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  • FIRST POST
    • fabforty
    • By fabforty 11th Jun 17, 6:32 PM
    • 715Posts
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    fabforty
    Do you expect your kids to ask for food....
    • #1
    • 11th Jun 17, 6:32 PM
    Do you expect your kids to ask for food.... 11th Jun 17 at 6:32 PM
    I had an interesting conversation with a couple of other mums on a play date last week, so I really just wanted to gauge opinions.
    DS is 6, and normal height and weight for his age. At his age, I expect him to ask first if he wants something to eat, even healthy foods such as fruit or raisins. The answer is usually 'yes' (although by no means always) but I don't want him to just graze and snack whenever the mood takes him. I also want to know what he has eaten. Last week during a play date, he asked if he could have an apple - his friends' mum was really taken aback by the idea that a child has to ask for food in his own home! As long as it isn't sweets or chocolate then her son (who is also an average height and weight) is free to help himself to things like cereal, bread and fruit. It left me feeling pretty draconian I just wondered what other parents do?
    Last edited by fabforty; 11-06-2017 at 6:50 PM.
Page 3
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 13th Jun 17, 2:25 PM
    • 16,852 Posts
    • 25,671 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    I don't have children. When I was a child though it was very different. There wasn't extra food to just eat when anyone wanted, far less children.
    Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving . Albert Einstein.

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    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 13th Jun 17, 3:04 PM
    • 1,027 Posts
    • 1,036 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    My child is nearly eleven and I expect to be asked just so he doesn't get into the habit of grabbing food whenever or spoiling appetite before dinner. Most times I say yes anyway but if a child can grab food at will some would constantly be snacking.
    • AndyPix
    • By AndyPix 13th Jun 17, 3:11 PM
    • 2,407 Posts
    • 1,587 Thanks
    AndyPix
    I insist my 6 year old daughter asks first rather than just taking stuff out of the cupboard fridge ..


    Partly so she doesnt go mad on sweet stuff etc, but mainly because its good manners to do so ..


    I would have thought that was standard and am surprised to hear some kids are given a "free roam"
    Running with scissors since 1978
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 13th Jun 17, 3:12 PM
    • 27,810 Posts
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    Mojisola
    This question brings anxieties for me as I remember this like yesterday in my own childhood. Food and even drink was used as control in our house and it gave life time issues to me and my siblings
    Originally posted by ska lover
    Using access to food and drink as a power trip and as a means of control over children is a very different thing to what most people are discussing.

    As I said earlier, in our house it was more "Is it okay to have x" (in case it was needed for something else) rather than "Am I allowed x".
    • ringo_24601
    • By ringo_24601 13th Jun 17, 3:20 PM
    • 16,768 Posts
    • 27,218 Thanks
    ringo_24601
    My kids will ask "please can I have a snack" and we'll then discuss what they can have. They can't just help themselves.

    Our cupboards are far too high for them to reach too!
    • pollyanna24
    • By pollyanna24 13th Jun 17, 3:24 PM
    • 3,645 Posts
    • 4,316 Thanks
    pollyanna24
    My children (8 and 6) always ask too. The answer is more often than not, yes, but I like to know what's in the house and make sure they don't eat stuff that is meant for their lunchboxes.

    A few months ago, they annoyed me when I found an empty box of Pringles in the garden. I asked them about it and they said they "forgot" to ask me.

    Even when I go to Mum's now, I ask if I can have something. They've never said no, but I ask just so they know I've eaten it as it's annoying looking forward to your evening snack (or whatever) only to find it eaten and the shops shut!
    Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
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    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 13th Jun 17, 4:54 PM
    • 2,403 Posts
    • 5,915 Thanks
    ska lover
    Using access to food and drink as a power trip and as a means of control over children is a very different thing to what most people are discussing.

    As I said earlier, in our house it was more "Is it okay to have x" (in case it was needed for something else) rather than "Am I allowed x".
    Originally posted by Mojisola


    I never said it was the same, it's unhealthy - I am not sure why you are reiterating your earlier post, I wasn't aiming anything at you (or anyone else)...I was just telling my own experience. I apologise that my experience is different to yours - it sounds your way is far more healthy
    Last edited by ska lover; 13-06-2017 at 5:16 PM.
    Blah blah blah.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 13th Jun 17, 5:42 PM
    • 27,810 Posts
    • 70,637 Thanks
    Mojisola
    I never said it was the same, it's unhealthy - I am not sure why you are reiterating your earlier post, I wasn't aiming anything at you (or anyone else)...I was just telling my own experience. I apologise that my experience is different to yours - it sounds your way is far more healthy
    Originally posted by ska lover
    I don't see why you feel any need to apologise - like most things, there's a wide spectrum from the very controlling method like your parents used to a total take-what-you-want that other parents allow.
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