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  • FIRST POST
    • deannatrois
    • By deannatrois 17th May 17, 8:19 PM
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    deannatrois
    All Gone Wrong - Housing offer.
    • #1
    • 17th May 17, 8:19 PM
    All Gone Wrong - Housing offer. 17th May 17 at 8:19 PM
    another update, sorry folks. Not as upbeat this time.

    I have two weeks to move in apparently and instead of a standard housing offer its actually a council property house swap. Deaf and dumb couple who need a two bed (they have a child) needs my place and I need a three bed.

    But in spite of promising four weeks notice from the formal offer, I have two weeks. They said, well you knew it was going to happen so you've had two weeks already (I was told would have four weeks after formal offer had been made, was told end of last week no formal offer had been made.., but letter was sent 12th May). And we are moving in and out of properties on same day. And they can't speak. And I haven't even viewed the property cause that needs to be negotiated so no idea what I can take and what I need to leave behind. No inspections of either property have been done (which I thought was how house swaps worked). Just told to sort it out between yourselves but move within two weeks. And this 'offer' fulfills Housing's obligations. Very confused. How is this an offer?

    HO said I could apply for a discretionary housing payment.., but not without a move in date and no chance of getting it with time to book a removal company. Because of my health problems, I don't see how I can pack up and get things sorted in two weeks.

    So I have one option. Its all that is left. I've already refused the offer. I can't get any help. Already tried the community mental health team in an absolute state and they told me to find an advocate. Tried that a couple of years ago.. there are none in this area.

    I must be supremely nieve but I dont' understand how housing can treat my family in this way. Maybe afterwards there will be an investigation, I don't know. All I can hope for. Why couldn't they offer me something workable? They just arent' listening at all.

    My poor kids. But I can't help them. I've spent the afternoon screaming. Trying to find help. Trying to talk calmly, Breaking down when I couldn't. There's nothing.
    Dreadful situation. Sorry folks.
Page 2
    • Rosieandjim
    • By Rosieandjim 18th May 17, 4:48 PM
    • 83 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    Rosieandjim
    Hmmm! I can understand perfectly why they are moving 2 deaf/mute people from a ground floor flat in a not very nice area. They will be much safer on the first floor or above.


    However, if you want this GF Property you will have to move as soon as you can even if it was an offer on an empty property you would still have to move quickly or risk having to pay rent on both properties as we did to gain an extra weeks grace.
    Last edited by Rosieandjim; 18-05-2017 at 4:51 PM.
    • Cakeguts
    • By Cakeguts 18th May 17, 7:17 PM
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    Cakeguts
    I am not sure what you mean by deaf and dumb? Do you mean a deaf couple who use sign language? What would you expect them to do if they have never been hearing and have never heard speech? Not being able to hear or speak doesn't make them less intelligent or unable to look after a child. I am sure that they can communicate fine with the hearing world.
    • Gleeful
    • By Gleeful 19th May 17, 12:32 PM
    • 1,908 Posts
    • 7,386 Thanks
    Gleeful
    Are you ok, Deannatrois?
    • deannatrois
    • By deannatrois 12th Jun 17, 2:28 AM
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    deannatrois
    OK thank goodness things are a lot better now. Probably the worst time of my life at the time. Hugely stressful.

    My concerns were that I was being given a house swap which is one thing, but threatened with eviction if I didn't take it up as if it was a property offer. Increased stress. Shelter did agree that they'd never heard of a scenario like this and would have taken the case on. I decided not to pursue the legalities of this as by the time the case had been registered with legal aid I would have either been evicted or moved (two weeks isn't long).

    As I was concerned would happen, lots of problems communicating with the other party. Initially they were ignoring all forms of communication unless they were made through the support worker. Hence they didn't accept the offer until 10 days after it had been made. They had a very overworked support worker, who only last week told my son's social worker to communicate with the other party because he had too heavy a caseload. This caused big delays in getting anything arranged, which I suspected would be the case and was important with this 'move in two weeks or you'll be evicted' letter hanging over us.

    My sons' social worker has worked very hard (all credit to her) and is unofficially acting for the whole family until I can be allocated a support worker.

    We did mutual viewings end of last week, did manage to communicate most things (difficulties with others). My sons' social worker was told there are words/concepts that just aren't covered with BSL so we tried our best to work around that. Trying to explain paying for utilities by DD (which I do rather than have a prepayment meter) was quite amusing, even writing it down I could see they didn't understand. I have felt quite bad for the other party all the way through this and felt worse after I viewed the property as there is no doubt I am getting the better part of the deal and they don't want to move. In the contact I had with them, it was apparent that yes they were deaf and unable to speak but there were other difficulties as well. I desperately didn't want to upset them. The gentleman in particular was shall we say a bit 'jumpy' and I felt they were very vulnerable and needed handling carefully, which I am not the best person at doing as I have ASD. Things occur to me afterwards, not during verbal communication and given the situation it was all too easy to say the wrong thing without realising and make the situation more difficult for them. The place needs total redecoration which I expected and there's no flooring (I did do both to this place) but that's not a big problem.

    I gather from posts on here it was felt that I am 'anti' the special needs the other party have. Not the case at all, I felt it made them very vulnerable and had already experienced the difficulties in communicating with them. At the time, I didn't know how to get over this within the time limit housing had given. It took Housing, and two social workers to work it out. There are too many people on here who go for the 'quick score' and don't realise that I was already on the edge. It made things worse.

    Castegating me for perceived 'anti special needs' attitudes when I am very very pro special needs having dealt with them for 20 years was not helpful. Both my sons have ASD, it turns out I have ASD, so I am very very aware of the ramifications of communication difficulties. I am here, dealing with the situation and was aware of the problems these needs were causing with the two week time limit for moving. I was trying to explain that that time was not enough because of the special needs.., not be anti special needs. Fortunately we did get a slight extension eventually.

    The problem all the way through this was the stringent moving time which didn't take into account the special needs of both parties (I have my own).

    We are moving on 17th. Some problems I will have to deal with, but its all sorted, even hiring the same removal people to make it easier.

    In the end, even Housing were pushed to get involved in sorting the mess out. It was only at that point that things started moving. Up until then they were saying 'sort it out amongst yourselves' which was proving to be impossible. The other party were just ignoring all communications. I could understand this as they are obviously very vulnerable.., but was worried we'd get evicted through no fault of our own too.., it was a difficult situation to be in as I was at war with myself. Concerned for them, feeling it was wrong, scared of being evicted, absolute frustration all at the same time.

    So we are moving and its to permanent accommodation. I can paint to my hearts desire lol. (Probationary tenancy for the first year obviously). Feel like out lives are starting again, thank goodness.

    If they are willing I will make sure the other party feel able to get in contact with me if there are any problems.

    To RosieandJim, they are being moved from a ground floor maisonette to a ground floor maisonette. Because it was a house swap there was no possibility of paying rent on both properties for a week. It was move by that date or be evicted. The communication difficulties made that difficult.
    Last edited by deannatrois; 12-06-2017 at 5:18 AM.
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 12th Jun 17, 3:27 AM
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    seven-day-weekend
    Although I didn't particularly understand what the problem was in the first place (was it the time limit?), I'm very pleased that you now have a permanent home. Congratulations!
    To love someone is to learn the song in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten it
    'I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but because I see everything by it': C.S. Lewis
    'Let me tell you this one thing. When you fall out, as you will, don't get blaming each other. Look inside yourself first'. - Hilda Ogden, to Sally on her wedding day to Kevin, Coronation Street 1986. '
    • deannatrois
    • By deannatrois 12th Jun 17, 3:47 AM
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    deannatrois
    Yes definitely was the time limit. Not all over yet, got a week to go.
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 12th Jun 17, 6:48 AM
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    BrassicWoman
    I'm very very glad this looks like it will work out and have everything crossed for you!
    Downsized and mortgage free
    Dec 17 grocery challenge £89.65/ £120
    • sparky130a
    • By sparky130a 12th Jun 17, 7:15 AM
    • 638 Posts
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    sparky130a
    Light at the end of the tunnel! Hurrah!

    Now just keep it cool and get it done lady...
    • Winter Phoenix
    • By Winter Phoenix 12th Jun 17, 7:43 PM
    • 247 Posts
    • 1,327 Thanks
    Winter Phoenix
    You've been through so much, Deannatrois. I hope this is the beginning of a happy and peaceful phase of your life. Wishing you fine weather on moving day!
    e cineribus resurgam
    ("From the ashes I shall arise.")
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