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  • FIRST POST
    • Jamiles
    • By Jamiles 19th May 17, 12:56 AM
    • 2Posts
    • 1Thanks
    Jamiles
    Problem Neighbours
    • #1
    • 19th May 17, 12:56 AM
    Problem Neighbours 19th May 17 at 12:56 AM
    We have had a new tenant move in to the upstairs maisonette and she is ruining my life!! Most things that she has done may sound petty and ordinarily I would let these slide but her rudeness and attitude intrying to resolve these issues had led me to despair 😩
    Day 1. They move in having been on great terms with our previous neighbours my partner offers to cut their lawn as a moving in gift.
    Since then she had knocked on our door several times regarding the bins - we don't recycle because my partner can do this at work and no food waste due to a previous rodent problem but we obligingly gave her a leaflet of the recycling times.
    She knocked on our door at 11pm because she couldn't fit the bin through the two cars (one my partners van and one her daughters car) on the driveway - her daughter can't park the previous tenants had a large estate car and a baby to get in and out and coped fine, he moved his van into the smaller space and moved the car into a better position (reversed onto the drive).
    Previous to this her removal men had !!!!ed in the alley way to which she only has access rights and peeped through our windows.
    All of these would have need overlooked had she not used our side tap overnight without permission, moved HER to let sign to the side shoving it down the side of and scratching my partners van, knocked violently on our front door like a police raid damaging this as the lead has come away. I have met the woman on three times each when she knocked on the door, shouted at me on the doorstep and made me cry!
    Today she shouted at me blaming us for moving her cradvoard when it hadn't been collected in the whole road (I have photo evidence).
    I would normally really not care about these things (among others) but her attitude and intimidation of me on the doorstep is unacceptable.
    We have spoke to the estate agents who suggested a 'mediation' I feel it is past this, and also emailed the owners who have been very supportive.
    I'm not sure how to proceed - don't want to come across as moaney to the owner (note we own the freehold) but I don't want to let this slide as I fear she will continue to make life hell! Any advice very much appreciate?!
Page 1
    • Dimey
    • By Dimey 19th May 17, 1:14 AM
    • 1,338 Posts
    • 2,952 Thanks
    Dimey
    • #2
    • 19th May 17, 1:14 AM
    • #2
    • 19th May 17, 1:14 AM
    I have experience of neighbours who moved in 5 years ago and started bullying me. I kept thinking I must have been misinterpreting but as the months rolled in to years the intimidation got worse it turned into violent harassment. Now I daren't be seen by the neighbours for fear of being verbally or physically abused so I hardly ever leave the house. Avoiding them has certainly calmed them down as they have no one to target.

    I'm not saying this will happen to you but you might consider keeping your head down and not reacting for a while. Just smile as you pass and don't open the door. If the neighbour is verbally abusive, don't respond, stay quiet and go indoors.

    Lastly the police won't help if things get bad as they don't have to do anything if they class it as a neighbour dispute. The council can only help when it gets to the point of ASBO stuff and they'll only listen if you can supply a diary of incidents, ideally with CCTV, photographic or witness evidence. I'm not saying this last paragraph is definitive , just my experience in my area. No one official is going to help.

    Good luck. I hope it all calms down for you.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "Any more posts you want to make on something you obviously know very little about?"
    Is an actual reaction to my posts, so please don't rely on anything I say.
    • Jamiles
    • By Jamiles 19th May 17, 1:52 AM
    • 2 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Jamiles
    • #3
    • 19th May 17, 1:52 AM
    • #3
    • 19th May 17, 1:52 AM
    Thanks Dimey, I can't believe you have had to deal with neighbour that intimidate you to the point of making you stay indoors around the house for up to 5 years!
    That's the sort of thing that makes me concerned to let it all slide now in the early stages. Appreciate you're point about the police I did think it would be a bit fruitless and I don't want to waste their time but this is ruining my lady to day life!
    I wonder if I should get a solicitor involved for civil recourse?!
    Have been through the lease and am ready to point out all her breaches to both the landlord and the estate agents but I don't want to waste my money if it going to come to nothing!
    • G_M
    • By G_M 19th May 17, 4:39 AM
    • 40,610 Posts
    • 46,468 Thanks
    G_M
    • #4
    • 19th May 17, 4:39 AM
    • #4
    • 19th May 17, 4:39 AM
    There's probably little the landlord or his letting can do in the short term even if they want. A quiet word perhaps, but they have to be careful as tere are laws regarding harassment of tenants by landlords!

    In the longer term, and depending what kind of contract she has (6 months AST? 12 months?) the landlord could decide not to renew, and could evict. But this can take time/ money (courts), and of course every change of tenant costs the landlord money too.

    If the tenant breaches the tenancy agreement, the LL could evict earlier on ceetain grounds, but it would have to be pretty serious (eg criminal activity which means following a conviction).

    The council will get involved, either under antisocial behaviour or noise, but again this takes time and requires painstking evidence.

    Police also will get involved if a crime is commited. And bear in mind 'assault' is any action that puts you in fear of physical attack. No attach actually has to take place. so if you are threatened and genuinely feel fear, call the police and insist on it being recorded, with a crime number.

    As regular posters here will know, I'm a great believer in 'tea and cake' to resolve issues, and if you can manage to sit down and talk about your concerns (as well as listen to hers?) that is always the best way forward.

    Sadly with some people that does not work.

    Finally, do you own your maisonette, or rent it?
    • Davesnave
    • By Davesnave 19th May 17, 7:42 AM
    • 22,925 Posts
    • 88,082 Thanks
    Davesnave
    • #5
    • 19th May 17, 7:42 AM
    • #5
    • 19th May 17, 7:42 AM
    Bullying neighbours are always best dealt with firmly, but pleasantly. They seem to desire an overreaction, and there are signs in your post that yours may easily get get this from you.

    For example, if their removal men behaved badly, that's no fault of your neighbour, so why include it in your list of grievances? Isn't that rather like the cardboard incident, when the neighbour complained about something you'd not done?

    It appears this new neighbour is bold, brassy and maybe aggressive too, so follow GMs excellent advice above, because the police will act, usually through the PSCO in the first instance. They know that a word from them often defines the limits of behaviour when the recipient of the bullying can't make these clear, heading-off potential problems later. Contact the police directly after something serious has happened, not a long time later.

    It may also be worth adding CCTV overlooking your own doorway, if this is where intimidaton occurs. Someone who knows their actions might be recorded will be more careful regarding them. Just make sure the camera isn't pointing anywhere near your neighbour's property!
    Last edited by Davesnave; 19-05-2017 at 7:44 AM.
    'A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they'll never sit in.'
    • Davesnave
    • By Davesnave 19th May 17, 8:02 AM
    • 22,925 Posts
    • 88,082 Thanks
    Davesnave
    • #6
    • 19th May 17, 8:02 AM
    • #6
    • 19th May 17, 8:02 AM
    Your post:

    Lastly the police won't help if things get bad as they don't have to do anything if they class it as a neighbour dispute. .
    Originally posted by Dimey
    Your signature:

    "Any more posts you want to make on something you obviously know very little about?"

    Is an actual reaction to my posts, so please don't rely on anything I say.

    Well, if you make huge blanket statements about, say, the police, then it's no wonder you get a reaction like the above.

    Where I've lived, the police certainly do take an interest in matters like a neighbour banging on someone's door and shouting or threatening. I can recall incidents which have happened to me and to close friends/relatives, where the intervention of the police has helped greatly, even though no one has been charged with an offence.

    I know there are places in this country where the day to day situation is so bad that the police have to ration their time and tailor their responses accordingly, prioritising the most serious incidents, but most of us don't live in neighbourhoods like that, thank goodness.
    Last edited by Davesnave; 19-05-2017 at 8:38 AM. Reason: repetition....deviation
    'A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they'll never sit in.'
    • Norman Castle
    • By Norman Castle 19th May 17, 8:17 AM
    • 6,067 Posts
    • 4,833 Thanks
    Norman Castle
    • #7
    • 19th May 17, 8:17 AM
    • #7
    • 19th May 17, 8:17 AM
    As above cctv where needed would be ideal. I've got a similar neighbour although luckily not next door. She is very selfish, rude and aggressive to me and others, she is also thick. Whenever I'm dragged into a dispute with her rather than argue with her I get her to explain to herself why she is wrong. eg, With the uncollected cardboard ask her why no-one elses cardboard has been collected rather than tell her why.
    Don't be afraid of this woman. Treat her like an idiot because thats what she is.
    Don't harass a hippie. You'll get bad karma.
    • bouicca21
    • By bouicca21 19th May 17, 8:20 AM
    • 3,037 Posts
    • 3,723 Thanks
    bouicca21
    • #8
    • 19th May 17, 8:20 AM
    • #8
    • 19th May 17, 8:20 AM
    I get intensely irritated by a neighbour who blocks the drive. If I needed access at 11 p.m. I would have some, but not a lot of, hesitation about knocking on their door. Ditto 2 a.m. Or any other time. When asked nicely to move one of their cars during the day they do so without problem.

    The cardboard incident is trivial. You mention other incidents. But nothing here sounds like conduct 'ruining' your life. My neighbour is also perceived by me and others in the building as aggressive and a bully. I doubt he sees himself that way. I think he's actually rather lacking in self confidence and over compensates. By and large I just ignore him.

    If your neighbour gets on your nerves so much, bake a cake, take a deep breath and invite them in and explain why their behaviour upsets you. They can then tell you what about your behaviour upsets them. Or do what I do, ignore unless necessary to initiate contact.
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 19th May 17, 1:32 PM
    • 59,627 Posts
    • 348,391 Thanks
    PasturesNew
    • #9
    • 19th May 17, 1:32 PM
    • #9
    • 19th May 17, 1:32 PM
    Many people think they have rights that they don't have.
    Many people are paranoid and assume others are out to get them (these type end up being right as it's a self-fulfilling prophecy).

    Re the parking/bins.... how is it supposed to work? Why didn't she get her daughter to move her car? It might be that nobody's told her where to put the bins/how to get them out and it's different to what she's doing. My neighbours "do it all wrong"; I found this out when we all got a letter from the Council about bins etc and it had a little map on it of where they were supposed to be put.

    Was your van parked awkwardly? Was the daughter's car parked wrongly? Or were the bins being put out wrongly?

    It might be, say, that the official way to take the bins out is to drag them 4x the distance along a path and to leave them on the corner of the grass.... whereas she's assumed she takes the shortest route to the end of the parking spot.

    My neighbour "could" drag hers out of the gate and leave it near mine .... except she can't, she has to lug it past many other properties and round to the front of hers, because that's how her deeds/bin location are laid down in the official documents.
    Last edited by PasturesNew; 19-05-2017 at 1:35 PM.
    • IAmWales
    • By IAmWales 19th May 17, 2:42 PM
    • 1,000 Posts
    • 2,161 Thanks
    IAmWales
    PasturesNew makes a good point, has this woman been given incorrect information by the letting agent, or is she assuming things without checking?

    We have allocated parking, and as owners we have a plan and know which space is ours. However when new tenants arrive everything goes to pot because the agent tells them they can park where they want. Most are friendly when told they have one space only, others continue to park wherever until the agent is asked to intervene.

    I'd go for mediation. You need third party involvement because you're not comfortable to deal with this yourself, but equally it could be a series of misunderstandings.
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