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  • FIRST POST
    • dipsy
    • By dipsy 1st Jun 17, 2:22 PM
    • 2,987Posts
    • 9,671Thanks
    dipsy
    Neighbour
    • #1
    • 1st Jun 17, 2:22 PM
    Neighbour 1st Jun 17 at 2:22 PM
    Hi

    not sure what forum to put this in, so my apologies if it is in the wrong forum

    I need to get a fence sorted that is falling to bits, it belongs to my neighbour, but I have got the side with the bracing bits of wood on (this is not an issue)

    My neighbour is a very difficult man and is often swearing in the street and is quite scary.

    I need to compose a letter that is not offensive/upsetting etc in order to try and get the fence sorted - damaged mostly by ivy :-(

    I have a dog and it won't be long before he gets through the fence and into his very nice garden so I want to get it sorted asap

    I am happy to pay half the cost of the panels, at a push the whole amount, but the way the plants and ivy are coming over the fence at the moment I wouldn't even manage to get the panels out.

    Any ideas on being tactful and inoffensive?

    thanks
    2007 £1749
    2008 £291.99
    2009 JanMasscara £7.00 Feb megcabot books x 2 £20 XFactor tkts x 2 £58.00 (couldn't go though as they only phoned on day :-( ) foundation £7.99
    total so far for 09 £92.99
Page 1
    • pimento
    • By pimento 1st Jun 17, 2:55 PM
    • 5,139 Posts
    • 6,676 Thanks
    pimento
    • #2
    • 1st Jun 17, 2:55 PM
    • #2
    • 1st Jun 17, 2:55 PM
    Don't write, knock at the door, take a deep breath, smile and say that you'd like to ask for his help in stopping your dog from escaping.

    You're quite entitled to put your own fence up inside your own boundary so if he is being awkward just do that..
    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair
    • melanzana
    • By melanzana 1st Jun 17, 3:17 PM
    • 2,301 Posts
    • 6,490 Thanks
    melanzana
    • #3
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:17 PM
    • #3
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:17 PM
    Forget the bullies. Don't write anything. Just do your own side and have nothing to do with difficult neighbour.

    As long as the new fence is within your boundary you will be fine.

    Saves time, stress and you get what you need. Best of luck.

    Not much money saved involving him really, and you get what you want.

    You can pull down the ivy on your side anyway to do the works.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 1st Jun 17, 3:20 PM
    • 27,599 Posts
    • 70,089 Thanks
    Mojisola
    • #4
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:20 PM
    • #4
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:20 PM
    I need to get a fence sorted that is falling to bits, it belongs to my neighbour

    I have a dog and it won't be long before he gets through the fence
    Originally posted by dipsy
    Your neighbour has no need to replace the fence.

    You are the one who needs the fence to keep your dog in your garden. It doesn't have to be anything fancy but you'll have to pay for it, whatever you chose.

    If you stagger the posts and fit them up tight against the old fence, you'll only lose a couple of inches off your garden.
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 1st Jun 17, 3:31 PM
    • 13,943 Posts
    • 13,445 Thanks
    Guest101
    • #5
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:31 PM
    • #5
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:31 PM
    Hi

    not sure what forum to put this in, so my apologies if it is in the wrong forum - Housing would be better

    I need to get a fence sorted that is falling to bits, it belongs to my neighbour, but I have got the side with the bracing bits of wood on (this is not an issue) - So you cant do anything to it.

    My neighbour is a very difficult man and is often swearing in the street and is quite scary.

    I need to compose a letter that is not offensive/upsetting etc in order to try and get the fence sorted - damaged mostly by ivy :-( -why?

    I have a dog and it won't be long before he gets through the fence and into his very nice garden so I want to get it sorted asap - so put up a fence

    I am happy to pay half the cost of the panels, at a push the whole amount, but the way the plants and ivy are coming over the fence at the moment I wouldn't even manage to get the panels out. - so just put up your own fence, on your land

    Any ideas on being tactful and inoffensive?

    thanks
    Originally posted by dipsy


    There is no requirement to have a fence, if you want one, put it up
    • dipsy
    • By dipsy 1st Jun 17, 3:52 PM
    • 2,987 Posts
    • 9,671 Thanks
    dipsy
    • #6
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:52 PM
    • #6
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:52 PM
    Your neighbour has no need to replace the fence.

    You are the one who needs the fence to keep your dog in your garden. It doesn't have to be anything fancy but you'll have to pay for it, whatever you chose.

    If you stagger the posts and fit them up tight against the old fence, you'll only lose a couple of inches off your garden.
    Originally posted by Mojisola
    The fence is the ones with the stone pillars that you slide the fence in, that is why I just wanted to replace them as obviously I would slide the panel out - If I could - but overgrown with bushes/ivy etc

    I don't actually need the fence, my dog will just go in his garden if the fence falls down, but he can't escape -

    so if I put another fence up with pillars I would lose quite a lot of garden i.e a boarder- and that would cost about 1k, my fence on the other side was over £600 8 years ago - when actually all it needs is 5 panels

    2007 £1749
    2008 £291.99
    2009 JanMasscara £7.00 Feb megcabot books x 2 £20 XFactor tkts x 2 £58.00 (couldn't go though as they only phoned on day :-( ) foundation £7.99
    total so far for 09 £92.99
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 1st Jun 17, 3:54 PM
    • 13,943 Posts
    • 13,445 Thanks
    Guest101
    • #7
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:54 PM
    • #7
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:54 PM
    The fence is the ones with the stone pillars that you slide the fence in, that is why I just wanted to replace them as obviously I would slide the panel out - If I could - but overgrown with bushes/ivy etc

    I don't actually need the fence, my dog will just go in his garden if the fence falls down, but he can't escape - But then you would face a bill for damages?

    so if I put another fence up with pillars I would lose quite a lot of garden i.e a boarder- and that would cost about 1k, my fence on the other side was over £600 8 years ago - when actually all it needs is 5 panels - but it's not your fence.

    Originally posted by dipsy
    It's no different to me wanting a new car and asking you if I can use your tyres.


    It's up to you, if your dog escapes your garden and bites someone, you know what will happen.
    • dipsy
    • By dipsy 1st Jun 17, 3:57 PM
    • 2,987 Posts
    • 9,671 Thanks
    dipsy
    • #8
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:57 PM
    • #8
    • 1st Jun 17, 3:57 PM
    Forget the bullies. Don't write anything. Just do your own side and have nothing to do with difficult neighbour.

    As long as the new fence is within your boundary you will be fine.

    Saves time, stress and you get what you need. Best of luck.

    Not much money saved involving him really, and you get what you want.

    You can pull down the ivy on your side anyway to do the works.
    Originally posted by melanzana
    Think I will just write and say didn't want to disturb him as he works shifts, and just ask him if he has any objections to be replacing some panels as they are falling apart.

    However, and not keen on mentioning it, he will need to trim his bushes back to enable us to get the panels out.

    I quite clearly don't want to upset him at all, nor remove panels /replace without his permission
    2007 £1749
    2008 £291.99
    2009 JanMasscara £7.00 Feb megcabot books x 2 £20 XFactor tkts x 2 £58.00 (couldn't go though as they only phoned on day :-( ) foundation £7.99
    total so far for 09 £92.99
    • Cash-Cows
    • By Cash-Cows 1st Jun 17, 4:38 PM
    • 146 Posts
    • 107 Thanks
    Cash-Cows
    • #9
    • 1st Jun 17, 4:38 PM
    • #9
    • 1st Jun 17, 4:38 PM
    Don't write a letter. Even the best written letters will probably result in your neighbour getting the wrong end of the stick. Tea and cake is the answer to your problem and lots of it. You might find out the neighbour isn't scary at all.
    • balletshoes
    • By balletshoes 1st Jun 17, 4:39 PM
    • 15,726 Posts
    • 40,104 Thanks
    balletshoes
    Think I will just write and say didn't want to disturb him as he works shifts, and just ask him if he has any objections to be replacing some panels as they are falling apart.

    However, and not keen on mentioning it, he will need to trim his bushes back to enable us to get the panels out.

    I quite clearly don't want to upset him at all, nor remove panels /replace without his permission
    Originally posted by dipsy
    what if he doesn't have the inclination to do that?
    • jackomdj
    • By jackomdj 1st Jun 17, 7:53 PM
    • 2,780 Posts
    • 3,463 Thanks
    jackomdj
    Talk to him. But word it better. If it was me I would say something along the lines of "I have noticed your fence is starting to rot and I am worried that the dog may get into your garden and damage it. If you are happy for me to do so I will arrange for replacement panels. If you are happy with that do you want to trim the bits of the bush at (wherever) so I don't damage them".

    You are now being seen as positive and kind.
    • dipsy
    • By dipsy 11th Jun 17, 7:37 PM
    • 2,987 Posts
    • 9,671 Thanks
    dipsy
    Well, the felt off his shed blew into our garden

    So I wrote to say we had it, didn't want to throw over fence nor bin as didn't want to upset him/ or dispose of it without his knowledge

    But if he would like it if he could he let me know so I could return

    Also mentioned fence said that he probably was unaware and we were willing to assist but would appreciate his input

    Also mentioned the cctv that was going up and to let us know if he had any concerns.

    2 days later, last night, he knocked on door asking if he could recover his felt.

    Then asked to look at fence

    Spoke re cctv

    Anyway today he has striped back ivy replaced one panel and was chatty

    I said I had access to a van if we could help pick up panels

    All in all great result and I definitely think the letter was the best approach as he has previously been difficult but he was actually very pleasant
    2007 £1749
    2008 £291.99
    2009 JanMasscara £7.00 Feb megcabot books x 2 £20 XFactor tkts x 2 £58.00 (couldn't go though as they only phoned on day :-( ) foundation £7.99
    total so far for 09 £92.99
    • parking_question_chap
    • By parking_question_chap 11th Jun 17, 7:51 PM
    • 1,243 Posts
    • 996 Thanks
    parking_question_chap
    Nice one, good to hear it was a positive result.
    • dipsy
    • By dipsy 12th Jun 17, 10:26 AM
    • 2,987 Posts
    • 9,671 Thanks
    dipsy
    Nice one, good to hear it was a positive result.
    Originally posted by parking_question_chap
    was very pleasantly surprised, hopefully this will be the start of better relations, not saying we will ever be having a BBQ together but rubbing along with no issues is a definite plus

    thanks for all of your suggestions
    2007 £1749
    2008 £291.99
    2009 JanMasscara £7.00 Feb megcabot books x 2 £20 XFactor tkts x 2 £58.00 (couldn't go though as they only phoned on day :-( ) foundation £7.99
    total so far for 09 £92.99
    • Fosterdog
    • By Fosterdog 12th Jun 17, 10:36 AM
    • 2,917 Posts
    • 5,025 Thanks
    Fosterdog
    Maybe now is the time to knock and offer him cake? He's obviously not as bad as you thought he was and a nice gesture like that will help with any future communication you need to have with him
    • dipsy
    • By dipsy 12th Jun 17, 11:18 AM
    • 2,987 Posts
    • 9,671 Thanks
    dipsy
    Maybe now is the time to knock and offer him cake? He's obviously not as bad as you thought he was and a nice gesture like that will help with any future communication you need to have with him
    Originally posted by Fosterdog
    Not sure what the fascination is about cake and tea lol

    I won't be nipping around with cake - may offer him some gardening products in lieu :-)
    2007 £1749
    2008 £291.99
    2009 JanMasscara £7.00 Feb megcabot books x 2 £20 XFactor tkts x 2 £58.00 (couldn't go though as they only phoned on day :-( ) foundation £7.99
    total so far for 09 £92.99
    • Coinmachine
    • By Coinmachine 12th Jun 17, 1:08 PM
    • 203 Posts
    • 370 Thanks
    Coinmachine
    As an alternative to cake how about some chocolate bourbon biscuits?
    I'm a greenfield sight for sore eyes, and sore eyes are just needing the light, the shapes, and the shadows of the space we share, before it splits into Thin Air.
    • Fosterdog
    • By Fosterdog 12th Jun 17, 1:57 PM
    • 2,917 Posts
    • 5,025 Thanks
    Fosterdog
    Not sure what the fascination is about cake and tea lol

    I won't be nipping around with cake - may offer him some gardening products in lieu :-)
    Originally posted by dipsy
    It's just a friendly gesture. No more, no less.
    • dipsy
    • By dipsy 12th Jun 17, 2:06 PM
    • 2,987 Posts
    • 9,671 Thanks
    dipsy
    I think he may appreciate the garden products, (I work for a gardening company), he loves his garden

    I have also arrange to collect the panels needed and a spare green bin for him, totally in awe of the fact he was so obliging and will do all I can to keep relationships good going forward.
    2007 £1749
    2008 £291.99
    2009 JanMasscara £7.00 Feb megcabot books x 2 £20 XFactor tkts x 2 £58.00 (couldn't go though as they only phoned on day :-( ) foundation £7.99
    total so far for 09 £92.99
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