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    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 10:00 AM
    • 91Posts
    • 10Thanks
    JPB156
    We can't afford to live together and have children
    • #1
    • 19th May 17, 10:00 AM
    We can't afford to live together and have children 19th May 17 at 10:00 AM
    Hi have just joined the forum because me and my girlfriend are feeling so low in our situation.

    I am 35 and she is 30 and we have been together for 11 years, we are living with our parents and have been saving for a house, we earn about 34000 between us and have about 2300 a month after tax. We have found a house we both love but house prices are now so stupidly high, it's 190000 and we have a 40000 deposit. We can get a mortgage but we are worried about affording it in the future if interest rates rise, we feel we will be fine for a while but if we are paying anything above 10% we won't be able to do it and how can we put faith in it not going to that rate in the next 30 years.

    We want children and feel time isn't on our side there but if we have one then any savings we have would go on childcare so how would we pay for anything such as a car when ours has given up on us. A cheaper house is an option but there is so little choice in this area and feel if we wait much longer we will be priced out even more, rental prices are just as bad and keep going up aswell and then how do we pay rent after retirement. there is not much prospect of us earning more in the future.

    We just feel so trapped and that we will not only be unable to ever live together but also that means never having children. We feel so low and I've never felt worse, our relationship is so strong but I really feel scared for us and not being able to give her what she wants and deserves.

    Sorry for the long post
Page 1
    • tykesi
    • By tykesi 19th May 17, 10:05 AM
    • 1,685 Posts
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    tykesi
    • #2
    • 19th May 17, 10:05 AM
    • #2
    • 19th May 17, 10:05 AM
    we earn about 34000 between us and have about 2300 a month after tax.

    We can get a mortgage but we are worried about affording it in the future if interest rates rise, we feel we will be fine for a while but if we are paying anything above 10% we won't be able to do it and how can we put faith in it not going to that rate in the next 30 years
    Originally posted by JPB156
    So you don't intend to advance in your careers in the next 30 years most likely leading to increased income and ability to deal with itnerest rate rises?

    Are there no better paid jobs you could apply for to try and increase your income?
    £2017 in 2017 - £3238.42
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 10:10 AM
    • 91 Posts
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    JPB156
    • #3
    • 19th May 17, 10:10 AM
    • #3
    • 19th May 17, 10:10 AM
    We would love to but the options aren't there, I'm a team leader and management barely get more than me, she works in a bank and has been trying for years to move up and the opportunity just isn't there, as they are making cutbacks more than anything.
    We may be able to earn more but there is no guarantee so how can we just rest on that. We are trying to be sensible and maybe I'm a bit over cautious but 150000 mortgage on 34000 salary sounds too far.
    • Rosemary7391
    • By Rosemary7391 19th May 17, 10:19 AM
    • 1,726 Posts
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    Rosemary7391
    • #4
    • 19th May 17, 10:19 AM
    • #4
    • 19th May 17, 10:19 AM
    If you could afford it at a 10% interest rate, and can get a lower one now, why not overpay at the 10% interest level? You'll pay it off much more quickly, and the reducing balance will reduce the impact of possible future rate rises. Sooner you start paying off a mortgage the sooner you'll be finished
    Me escondo detras de mi lengua... tengo miedo de que me entiendas... pero me gustara que me entendases ¡Ayudame!
    • IAmWales
    • By IAmWales 19th May 17, 10:22 AM
    • 933 Posts
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    IAmWales
    • #5
    • 19th May 17, 10:22 AM
    • #5
    • 19th May 17, 10:22 AM
    If your partner is only 30 she has many child bearing years ahead of her, it's not unusual to have children into your early 40s.

    Think more long term - there's nothing stopping you moving jobs and/ or gaining more skills. There's no urgency in buying a house right now, nor do you need to have children imminently. Set yourself a five year plan (increasing income) and then you can think about children.
    • Pa Ja
    • By Pa Ja 19th May 17, 10:23 AM
    • 66 Posts
    • 42 Thanks
    Pa Ja
    • #6
    • 19th May 17, 10:23 AM
    • #6
    • 19th May 17, 10:23 AM
    You have to reign in your expectations when comparing income to property.. Is ownership that important to you?
    If so, you are going to have to sacrifice on location or house size. Discuss with your partner. That's a great deposit you have, continue to build on it.
    I don't mean to sound patronizing but, life is tough. If your ambitions are to have the nice house, run a car (Maybe 2) and kids, etc... You're going to have to increase your income.

    Good luck and like I said, reign in your expectations and prepare to compromise.
    • IAmWales
    • By IAmWales 19th May 17, 10:25 AM
    • 933 Posts
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    IAmWales
    • #7
    • 19th May 17, 10:25 AM
    • #7
    • 19th May 17, 10:25 AM
    If you could afford it at a 10% interest rate, and can get a lower one now, why not overpay at the 10% interest level? You'll pay it off much more quickly, and the reducing balance will reduce the impact of possible future rate rises. Sooner you start paying off a mortgage the sooner you'll be finished
    Originally posted by Rosemary7391
    They're going to need to build up some savings before overpaying if the missus is going to be taking maternity leave.
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 10:25 AM
    • 91 Posts
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    JPB156
    • #8
    • 19th May 17, 10:25 AM
    • #8
    • 19th May 17, 10:25 AM
    We can get it fixed for 5 years and then overpay upto 10% a year, we have worked out we can afford to do that as it would be 710 a month, it's after calculating what it would be after that that makes us feel we could we afford it to go to 10% rate after the 5 years
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 19th May 17, 10:28 AM
    • 3,072 Posts
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    onomatopoeia99
    • #9
    • 19th May 17, 10:28 AM
    • #9
    • 19th May 17, 10:28 AM
    When I was 30 I took out a 120,000 mortgage on a 30,000 salary, but as a single person so only one tax allowance and the base rate was around 7%, not 0.25%. It was a bit of a struggle, but I managed OK. It helped that my parents gave me their 17 year old Volvo 340 rather than trading it in when they wanted a newer car (they would have got about £500 for it) after my car got written off, which got me out of a hole and I used it for a couple of years.

    Are you both working full time? £17,000 each sounds very low given your ages (national average is £28,000 according to "More or less" last week).
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    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 10:30 AM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    We have savings for childcare but then for nothing else.

    We feel we have to buy as if we rent forever we won't afford rent after retirement.

    We are fine with compromising we are not big spenders but there is only so far you can stretch it.

    Have looked at changing career but everything that pays more seems to want you to be experienced in something.

    If prices continue to rise and interest rates go up we won't get a mortgage on affordability so feel rushed
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 10:33 AM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    Yes both full time just both on not much above minimum wage and as I say not had opportunity to move up in our careers
    • fairy lights
    • By fairy lights 19th May 17, 10:36 AM
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    fairy lights
    Is moving to a cheaper area an option? Have you looked in to shared ownership? Or, if you buy a house with a spare room, getting a lodger?
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 10:39 AM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    If we move we will be paying more for travel, we both live and work in same town. Shared ownership properties were something we were considering a few years back but never see any available around here
    • Pa Ja
    • By Pa Ja 19th May 17, 10:40 AM
    • 66 Posts
    • 42 Thanks
    Pa Ja
    What do you mean , you have savings for childcare?

    Given your partners income, she maybe better off as a stay at home mum rather than paying for someone else to watch your child.
    Why not look at properties around 80k-120k.
    Take your mortgage out over a longer term of 30-35 yrs and reduce your payments to around £350 a month.
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 19th May 17, 10:44 AM
    • 1,026 Posts
    • 1,033 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    Firstly you have done amazing to save up such a good deposit! That takes some commitment and you are doing it the right way, not moving before you are ready or getting into debt.
    I do feel for you. Housing is so expensive. Could you find a cheaper place? Somewhere in a cheaper area or something that needs as bit of doing up? Alternatively could you rent? Keep the deposit squirreled away and in the future it will be waiting for you once your income improves. I am job hunting and not getting anywhere fast so I totally understand its not as easy as just earning more money. Have you explored shared ownership or social housing? Renting from a housing association should be cheaper than private rent and more secure. You could do that for a while? One other point. Don't feel the pressure to buy. Renting doesn't mean you have failed. Not owning a house doesn't make you less successful. I'm renting and get comments like this from my patents! You are 'throwing your money away' or ' paying someone else's mortgage'. Long term buying is good but do what is right for you now. Having a mortgage that is so huge you can't then afford to have a child or never get to go out would just be another kind of stress. There is more than 1 way to sort your housing situation and it might take several steps and combinations along the way. Good luck.
    • JPB156
    • By JPB156 19th May 17, 10:45 AM
    • 91 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    JPB156
    We have some left after the deposit but if we were unable to save that would also have to cover any extra expenses for things going wrong over the course of the mortgage. The only properties around 100000 mark need renovating and the mortgage term we looked at is already at maximum 32 years as they want it to be paid before retirement
    • p00hsticks
    • By p00hsticks 19th May 17, 10:46 AM
    • 5,478 Posts
    • 5,020 Thanks
    p00hsticks
    I am 35 and she is 30 and we have been together for 11 years, we are living with our parents
    Originally posted by JPB156
    Can you clarify - are you each individually living separately with your respective parents, or are you both living together with one or other set of parents ?

    To me, your posts come across as someone who seems to be looking for one reason or another not to progress the relationship .....
    • jackieblack
    • By jackieblack 19th May 17, 10:47 AM
    • 6,999 Posts
    • 9,073 Thanks
    jackieblack
    If your partner is only 30 she has many child bearing years ahead of her, it's not unusual to have children into your early 40s.
    Originally posted by IAmWales
    Wow... sweeping generalisation much??
    That's a very cavalier attitude.


    It might be more common now for women to put off having children until their late 30s/40s for financial/career reasons, but it's by no reason a certainty that they will be able to (and yes, I know it's not a certainty at any age but fertility starts to decline more rapidly after 35)


    http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Fertility/Pages/Protectyourfertility.aspx


    OP
    If we all waited until the future were guaranteed, no-one would ever do anything.
    The affordability test that lenders are obliged to carry out assumes a rate increase to (IIRC) 7%.
    Lots of things might happen over the course of a 25 year mortgage and raising a family - somehow most people manage to find a way.
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    • laidbackgjr
    • By laidbackgjr 19th May 17, 10:49 AM
    • 440 Posts
    • 1,132 Thanks
    laidbackgjr
    Also bear in mind that if interest rates rise to 10% - then rents will rise as well - so whether you are paying a mortgage or renting (paying someone else's mortgage) you are likely to see similar effects if interest rates rise. So whilst it's good to consider the challenges in that environment - it's very difficult to escape the impacts.
    • Malthusian
    • By Malthusian 19th May 17, 10:50 AM
    • 2,386 Posts
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    Malthusian
    Shared ownership properties were something we were considering a few years back but never see any available around here
    Originally posted by JPB156
    Lucky you, you've dodged a bullet. Shared ownership houses are a millstone because you are at the mercy of increases in service charges and ground rent and many mortgage lenders won't touch it. Either rent or buy but don't be a politician's project.

    If you love the house then buy it. You don't know what will happen in the future. You have plenty of time left to think about children and there is plenty of scope for your income to increase.

    Your parents have helped you out by letting you live with them rent-free - would they not be similarly helpful with childcare?
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