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  • FIRST POST
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 10:00 AM
    • 91Posts
    • 10Thanks
    JPB156
    We can't afford to live together and have children
    • #1
    • 19th May 17, 10:00 AM
    We can't afford to live together and have children 19th May 17 at 10:00 AM
    Hi have just joined the forum because me and my girlfriend are feeling so low in our situation.

    I am 35 and she is 30 and we have been together for 11 years, we are living with our parents and have been saving for a house, we earn about 34000 between us and have about 2300 a month after tax. We have found a house we both love but house prices are now so stupidly high, it's 190000 and we have a 40000 deposit. We can get a mortgage but we are worried about affording it in the future if interest rates rise, we feel we will be fine for a while but if we are paying anything above 10% we won't be able to do it and how can we put faith in it not going to that rate in the next 30 years.

    We want children and feel time isn't on our side there but if we have one then any savings we have would go on childcare so how would we pay for anything such as a car when ours has given up on us. A cheaper house is an option but there is so little choice in this area and feel if we wait much longer we will be priced out even more, rental prices are just as bad and keep going up aswell and then how do we pay rent after retirement. there is not much prospect of us earning more in the future.

    We just feel so trapped and that we will not only be unable to ever live together but also that means never having children. We feel so low and I've never felt worse, our relationship is so strong but I really feel scared for us and not being able to give her what she wants and deserves.

    Sorry for the long post
Page 5
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 12:55 PM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    Yes what it's asking for trouble or it's a normal ratio?
    • meer53
    • By meer53 19th May 17, 1:01 PM
    • 8,772 Posts
    • 12,743 Thanks
    meer53
    I don't understand why I would even be posting if I was making excuses and didn't actually want it to happen, if that was the case where would my problem be
    Originally posted by JPB156
    You're problem is you're looking for answers to questions that only you can answer. Move in with your partner, get on with your life instead of wittering about what ifs. Your partners age and your low count mean you need to do something now, not wait until you can afford the house of your dreams, babies tend not to care much about where they live.
    • Anoneemoose
    • By Anoneemoose 19th May 17, 1:08 PM
    • 1,705 Posts
    • 2,094 Thanks
    Anoneemoose
    There are no guarantees in life. None. I had to give up work due to chronic illness, leaving us a (albeit part time) salary down. We manage very well.

    I had my son young and his dad was work shy. We managed.

    My Aunty and Uncle put off my uncle going to uni to get a new career, he eventually did and he was murdered 2 months before graduation. She now lives in her fully paid for house (life insurance), but I know she'd give anything to have him back and be living in a tent.

    No one can tell you what will happen in the future, and unless you're filthy rich, anything could happen - but isn't that part of the fun of life? Taking calculated 'risks'?

    Just get on with it!
    Last edited by Anoneemoose; 19-05-2017 at 1:19 PM.
    • avogadro
    • By avogadro 19th May 17, 1:17 PM
    • 3,027 Posts
    • 4,990 Thanks
    avogadro
    JPB156 there is a housing board on here which would be better able to deal with your specific query regarding affordability of mortgage on your income.

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=16

    You have posted your question on the marriages and relationships board, resulting in people starting to pry into other matters.
    Last edited by avogadro; 19-05-2017 at 1:18 PM. Reason: adding link
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 1:19 PM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    Some People are posting that we don't know what it's like and I sound like a teenager, I don't feel that but one thing I'm scared of is that we are being naive thinking that we could do it. With interest rates so low we feel we have to give ourselves a massive cushion for if they go up
    • jackieblack
    • By jackieblack 19th May 17, 1:25 PM
    • 7,007 Posts
    • 9,086 Thanks
    jackieblack
    Some People are posting that we don't know what it's like and I sound like a teenager, I don't feel that but one thing I'm scared of is that we are being naive thinking that we could do it. With interest rates so low we feel we have to give ourselves a massive cushion for if they go up
    Originally posted by JPB156
    That is what the lenders affordability test is supposed to check.
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    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 1:29 PM
    • 91 Posts
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    JPB156
    They didn't go very deeply into what we have to spend a month though, never asked for bank statements. I read they only check up to about 6-7%?
    • Penitent
    • By Penitent 19th May 17, 1:33 PM
    • 1,274 Posts
    • 3,761 Thanks
    Penitent
    None of this was my original reason for posting, maybe I should have left my personal current feelings about our position out of it but that was the reason I turned to a forum. Basically I was asking advice on if 150000 mortgage on our salary was asking for trouble or a normal ratio, from a couple with no experience of Bill prices and not much scope to earn more. No one has really answered that
    Originally posted by JPB156
    Then you should probably ask on the Mortgages forum (where people respond to mortgage situations), rather than the Relationships forum (where people respond to relationship situations). Your choice of sub-forum implied you wanted advice on your relationship.

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=15
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 19th May 17, 1:35 PM
    • 14,481 Posts
    • 14,181 Thanks
    Guest101
    They didn't go very deeply into what we have to spend a month though, never asked for bank statements. I read they only check up to about 6-7%?
    Originally posted by JPB156
    What you currently spend isn't relevant in anyway though.

    They check in all cases, subsequent credit checks are at a lower rate.

    What have you got, an AIP?
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 1:35 PM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    They put an example on the mortgage info that they can go up to anything and used the example of the highest in the last 20 years and it would put it up to 1400. That's just stuck in my head as we would never afford that
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 1:37 PM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    We did have an aip then did a full application for the amount when we saw this house and that's when we looked at monthly costs of mortgage
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 19th May 17, 1:40 PM
    • 14,481 Posts
    • 14,181 Thanks
    Guest101
    They put an example on the mortgage info that they can go up to anything and used the example of the highest in the last 20 years and it would put it up to 1400. That's just stuck in my head as we would never afford that
    Originally posted by JPB156
    So you don't have a mortgage offer at all. Have you checked your credit?
    • burnsguitarman
    • By burnsguitarman 19th May 17, 1:41 PM
    • 711 Posts
    • 425 Thanks
    burnsguitarman
    For Gods sake......Grow a pair! This thread is painful, one excuse after another. The 190k house has probably gone now, and the next one might be 200k.
    Either take the plunge and get on with it, or be prepared to stay at home with Mummy and Daddy for the foreseeable!
    Your girlfriend might find your reluctance, as a sign you're not really serious.
    Good Luck
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 1:41 PM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    Yea we have an offer have had credit checked just haven't gone any further yet
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 19th May 17, 1:42 PM
    • 14,481 Posts
    • 14,181 Thanks
    Guest101
    We did have an aip then did a full application for the amount when we saw this house and that's when we looked at monthly costs of mortgage
    Originally posted by JPB156
    To do a full application they do a full breakdown of costs and credit checks etc.

    I still don't understand this. I got dragged back in.

    Have you even viewed the house??
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 1:42 PM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    I'm trying to establish the difference of it being brave or stupid guitar man
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 1:43 PM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    Yes viewed it done application and passed credit check now just waiting on us to put offer in and if accepted arrange survey
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 19th May 17, 1:45 PM
    • 14,481 Posts
    • 14,181 Thanks
    Guest101
    Yes viewed it done application and passed credit check now just waiting on us to put offer in and if accepted arrange survey
    Originally posted by JPB156

    Are you in Scotland?
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 1:45 PM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    No England why is it normal?
    • burnsguitarman
    • By burnsguitarman 19th May 17, 1:47 PM
    • 711 Posts
    • 425 Thanks
    burnsguitarman
    You're NOT stupid, just over cautious, worrying about things that may never happen, and if they did there would be ways round.
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