasturesNew
    I'm basically saying 'I don't like this picture of you', which feels a bit cold and unkind! Perhaps I'm overthinking it.
    Originally posted by sulkisu
    Not every child is lovable.... or adorable .... and even those few that might be, they might not be liked by the camera, or liked that day, or in that light, or from that angle ... or in that uniform putting on a false smile when some strange looking man says "CHEESE".

    In your mind's eye you have a version of how your child looks - and if a photo doesn't show them like that then of course you won't like it.

    Bad parents are those who don't ever say "NO.... don't like that".
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